


Playing With Fire

by anyrei, mugglerock



Series: Domination and Submission: A Love Story [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Astroglide Makes an Appearance, BDSM, Barebacking, Best Friends, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bondage, Bottom Dean, Breathplay, But They’re Friendship Goals, Castiel is a Geek, Castiel is a Hybrid of Himself and Misha Collins, Castiel/Dean Winchester BDSM, Comedy, DCBB, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dean Winchester Has a Panty Kink, Dean Winchester Loves Chick-Flicks, Dean is a Hybrid of Himself and Jensen Ackles, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2017, Dean’s References are Pure Gold, Dirty Talk, Doctor Castiel, Dom Castiel, Dom/sub, Double Anal Penetration, Double Penetration, Epistolary, Excessive Use of Pop Culture References, Exhibitionism, Exhibitionist Dean, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Firefighter Dean, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heavy BDSM, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication is the Real Villain Here, Multi, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Openly Pansexual Castiel, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Panty Kink, Past Rape/Non-con, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Public Sex, Rimming, Roleplay, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Rope Bondage, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Sexual Roleplay, Sort Of, Spanking, Sub Dean, Subdrop, They’re Gross, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Castiel, Topdrop, Voyeurism, and that's canon, no really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 22:56:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 116,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12352254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyrei/pseuds/anyrei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglerock/pseuds/mugglerock
Summary: When two best friends foray into a supposedly no-strings sexual relationship, someone is bound to catch feelings, someone is bound to fuck up, and someone is bound to beg for forgiveness; because that’s the recipe for a romantic comedy.But life is not a romantic comedy, no matter how much Dean Winchester secretly wishes it was.Instead, we present: Boy finds out boy, who has been his best friend for over twenty years, is secretly a Dom. Boy then sorta tricks boy into taking him on as his new sub. Boy discovers a side of himself he never knew existed. Boy is in way over his head.[Part of the 2017 DCBB][Amazing art created by horrorfemme1138]





	1. Kids in America

**Author's Note:**

> From the authors who brought you In a Mirror, Darkly, That Wasn't Supposed to Fucking Happen!, Five Dimensions, The Heart of Ophelia, One Missed Text, and a fuck ton of other fics, we present: Playing With Fire; part one of the Domination and Submission: A Love Story series. 
> 
> **Frankie here** : So, the thing is, quite often in the wonderful world of fanfiction, there's a line drawn between kinky sex and romantic stories. There are always exceptions, but generally the more smutty/kinky fics tend to focus solely on the sex, or there's an element of tragedy involved if there is a romantic subplot. And that's the thing, if it's there, it's a **sub** plot (pun totally intended).
> 
> It's almost as though we're conditioned into thinking that a romantic love story between two people couldn't involve a healthy and explorative sex life. What we’re hoping for here is to prove that misguided assumption wrong. 
> 
> Playing with Fire is the love story between a Dom and his sub. Which means, ultimately? This is a **love** story.
> 
>  **Any here:** This is also our first time we took part in the DCBB challenge :D! About time, right?
> 
>  **Frankie here:** ALSO: Major major love, kudos, thanks, puppies for our amazing artist horrorfemme1138. Here’s a link to the [masterpost](http://horrorfemme1138.tumblr.com/post/166357130846/my-art-for-the-deancasbigbang-playing-with-fire) (NSFW!!!) for the amazing coverart and pieces she made for us. Show her some motherfucking love, ladies and jellyspoons! Thank you again, baby. We couldn’t have asked for a better artist! <3
> 
>  **Any here:** IMPORTANT: There are links used in this fic. Please remember to open them in a new tab since ao3 is totally bugged about setting targets for links!
> 
> P.S. Edited to add: You can follow us on our joint tumblr [here](https://the-real-anyrock.tumblr.com/)!

****

 

**Chapter 1**

 

“Remove your shirt.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes at his best friend's demand and put the bowl of popcorn back on Cas’s way too expensive coffee table. “It's nothing, Cas. Probably just a few scratches from the wardrobe that fell on me.”

 

Cas’s intense blue eyes were expectant, like his demand hadn't been up for negotiation. Dean rolled his eyes again, already knowing that his protest had been futile. When Cas wanted something, Dean always felt inclined to do it. Probably because, as a doctor, Cas emitted some kind of weird authority.

 

Dean pulled his shirt up and off, noticing the pain in his shoulder was even more pronounced with the movement.

 

“Turn around,” Cas commanded, his voice tender, but determined.

 

Dean closed his eyes when he felt the warm and strong hands of his best friend carefully palpate his shoulders and back. They’d known each other for over twenty years now and Dean still had a weird little crush on Cas; one that had never really vanished from when they met in high school. Not that he would ever _tell_ Cas. He wasn’t good at relationships and neither was Cas. Their friendship was the best thing in his life and he had no intention of doing anything to jeopardize that.

 

Cas sighed deeply, his warm breath ghosted over the back of Dean’s neck. “Stay here. I’ll get something to clean the scratches.”

 

Dean knew better than to argue, so he tried to change the subject when Cas joined him again on the couch and started to disinfect the scratches on his back. “So, what happened to Hannah? I thought you were seeing… him… her tonight?”

 

“Them,” Cas corrected, tone concentrated. He laid the cotton ball to the side and started kneading Dean’s shoulders.

 

Dean groaned outright. It felt glorious.

 

“We won't see each other again,” Cas finally answered, kneeling behind Dean so he could be in a better position for the massage.

 

Dean raised an eyebrow and craned his neck to look at Cas over his shoulder for a moment. “What happened?”

 

“Hannah found a boyfriend. I think they want to marry him.” Cas had said that as if he was talking about the weather.

 

“Aren't you upset?”

 

For a moment Cas stopped kneading Dean’s shoulder. “Why would I be upset? I’m happy for Hannah. I even encouraged them to go steady with him in the first place.”

 

“Really, Cas? Go steady? Did you put your pin on her– _their_ sweater before you took them to the ice cream social?” _Damnit._ He hated when he fucked up pronouns. Cas was so much better at grasping the whole plural as a singular thing.

 

Cas rolled his eyes. “You knew what I meant. Anyway, I’m just glad they found a happy, committed relationship.”

 

“But what about you?”

 

“Dean, you know I don't want a relationship. It's just about sex.”

 

If that last comment went straight to Dean’s dick–well, no one had to know. “So, you’re not seeing anybody?”

 

“Why are you asking?” Cas asked slowly, making Dean groan when he massaged a very tense area. The guy had magic hands.

 

“Just wanna know if you need a little bit of a pick me up.”

 

Cas chuckled lowly and it made the hair on the back of Dean’s neck rise. “Movie night with you is my pick me up. So, what are we watching?”

 

And that was it. Dean knew Cas was done talking about his love life. It had always been like that. Dean didn’t know why his best friend was so secretive about his relationships. Hell, he was lucky if Cas even told him their names. Maybe Cas just had a strange, “no kiss and tell,” policy, like the fucking gentleman he was. Even though, when Dean thought about it… “love life” was probably the wrong term. He had never heard Cas raving about someone, or seen him devastated after a breakup. Not like Dean had been after Lisa left him. Somehow, Cas’s relationships always sounded more like a business deal.

 

“Dean?” Cas stopped massaging him and Dean realized that he had been deep in thought for a little too long.

 

“Uh… sorry… You remember when we made the list about our top five sci-fi movies and you said you’ve never seen District 9? We’re gonna change that tonight.”

 

Cas gently clapped Dean’s shoulder. “Oh, good. I’ve been looking forward to watching that. You can put your t-shirt back on, but try not to do any heavy lifting tomorrow. Doctor’s orders.”

 

Dean chuckled as he put his shirt back on. “So, next time burning furniture falls on me, I’ll just wait patiently on the ground for someone to come rescue me from the flames. Got it.”

 

Cas flicked his forearm. “You’re a dick. Go on, put on the movie.”

 

Dean let out an exaggerated sigh. “But the DVD is _so_ heavy. My doctor forbid me from lifting heavy things.”

 

Cas was not above resorting to hitting Dean in the face with a sofa pillow.

 

“Okay, okay,” Dean relented with a chuckle, trying to defend himself. “You’re a bad doctor. Hitting a poor, old firefighter with a pillow.”

 

“There’s nothing old or poor about you, Dean. Now put the movie on. I’m busy eating popcorn.” Cas snatched the bowl from the table and shoveled a handful of popcorn in his mouth with a big grin on his face.

 

A smile that always made his heart stumble, but like always, he just mirrored it and tried to not think too much about it.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

A few days later Cas was cooking dinner for Dean in his kitchen. Judging by the smell, it was something delicious and probably healthier than the stuff he was used to eating. Cas could get away with feeding him rabbit food though, because he always made the effort to hide it with his epic cooking skills.

 

“Cas? My phone battery just died. Can I use your laptop to check on my eBay bid?” Dean had found a spare part for the Impala’s engine that was always hard to come by. Since he had to do some repairs on Baby in the last couple of days, it was always important to restock hard to get parts as early as possible.

 

“Sure,” Cas called out from the kitchen. “It’s in my office.”

 

“Thanks, buddy!” Dean dropped his useless phone onto the table and jogged over to Cas’s spacious office. Like everything in his best friend's apartment, it was elegant yet still relatively homey. Cas really had great taste. Dean sat down in the comfy office chair, his eyes falling on the picture on the desk; a picture he had given Cas on his twentieth birthday. It was of Dean hugging Cas from behind when they were still teenagers, sharing twin dopey smiles. Dean grabbed the picture and stared down at it for a moment, unable to stop the smile on his face at the memory. It was hard to not feel special, considering that it was the only photo on Cas’s desk.

 

Dean minimized Cas’s already open email program and opened the browser to check on his bid. Five minutes left and no one had made an attempt to buy the part. Experience told him that didn’t necessarily mean anything. He’d learned the hard way that most people waited until the last minute to get as low a price as possible. He eyed the timer suspiciously when the seconds seemed to tick down slower and slower. The bid still hadn’t changed, and he was still the only bidder.

 

He startled when a new message popped up in the right lower corner of the screen, indicating Cas had gotten a new email. His eyes nearly bulged out when he read the subject line: ‘I confess I'm afraid but your words make me so hot and wet.’

 

_What the actual fuck?_

 

Before he could think about it, he clicked on the message. _Probably some kind of spam or something._ He quickly realized he shouldn’t have invaded Cas’s privacy because… _Fuck. It was not spam._ It was a private email for Cas. _But ugh, just a quick, little peek couldn’t hurt._ Just to see why the chick seemed to be afraid... Because that was _not_ normal, right?

 

Dean’s eyes were glued to the message. He needed a few moments to comprehend what he was reading.

 

_Subject: I confess I'm afraid but your words make me so hot and wet._

 

_Hi Steve,_

_I’ve never done anything like this before and I still feel nervous about a first meeting. Can you tell me more about you?_

 

  * __Abby__



 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_On September 12th, 10:21 am Steve Tyler replied:_

 

_Hello Abby,_

 

_In your last e-mail you wanted to know what our first meeting would be like._

 

_When you visit me you’ll be wearing a short skirt and no underwear, so when I bend you over my couch, I can inspect your holes. When I‘m satisfied, you’ll strip for me and follow me to my bedroom. You will kneel and kiss my cock when I put the collar around your neck. This collar means that you will be my property and I can do with you what I please. This collar also represents the trust you offer me, a trust I will never break. You’re my responsibility and I will take good care of you. I’m hard, but fair and I will punish you accordingly if you disobey my orders. We talked about a safe word before, but before we meet I want to know your secret desires and all your taboos, so that you’ll never feel the need to use it._

 

_When you’re wearing your collar, I’ll put a leash on you and lead you to my window. I’ll press you against it, so my neighbor will get a good look at your tits, as well as the people who decide to glance up at my window. I’ll bend you over and will lick you open like that. Until you are a shivering mess, begging me to fuck you. But I won’t. I will put a toy in your pussy and your ass, so you’ll get used to being filled. You will get on your knees then and suck my cock. I won’t be gentle with you. I will test how well you can take it and everytime I fuck into your mouth, I’ll push you down on the toys. I know how much you need to get every hole filled and I will take my time to use you, and fuck you, hard... in every one of them. When I’m done using your throat, I’ll pull the dildo out of your pussy and shove it into your mouth so you can lick it clean._

 

_You’ll follow me to my desk then, I will blindfold you and lay you down on the table, spreading your legs and I’ll just look at your open and wet holes. I will tease you with my fingers and my cock and the toy in your ass, but you won’t know which hole I’m going to fuck first. I won’t tell you, so you’ll just have to wait and see._

 

_But I can tell you that when I’m close, I’ll pull out and you’ll open your mouth wide. You’ll stick out your tongue and I will come on it and you will swallow. If you spill even a drop, I will spank your ass..._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Dean?” Cas called out from the kitchen, “Do you want a beer?”

 

Dean quickly minimized the window again, wincing when he realized the auction was over and someone else had outbid him. _Fuck._

 

 _FUCK. FUCK. FUCK._ “Um, yeah, sure,” he yelled back.

 

Cas had a fucking secret life as a Dom? _THE HELL?_ Dean looked down at himself, realizing how freaking tented his jeans were and how his dick was throbbing just from reading those words. He had a serious problem. How the hell was he supposed to have dinner with Cas now? Especially considering that the only thing on Dean’s mind was how desperately he wanted to be in this girl’s shoes?

 

He was seriously screwed. And not in the positive, life-affirming way.

 

Dean palmed his erection, trying to quell his traitorous bodily reaction. This was Cas for fuck’s sake. Good old, boring, reliable, never even had a late library book fee, Cas! He wasn't supposed to have a wilder sex life than Dean. Hell, if he was honest with himself, he hated thinking of Cas as having _any_ kind of sex life.

 

While the temptation to finish reading the email was on the same level of eating the forbidden fruit, he didn't want to invade his friend’s privacy anymore than he already had.

 

Despite his reticence, to this day he wouldn't be able to pinpoint what possessed him to do what he did next. Minimizing the browser, he did a printscreen screenshot of Cas's alter ego email, as well as a screenshot of the website he met Abby: FetLife.com. He saved it as a JPEG, quickly pulled up his own email, and sent an email text to his own cellphone before deleting all of it from Cas’s laptop.

 

Dean had just minimized his friend’s (now marked unread) email when the door opened and Cas stood there in the doorway, holding two beers, eyebrow arched. “Did you get it?”

 

Feeling like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar he practically jumped. “Get what?”

 

“The part for your Baby?”

 

Releasing the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, Dean chuckled nervously. “Uh, no. Some asswipe outbid me in the last few seconds.”

 

Cas gave him a worried look and handed him a beer. “I’m sorry. I hope you get another chance… Are you feeling okay?”

 

Dean nodded, even though deep down he was a jumble of different feelings and emotions. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at Cas. “Uh, yeah. Just... pissed I lost out, you know?”

 

“Let me comfort you with a really fantastic dinner. I promise, one bite and all your troubles will be far away.” Cas winked at him before he turned around and went back to the kitchen.

 

Dean stared after his retreating form, heart hammering against his rib cage and dick straining against his jeans. Any more innuendo from Cas and he might just implode. Dean took a deep breath and started thinking the least sexy things he could think of. After a series of terrible imagery, it was the memory of walking in on his parents when he was twelve that instantly doused his arousal.

 

Finally feeling a little bit more like a human being, he made his way out to the dining room. Cas was bent over, setting out the dishes and silverware. Dean stood there for a minute and just appreciated the view. Actually shaking his head at his thoughts, he tried to sound a lot cooler than he was feeling in that moment when he asked, “Need any help?”

 

“No. You had a long day. Just sit down and let me take care of you.” Cas smiled before he made his way back to the kitchen to get the food.

 

Dean had to refrain from groaning outright. How had he never noticed his best friend had a bad habit of speaking in double entendre? Usually, he craved his nights in with Cas, but tonight was going to be a test to his patience, his strength, and his libido. Downing half the beer Cas gave him, he made his way to the kitchen, watching his friend from the doorway.

 

Thinking about his best friend, having known the guy most of his life, the idea of Castiel being even remotely dominating was kind of shocking. He was so… mellow was the best word Dean could come up with. Pretty laid back, he rarely got angry. It’s why he was such a great doctor. He had a damn good bedside manner and could keep his shit together in a stressful situation. Maybe Dean had it all wrong. Maybe it was someone else’s email and Cas forwarded it for them… _Or maybe…_ No. There was no way the chill best friend he’d known most of his life was capable of saying those things, let alone doing them.

 

“So, what’re we havin’?” he asked as he continued to watch Cas from the doorway.

 

“Quail in a white wine sauce served on a bed of steamed vegetables. And don’t worry, Dean. They're veggies you like.”

 

“I like veggies?” he sassed.

 

Cas turned around and raised an eyebrow. “You’ll like the ones I feed you.”

 

And goddamn it, Dean had clearly died and this was Hell. Now he was turning every damn thing Cas said sexual, and it was making standing there pretending to be a normal human almost impossible. Instead he took a swig of his beer and changed the subject, “How was work?”

 

Cas filled the plates with food and smiled at Dean. “You would have loved it. Today was a day full of drama. Balthazar had a…” Cas appeared to be thoughtful for a moment before he continued, “ménage à... douze… well, he slept with twelve girls at a party and one of them was a new nurse in our unit. It was pretty awkward this morning and then it got very loud for the rest of the day. I had to go out of my office twice to stop their fighting.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh. Balthazar had always kind of annoyed him, mostly because of how handsy he was with Cas, but the dude had some balls, he had to give him that. “You know, I never thought real hospitals had the same kind of drama as General Hospital. So, any doppelgangers double cross anybody? Maybe a murder or two? Are _you_ secretly a Russian spy?”

 

Cas waggled his eyebrows. “If I told you all my secrets, I would have to kill you.”

 

Dean almost choked on his beer. Thinking about Cas’s secrets was causing him to have an arrhythmia, he swore. Thank fuck both of them knew how to deal with it if Dean actually had a damn heart attack. Before he could stop his mouth from running, he blurted, “Not even one little secret?” He wanted his tone to sound coy, but he was certain he probably sounded more panicked.

 

Cas gave him an odd look. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem to be very tense."

 

“Peachy!” Dean barked out, falsely pleasant, hoping against hope Cas would drop it.

 

He could feel Cas’s worried look linger on him, but he thankfully took the cue and shrugged after a moment. “Well, I hope the dinner will be to your liking. It’s nice to cook for someone for a change. We should do this more often now that I have more time again.”

 

That seemed like the best and worst offer Dean had had in a long time. It wasn’t like he’d turn down a home-cooked meal, or more time with his best friend, but now with the weird tension… Why the hell did he have to go and snoop on Cas’s email? Finally, he nodded. “Would probably be better than the protein bars and Red Bulls that are my dinner most of the week,” he added lamely.

 

Cas stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Okay, if that’s true, dinner with me is non-optional any more.”

 

Dean moved to grab one of the dishes, walking into the dining room with Cas. “Alright, Mr. Bossy.” He was grateful that in that moment his back was turned to Cas, otherwise he’d be witness to the redness Dean swore was burning his cheeks. _Fuck._ Apparently Cas wasn’t the only culprit bringing up subjects that instantly made him think of the words in Cas’s email. Taking another swig of his beer, he tried to be as cool as possible as he took a seat at the table.

 

“I’m only bossy when I have to be.” Cas smirked before he gave Dean a playfully innocent look.

 

An innocent look that, an hour ago Dean might have fallen for. He knew better now. It was fucking him all kinds of up thinking about the fact that, in over twenty years of friendship, he never knew this about his best friend. As confused, weirdly turned on, and excited the news made him; there was a part of Dean that felt a little betrayed. Cas never trusting him enough to share this part of his life with him. It wasn’t like Dean was a particularly judgemental person.

 

In that moment, Dean wanted to see if he could maybe get Cas to open up, so he’d feel less guilty about snooping. “So, remember Benny?”

 

“Your colleague? What about him?” Cas asked, his voice sounded a bit quieter.

 

After swallowing a mouthful of the best tasting carrot in his entire life, of which he had no intention of telling Cas, he chuckled. “Dude’s got himself a new lady. One who’s into that vampire shit. Like, biting and bloodplay. Isn’t that crazy?”

 

Cas took a swig from his beer and looked thoughtful for a moment. “And here I thought he was rather vanilla.”

 

Dean scoffed. “Said the guy who color codes his pantry.”

 

“I fail to see what that has to do with sexual preferences,” Cas mumbled.

 

He had to refrain from laughing maniacally and steepling his fingers like Mr. Burns. They were starting to get somewhere. If Dean played his cards right, maybe he’d get his best friend to come clean about his extracurricular activities. “Dude, you know you’re my best friend, but you probably say please and thank you after you have sex with someone. Have you even said the word ‘fuck’ while in the throes?” he goaded.

 

Cas chuckled and shook his head for a moment before he bit into a potato, just grinning to himself. “If you say so.”

 

Dean wanted to groan, either Cas was being purposely obtuse, or liked torturing him. Either way, Dean was going a little nuts. “Bet you’re all Southern gentleman about it, am I right? Ask a lady, or a dude, or a lady-dude very nicely if you can please pleasure them orally?”

 

Cas put his cutlery down and raised his eyebrow. “Are you trying to ask me about my sexual preferences?”

 

Now they were getting somewhere! Dean smirked. “Come on, man. You _never_ kiss and tell. How am I supposed to know you don’t have sex with the lights off and a sheet between you?”

 

“And why do you suddenly want to know?”

 

Dean was half-tempted to throw one of the dinner rolls at his smug face. He sighed. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll just go on thinking that the way Mormons fuck is too risque for someone like you.” He knew it was immature, trying to goad Cas into opening up to him with his pathetic attempt at reverse psychology, but short of asking outright, Dean was at a loss for how to get Cas to open up.

 

Cas tried to hide his laughter behind his fist and looked away from Dean for a moment. He licked over his lips before he looked up at Dean, amusement still glinting in his eyes. “I’m totally fine with you thinking I’m boring in bed.”

 

Groaning, he finally succumbed to his immaturity and tore off a piece of roll before throwing it at Cas. “You suck. What’s the fun in trying to annoy you when you don’t get annoyed?”

 

“It’s called, ‘don’t feed the troll,’ Dean. I learned that on the internet.” Cas laid his hand over Dean’s. “I’ll give you a hint. Nothing more though. Just so you get some peace of mind and your veins don’t start to pop, okay?”

 

 _Finally!_ They were getting somewhere. Dean tried to not sound as eager as he was to hear the hint. He failed. “Yes, fine, okay… Just tell me already!”

 

Cas chuckled again before his face turned serious and he gave Dean an intense look. He waved a finger at Dean to lean in closer. The tension was palpable when Cas’s lips drew closer to Dean’s ear and his voice dropped down a few octaves, “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

 

The grain of Cas’s voice sent a shiver down Dean’s spine and he had to refrain from moaning outright. He shoved Cas away, trying to get his act together. “You’re an asshole. A _boring,_ vanilla, asshole.”

 

“If you still think that, then you didn’t understand the clue.”

 

Oh, he understood the clue alright, but only because he’d read his friend’s email and now all he could think about was Cas using that commanding tone on him and… _bad brain!_ Dean arched his brow at him. “You’re as good at giving clues as you probably are at giving head.”

 

“I just don’t think I need to advertize my skills towards you. It’s not like we’re ever going to have sex.”

 

And wasn’t that just the most depressing thing he’d ever fucking heard? Dean let out a nervous chuckle that, he hoped, would mask the disappointment he felt at that sentence. “Yeah, right. Could you imagine?”

 

It was hard to interpret Cas’s expression, he just looked at him for a moment before he cleared his throat and murmured, “How about we change the subject?”

 

 _That_ was what got a reaction? Dean mentally filed that away for later use and nodded. “Yeah, okay. So, what happened with the ‘Days of Our Lives’ shit at work?”

 

Cas took another sip from his beer, looking very thoughtful before he cleared his throat again. “Yes, um, Balthazar… Oh! He wanted to bribe me into going with him to a strip joint. And you know _when_ he asked me that?”

 

Dean shook his head as he took another bite of the quail, mouth full of food he mumbled, “When?”

 

“When I was standing right next to a sixty year old female patient. A _religious,_ sixty year old patient. With a heart condition.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “Did you have to resuscitate her?”

 

“Thankfully no, but if looks could kill… I would be dead by now.”

 

Chucking his friend’s chin, he smiled. “Good thing you aren’t. Then who would feed me?”

 

“Right! Maybe I should tell her that tomorrow. That I can’t go to Hell yet because I still have to feed my bisexual firefighter, who would be lost without me.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah. Whatever will I do without my smarmy, pansexual doctor riding my ass about my eating and sleeping habits?” When he realized what he said, he focused on his food, hoping the heat in his cheeks wouldn’t be noticeable in the dim lighting of Cas’s dining room.

 

“That reminds me that I need a favor. If Balthazar asks you about next Saturday, please tell him you’re already hanging out with me and we have something planned.”

 

“Oh, I’m pretty sure we could move our ‘plans’ to a later time, if you want to get your strip club on with your work husband,” he teased.

 

Cas gave him a pleading look. “If you have time, I would even make your favorite food. We could have a BBQ and make use of the last warm days outside. Please, I would do anything not to go there with him. He just wants to hook me up with someone.”

 

“I dunno, Cas. Could be good for you,” Dean countered as he leaned back in his chair, regarding Cas with an almost bored expression. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll find your soulmate.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes. ”Dean, you know I’m not interested in a relationship with someone.”

 

“And why is that? You’re a catch, you’ve got a great job, and you’re not _totally_ hideous. You definitely seem the type to settle down.”

 

Cas looked down at his food for a moment, his voice sounded a bit quiet as he said, “Well, I’m not.”

 

Dean sighed. “Fine. Looks like we’re each other’s sad dates for another Saturday night.”

 

Cas sighed in relief. “Thank you. I promise, I’ll make it worth it.”

 

“You better,” Dean threatened, but only half-heartedly. Spending time with Cas was always worth it, even with the weird tension he caused himself because he’s a goddamn snooper. Speaking of which... “You know… As real thanks, you could tell me _one_ thing you’re into sexually. Just one. I’ll stop buggin’ you about it if you do.”

 

Cas grinned and it was nice to see him smile again. He had the feeling that something was bothering Cas, maybe his breakup with Hannah got to him more than he let on… Cas leaned over the table with a smug smile. “Okay. One little thing. And then you’ll drop it?”

 

Dean crossed his index finger over his chest in an X motion. “Cross my heart, but it’s gotta be real. Don’t tell me to not ask about it.”

 

“Okay...” Cas folded his hands and squinted his eyes at Dean. “I’m not into vanilla sex.”

 

Waiting for his friend to continue, after a beat of charged silence, Dean realized that was all the bastard was going to tell him. Dean let out a mirthless chuckle and shook his head. “Well played.” He raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. “A deal’s a deal. I won’t pry anymore.”

 

Cas nodded. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

 

What Cas didn’t know was Dean wasn’t anywhere _near_ done prying.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cracking his knuckles as he faced his laptop, Dean took a deep breath and google searched FetLife. He was half expecting some virus loaded website that would obliterate his system, but was pleasantly surprised to find that it was essentially a Fetish Facebook. Taking a deep breath, he signed up, using a fake email he created.

 

Dean told himself he was only going to sign up to check out Cas’s profile. Find out as much information about his best friend’s secret life that he could. Without even thinking about it, when he had to upload a picture, using his now charged cell to snap a quick shot of his bare torso from the front, shirt lifted to his chin, he cropped his face out and finished filling out his profile.

 

His hand hovered the mouse over the different interests he could choose. Without even thinking about it, he clicked on “submissive”. While it was a kneejerk reaction, there was a truth to it. All of his partners had kind of taken charge in the bedroom.

 

Dean knew very little about the whole BDSM world outside of the jokes people made about that shitty Fifty Shades crap. It always seemed so– _extreme._ Like, the only kind of people who were into it were crazy, or creepy, or all of the above. That was partly what shook Dean about finding Cas's secret sex life. Cas was beyond normal, maybe a little pop culture illiterate, but overall a funny, enigmatic, sometimes dorky guy.

 

It didn't take long to find [Cas's profile](http://anyrei.de/img/art/fetlife/profile_steve_tyler.html). The image for his picture was not immediately recognizable to Dean, but somehow he knew he found the right profile. No face, just his bare torso as he was taking off a flannel shirt, which was vaguely familiar. That’s when he _knew_ it was Cas. The shirt was one Cas had borrowed from Dean a few years back and “accidentally” lost. Dean tugged at the collar of his shirt, feeling absurdly warm. For some reason, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Cas’s hipbones.

 

His attraction to his best friend wasn't something new, he'd thought the guy was hot the first day they met. But this weird lust he felt since reading that email, _that_ was new.

 

Reading through the profile, what stood out to him, (more than the plethora of acronyms that made no sense, and he planned to google later), was the “beginners welcome”. When his eyes trailed over all of the different fetishes of his friend, the warmth from earlier intensified. While some things were daunting, like the spanking and bondage stuff; some things were causing all of the blood from Dean’s brain to trail south, like lingerie and sex in public.

 

And that's what Dean would blame for his next act. The mouse hovered over the message option, feeling giddy and freaked out over crossing this boundary. Dean knew he should close out the window, go back to his normal life and go on pretending he didn't find out about such a serious game changer.

 

But before he knew it, he had clicked, “send message”.

 

Now for the difficult part. What the hell was he supposed to say? He was almost inclined to tap out a “caught ya!” type of message. Something to imply who he was. Why he didn't, he’d probably never know.

 

So, he went with short and simple:

 

_Hey,_

 

_Saw your profile, I think we might be looking for the same thing. Let me know if I'm right._

 

_Beginner looking for a Teacher._

 

Before he could think better of it, Dean hit send. The remorse that instantly hit was drowned out by the sheer titillation he was feeling.

 

Now all he had to do was wait.


	2. Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

**Chapter 2**

 

Cas stretched his arms over his head before he let himself fall onto his bed with a groan. What a day. First, all of the drama at work and then dinner with Dean. His best friend had been acting weird. Asking all sorts of questions about Cas’s sex life. He wondered what that had been about. 

 

He rubbed his hands over his face before he slipped one hand into his boxer briefs. Cas had given up feeling guilty about masturbating to thoughts of his best friend twenty years ago. He still felt a little pathetic for still being in love with Dean though. As well as never finding the courage to say something. Not that he believed it would change anything, other than the potential loss of their friendship.

 

It was also the reason why he didn’t want to have a relationship with someone else. He couldn’t commit himself to anyone as long as his heart wasn’t free. The other problem was his kinks. Even if he had the  _ slightest  _ chance with Dean, it wasn’t likely that his best friend would share his preferences and would be willing to submit to him. When Dean had told him about Benny’s new relationship and voiced his opinion about their kink, he’d felt even less encouraged. He just had to give up on the dream of having a real relationship in his life.

 

He pulled his laptop over with his free hand, the other still lazily stroking his erection. Just the image of bending Dean over the dinner table had made him hard. Imagining Dean in various positions, submitting to him, probably wasn’t the best way to quit his addiction to his best friend.

 

Cas needed to find a new sub to get the edge off. He quickly read over the message from Abby and slowly shook his head when he saw that she had written a second and third message after her first reply.

 

She was a no-go. She was too shy to be a good sub. He needed someone who could voice their desires. With shy people there was always the risk that you couldn’t satisfy them completely because they either held back, or they were too insecure to use their safeword. He had to reply to her and let her down… tomorrow. Pulling up the website to see if there were any new candidates, he had to smile when he noticed that he had five more messages. 

 

Four of them were just pals from the community; two from Inias, another Dom he was friends with and had partnered up with on occasion, and two from Hannah talking about their wedding dress. He smiled and clicked on the one with a handle he hadn’t seen before. [LuvInanElevator](http://anyrei.de/img/art/fetlife/profile_luvinanelevator.html). Obviously an Aerosmith fan, which was probably the reason he had messaged him. He was pleasantly surprised to find the message was about the guy voicing interest in being his sub.

 

The profile picture of the man was mouth watering, which was a nice surprise, especially since he was still lazily stroking his dick. He scanned his profile page, noticing that it didn’t give much away, except that the guy liked the usual stuff a newbie sub liked. Cas felt excited over the prospect of teaching a new sub. Men were usually more outgoing and direct, the chances that this guy was genuinely interested and not just curious was very high. He also seemed to be online. Cas released his cock with a promise to himself to jerk off later, and opened the chat window, deciding there was no time like the present.

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Hey handsome, just got your message. If you have time we can chat a bit and see if we want the same thing. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Hey, yeah I’d like that. I’m kinda new at this so hopefully you’re patient _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Yes, it's obvious from your profile. Don't worry though. We all have to start at some point in our life. I have a lot of experience with teaching new subs so you would be in good hands.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Good to know. Shit I don’t know what to say or how to start without sounding like a lame kid trying to ask his crush to prom or something _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: :-D You're doing fine. It's normal to be nervous. I can tell you a few basic things, because I'm sure you have a lot of questions. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I have a fuck ton of questions. I’ve always liked being the bottom, so I decided to see if being a sub is something I’m more into I guess. What got you into this whole scene? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Very similar. I always liked to have control and to take care of people. Someone introduced me to the scene and I’ve been hooked ever since. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I definitely see the appeal. Man I don’t even really know where to start with questions. I guess do you have any questions for me? _

_ LuvInanElevator: Oh I’m DDF by the way. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I like that was the first thing you said. You're doing really good. I'm DDF too, but I will need the results of a recent test from you before our first scene. Of course, I will give you the same. _

_ Steve_Tyler: The most important thing is to get to know each other and to set a few ground rules. The most important rule is, you have to be honest about your desires, sexual wishes, and taboos. I can't take care of you if I don't know your deepest wishes and your no-goes. A D/s relationship is built on trust. I also have to trust that you will use your safeword when you need to stop. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Yeah I got tested a week ago, is that recent enough? I can get a copy of my records for you. _

_ LuvInanElevator: I get that. Well, I guess I’ll start with my desires? I’m really into the idea of being totally dominated. I don’t know, there’s this kind of rush I get at giving myself completely over to another person, in every way imaginable. Physically, emotionally. Shit, I don’t even know if that makes sense. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: First, yes that’s recent enough. As long as you haven’t had unprotected sex since the test. But seeing as you brought it up in the first place, I have a feeling you’re responsible. _

_ Steve_Tyler: That makes a lot of sense to me and it's exactly what I will do with you if you choose me as your Dom. You can let go with me and I will take care of your mind, your body, and your pleasure. But I'm warning you, this feeling can get very addictive. ;-) You might never want to stop getting taken that way once you’ve opened yourself up to it. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Yeah I don't have unprotected sex, my best friend would kill me if he ever found out I was so irresponsible and you don't incur that guy's wrath man. _

_ LuvInanElevator: And I gotta say the way you talk about it makes me think I made the right decision for myself. Kinda spent my life being in control that when it comes to sex, I really like giving up that control. I love getting manhandled and just. Man I love it when I'm with a guy or a girl and he or she just knows how to break me down. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: What’s your policy regarding having unprotected sex with me? I expect us to be exclusive as long as I'm your Dom. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: If we’re both clean and only seeing each other I’m okay with it. I just want to be upfront I’m not interested in trying this with multiple people. I’m too new you know? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Don't worry, I don't share my new toys. You will be all mine. But just so you know, you can always come to me if you develop new desires (which will probably happen, since I will teach you some new things). So if you ever wanted to say, be gangbanged, you just have to ask and I can arrange for that to happen in a safe and controlled environment.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Fuck I’m not gonna lie but that really turned me on. I mean not right now or anything but damn. That could definitely be something we could explore. _

_ LuvInanElevator: So does that mean you want to take me on? I almost feel like this is the weirdest job interview I’ve ever had _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: It just means I'm very interested in becoming your Dom. But there are few more things we have to talk about before I consider meeting you.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Definitely I get that. So what else would you like to know? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Tell me if you're hard right now. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Harder than chinese algebra _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You're horny and you shouldn't make any decisions like that. I want you to go to sleep and message me tomorrow if you're still interested in trying this out. This will be a huge change and I want you to go into it with a clear mind. I don't want to scare you, but this will get very intense and hard for you. As you probably read in my profile, I'm not into hardcore SM, but I will still discipline you when you aren't obedient. And I will use toys and ropes on you that can be a lot for your body to take. I want you to think about your taboos, things that you don't want me to do. Can you do that? _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Yeah I can do that. Is this it then? I was kinda enjoying talking to you. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I like talking to you too and I'm very hard right now, just thinking about all the ways I will use you. But you won't get any sexual gratification from me tonight. You have to earn it. Do what I say and go to bed. Message me tomorrow. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Can I jerk off before I go to sleep? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Yes. Can’t have you making a decision when your judgement is impaired _

_ Steve_Tyler: Sleep well ;-) _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: You too. I’ll message you tomorrow. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler signed off. _

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

When Dean woke up the following morning, he was weirdly satisfied. Just his brief chat with Cas had given him the hardest boner of his goddamn life. Once the guilt over the fact he was deceiving his best friend ebbed away somewhat, he succumbed to his lust. He even pulled out one of his dildos to really make the experience as amazing as possible.

 

Dean had decided that he would play it off like he doesn’t know it’s Cas, so when they eventually met,  _ if  _ they met… It could be a comedy of errors type of deal, as opposed to the almost catfishing shit he was pulling. His feelings for Cas aside, he was realizing more and more that he definitely wanted to try this stuff out, and he  _ did  _ trust Cas more than anyone else… It made sense. Now hopefully he could just convince Cas of that.

 

Feeling a little extra pent up energy, after hitting the gym, the shower, and the best bagel shop in Chicago; he grabbed Cas’s favorite lox sandwich and found himself heading to the hospital. Dude never remembered to eat lunch and, even though they saw each other the night before, he really wanted to see his friend again.

 

Dean waved a friendly hello to one of the nurses that worked in Cas’s unit as he was being given a visitor armband by security. When he finally reached Cas’s office, the door was shut, which was weird. Just in case the guy was having to reprimand one of his subordinates, Dean pulled out his phone and shot him a text:

 

_ Dean: If you say the magic word, I might magically appear with your favorite lox sandwich from The Bagel Company. _

 

_ Cas: Open Sesame? Abra Kadabra? FBI? _

 

_ Dean: The fuck is FBI? Whatever. Close enough. Open your damn door. _

 

“It’s open,” Cas yelled from the other side, sounding a bit muffled.

 

Dean smiled and opened the door. “Strippergram,” he sing-songed. “Complete with catering!”

 

Cas leaned back in his big office chair with a wide grin. “It’s christmas  _ and  _ my birthday!”

 

Dean laughed as he stepped inside, dropping the bag next to a shit ton of paperwork on Cas’s desk before plopping himself down in the chair across from him. “It’s September, but nice try.”

 

“False advertizing, that’s what that is. You’re still wearing your clothes. I’m very disappointed, but at least you brought food.”

 

Feeling slightly emboldened, maybe it was the way he was finding out more and more about his best friend, whatever the reason, Dean arched his brow in a challenge. He nodded. “Alright.” Grabbing his cell, he pulled up a terrible club song on Spotify and started to approach Cas, using his slight bowleggedness to kind of swagger towards him.

 

“Doctor want a show?” he asked as he swiveled Cas’s chair towards him, starting a slow, sultry dip, smirk on his face as he grasped Cas’s knees and pulled his best move, dropping it like it was friggin’ hot. When he stood up straight, he unbuttoned the top button of his shirt.

 

About halfway down Cas placed his hand over Dean’s, stopping him from opening his shirt any further. “Hold that thought for the next time you wear your firefighter’s uniform and when I won’t get interrupted in…” He looked at his watch and continued, “about two minutes by a nurse.”

 

Dean chuckled, a little excited that Cas was flirting back so ferociously. Maybe convincing him was going to be easier than he thought. “Deal. Eat your sandwich before said nurse interrupts like you–”

 

“Dr. Novak?” A young woman, likely in her late twenties, with dark hair and widened dark brown eyes, asked from his open doorway. Her questioning tone might have been in search of Cas, but it might have also been over the fact Dean was standing next to him with half his shirt unbuttoned.

 

“Said...” Dean finished lamely as he started buttoning up his shirt again. 

 

Cas chuckled and grabbed the bag when he stood up. He leaned over to Dean’s ear, dropping his voice a few octaves as he whispered, “Play along.” He kissed Dean’s cheek and leaned back with a dopey smile. “Thank you, honey. What would I do without you?”

 

Easily falling into the role, because they did this shit for each other more times than he could count, he cupped the side of Cas’s face with his left hand. “Probably have to get your own bagels, babe.”

 

The nurse was blushing furiously and looked like she desperately wanted to be somewhere,  _ anywhere,  _ else. “Dr. Novak, it’s time for your rounds.”

 

Cas faced her with a falsely sweet smile. “I’ll be out in a moment.”

 

She nodded and ducked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Dean turned to Cas and laughed. “Man, why you gotta do that to sweet little nurses with crushes? You could just ask them not to flirt with you.”

 

Cas shook his head. “Bad experience. It seems they get more determined the more dismissive I get.” 

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re just a baby in a lab coat.”

 

Cas touched his chest with an exaggerated hurt expression. “I think you hurt my feelings, Dean.”

 

“Nice try, Dr. Novak. But you and I  _ both  _ know you don’t have those.” He poked his tongue out at Cas.

 

“True,” Cas deadpanned. “It’s just about sex with me.”

 

Stripping for his best friend didn’t cause him to blush, being caught half-naked by one of the many women that were in Cas’s work harem didn’t cause him to blush, but Cas outright talking about sex to him, especially after last night? Yeah, he was probably the same color as the damn firetrucks he rode in. Dean cleared his throat. “I better let you get to your doctor stuff. We still on for the movie tomorrow night?”

 

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world. Also, thank you for bringing me food. Seriously. I’m starving.”

 

Dean smiled. “You’re welcome, I know you forget to eat. So, uh… Want me to sneak out with my collar and hair ruffled, or want a production out there? I could call you a number of sickeningly sweet pet names and be all gross and PDA with you?”

 

“Can I have both?” Cas asked before he carded his fingers through Dean’s hair to mess it up, licking over his lower lip with a concentrated look on his face.

 

Dean was mesmerized by the pink of Cas’s tongue. For the first time in their entire lives of pretending to be each other’s boyfriends to fuck with other people, he actually felt reticent. His brain was on one track, and it was the track of:  _ I wonder what that tongue would feel like circling the head of my dick? _

 

Taking a deep breath, he tried to be as cool as he normally was. Opening the door he playfully batted Cas’s hand away. “Babe, I have work in an hour!”

 

Cas grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. “That’s sixty minutes. You can do  _ a lot  _ in sixty minutes.”

 

Faking an almost giggle, and Cas was buying  _ all  _ of the snacks at the theater for getting Dean to pull that move, he quirked his brow. “Not with your refractory period we can’t.”

 

“I will have your ass later for that comment, babe.”

 

Not something Cas hadn’t ever said to him before, but now with the new information, it had a completely different and far more erotic meaning. He yanked Cas by the tie and pulled him in, whispering, “Who told you I’m into that?” Before Cas could respond, he pressed a chaste kiss to his friend’s lips. Again, not anything they hadn’t ever done before, but now it had this weird, almost tense electricity to it.

 

When Dean drew back, he licked over his lips, in somewhat of a daze. An expression he noticed was mirrored on Cas’s face. The moment was broken by the nurse who called Cas again. His friend appeared confused for a moment, before he looked back at Dean with an apologetic smile. “I have to go.”

 

Dean nodded and loudly, for the benefit of the nurse, replied, “I’ll make sure to put in the extra large buttplug.” He couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad about the gasp of horror the nurse let out. He was too busy enjoying the way Cas was trying not to laugh.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

After the longest shower of his life, the first thing Cas did when he got home was make himself a huge cup of coffee. He smiled at the cup: “Sexiest Doctor in the World”. A gift he got from Dean a few years ago. The short intermezzo with Dean at lunchtime had left a smile on his face for the whole rest of the day. He sighed deeply, his love for his best friend would probably never end, especially when he kept falling for Dean over and over again.

 

He needed an outlet for his sexual frustration, which was slowly starting to get in the way every time he and Dean spent time together. It would be pretty awkward if he ended up getting a boner in front of Dean just because they were playing around. Not that it would be his first boner around Dean, but he didn’t have his youth and the curse of hormones to explain it away anymore.

 

He wondered if the guy from yesterday was still interested in being his sub. Cas really needed to get his mind off of Dean, and a new sub would be just the thing to keep him distracted. On his way to the bedroom, he grabbed his laptop and plopped onto his bed, booting it up while he drank his coffee. It wasn’t a good idea to drink coffee so late, but since he felt very tired and it was still too early to go to bed, coffee was non-optional. When he logged in, he immediately checked his messages, but all he could find was a few from his community friends. He tried to not feel disappointed that the guy probably changed his mind. 

 

_ New incoming message from LuvInanElevator _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Hey! I was just about to send you a message :) _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Hey to you too. :)  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Sorry it came kinda late I ended up picking up a few hours at work to help with cleanup. _

_ LuvInanElevator: Bet you thought I changed my mind. _

_ LuvInanElevator: I didn’t, by the way. Lucid, orgasmed, and still interested. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I'm happy to hear that. By the way, you don't need to justify yourself about work. One of the reasons I don't do 24/7 and only scheduled scenes is because of my job. _

_ Steve_Tyler: Do you have days when you usually have free time? It would be perfect if you didn't need to work the day after a scene. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Yeah my shifts are rotating. Three on three to four off, two on four to five off, changes up weekly. And I wasn’t justifying myself I just want to be up front as much as I can.  _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I'm usually free on weekends. I'm sure we can work it out. _

_ Steve_Tyler: Did you think about your taboos? _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I did I forgot to clarify with you. So are taboos things I totally hate and would never want to try? Or are they like the deepest darkest dirtiest fantasies I have? _

_ LuvInanElevator: You know like things I shouldn’t like but I do? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Taboos are things you don't want to do. By telling me, you ensure that I will never go there accidentally.  _

_ Steve_Tyler: If you have fantasies, especially desires you think you shouldn't like, I want to know them too. Never be shy around me. I won't ever judge you. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Okay. Thanks for explaining by the way. Taboos? I’m not okay with bodily fluids that aren’t saliva and semen. No piss, no scat, probably no blood. I’m not into illegal shit. But honestly? Other than that, I’m open to trying. I’m guessing if I try something and I don’t like it I just tell you, right? _

_ LuvInanElevator: Can I work up to the dirty shamey fantasies? I’ll tell you, but I’d kinda like to know a little more about you too first. _

_ LuvInanElevator: If that’s okay with you. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You have to choose a safeword and you can always use it to stop if you don't like something we do. But of course, ideally, knowing what you don’t like, I would be able to avoid putting you into a situation where you’d feel the need to use it. That's why it's so important that you open up to me. I need to know you, so I can take you apart. _

_ Steve_Tyler: What do you want to know about me? _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Yeah I’ve been thinking about a safeword. A part of me was thinking “Trump” cuz all that jumps out at me when I think of that assclown is STOP, but I also don’t want him killing the entire mood just by being mentioned. Do you have suggestions? Maybe not of words, but like, what to pick? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I'm laughing so hard right now. _

_ Steve_Tyler: People often use words that wouldn't come up in normal conversation or during sex. I think someone used the word, “safeword” as a safeword once. That was very creative and very clear. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Glad to be of service. And okay. That makes sense. How about Dalmatian? _

_ LuvInanElevator: I mean, unless there’s one in the room, I probably wouldn’t just say it. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: If that’s something you can remember in the heat of the moment, go for it. _

_ Steve_Tyler: And I don’t have any pets. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Would you tell me one of your favorite fantasies? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Would you feel more comfortable telling me your deepest, darkest desires if I tell you one of mine? _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Yeah, I can quid pro quo this bitch. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: This is a one time thing because you're new to this and I want to encourage you to trust me. But you have to understand that this isn't a partnership. It's not your job to satisfy my desires, like it is mine to satisfy yours. I will use you and I will take my pleasure from you. And in doing this, I will make you crazy with want and need until you're a mess. I'll make you come harder than you’ve ever come in your whole life. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I understand. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: When I think about you, I have a few things that come to mind that I would do to you.  _

_ Steve_Tyler: But not at our first meeting, when you'll still be nervous. _

_ Steve_Tyler: I’ll give you some instructions before we meet. I want you to be clean, prepared. If you have a buttplug, I want you to wear it when you come over.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I have a couple of different sizes and one that vibrates, any particular preference? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: The biggest one, because I intend to fuck you. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Would you like me to stretch myself out with a dildo first? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: That's what “prepared” means, handsome. _

_ Steve_Tyler: One of my fantasies is to shackle you to a spreader bar, so your legs are forced wide open and I can easily play with your needy hole while you're bent over and pressed against my window. Everyone will see you getting fucked by me. My neighbor, the people walking on the street. Everyone will see what a needy little slut you are. Your hands will be tied behind your back and you'll be completely at my mercy.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Fuck. I would be too. Needy. I’d be begging you to fuck me. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: But I wouldn't, not at first. I would lick and finger you open before I would fuck you with a toy. And every time you're about to come, I will stop. I will do this over and over, until you can't hold yourself up anymore and your knees are about to give in. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: And then would you finally free me by fucking me? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: That depends on how beautifully you beg. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Oh, I can beg. I would sob out your name in such a way you’d think I was praying to you. I wouldn’t hold back, I’d offer anything, everything, just to feel your cock, to feel the way you would use those insane hips to snap against me, until the only thing I would be capable of is crying out your name, that or the name of a god I don’t believe in.  _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Are you touching yourself? _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Yes. Do you want me to stop? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: No, but the next time, ask before you do it. You should start getting used to that. When you're my sub, your cock is my toy. It doesn't belong to you anymore. You only touch it when I say you can. _

_ Steve_Tyler: You will address me as master when we're together.  _

_ Steve_Tyler: I want you to spread your legs and play with your balls. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I understand, master. My legs are spread now. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Good boy. I want you to play with your rim. Just tenderly tease it.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: May I use lube? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Not yet. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Fuck _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Just keep doing that. Don't put pressure on your hole, just tease it with the tip of your finger. _

_ Steve_Tyler: Stroke your cock with your other hand, but slowly. _

_ Steve_Tyler: Just tease it. If you’re already leaking, stop touching your cock. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I am fuck I already am _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Don’t stop playing with your hole. Now tell me your deepest and darkest desire. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Fuck  _

_ LuvInanElevator: It’s something no one knows about me. Not even my best friend. Sometimes, fuck it I’ll just say it. I own women’s underwear and lingerie and sometimes, I wear it under my jeans and fucking flannel when I go out with friends, or whatever. I get a fucking rush knowing that none of them know I’m wearing knee high sheer tights attached to a silk garter belt, lacy black panties that barely contain my cock.  _

_ LuvInanElevator: My fantasy, is to be out somewhere, someone knowing I’m wearing them, using it against me, to get me to get them off. Maybe we’re on the L. It’s fucking crowded and he fingers me, slipping his hand down the back of my jeans and just, fucking torturing me, on a crowded train, constantly getting jostled by strangers. _

_ LuvInanElevator: That’s it. That’s my darkest fantasy. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: We're going to have so much fun. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Thank fuck. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I can’t wait to see you in something silky and pink.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Is red okay? I don’t have anything pink. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Red works even better. We will make your panties very dirty. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Fuck I really want that.  _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Get your lube, handsome. You’ve earned your orgasm. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Thank you master. _

_ LuvInanElevator: Can I use a toy? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You learn quickly, I'm impressed. Describe the toy. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: It’s one of those hot pink rabbits, the kind with the marbles that rotate? And the toy has four different vibration settings. It’s a modded one with a smaller clit stimulator. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You may use it. Start slowly. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Can I turn it on? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: No, push it in and out of you twenty times. Count every time you push in out loud. When you're done, you may turn it on. Lowest setting. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: And after I turn _

_ LuvInanElevator: turn onyhe setting.? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You wish me good night and have some fun. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Good night. Hope to hear from u _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You will. :) _

 

_ Steve_Tyler signed off. _


	3. Kiss Me

**Chapter 3**

 

Dean had looked at his watch for the fifth time in the last five minutes. Cas wasn’t one to be late, and the firefighter in him was conjuring up the worst case scenarios, because Cas was  _ never  _ late. Especially not to a movie, he hated missing out on the previews. Just as Dean was about to start calling Cas instead of texting, he looked up when he heard his name being called out. Cas was jogging towards him, still in his freakin’ lab coat.

 

Rolling his eyes, he smiled at his slightly frazzled looking friend. “Got stuck at work?”

 

“Yes. Balthazar got kicked in the nuts and I had to cover some of his patients.”

 

Unable to refrain from chuckling, Dean shook his head. “One of the chicks he banged?”

 

Cas tilted his head and asked, “How did you know?”

 

Feigning an amazed tone, he replied, “I have no idea… maybe I’m a psychic or something.”

 

Cas blinked and looked confused for a moment, before he groaned. “I need a coffee or a Coke.”

 

Dean reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a bottle of Starbucks iced mocha. “I got you, man.”

 

“Ugh.” Cas made grabby hands for it and took a large swig from the bottle after popping off the cap. He let out an indecent moan before he gave Dean a grateful look and murmured, “Marry me.”

 

Recoiling, Dean snapped his head away and held his hand up. “Oh,  _ uh, uh.  _ You did  _ not  _ just propose to me without a ring. Or a flashmob.”

 

“I didn’t propose to you, Dean. Don’t be ridiculous. I proposed to the  _ coffee.”  _

 

“Oh.” Dean shrugged. “Well, in that case, I’m a licensed minister. So if you need someone to officiate...”

 

“I fear the coffee won’t survive that long,” Cas mumbled and pulled Dean by the sleeve of his jacket into the theater. “I don’t wanna miss the commercials.” 

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You owe me,  _ at least,  _ two boxes of red vines for the stunt you had me pull yesterday. So no commercials ‘til you feed your firefighter.” 

 

Cas chuckled and immediately went to the line for the concession stand. “If I had known you would be so easy to please…” 

 

“That’s me, easy like Sunday mornin’.” He smirked at Cas, enjoying the fact that, despite having cyber sex with the guy last night, he was still able to have this easy camaraderie with him.

 

“If you get sick because you ate too much of this stuff, I’m not going to take care of you. Just so you know.”

 

Dean scoffed. “That’s a big, fat lie and you know it.”

 

Cas raised a challenging eyebrow. “Don’t try me, Dean.”

 

“That’s alright.” Dean pressed in close to Cas, ducking his head a little lower than Cas’s eyeline, before batting his eyelashes and widening his eyes, giving his brother Sam’s puppy dog look a run for its money. “You tellin’ me if I look up at you like this, with a pitiful sigh and whine, ‘but Castiel, my tummy  _ hurts…’”  _ Dean straightened his posture and crossed his arms over his chest. “You tellin’ me you wouldn’t take care of me?”

 

“I hate you,” Cas stated dryly before he quickly looked away, trying to hide his grin.

 

Dean decided to cut him some slack by changing the subject. “So, what are you dragging me to this time? Is it another one of your shitty foreign flicks with the subtitles? I didn’t come to the movies to read, you know.”

 

“It’s a French erotica movie. With Polish subtitles. In black and white,” Cas answered in a dry tone.

 

Letting out an undignified groan, he asked, “Really?”

 

“No, but you have three tries to guess.” Cas grinned before he was distracted by the guy behind the counter taking his order. 

 

Dean’s eyes widened in hope. “Please tell me you love me enough to take me to see ‘Fist Fight’?”

 

The concession stand monkey snickered before he pushed Cas’s order, two boxes of red vines, a blue slushie for Dean, and a red slushie for Cas, towards him. Cas smiled when he paid and shrugged noncommittally. “Maybe.”

 

Punching the air in excitement, he called out a loud, “Yes!” Which scared the old couple in line behind them. Dean apologized to them and looked back at Cas. “You’re the fucking best.”

 

“I know. Would you please carry your stuff? I’m not your donkey.”

 

Dean did him one better, he pocketed the candy, and grabbed both drinks, offering his elbow to Cas. “Ready to go watch your stupid commercials?”

 

Cas gave him a blinding smile. “More than ready, handsome.”

 

That froze him for a moment, hearing Cas call him handsome. He didn’t usually call Dean handsome, other than in their secret online Dom/sub relationship, of which Cas had no clue. Or did he? Did he know? He didn’t seem pissed if he did. Dean was shaken from his moment of panic by a concerned look from his friend. He forced a laugh and shook it off. “Thought I saw an ex.”

 

“Must have been a hell of an ex… Lisa or Cassie?” Cas asked, still looking worried.

 

Dean shook his head. “Nah, it wasn’t either of them. I’m just seeing things. Alright, let’s go see which of our movie star boyfriends will win the fist fight. If you think Charlie Day can beat Ice Cube, you’re nuts.”

 

“I  _ don’t  _ think that, but I would love to be the person who gets to stitch him up again.” Cas grinned as they took their seats.

 

“I still don’t get what you see in Charlie Day.” He chuckled as he took a sip of his slushie.

 

“Because he played a geeky doctor in ‘Pacific Rim’. And I have a weakness for geeky, intelligent characters...” Cas sighed almost wistfully before continuing, “Among other things.”

 

Dean laughed. “I’m surprised you never developed a crush on Sammy, he’s kind of your type then.” 

 

“He’s also a moose.” Cas shrugged and sipped on his slushie. “I hope you know a few hundred smurfs had to die for your slushie.”

 

“Mmmm, smurfs…” Dean hummed around his straw, purposely making slurping noises. At Cas's disgusted face, Dean grinned. “No, but seriously. You can tell me. You ever have a thing for my brother?”

 

“I never had a thing for your brother, Dean. Even though he’s very geeky and intelligent, he is  _ not  _ my type.”

 

“Technically, you're pan. You don't  _ have  _ a type,” he sassed. 

 

“Just because I don't have a preference in gender doesn't mean I don't have a type.”

 

Dean pursed his lips at him in disbelief. “Okay then, what  _ is  _ your type? You'd think after twenty-odd years of friendship I'd know your type.”

 

Cas used the straw to swirl around his slushie as he seemed a little lost in thought, before finally answering, “Funny, intelligent, loyal, responsible, open... do-gooders, I guess.”

 

“You literally just described Hannah. You sure you’re doing okay since the break up?” Dean leaned over and placed a comforting hand on Cas's forearm.

 

“I like Hannah very, very much. We’re still friends and all I feel is genuine happiness for them. You know my relationship with them was just sexual. I don't do romantic relationships.”

 

“You say that, but for all I know, you were sending roses to their workplace and writing Cas plus Hannah all over your school journals,” he teased as he grabbed a redvine, bit the ends off, and started using it as a straw for his slushie.

 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. It just wasn’t a relationship like that.” Cas started to sound frustrated.

 

Dean bit off the ends of another redvine and handed it to Cas in a peace offering. “Okay, I'm just making sure you're okay. I've got a rep to maintain. Anyone breaks your heart, I break their face.”

 

“I'm okay. I’ve maybe even found someone new.” Cas grinned as he took the redvine from him.

 

Cas had never seemed so giddy when talking about a potential new  _ anything.  _ Dean felt a weird combination of smugness and guilt over it. “That right? Anyone I know?”

 

“No. And I don't know him either, yet. But we’ve been chatting and I have a good feeling about the guy,” Cas mumbled around the licorice.

 

That was simultaneously a punch to the gut and a pet to his ego. Dean smiled and before he could ask anything else, the lights dimmed and Cas was now focused on the screen. He hoped they'd get to chat later. Dean couldn't keep lying to Cas. He was gonna ask to meet up.

 

**…. :::: :::: ....**

 

It was already late when he got home, but since he didn’t need to work the next day, Cas didn’t feel like going to bed yet. Instead, he opened his laptop and checked if his potential new sub was online. He wasn’t, but Cas still hovered over his profile for a moment, looking at the guy’s very nice body shape. He couldn’t wait to meet him, playing with a sexy man was just what he needed right now.

 

He used the time to answer emails from his friends when he suddenly got a notification.

 

_ LuvInanElevator is online. _

 

He smiled and waited for his sub to message him.

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Master, I’d really like to meet you. Sorry if that's a little upfront or over eager but I've been thinking about you all day. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: When is the next time you are free two days in a row? _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: This Saturday and Sunday. I'll have to reschedule other plans, which is no problem, but is that too soon? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: It’s not too soon. I’ll make arrangements for this weekend then. _

_ Steve_Tyler: I want to meet in a cafe in the city. This will be your last chance to change your mind. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I understand. I know I need to be prepared and clean for you, are there any other instructions? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Wear your red panties. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Fuck, okay. Which cafe would you like to meet? What time? I’m open all day. _

_ LuvInanElevator: And that’s how I’ll arrive too. ;) _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Lula Café at Logan Square Park. 3 pm. I will wear a trench coat.  _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Okay, I’ll be in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jeans. And red lacy panties. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Can’t wait to make them dirty. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Me either.  _

_ LuvInanElevator: Would you like me to wear the stockings and garters too? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I like that you already want to impress me. Surprise me. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: I just want to please you, master. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Good boy, I’ll see you then. Good night, handsome. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator: Good night. _

 

_ LuvInanElevator signed off. _

 

Cas grabbed his phone from his nightstand. He had to cancel his plans with Dean, which was a shame, but he really needed some hot sex.

 

_ Cas: Hello Dean, I’ve got to cancel our plans on the weekend. I have a date with the guy I told you about. _

 

_ Dean: Cas, buddy, you don’t gotta lie. If you just want to go to the stripclub with Balthazar, you can just say so. :p _

 

_ Cas: As if. _

 

_ Dean: OMG Cher I know! _

 

_ Cas: Did I just accidentally make a reference? _

 

_ Dean: You sure did! Fucking clueless, one of the BEST movies EVER a modern retelling of Emma. Don’t care how gay that makes me sound, it’s true. _

 

_ Cas: You should read a book now and then. You watch far too many movies to know so many references. _

 

_ Dean: You hush your mouth heathen. I don’t need to read when I could WATCH. _

_ Dean: Anyway, yeah, no, have fun. I kinda have a date too so now I don’t have to feel bad for abandoning you. _

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. Dean had a date? He hadn’t told him that he was seeing anyone. Even though he knew his heart better than to ask, still he texted,

 

_ Cas: Something serious? _

 

_ Dean: Hoping? Not sure yet. He’s kinda intense. _

_ Dean: But a good intense, you know? _

 

_ He.  _ Somehow it hurt less when Dean was dating a woman. But a man… That hurt. He couldn’t stop thinking how much he wanted to be this guy. He sighed deeply and tried to calm down, trying to remind himself that this was just the way it was.

 

_ Cas: I wish you a fun date then. _

 

_ Dean: You too. Text a 911 if he turns out to be a psycho and you need to be rescued. _

 

_ Cas: Haha. You too. _

 

Even though it was messed up, he kind of hoped the guy turned out to be a psycho.  _ Intense?  _ What did that even mean? 

 

_ Cas: I’m serious. Be careful.  _

_ Cas: If the guy hurts you, I’ll bring a bat. _

 

_ Dean: LOL Cas you’re as scary as a carebear.  _

 

_ Cas: A scary carebear with a bat then. _

 

_ Dean: Alright scarealot. I promise if he gives me Dahmer vibes, I’ll text you like the damsel in distress you apparently think I am. _

 

_ Cas: Good boy. _

 

_ Dean: You know I’m not a dog right? _

 

_ Cas: Could have fooled me the last time I saw you hovering over a steak. _

 

_ Dean: In my defense, the steak came onto me first. _

 

_ Cas: Whatever helps you sleep at night. _

 

_ Dean: Nyquil usually. _

 

_ Cas: *eyeroll* _

 

_ Dean: They have an emoji for that now, old man. _

 

_ Cas: I don’t trust those anymore, since we found out they appear to be different on your phone. _

 

_ Dean: Ha! That’s what you get for going with Droid. Your phones might be better, stronger, more functional, but iPhone? We have emojis! _

 

_ Cas: My emojis look cuter. You should see my bee. It has a smiley face. Your apple bee is just boring. _

 

_ Dean: We have sharks. The way this country worships sharkweek, bitch, you know we win. _

 

_ Cas: *intense eyeroll* _

 

_ Dean: *intense opposite of whatever an eyeroll is, ear roll? Tootsie roll?* _

 

_ Cas: *roll in the hay* *eyebrow waggle* _

 

_ Dean: *shocked gasp* I’m not that sort of boy Castiel! _

 

_ Cas: Pity, I was on a *roll* _

 

_ Dean: That’s it. Best friend status revoked for the violation of our text code: no bad puns. You are on suspension until further notice. _

 

_ Cas: *rolling on floor laughing* and now I’ll *roll* over in my bed and sleep, dreaming of rock n’ *roll*. Just *roll* along _

 

_ Dean: It’s like you don’t want me to ever bring you a bagel or strip tease ever again! _

 

_ Cas: I take everything back and claim the opposite.  _

 

_ Dean: That’s more like it. Go to sleep and I’ll text you later about your plans next week. There’s this stupid firefighter’s thing I have to go to and I think I should force you to be my date. _

 

_ Cas: Will you be wearing your uniform? _

 

_ Dean: No, black tie thing. But I can take you into the firehouse and let you slide down the pole? _

 

_ Cas: I’m in. _

 

_ Dean: I’d almost feel touched that you’re such a good friend, if it wasn’t for the fact that if I didn’t throw in the pole thing, you would say no, wouldn’t you? _

 

_ Cas: Actually you had me at “you in black tie” thing. _

 

_ Dean: You know it’s not that sexy right? I look like one of those penguins from Mary Poppins. _

 

_ Cas: Not from my perspective. _

 

_ Dean: That means you have to wear black tie too, you get that right? Your scrubs will not be approved attire. _

 

_ Cas: No worries. I know how to dress fancy. _

 

_ Dean: You wore sweats to an awards ceremony. For you. Cas you and I both know you don’t do fancy. _

_ Dean: Just make sure you have Balthazar help you buy a tux. If you showed up looking like Harry from Dumb and Dumber… Shit. nevermind, I kind of want us to dress like Harry and Lloyd now. _

_ Dean: Dibs on Lloyd, I’d probably look better in orange anyway. _

 

_ Cas: First of all, I said, “I know how to dress fancy”. Doesn’t mean I do it. I certainly won’t need Balthazar’s help *shudder*. And you mean for Charlie’s halloween party right? _

 

_ Dean: Yes, but also for this dumb dinner. What do you say? *gets down on one knee* will you be the Harry to my Lloyd, Cas? _

 

_ Cas: Ugh, I can’t resist your begging. _

 

_ Dean: I was proposing. Get it right. _

 

_ Cas: You have to work on your proposing skills. _

 

_ Dean: No I don’t. You said yes. Mission accomplished. _

_ Dean: Okay Harry. Going to sleep for real now. Have fun on your date! _

 

_ Cas: Good night, Dean. Thanks. You, too. _

 

Cas scrunched up his nose at writing the last part of the text. He seriously hoped Dean’s date would be a disaster and he only felt mildly guilty for the selfish thought. It’s not that he didn’t  _ want  _ Dean to be happy. He just wanted to be the person responsible for Dean’s happiness.

 

He tried to let his thoughts wander to his new sub. The man sounded very promising. Although the guy was new to the scene, he was already beautifully submissive and Cas really liked that the guy had an underwear fetish. 

 

Thanks to his new sub’s confession, Cas knew the man still wasn’t completely comfortable with wearing panties. Clearly feeling like it was something dirty and should be kept secret. It would be easy to use the man’s feelings of shame in his power play. 

 

Cas already started plotting out their first scene in his head, what he would do to him after they met at the café and he gave Cas his final consent. How he would take him home and make him his.

 

He loved that part especially, meeting a sub for the first time, learning all about the person and how to break them apart. He felt his cock hardening in his boxer briefs when he remembered that the guy had told him he liked to be dominated in every way possible. Cas would start by training the man in all of the different commands and positions. Just a few important ones at first, like inspection, stand, and kneel. 

 

He sighed deeply. This would be a good distraction. He hoped the guy would accept and consent to him tomorrow, and wouldn't chicken out.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean was feeling kind of nervous for his meeting with Cas. He hated that he was kind of deceiving him, but hopefully those drama classes he took in high school would pay off. If it was believable that their meeting was just an unexpected, mistaken-identity thing, as opposed to the creepier thing it actually was; then maybe they could start something new between them.

 

Cas was ridiculously good at not getting romantically attached to people he had sex with. Dean could get on board with that, and maybe finally having sex with Cas would get rid of the twenty-plus year long crush thing he had. So if Cas ever did find someone he could fall in love with, Dean wouldn’t fall apart entirely.

 

He could do this.

 

After using an enema and cleaning himself thoroughly, Dean had spent a good thirty minutes stretching himself on his biggest dildo. He’d grabbed his dick when he fucked the toy into himself a little faster and froze. Cas never told him if he could jerk off before the meeting, and seeing as the guy was probably going to be weirded out by Dean being his new potential sub, he thought it would probably be best to not do anything he wasn’t given permission to do.

 

So, through an agonizing stretching that was going to leave him with a serious case of blue balls, he grabbed his three and a half inch wide plug and slid it in with ease. Dean bit back a groan when he managed to tap his prostate. His cock was leaking. At this rate, the lacy panties were going to be soaked in precome by the time he got to the coffee shop.

 

Dean shuddered when he pulled the lacy garment up and over his dick. Deciding that the panty hose and garters would be the best way to push his best friend over the edge enough to agree to them starting a Dom/sub relationship on top of their friendship. 

 

When he was dressed in a pair of his looser fitting jeans, hopefully to hide the erection that still hadn’t gone down, he shrugged on his favorite and, a little worn out, Zeppelin tee. Cas had bought it for him when they were just nineteen and twenty. They got to borrow his Dad’s car and drive to a throwback to the sixties cover festival a few towns over. There were three Zeppelin cover bands and some really cool merchandise. 

 

It was a white faded t-shirt from the 1969 U.K. Tour. Cas didn’t even blink at the hundred dollar price tag, which was probably way more than it was worth, and handed it to Dean without even looking at him. 

 

Dean smiled as his finger trailed over the outline of the zeppelin. He grabbed a light jacket, his keys, and made his way to the L station that was only a block away from where he lived. It was weird, and a little exhilarating, wearing the panties and stockings. When he ended up standing next to a friggin’ nun on the train, he could feel his cheeks heat, wondering if she could somehow tell how much of a freak he was. He kept standing, knowing if he sat, he might come from the friction of the vibrations against the plug.

 

Letting out a relieved sigh when they reached his stop, he carefully pushed past the nun and headed towards the coffee shop. Dean looked at his watch. It was three minutes to three. Which meant Cas would most definitely already be there. 

 

When he reached the entrance, Dean saw Cas through the window, sitting at a table in the corner.  _ Now or never, Winchester.  _ He coached himself. Taking a deep breath, Dean opened the door and stepped inside.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas looked up and was shocked to see Dean coming into the café. Not only because it was Dean, but also because he was wearing the Led Zeppelin t-shirt he had bought him at some point. The same kind of t-shirt his new sub had claimed he would wear. 

 

When Dean saw him, he smiled and walked up to his table. “Hey, Cas! I thought you had a date?”

 

Cas stared at him for a moment, trying to make sense of the situation. Because this had to be a very strange, weird, cosmic joke kind of a coincidence. “Um, yes… What are you doing here?”

 

Dean laughed. “I’m meeting him here. The guy I told you about. His name is Steve. Not sure if that’s his real name though.” He made a pondering type noise as he looked around the cafe, as though trying to spot someone.

 

Cas felt like he was frozen solid. “Steve?” His voice was a lot higher than usual. “Steve Tyler?”

 

Dean’s eyes widened and he took a step back. “You–You’re just making an Aerosmith joke, right?”

 

His heartbeat was bordering on unhealthy and Cas felt like he was on the verge of having a myocardial infarction. “Are you: love in an elevator?”

 

Dean slumped down into the chair across from him and made a half groan, half laugh sound. “Well, fuck me.”

 

Cas hid his face in his hands and just wanted to die. He couldn’t believe it. This was not happening.  _ Fuck.  _ He had tried to keep this part of his life hidden from Dean and now he knew… Cas sat up straight when he suddenly realized that he wasn’t the only one with a secret here. Dean liked to be dominated! It hit him like a bolt of lightning. Dean was the one who wanted to be his sub, which meant if he had followed his orders, Dean was wearing panties and a buttplug right that very moment. And yes, there was the possible heart attack again. “Okay,” he slowly breathed out. “Sorry, I’m still trying to process.”

 

Dean leaned back in his chair and rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess that’s what we get for not exchanging face pics, huh?”

 

Cas slowly shook his head. “Yes, um, but… seriously. That’s a hell of a coincidence. This could be a movie. Like one of those romantic comedies you like so much.”

 

“First, there’s nothing wrong with rom-coms and second, I don’t know. Pretty sure most rom-coms aren’t built around a guy looking for a Dom.” He chuckled, an almost nervous sound, before he groaned and folded his arms on the table, dropping his head down.

 

“So what are we going to do? I mean… oh, fuck. Do you still want this?” Cas asked slowly, trying to not get his hopes up, when he suddenly realized what  _ this  _ meant. He had a chance at having sex with Dean. 

 

Dean actually blushed, there was no other way to describe it. “Fuck, Cas. More than I thought possible, yeah. It’s not… weird… to you?”

 

Cas let out a deep breath, trying to think rationally about everything, instead of listening to his heart and, foremost, his dick. “If we do this… it can’t affect our friendship. There  _ has  _ to be a clear line between us being friends and moving forward with this. Can you draw the line and not drag things that happen between us during scenes into our friendship?”

 

Clenching his fists, he drew in a deep breath before lifting his head and slowly nodding. Dean bit the corner of his bottom lip and finally answered, “Yeah… I can.”

 

Cas nodded slowly. “If either of us get the feeling this is having a negative influence on our friendship, we end it. I’m not going to lose your friendship over this. It’s too important.”

 

Dean nodded again. “I feel the same. If our friendship starts to get compromised, we back off.”

 

“Okay. So… you fully consent to being my sub?” 

 

Cas caught the way Dean’s tongue darted out, wetting his lips, a sign he was feeling a little anxious, but eager. “Yes. I fully consent to being your sub.”

 

Cas couldn’t stop his grin. “Then come home with me and I’ll make you mine.”


	4. Oh, Pretty Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW art in this chapter!

**Chapter 4**

 

It was a dream come true. Cas still couldn't believe Dean was his new sub. It was just too good to be true. But here they were, in front of Cas's apartment door as he searched his pockets for his keys, about to train Dean to become his perfect little toy. He could feel Dean’s nervousness and somehow that made him feel calmer. This was something he had a lot of experience with – the first time a sub took the step into a new sexual adventure, that hopefully ended up becoming addictive. He was glad to have so much experience to be the Dom Dean deserved in his first steps.

 

He had masturbated in the shower before the meeting. Training someone new was always exciting, but training Dean… Cas hoped he wouldn’t lose his usual cool just because his deepest, darkest desires were about to become reality.

 

When he closed the door behind him, he took Dean’s hand and guided him to the living room. “Wait here.”

 

He let go of him and gave his friend a once over as he commanded, “Stand straight, eyes down, hands behind your back.”

 

It was impressive how quickly Dean complied. He straightened his back, cast his head down, as he held his hands at the wrists behind his back. Dean didn’t even make a smartass comment.

 

Cas touched Dean’s inner thigh, putting a bit of pressure on his leg. “Spread your legs about hip width apart.”

 

Again, Dean complied, keeping his eyes down as he spread his legs.

 

Cas nodded. “Good. This is your position when I command you to stand. Wait here, like that.”

 

Cas left the living room and headed straight to his bedroom. He usually didn’t use a collar for every scene, but he would need one for Dean. He didn’t want Dean to be confused when he just came over as a friend. They needed a symbol for the new and alternate part of their relationship. 

 

He had bought a new one, black leather with silver rings on every side, that he had intended for his new sub. Cas smiled when he pulled it out of the drawer. He just never imagined it would be for Dean. He would look beautiful in it.

 

When he made it back to the living room, he walked up behind Dean, content to find him still in his waiting position. He didn’t even turn around to look at him. Cas let the cold metal ring from the collar slide over the back of Dean’s neck, evoking a slight shiver. He slowly walked around Dean to stand in front of him, hiding the collar behind his back. “Kneel with your legs spread as wide as possible. Feet together, eyes down, hands behind your back.”

 

Dean moved effortlessly, bracing his hands on the floor as he spread his thighs, while trying to keep his feet together. Once in position, he cast his eyes down and held his wrists behind his back again.

 

Cas carded a hand through his hair. “This is your position when I command you to kneel. I won’t tolerate mistakes in the positions I’m teaching you. Do you understand that rule?”

 

“I do, I understand,” he answered, eyes still cast downward.

 

Cas gripped Dean’s hair, roughly pushing his head down. “Try to answer again, toy.”

 

Dean hesitated for a moment before finally replying, “I understand, Master.”

 

Cas immediately let go of Dean’s hair and tenderly carded his fingers through it in a soothing motion. “That's a good boy. I have something for you. Look up at me.”

 

Ever the obedient thing he was, Cas refrained from gasping when bottle green eyes filled with lust met his gaze. He had never believed Dean could be so obedient and submissive. He already felt his cock straining against his jeans.

 

Cas slowly opened his jeans with his free hand and pulled his erection out, giving it a few pumps in front of Dean's face, enjoying the way Dean gasped when his eyes fell on it. 

 

He pulled his other hand in front of him, showing Dean the collar. "This is my gift to you. Every time you wear this, you’ll be reminded that you're my property. If you accept it, tell me and kiss the head of my cock.”

 

Dean lifted his hands up trying to grasp his hips, but Cas pulled back. “Hands behind your back, toy!”

 

Dean nodded and took his position again. He looked up at Cas. “I’m sorry, Master.”

 

“You’ll get disciplined for that later. When I command you to be in a position, you don’t leave it until I say so,” Cas explained to Dean in a firm voice, letting disappointment seep into his tone to let him know he was displeased. “I will put the collar on you after you tell me you accept the gift and kiss the head of my cock. Just a kiss. I don't want to feel your tongue.”

 

Dean nodded. “I accept.” He leaned forward, very carefully so as not to lose balance, and kissed the head of his dick.

 

Cas hummed at the sight of Dean. He had imagined this situation a million times, but actually seeing it, in reality, was unbelievably erotic. When Dean leaned back, Cas carefully put the collar around his neck, rubbing his thumbs over Dean's throat before he closed the buckle. The collar was tight, but not so tight Dean would have trouble breathing.

 

“Beautiful,” he murmured with a smile when he pulled Dean’s chin up so he could look at him for a moment. “What do you say when you get a gift from your master?”

 

Dean’s breathing was a little shallow as he replied, “Thank you, Master.”

 

Cas turned around and sat down on his couch, leaning back to look at Dean for a moment while he gave his own dick a few lazy strokes. “Stand.”

 

Bracing his hands on the floor, Dean moved to stand up, standing hip width apart before he cast his eyes downward and put his hands behind his back.

 

Cas smiled, happy that Dean could follow his order. “Good. You know two positions now. I will teach you two more today. At the end of the day, I will test if you can remember them. Remove your shirt.”

 

Dean nodded and grabbed at the hem of his shirt, hands visibly shaking. When he got the garment over his head, he balled up the shirt in his hands before dropping it to the floor.

 

“Now open your jeans. Slowly.” Cas liked that now he was getting the striptease he couldn’t have in his office. 

 

Again, Dean’s hands were visibly shaking while he fumbled with the fastening of his jeans.

 

Cas walked over to him and wrapped his hands around Dean’s, leaning over to whisper in his ear, “Do you need help with that?”

 

Dean nodded and drew back a little. “Please, Master.”

 

Cas let his hand tenderly slide over Dean’s bare chest, before he grabbed Dean at his neck and pulled him closer. He kissed him softly behind his ear and hummed before his fingers trailed down and opened the button and zipper of Dean’s jeans. He slowly pushed his hand inside, feeling the soft fabric of Dean’s panties. Cas hooked his fingers into material and pulled it up, so it would rub against Dean’s cock.

 

Dean gasped as a shudder washed over him. Cas kissed the skin behind his ear again. “Don’t be nervous, handsome. It’s just me.”

 

“It's just…” He seemed to think better of it and stopped speaking.

 

Cas leaned back and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Tell me.”

 

Dean cast his gaze downward. “I've never shown anyone this side of myself before.”

 

“Which is a pity. I bet you look mouthwatering.” Cas pushed Dean’s hand against his hard cock. “Just the thought of seeing you in them makes me rock hard.”

 

Dean breathed out a choked, “Is… is kissing off the table or…”

 

Cas was angry with himself that he almost let his feelings for Dean get the better of him. He needed a few moments before he nodded. “At least for now. Today is about you learning your place. Remove your jeans. I want to see you.”

 

With a shaky nod, Dean carefully slid his jeans down. Cas eyed him curiously as he did so, until he saw the garter and a hem of a stocking. Now it made sense why he was being so careful.

 

“Fuck, you look beautiful,” he breathed out before he licked over his lips. “Follow me.”

 

Cas made his way to his bedroom, walking backwards so he could watch Dean walk in the underwear.

 

 

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean was feeling a little overwhelmed with everything, but was hopefully keeping his cool. He'd never felt so naked in his life, and considering he was in panties and stockings…

 

If there was anyone alive he trusted enough to know about this part of his life, it was Cas. He took a calming breath and followed Cas into his bedroom. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to stand or kneel, and felt a little breathless, not trusting to be able to ask without stuttering. 

 

Cas took away that insecurity when he nodded towards his bed. “I will teach you two new commands now. Inspection and Examination. Inspection is first. Get on the bed and kneel like you did before, with your legs spread wide. But this time present your ass to me and keep your head down.”

 

_ Fuck.  _ The part of him that was a complete novice to the whole scene was terrified, but the freak inside was unbelievably excited. He crawled up onto Cas's king size bed. He wasn't new to Cas's bedroom, or even his bed. They'd been sharing beds since high school, but now… Now it was taking their relationship to a different level.

 

Crawling on all fours, Dean positioned himself, stocking clad toes just at the edge of the bed as he spread his legs and bowed his head down. His heart was hammering against his rib cage. Dean had never felt so exposed before.

 

He could hear Cas breathing behind him and, for what felt like an eternity, nothing happened. Dean startled when he suddenly felt Cas’s fingers pulling his panties aside, running a finger over his cleft.

 

Cas’s voice sounded breathless and deep when he finally spoke again, “The next one is Examination. Spread your ass cheeks with your hands, so I can get a good look at your hole.”

 

Dean refrained from shuddering, that deep voice talking so casually about something so…  _ fuck.  _ He'd never been more turned on in his life. Turning his head to the side against Cas's mattress, he did as instructed. Spreading his cheeks taut, so much so he worried he might cause the plug to slip free. Thankfully he didn't.

 

Cas let his fingers ghost over Dean's ass cheeks and over his hands when Dean heard him make a disapproving sound. “Head down, not to the side.”

 

“Sorry, Master,” he murmured as he tried to keep himself balanced by pressing his forehead into the mattress.

 

Cas hooked his fingers into the panties and pulled them up again before he pushed at and wiggled the buttplug.

 

Not expecting the sudden onslaught of pleasure, Dean moaned, trying to not lose his grip on his spread cheeks.

 

Cas let go of him and he heard shuffling somewhere behind him, opening a drawer and from the sound of it, pulling things out of it. He wished he could see what Cas was doing, but there was this almost dangerous exhilaration he was feeling at not knowing what Cas planned to do to him. He was going on his fifth hour of teetering on the fence of pleasure and a profound dissatisfaction that was fast becoming a little uncomfortable.

 

Without any warning, Cas pulled the plug out of Dean before his fingers circled his hole. Cas hummed and murmured, “So open for me. It'll be so much fun to use you."

 

Something wet dripped on his rim before he felt Cas’s finger teasing him, spreading the wetness around his hole, before he dipped a finger inside. Cas wrapped his other hand around Dean’s balls, squeezing lightly. “When was the last time you masturbated, my little toy?”

 

It was getting difficult to keep himself upright and balanced, especially now that he was getting finger fucked. Dean let out a shaky exhale before answering, “The la – last time you gave me permission.”

 

Cas chuckled lowly. "Good." He pulled his hand away from Dean's balls and a moment later he slipped a cock ring over Dean's already throbbing dick. "I don't want you to come from what I will do to you next."

 

The slight pressure caused an ache in his dick that was a little overwhelming, but not necessarily in a bad way. “I–I understand, master.”

 

He could feel Cas leaning over him, his free hand tenderly following the line of Dean's spine, the other finger was still in his ass slowly rocking into him. "Don't worry, toy. I will take good care of you."

 

Cas removed his finger from his ass and for a moment Dean didn't have any contact. No reassuring touch, nothing that indicated what Cas was doing behind him. He bit his lower lip to stop the needy whine that was threatening to escape.

 

He could hear Cas moaning lowly and for a split second he could feel the head of Cas's cock pressed against his hole and the unmistakable sound of skin on skin. Cas was jerking off to the sight of his ass.

 

Dean groaned, his need fast becoming too much. He wanted to push back into the sensation, but his position insured he couldn't. “Please…” he whimpered.

 

He didn't expect Cas to suddenly bind a rope around both of his wrists. A rope that, when Cas pulled at it, bound his hands tight together and left a slight burn in its wake. He nearly lost balance with the new position, but Cas pulled him up, now upright on his knees. Without any warning, Cas shoved a lubed finger deep inside Dean's ass, aiming directly for his prostate. 

 

“Fuck,” he hissed out in pleasure, feeling dizzy with want. The fact that this was actually happening. That he was pulled upright by a rope while his best friend tapped his prostate, the potential of what was to come... Dean was fucking elated. He was more than ready, but wanted to take being a sub seriously. For Cas. And honestly, a little for himself, realizing that this,  _ this  _ was definitely what he wanted out of a sexual relationship.

 

That sort of realization was world turning, but his best friend was there to guide him through it. So, the possibility of feeling lost or confused was impossibly out of reach.

 

"Don't be shy. I want to hear you, toy." He could practically hear the smile in Cas's voice. 

 

Dean had known Cas for the better part of his life, but seeing this new side of him wasn't just curious, it was exciting. His usually laid back friend took charge like it was his goddamn destiny. It wasn't that Dean was shy, more like a little overwhelmed. Cas managed to become authoritative and commanding, in such a way all he could think about was pleasing him. Satisfying his Master.  _ Damn,  _ he liked the sound of that.

 

Feeling a little more bold, Dean started panting and groaning against the digit slowly fucking into him, loving the slight burn of the ropes against his wrists, the way his lace panties were pulled to the side so Cas had nothing obstructing him.

 

Every time Cas would tap at his prostate, Dean unleashed a moan, a whimper, a litany of mumbled words, begging for more. “M–Master, I need more. Please can I have more?”

 

Cas pulled his finger out and chuckled at the frustrated noise that slipped from Dean's lips. A moment later he could feel a slick and very thick dildo being pushed into him. When the toy went impossibly deep inside of him, Dean felt Cas's fingers on the inside of his thigh, fastening something that felt like a leather harness around his leg and hips, that he then realized was to hold the dildo in place.

 

"I want you to kneel on the ground in front of my bed," Cas commanded while he tenderly played with the lace over Dean's skin.

 

Dean shakily tried to slide himself off of the bed, which proved difficult with his hands bound. Sliding back, groaning at the movement of the dildo, his eyes practically rolled to the back of his head as he moved to stand off of the bed, before dropping to his knees. Dean was a quivering mess from all of the stimulation and they hadn't even really done anything yet.

 

Cas carded his fingers through his hair, before he roughly gripped it and held his cock in front of Dean's face. "Look up and open your mouth."

 

His mouth watered at the prospect. Cas had a nice dick, the kind you see in skin mags. Dean really hoped he was about to get his face fucked. And wasn't that just the weirdest thing to casually hope for? Hell, he didn't have Rhonda Hurley teach him how to deep throat for nothing.

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean's lower lip and smiled. "Cross your legs and sit back on them, I want the toy pushed deep in you while I fuck your mouth."

 

Dean obeyed at a dizzying speed, groaning out loud as the toy plunged even deeper with the new position. He kept his mouth open, patiently waiting for something he'd only ever dreamed of to become reality.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas felt incredibly on edge. All of his fantasies were becoming reality and he couldn't believe how turned on he was just at the sight of Dean on his knees in front of him, desperately wanting to get filled. He rubbed his cock over Dean's lips, smearing his precome over them. Dean was his. Dean was letting himself get used by Cas. He had never felt such heights before when he trained a sub.

 

But he had to hold back and forbid himself to come in Dean's inviting mouth. Not yet. There was still so much he wanted to do.

 

He buried both hands in Dean's hair and pushed his cock in. Carefully, first to see when Dean would choke on it. To his surprise he could feel Dean relax around him, taking him all the way in with controlled breathing. To say that Cas was impressed and surprised was an understatement.

 

He stroked one hand tenderly over Dean's eyebrow. "Didn't know you already had experience, you dirty cock slut. I'm impressed."

 

Dean hummed in affirmation, working his throat around Cas's length as the reverberations caused a tremor of pleasure to course through him.

 

For a moment he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being buried in Dean's hot, wet mouth. "You just beg to get filled in every hole, don't you? You take my cock so good."

 

Cas gripped Dean's hair harder again and started to fuck his mouth, hard and deep. He kept his eyes on him when he pinched Dean's nose, so he couldn't breathe. When Dean choked, Cas moaned at the intense feeling around his cock, Dean's throat clenched around him. He let go of him and let him breathe normally for a while, before he restricted his breathing again. Just for a few seconds. Just to feel Dean choking again. 

 

He rubbed the tear away from Dean’s eye and winked at him. “You’re doing so good, toy. I’m going to fuck you now.”

 

Usually he mouth fucked his subs for longer, but he knew he’d come if he tried to prolong it with Dean. He pulled his cock out and helped Dean stand up. He was already trembling and seemed to be weak in his knees. Cas guided him to the desk in his bedroom and bent him over it. 

 

For a moment he softly caressed Dean's ass. He was looking forward to disciplining Dean later; after he had thoroughly fucked him and come on his tongue. He played with the dildo in Dean's ass, pushing it in and out while he lubed up his cock with his other hand. “Tell me what you want, toy.”

 

“I want your cock, sir,” Dean whimpered.

 

Cas opened the straps on the toy and pulled it out, letting it fall to the ground before he pushed the panties out of the way again, pressing his thumb into Dean's hole. He hummed, appreciating he was still slick with lube. Cas kneaded Dean's ass, spreading his cheeks before he teased Dean’s rim with his cock. "You think you’ve earned it yet?"

 

“If I haven't, please tell me what I need to do to earn it.” Dean’s voice quivered and Cas had never wanted anything more in his life in that moment.

 

"I'm going to play with you a little more and I want you to stay quiet. If you can't be quiet, you’ll get a few more slaps on your tight, little ass when I discipline you later... after I’ve fucked you."

 

Dean nodded, keeping silent. Cas couldn't help but feel proud at how quickly Dean was learning. He bent over and started to lick around Dean's rim, cupping Dean's balls with his other hand, scratching over them lightly.

 

Dean trembled when Cas softly slid his fingertips over his balls and his cock, before he plunged a finger into Dean's hole.

 

At that, a soft moan escaped Dean's lips and he felt his friend tense beneath him. Cas chuckled lowly against Dean's ass cheek and pushed his finger deeper, adding a second to tease Dean's prostate. Just the thought of having Dean bent over his lap later, spanking his ass, made his cock throb in anticipation. 

 

He could feel the way Dean was controlling and pacing his breathing, fighting the sounds that were threatening to escape. So much restraint should be rewarded. He softly bit Dean's ass cheek, soothing the area with a kiss before he pulled his finger out and lined up his cock.

 

Cas let out a deep breath, trying to stop himself from getting overwhelmed over the fact he was about to fuck his best friend and secret love of his life. He had a responsibility as Dean's Dom and he didn't want to fuck it up. He couldn't let his feelings slip through during their scene and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel daunted about the aftercare time. Cas was usually very affectionate with his subs and he was scared Dean would finally notice how he felt about him. 

 

"You're allowed to make noises again, pet. I want to hear your pretty moans." Using names like pet and toy for Dean was the only thing that protected him from confusing their relationship. Dean was his sub. He needed to remind himself of that fact. 

 

“Thank fuck.” His toy groaned as he let out a positively indecent whimper. The way the sounds kept escaping, Cas had to admit he was impressed by his pet's earlier restraint.

 

He roughly pushed his cock into his sub, hard and without holding back. He knew his little plaything could take it and needed it hard and fast. The cockslut was moaning loudly when Cas fucked into him, deep and hard against the desk, biting his lower lip to keep himself from coming. He slipped his hand between Dean's legs and removed the cock ring, still pounding into him, angling his hips so that he was thrusting downwards against Dean's prostate. "Tell me when you're close, pet."

 

He practically mewled, “I – I’m close!”

 

Cas wrapped his hands around Dean's neck and pushed him down on the desk. "Don't come yet, baby. Can you do that?" Cas gasped out, rubbing his thumb over the back of Dean's head. The petname was a slip up, but he hoped Dean didn’t notice.

 

Dean moaned, voice shaky as he answered, “Y – Yes, Master.”

 

Cas fucked him harder, biting his own lip so hard that it probably started bleeding. When he thought he couldn't take it any longer, he pulled out of Dean, yanking him up by his bound wrists and roughly shoving him towards the bed. "Lay on your back."

 

Obeying quite beautifully, Dean knelt on the bed before carefully laying on his back. His hips were arched upwards from the way his hands were still bound behind his back.

 

Cas looked down at him before he pulled his own shirt off, feeling incredibly hot. He knelt over Dean's legs and bent over to lick a long stripe over Dean's cock before he took it in hand and started to jerk him. He wrapped his other hand around his own cock and stroked himself in time. He was so incredibly close. "Open your mouth and stick out your tongue."

 

Letting out a breathy moan, Dean obeyed, opening his mouth without even the slightest hesitation.

 

"Good. Now you're allowed to come," Cas breathed out as he picked up the pace, stroking Dean.

 

A litany of swear words were stuttered and broken from the way Dean succumbed to his pleasure. His moans were sinful and worthy of a porn star. He’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life. It was likely why he never remarked on Dean’s disobedience in that moment. 

 

Cas stroked him through his orgasm before he switched hands to spread Dean's come over his own cock. He swiped the other hand through the the hot mess on Dean's stomach and licked it from his fingers before he slid further up on the bed to get his cock closer to Dean's face. "Come on, show me your tongue."

 

Dean’s tongue flattened out against his bottom lip in preparation for him, it was breathtaking.

 

The sight of Dean, ready for him, was all it took to push him over the proverbial ledge. He gasped when his orgasm struck, coating Dean's lips, tongue, and chin with his come. The sight was so amazing, he almost wished he could come again in that very moment.

 

Leaning back with a satisfied smile, Cas murmured, "Look at you… You can lick it up if you want."

 

Dean made it a point to not break eye contact with Cas while he swiped his tongue over his lips and chin, lapping up Cas’s come like a dehydrated dog. 

 

Cas hummed, pleasure still tingling through his body. He carded his fingers through Dean's hair and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "You have a few minutes to rest while I clean myself up. When I come back, I’ll untie you and you can show me how well you remembered the positions."

 

Dean looked up at him, a soft smile on his face, clearly satiated, and answered with a soft, “I understand, Master.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

There was a dull ache from the way his hands were still bound behind him. Cas had disappeared… a while ago now. The longer Dean sat there, naked, bound, still sticky with come, the more difficult it was becoming for him to play it cool.

 

A wave of concern washed over Dean. Had he fucked up? Was Cas out there freaking the fuck out because they crossed such a line? Had he irreparably damaged his friendship with Cas because he just  _ had  _ to know what sex with the guy was like?

 

Dean tested the strength of the rope, wriggling his wrists in an effort to get the ropes off. He knew if Cas wasn’t out there freaking out, then this would be a pretty disobedient move as a sub. But his friend’s emotional health was way more important to him in that moment. He had managed to get one wrist out of the bind, and had started untying the ropes from the front when the door opened.

 

_ Shit. _

 

He quickly slammed his hands behind his back again, trying his best to retie the restraints before Cas noticed.

 

Cas gave him a smile and let his eyes wander over Dean’s naked body, before he sat down on the edge of the bed. He was completely dressed now, making Dean feel even more naked. “Turn around. I’ll untie you.”

 

_ Fuck.  _ Dean took a deep breath and looked up at him. Maybe if he was honest Cas would be a little more lenient. “I’m sorry, Master, but I’m, uh…” He pulled his hands from behind his back and held them palm open in front of Cas. “I’m already untied.”

 

The smile fell from Cas's face. "You disobeyed my orders." It wasn't a question, just a cold, stated fact. 

 

Dean nodded. “I’m sorry, Master. I was…” He wasn’t able to maintain eye contact any longer. Bowing his head he finally finished, “I was worried about you.”

 

"I gave you a clear command. I explained to you that as long as you wear this collar you are my property and you submit to me. There is  _ no  _ excuse for your disobedience." Cas sounded angry and extremely disappointed. "It is not your place to be worried. You can worry about your friend. But right now, I'm not your friend. I'm your Dom and you are my toy." He pointed to the ground in front of him and commanded, "Kneel."

 

Dean nodded and got into the proper kneeling position, legs spread, feet crossed, hands behind his back. He ducked his gaze and awaited his punishment.

 

“Now stand.”

 

This time, without using his hands to brace himself, he stood himself up, getting in the hip width stance without even batting an eyelash. Not being able to look at Cas, to see his face, was starting to grate on him, but he knew better than to continue to displease his Dom. Dean really needed to get better at separating his friend Cas, from his Dom. 

 

He could see out of the corner of his eye that Cas had left the bed and was slowly walking around him. "Now show me the position for inspection," Cas commanded from behind him. "Here on the ground, not on the bed."

 

Dean shakily nodded as he got down on all fours. Spreading his legs as far as they could go, he bent his head down and arched his hips up. For some reason, he felt far more vulnerable than he had the first time he took this position.

 

Cas reached between his legs and cupped his balls and dick, hiking his ass a bit higher up. "Stay like this."

 

Unable to stop himself, he let out a soft moan at the contact. Cas pulled his hand back and was quiet for a long moment. Dean could only hear his breathing before he voiced his next command, "And now get ready for your examination."

 

Somehow, someway, Dean’s refractory time had reverted to when he was in his early twenties, his cock hardening against the lace prison. Exhaling a shuddery breath, Dean braced his forehead against the carpeted floor and spread his cheeks, making sure to pull the fabric of the panties with him. He offered himself entirely to Cas again, trying to focus on his breathing.

 

Cas quietly walked around him again and Dean could feel his eyes on him. He could hear Cas opening a drawer of his nightstand, pulling something out before he resumed his position behind Dean. Cas let his fingers slide over Dean's hole, before he pressed one inside and against Dean's prostate, rubbing over it relentlessly.

 

Unable to stop himself, he moaned and arched up into the touch as best he could considering his position. 

 

“You’re such a needy toy.” Cas removed his finger and stood up before he walked over to his bed to sit on the edge of the mattress. “It’s time for your punishment. I want you bent over my lap, come on.”

 

Dean contained the whimper that threatened at the loss of contact. Almost in a daze, he lifted himself up before crawling long ways over Cas's lap. He had a feeling he knew what this was about, he just hoped he didn't wimp out and use his safe word.

 

He startled when he felt Cas's hand on his ass, tenderly stroking and kneading his cheeks, his finger occasionally dipping towards his rim, pushing into him for a moment just to pull out again. "Here’s what's going to happen. I will use my hand to spank you. The first slap won't count, it's just to see where your pain threshold is. You will get five slaps for messing up the position at the beginning of our playtime. You will count all those slaps out loud.” 

 

Cas pushed a finger into his hole again, prodding at Dean’s prostate. Dean felt precome dripping from his cock, leaking on Cas’s legs and leaving wet stains on his panties. The combination of being so exposed and at Cas’s mercy was almost too much.

 

“The second punishment for your disobedience will be a lot harder. But since this is your first time, I will be merciful and you’ll receive twenty five slaps instead of fifty. I won’t use my hand for this punishment, but a flogger.” Cas pulled his finger out of Dean again and he could feel the cool leather straps of the flogger tenderly being dragged over his ass.

 

While a part of him was nervous, maybe even a little freaked out, his cock still twitched at the idea of actually being spanked. It was stimulating in a way he'd never thought possible. All part of a deep-seated urge to be degraded.

 

“I understand, Master.” 

 

Cas pulled down Dean’s panties, just enough to completely expose his ass. For some reason, it sent another wave of pleasure to his dick. Not just from the material of his underwear straining against his cock, but also because of the mixed feelings of being in such a humiliating position, completely exposed. Dean couldn’t help but feel a sort of excitement over the idea of actually getting his ass spanked.

 

The first slap on his left cheek wasn't that hard, just surprising. "On a scale of one to ten, how much did that hurt?"

 

“Maybe a three?” he offered, mostly because it was so jarring.

 

Cas let his fingertips slide tenderly over his crack. "I want you to count now."

 

The next hit was a little harder, not much, but definitely closer to a five or a six. “One.”

 

“Tw–Two,” Dean gasped out when Cas hit the exact same spot with a little more force, he gripped the comforter for purchase, kind of surprised at his own bodily reaction to being spanked.

 

The third strike was over his hole and Dean almost forgot to count out loud, a weird mixture of pain and pleasure restricting his vocal cords. He finally managed a weak, “Three.”

 

Braced and more prepared, he managed to count strikes four and five without any stuttering. The last two hits were about the same force as the third strike, but on his other cheek, leaving a wonderfully stinging tingle that made his dick leak with excitement. If Dean had had any reservations about whether or not being a sub was for him, this moment irreversibly changed that.

 

"Your ass looks good with my handprint... But I hope you've learned your lesson, pet. The next time I give you a command, stay in your position," Cas rebuked him with a firm voice, while he spread Dean's ass with his fingers. He fingered his hole for a moment, before he pushed in again, starting to massage his prostate. 

 

“Ye – yes, Master,” he stammered, losing himself to pleasure once again. The heat and soreness in his cheeks was punctuating everything. It was pretty awesome.

 

Cas reached between his legs, cupping his balls and dick over the panties as he rubbed them with tender strokes, relentlessly striking his prostate with the other hand. "Tell me when you're close."

 

Sadly, he was already pathetically close, which was more embarrassing than he wanted to admit. The thought of Cas totally degrading and punishing him had him teetering on the edge of orgasm better than anything ever had. In his entire life. Maybe it was the loss of control, maybe it was because it was his best friend. Whatever the reason, Dean was kind of regretting a lot of missed opportunities in that moment.

 

With a stuttered gasp, he finally breathed, “I’m close, Master.”

 

Cas suddenly stopped his ministrations, retracting his hands from his ass and his dick. "Good, you can hold onto my leg while I use the flogger on you. If you want to come, you have to do it while I punish you."

 

Dean shuddered, like his entire body was on fire. “Ma–May I touch myself?” 

 

"No, pet. You come untouched or not at all," Cas answered firmly, before Dean could feel the leather straps being dragged over his ass in a teasing manner.

 

He refrained from whining outright at the thought of possibly not getting to come. The last thing he wanted was for Cas to not want to be his Dom anymore because he was a terrible sub. Dean nodded and was trying to concentrate on his breathing. He was a mess with want and the prospect of not knowing just exactly what was about to happen, it was better than anything he’d ever felt. It was kind of right it was happening with Cas. He’d always been there for all of Dean’s self-reflective epiphanies.

 

When the first strike came, about the same force as he had used with his hand, the strange texture of the leather caused his cock to throb in appreciation.  _ Damn.  _ Dean was  _ definitely  _ a sub. Cas got into a good rhythm, the force of the strikes never changing, but shaking it up with the location. Right cheek. Left. Just above his thighs. Near his tailbone. Right in the center. Dean never knew where the paddle was going to land and that made it more pleasurable than painful. 

 

Dean’s need to come was bordering on desperation, he found himself rutting against the friction of the panties, trapping his cock between Dean’s groin and Cas’s thighs. 

 

“Ten slaps left, toy.” Cas’s voice was as smooth as honey. He spread Dean's ass cheeks and tenderly dragged the flogger over his rim, before he slapped him directly over his hole.

 

He couldn’t help the almost yelp that escaped, his voice ragged, broken, desperate. The stinging made way for a tingling that made his nerve endings pulse with the heat. Dean rutted against the material of his panties, canting his ass up for more punishment. Any more strikes like that and Dean would likely and easily come a second time.

 

The next two strikes hit him on his left and then his right cheek, before Cas teased his rim again, sliding the leather tenderly over his hole. He desperately wanted the next hit there again. 

 

Dean cried when his wish was heard. Cas spread his ass cheeks roughly and hit his hole hard, three times in a row. “Five strikes left and you’re already leaking all over my leg.”

 

“M–Master, please,” he begged. For what? Dean wasn’t sure.

 

Cas hummed and fingered his hole again. "Fuck, you look so delicious." He pushed his finger roughly into him again, finger fucking him hard and fast for a moment. Dean felt like he was going insane.

 

He let out a frustrated whine when Cas pulled out. The next strike hit his hole again and was harder than all of the ones before. “Four left, and they will all go here.”

 

He was half-tempted to ask if he could have his butt plug put in for the last four, but decided it was probably best to not upset his Dom more. Dean felt weirdly pleased with himself for thinking of Cas as his Dom in that moment. When another strike hit, he moaned outright and continued to rut against the material of his panties, taking any kind of friction he could get.

 

By the time the last strike came down, his cock throbbed with need, but he wasn’t able to come. He held in the whine of discomfort as he awaited instruction.

 

“I hope you’ve learned your lesson, pet.” Cas’s voice was firm, but his touch, the way he slid his fingertips over his abused skin, was shockingly tender. 

 

“I did, Master.” He was unable to prevent the whimper that escaped. The high of the spanking combined with his unattended arousal was making him a little nuts.

 

“Stand up,” Cas commanded firmly. “Let me look at you.”

 

With shaky legs, Dean managed to get in the correct standing position, his rock hard dick straining against his panties.

 

Cas leaned back on the bed, bracing himself on his hands while his eyes wandered over Dean’s body. "You made your panties dirty with all your come."

 

Dean nodded. “I’m sorry, sir. You make me so hard.”

 

Cas gave him an approving smile before he told him to kneel on the ground in the inspection position. "I'm going to come on your ass now."

 

Letting out a groan of appreciation, Dean got down in the inspection position. Hoping against hope Cas would tell him to get in examination position shortly after and fuck him again. Dean had never considered himself a cock-slut, but one afternoon with a Dom was fast making that a reality.

 

He could hear Cas opening the zipper of his pants and the sound of his heavy breathing when he started to jerk himself off behind him. "Go into the examination position,” Cas breathed out before he commanded, "show me your hole."

 

Praising a god he didn’t believe in, Dean hoped he didn’t look too eager as he pressed his forehead into the carpet again and spread his cheeks for his Dom.

 

He heard Cas humming behind him and felt the head of his cock teasing his rim. “I’m not going to fuck you if you’re hoping for that. I will paint your hole though.”

 

Dean let out an undignified whine and begged, “Please, Master?”

 

“Please what, pet?”

 

“Please can I have your cock? I'll do what it takes to earn it?” Dean loved and hated how easy it was for him to fall into this role. He wasn't begging Cas because he thought that would be what he wanted to hear. He actually fucking needed it.

 

“Since you asked so prettily, I’ll give you a chance to earn my cock,” Cas answered after a moment. Dean could hear him stand up and go to his drawer again. “I want you to lie down on my bed, on your back. Knees bent and spread.”

 

Dean didn't waste a second crawling onto Cas's bed. Sprawled out on his back he spread his legs, keeping his knees up and bent. A shiver of excitement coursed through him, causing his cock to throb in anticipation.

 

Cas showed him a black anal vibrator and turned it on to the highest setting, before he handed it to Dean. “Show me how you opened yourself up for me. I want you to massage your prostate with this and you're not allowed to come on this toy. Otherwise you won't get my cock and I will have to discipline you again.”

 

_ Fuck. _ Dean leaned forward and accepted the vibrator, nodding his understanding of the direction, not trusting himself to speak. He'd been pretty close from the spanking alone, it was going to be a bitch not coming on the toy. With a shaky inhale, Dean stayed in position and started teasing his hole with the toy, the vibrations already making his dick twitch.

 

When he slipped the toy inside, Dean moaned at the sensation, deciding if he fucked up, if he came, he was at least going to try and give his Dom a show. Dean started fucking himself onto the toy, moaning outright every time it hit his prostate. Heat was pooling in his groin, it wouldn't be long at the rate he was fucking himself. Dean started circling his hips, trying to mimic sex with a person, fisting his free hand in the sheets as he started to lose himself to sensation.

 

“That’s enough. Turn around,” Cas’s command sounded breathy, as though he was just as close as Dean.

 

Dean almost sobbed he was so grateful, taking out the toy and shutting it off, he quickly got on all fours. “Like this, Master?”

 

“Yes, perfect.” Cas moaned and pushed his cock into Dean without hesitation, instantly starting to fuck him hard and fast.

 

Moaning outright, Dean was completely lost to tingling of pleasure combined with a little bit of pain. He wasn't going to last, not with the brutal pace Cas was slamming into him. The intensity was making him breathless, his eyes watered, his body was shaking. It was perfect.

 

When Cas angled his hips to strike Dean’s prostate with every thrust, Dean whimpered as he came, shuddering against the waves of pleasure. 

 

Cas pulled out of him when his shuddering slowly subsided, followed shortly by the sensation of Cas coming all over his ass and his back as he emitted a loud moan. 

 

“Stay like this,” Cas breathed out, underlining his words with a tender hand pushing down on his back. Cas got up after a few moments, where he attempted to catch his breath before he left the room.

 

Not wanting to displease his Dom, Dean stayed like that, despite the way his legs were starting to shake.

 

After a few minutes, Cas came back and carefully cleaned up Dean’s back and ass. When he was done, he threw the damp towel to the ground and said, “Follow me.”

 

Dean did as instructed, feeling a little less tense now that he was utterly sated. Cas led them to his bathroom. Dean shuffled his feet, not really sure what to do with himself as his friend – his  _ Dom,  _ leaned over to start the shower.

 

Cas held his hand under the water for a moment before he turned to face Dean with a soft smile. He kneeled in front of him and slowly pulled down Dean's underwear and stockings, his fingers gently tracing the skin he revealed.

 

It caused a shiver to course through him. It was a little bit of a mindfuck, Cas being so gentle after being so rough. Dean didn’t really know what to make of it. Were they still Dom and sub? Or was this Cas again? He was almost terrified to ask, but he needed to know how he was supposed to proceed. “Master?”

 

“Yes, handsome?” Cas asked with a fond smile as he slowly freed Dean’s feet from the stockings.

 

_ Shit.  _ That wasn’t helping his confusion. “Are–are we Dean and Cas now or…”

 

Cas stood up and cupped his cheek. "What's around your neck?"

 

Dean’s hands instantly went to the collar, trying to not face palm himself at being so stupid. He chuckled mirthlessly at his idiocy. “Sorry, sir.”

 

Cas chuckled and started to undress himself. "The collar is there to help you, to remind you of your place. Come now. I want to wash my toy." Cas pulled him under the warm, soothing water with him. "If you feel a bit weak in your knees, you can put your arms around me and lean on me." 

 

Honestly, even if he wasn't feeling weak, he'd probably still take an opportunity to be close to Cas. Dean would never turn down a chance to be affectionate with him. Hell, before they crossed this line, they'd always been pretty affectionate.

 

Dean circled his arms around Cas's neck, really wishing kissing wasn't off the table. “Thank you, Master.”

 

Cas gave him another fond smile and gathered some body wash in his hand. It smelled of cedarwood. He softly rubbed and massaged it over Dean's back before he leaned backwards a little, before he started to wash his chest. He played with Dean's nipples, circling and rubbing his thumb over them, before he slid his hand down and carefully lathered up Dean's cock.

 

Despite being pretty spent, he still exhaled a breathy moan at the contact. 

 

Cas soothingly rubbed the back of Dean’s neck with his other hand when he reached between his legs, carefully washing his hole, balls, and inner thighs. He even pulled him closer to his body, humming a soft, "Relax, handsome," before he placed a soft kiss behind Dean's ear.

 

Dean turned his head at just the right time, their faces ridiculously close. In that moment he seriously contemplated violating the rules and just kissing his best friend. Whatever the punishment he’d receive, it would be worth it. He could take it.  _ Fuck it.  _ Dean pressed in closer when a hand at his chest halted his movement.

 

Cas shook his head. “Don’t.” His voice sounded hesitant, not firm like he had sounded before. “I  _ will  _ kiss you. But on my terms. Not yours.”

 

Nodding his understanding, he ducked his head, feeling pretty damn sheepish. Dean kept fucking up the arrangement. He half expected to get a Dear John letter by the end of the night. Or, whatever the Dom/sub equivilant of a Dear John letter would be.  _ Dear Cock-slut?  _ Whatever. Dean felt pretty damn foolish. “I’m sorry, sir.”

 

"Don't be," Cas breathed out and rubbed his thumb over Dean's lower lip. "I can't wait to taste your lips either. Brace yourself against the wall."

 

Doing as commanded, Dean braced his hands against the back wall of the shower, facing away from Cas, trying to not let the warmth of Cas’s words make him blush any damn harder than he probably already was.

 

Cas took a washcloth to softly wash the foam away from Dean's skin. He was incredibly gentle with him, especially in the areas that still burned from being spanked. When he was done, Cas turned off the water and left to grab a large towel. A towel he immediately wrapped Dean into before he guided him outside of the shower.

 

The tenderness of everything, the way Cas kept smiling at him, really was messing with his head. Dean was new to this whole thing, was this the norm? Seemed almost like Sybil level schizo shit. Maybe it was all a part of the tearing a sub down? False sense of security. Dean wanted to melt into the ministrations, but suddenly he felt on edge.

 

Cas stopped rubbing him dry for a moment, giving him a worried look. "Are you hurt? You're tensing up."

 

“N–No… I’m fine… uh, Master.” He hoped he sounded believable. He’d never been good at lying to Cas. Well, except about one thing. But that was more out of self-preservation than a need to deceive.

 

"Tell me what’s wrong," Cas reprimanded him, obviously not buying the lie. 

 

Dean sighed. “I'm just, uh… confused, I guess?”

 

Cas nodded with a smile. "Because I'm being gentle with you?" He intertwined their hands and pulled him out of the bathroom back to his bedroom.

 

“Yeah… I kind of don't know how I'm supposed to be.”

 

“Lay down on your stomach.” Cas nodded towards his bed. “I’ll explain in a moment.” 

 

While Dean followed Cas’s command, he watched him fetch some chocolate and oil from his nightstand. He handed Dean the chocolate with a smile. “Here, eat this.”

 

Never one to turn down candy, he stuffed a couple of pieces in his mouth, uncouth as ever asking with his mouth full, “Fattening me up?”

 

Cas chuckled. “No, just helping you with your endorphin levels. This is always the last part of a scene. It’s called aftercare. I will take care of your body, showing you my appreciation for it and what you are doing for me. It’s to prevent you from falling into a depressive state after a scene, when your serotonin levels suddenly drop from the high you had before.”

 

Dean realized he probably should have actually done some research before venturing into this whole thing. “So, now you’re gentle with me? Do I still call you master, or...” he tried to not wince at his own stupid questions.

 

Cas pulled slightly at Dean's collar and smiled. "Yes, you're still my little play thing." He carded his hand through Dean's hair and kissed his forehead. "Now lay down and relax. I’m going to give you a nice massage and take care of your ass. So it doesn't hurt too much tomorrow."

 

He nodded and got back onto the bed. Face down in one of Cas’s really soft pillows. Dean took a deep inhale, the case smelled like Cas’s cologne. He always liked that cologne. 

 

He already knew Cas had magic hands, but this... his hands massaging a nice smelling oil tenderly into his sore muscles... it was heaven. “Can you sleep over tonight? I want you to stay, sleep in my arms – just to be sure, because this is your first time.”

 

Dean nodded. “Mmhmm.” He was already starting to feel pretty sleepy, between their long day, and the way Cas was massaging every ache and pain out of his body, he was probably going to be stuck with a snoring Dean on his bed whether he invited it or not.

 

Cas chuckled lowly, before he made his way to Dean’s ass. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

It felt like he was rubbing something else on there, something that felt a bit colder.

 

“You’re the best, Cas,” he murmured against the pillow.

 

Cas pinched his ass. “Don’t forget your place, pet. Sleepiness is no excuse.”

 

Dean winced at himself as much as the pain of the pinch. “Sorry, Master.”

 

“I hope you will be more disciplined the next time we do this. I want to spend my time fucking you instead of having to spank your cute, little ass.”

 

He craned his neck to look back at Cas. “So… you wanna do this again? I didn’t totally fuck up?”

 

Cas gave him a sweet smile as he cupped his cheek a rubbed his thumb over it. “You did great for your first time.”

 

He’d deny it if anyone ever asked, but the praise warmed him as much as the shower Cas just gave him. Dean had always been the type to want to please the people he cared about and when he was successful, it validated him in a way nothing else ever could. Dean smiled and felt a surge of swelling in his heart. He was a damn lucky guy, to have a best friend and a Dom all in one. “May I… may I have a kiss now, Master?” He really wanted to feel his friend’s lips on his own before sleep consumed him.

 

For a moment Cas’s hand stopped massaging him and he feared he had fucked up again, before Cas whispered, “Turn around.”

 

Rolling onto his back, he looked up at Cas with a questioning gaze, slightly shaking his head to demonstrate his confusion.

 

Cas slid over him, his naked, warm body pressed against Dean’s as he looked at him, his mouth agape, carding his fingers through his hair. For a moment the only noise in the room was their breathing, before the bed sheet rustled and Cas wrapped his arms around him. Moving in harmony as they now lay on their sides, Dean's head resting on Cas's bicep. Cas’s other hand cupped Dean’s cheek, his thumb pressing against his chin to hold him in place as he slowly bent forward. 

 

They’d kissed before, they’d kissed dozens of times. Usually as a means of getting the other out of some sort of potential romantic situation (usually Cas), but it wasn’t like this was new for Dean. What  _ was  _ new was this felt more  _ real,  _ like this was potentially game changing, and he couldn’t help but succumb to it. He had hoped finally having sex with his best friend would quell the fire that was the tiny, infinitesimal crush he had on the guy. But at this point, what they’d just done; it pretty much felt like arson.

 

Cas’s lips ghosted over Dean’s for a moment, hesitant, before he pressed forward into a gentle kiss. A kiss that turned into a few more soft kisses, before Cas moaned and pushed his tongue into Dean's mouth.  _ Fuck.  _ Cas was a really good kisser. They may have kissed before, but they had never kissed like this. Like Dean was air and Cas was gasping for breath. Unable to stop himself, his hand found its way to the back of Cas’s neck, fingers tangling in his slightly damp hair.

 

Cas moaned into the kiss and pressed Dean down onto the bed, his fingers sliding from Dean's cheek, down to his throat, and around his collar. He could feel Cas hesitate again, a growl slipping from his mouth before he pulled away, breathing heavily. He shook his head, not looking at Dean. "I should let you sleep. You must be tired." 

 

_ Shit.  _ He must have fucked up. “Did–did I, uh… displease you?” Hopefully that was the right way to word it.

 

Cas gave him a pained look. “No, it’s me. I got carried away. Don’t worry, handsome.” He wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him closer, so Dean could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. Dean could feel Cas leaving a few kisses on top of his head, his fingers cradling the back of his neck in a soothing motion. “Sleep now. You’ve earned it… You did really good today.” 

 

Dean nodded against Cas’s shoulder, feeling a weird combination of contentment over the praise, and regret over his stupidity. Cas didn’t mix love with sex. Sex was sex for him, and here Dean was, trying to play house with his fucking Dom. Next time he’d be better, less clingy. If Cas could separate feelings from sex, then so could Dean. At least that’s what he kept trying to tell himself. He’d just blame the intensity of their scene on the fact that the last thing Dean thought about before sleep overtook was their kiss.


	5. Mama Said

**Chapter 5**

 

Cas woke up to a light snoring and he instantly smiled when he felt Dean’s hair tickle his nose. For a moment he thought yesterday had been a dream. A very long, very hot and awesome dream. But no, it actually happened. The proof of it currently sleeping in his arms, pressing his morning wood against his leg.

 

For a few moments, Cas pretended that he and Dean were in a real relationship. The relationship he had always dreamed about, but was never brave enough to pursue. At least he could be closer to Dean now... and fuck, now he was giving himself hope that their relationship could change through this.

 

One of the major reasons Cas never felt brave enough to open up towards Dean, had always been his kinky sex life. He couldn’t imagine that Dean would have wanted this, but now he had to reevaluate the situation. Dean  _ enjoyed  _ being dominated. He still couldn’t believe it.

 

And with that thought, doubt started to take root in his mind. What if Dean had just been curious and wanted to end this because he decided that being a sub wasn’t for him? Wouldn’t be the first time a sub changed their mind after the first scene.

 

He chewed on his lip, angry with himself for his fuck up before they had fallen asleep. Kissing Dean had been stupid. Even though Dean wanted it, Cas still had to be careful. Careful so Dean wouldn’t notice Cas’s incredibly  _ real  _ feelings for him.

 

He wondered how he should play it. He wanted to keep Dean as his sub and he wanted to be the best Dom he could ever hope for, so that Dean would never think of leaving him. Basically he wanted Dean to fall in love with him. Cas groaned at his own pathetic thoughts. He tensed up when he suddenly felt Dean stir against him.

 

A sleepy smile met him when Dean turned to look up at Cas. “Mornin’, sunshine.”

 

Cas mirrored the smile, carding his fingers through Dean’s sleep messy hair. Just one more minute in pretend la la land. 

 

“Good morning, Dean.” He let his hand slide to the collar. He had forgotten to remove it before they fell asleep. “Let me help you with this.”

 

“Shit.” He chuckled. “I must have been out for the count, didn't even bother me.”

 

Cas shook his head, slowly opening the buckle. “It’s my responsibility. Guess you really tired me out. Do you have any pain?” He put the collar on his night table before he looked back at Dean, who was still, more or less, cuddled against him. He hoped they could stay like this a while longer.

 

As if reading his mind, Dean wrapped his arm further around Cas’s torso and basically snuggled into him. “Ain’t going horseback riding any day soon, but other than that.”

 

Cas grinned as he leaned his head against Dean's hair, his arms loosely around Dean's back. "Good," he murmured. "So... first time as a sub... Did you like it? Think it's something for you?" His heart was beating so hard, he hoped Dean wouldn't notice. Although the odds of that were small considering his friend was practically sprawled against his chest.

 

“Dude…” Dean’s voice sounded almost dreamy. “I think I’ve been having sex wrong. Is it possible to be a man in his late thirties and only  _ just _ figure out you haven’t been doing it right?” He laughed before he added, “That’s almost worse than a forty year old virgin, I’m pretty sure.”

 

It felt like an elephant, that had made its home on his chest for the past several years, had now decided to get up and walk away. The relief he felt at hearing Dean say those words was massive. He tried to sound casual, even though in his mind he was happily jumping up and down like a gummibear, as he responded, “You’d be surprised how many people start to experiment with these things late in their lives. You’re not the exception.” 

 

Dean chuckled. “Well, there goes me feeling special.” He moved to sit up a little, looking down at Cas as he said, “Be honest. Was I the worst sub you’ve had? I kept fucking up.”

 

Cas had to laugh at that. “Oh, god,  _ no.  _ You actually were really good. Super sexy and submissive.” 

 

The man actually blushed at the compliment, before ducking his head. “I’ve, uh… always been kinda submissive in bed.”

 

Cas slowly shook his head. “I seriously did  _ not  _ expect that. You’re full of surprises. Thank fuck fate decided to intervene.” 

 

Dean quirked his brow. “You know, fate wouldn’t have had to if you’d told me about your secret identity years ago. Over twenty years, dude.”

 

Cas tilted his head and squinted his eyes at him. “First of all, I wasn’t always into the scene and I also had a learning curve as a Dom. I’m glad we didn’t do this when I was young and inexperienced. And second, hearing how you sometimes talked about that type of sex – for example, the thing with Benny last week... I thought you wouldn’t understand.”

 

Nodding in acquiescence, he shrugged. “I get it. I still think the vamp shit is weird, but… I don’t know, maybe I  _ was  _ closed minded. I’m kind of glad it piqued my interest though.”

 

“Me, too.” Cas grinned. “Very much so.” 

 

Dean groaned and moved himself off of Cas. “You gotta stop talkin’ like that, all growly and sexy. It’s fucking with me.”

 

Cas chuckled lowly, purposely dropping his voice down a few octaves as he asked, “Talking like what?”

 

Dean flicked his arm. “Dude. Not cool. Also, you should quit being a doctor and start being a phone sex operator.” He appeared contemplative for a moment before asking, “Do those still exist?”

 

Cas scrunched up his nose. “Phone sex operator? That's so nineties. Also you should stop lying here naked, with your beautiful morning–” Cas made an exaggerated, broken noise gesturing towards Dean’s crotch area before he hit Dean with a pillow, right in his face. “You started it, looking all sexy.”

 

“That’s it!” Dean challenged as he grabbed another pillow and smacked him square in the chest. Dean moved to his knees and waggled his eyebrows. With a small wave of his right hand, he craned his neck. “Bring it, bitch.”

 

Cas threw his pillow in Dean’s face, using the momentum to push him down on the bed with his weight before he could try to grab another pillow. Dean used the opportunity to buck his hips and flip their position, pushing a pillow in Cas’s face with a triumphant noise. Cas made a playful and exaggerated dying noise, spreading his arms across the bed in a surrendering gesture. “You deaded me. You deaded your poor best friend. I'm so dead I can't make you breakfast anymore.”

 

Dean smirked down at him, eyebrow quirked. “You know, for a deaded guy, you sure talk a lot.” He moved from Cas’s lap. “I’ll make breakfast.” Dean leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Cas’s cheek before winking at him and getting up from the bed. Not even bothering to put any clothes on, he asked as he stood by the door, “Waffles?”

 

“I'm still dead!”

 

He bent down and grabbed something before throwing it at Cas’s face and leaving the bedroom with a, “You’re getting waffles!”

 

When Cas pulled the projectile away from his face enough to see what it was, his cheeks reddened with the realization it was Dean’s panties.

 

“Okay, you really killed me now, Dean!” Cas yelled after him.

 

“Your fault they’re like that,” he yelled back.

 

Cas let himself fall back against the bed with a grin. “I know,” he whispered to himself, feeling quite proud.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

While there were logistics and potential dangers to cooking anything in the buff, Dean couldn’t bring himself to give a damn. He was thoroughly enjoying this new level of his relationship with Cas. Dean was just so damn grateful there hadn’t been any awkwardness between them. As much as he fucking loved having sex with Cas, if it made their friendship staggered, or stilted, he would have had to call it off.

 

Losing the camaraderie they had would have messed him up something fierce. While there were still things they would probably have to talk about, to work out; not to mention the difficulty he was having quelling his damn crush; Dean was happy that they could still be them.

 

Grabbing the milk and flour, Dean started making the waffles from scratch. He saw Cas had a box of Bisquick, but fuck that shit. Cas deserved a proper breakfast after last night.

 

Dean smiled fondly as he whisked the batter, the coffee already brewing. Cas’s Alexa playing Dean’s Pandora Zeppelin station, filling the empty spaces. He chuckled to himself when Cas bought the damn thing and had spent hours trying to figure it out. As payment for his help, Cas let him hook up his Pandora to it.

 

Dean grabbed a couple of mugs and plates while the waffle iron was heating up. “Hey, Cas, what are your plans for today?” he called out, wondering if the guy had fallen back asleep.

 

At the lack of response, Dean made his way back to the bedroom. The sight that met him made his heart stumble slightly. Cas was sprawled out, mouth hanging open, one of his legs dangling from the side of the bed. It almost looked like the guy had fallen asleep trying to get up.

 

Dean chuckled and quietly stepped into the room. “Cas?” he whispered, kind of hoping he wouldn’t wake up. Although, he honestly could have screamed his name, Cas would still sleep through it. Dude could sleep through an earthquake.

 

Crawling onto the bed, he slid up alongside Cas, chuckling at the soft snoring of his friend. Dean grinned down at him before he started frantically and playfully kissing and licking at Cas’s neck to wake him up. “Oh, Cas!” he sing-songed.

 

“Dean,” Cas moaned quietly, before he made a sound of protest and turned on his side, still sleeping.

 

_ Fuck it. _ He was going to try a different tactic. Dean lined up behind him, draping his leg over Cas’s hip, before raking his short fingernails down Cas’s side, hoping to tickle him awake.

 

It earned him a sinful, deep moan, but Cas seemed to still be asleep. The moaning wasn’t helping the situation, as the sound basically shot straight to Dean’s dick. It also didn't help that Cas rocked his ass against Dean’s cock.

 

Dean groaned. “Not fair, dude.” While the awkwardness was gone, Dean didn’t know where they were with this kind of stuff. Was sex on the table? Was it off? Only during a scene? The only person that could answer those questions was in la-la land canting his ass against Dean’s slowly hardening dick.

 

He needed to get ahold of himself. Dean moved away a little and gently shook Cas’s shoulder. “Cas? I have coffee for you.”

 

“Hmmm, what?” Cas groaned and blinked at Dean with one half open eye. “Fuck,” he murmured as he rubbed his hand over his face before he looked down at himself. 

 

“Breakfast first, then we can fuck,” Dean teased, but it was a half-hearted tease. If Cas bent him over the nearest surface in that moment, he wouldn’t say no.

 

“Ugh, I think you woke me from a sex dream.” Cas still sounded tired, with a mixture of frustration and grumpiness. “Breakfast or sex… You said something about coffee right?”

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, fresh pot, sleepyface.”  _ Fuck.  _ If Cas had chosen sex, he would have gladly gotten into the damn examination position. Although, maybe that was crossing a line, too.  _ Shit.  _ They were really going to need to talk about this. Dean pressed another kiss to the nape of Cas’s neck. “Come on. I’ll even feed you if you’re nice.”

 

Cas fished his boxer briefs from the ground and looked at them for a moment before he shook his head and dropped them again. “I'm always nice,” he finally responded before he followed Dean into the kitchen.

 

“Say that to my ass,” he said, wiggling it in front of Cas for good measure.

 

Cas pushed Dean against the table, his hand on Dean’s hips as he leaned over to his ear, growling, “I  _ can  _ be nice to your ass, but we both know you don't want that.”

 

The combination of Cas’s proximity and his sex voice was causing Dean’s heart to beat erratically. How the fuck was he even still capable of getting hard after last night? Dean affirmed, “No. I  _ definitely  _ don’t want that.”

 

Cas chuckled and kissed the back of his neck. “What did you make for breakfast? I think I need more energy to satisfy your cute, little ass.” He punctuated it by slapping it playfully before he went to the coffee pot.

 

_ Fuck.  _ His best friend was going to be the death of him, he fucking swore. Dean tried to compose himself before following Cas to the pot. He handed him one of the mugs he’d grabbed and proceeded to start making the waffles. “So, uh… what are your plans today?”

 

Cas shrugged noncommittally. “Spending time with you?”

 

Dean smiled. “Good. I was thinking we could go get our ridiculous tuxes.”

 

“Count me in.” Cas chuckled. “Oh man, baby blue really isn’t my color. I don't think it's anyone's color for that matter. Can I wear the orange one? I mean, I even own orange underwear and I'm a buddhist at heart...”

 

Not one to ever say no to Cas, Dean sighed. “Fine, you get to be Lloyd, and fuck you. You aren’t a Buddhist.” The first couple of waffles were done, he plated them and handed Cas the ones that looked a little nicer than his first batch. “Syrup? Or you gonna do your weird butter and jam thing?”

 

“Not weird. European,” Cas grumbled. “I need more coffee.”

 

“Sit, eat. I’ll get you more coffee.” Dean grabbed Cas’s mug, and proceeded to cover up the damn coffee with as much milk and sugar as the cup could contain. It was weird, they did this sort of shit with and for each other all the time, granted not usually in the nude, but there was a charged energy this morning. Dean wasn’t stupid, he knew it was because they had sex. After a twenty-odd year friendship, despite it not making things weird or awkward, he would have been stupid to assume everything would stay the same.

 

Dean handed Cas the mug of his sugar coffee, surprised to find his friend staring at him. Cas took the coffee with a deep sigh. “You should wear some of my boxershorts. I can't stop thinking about sex when I constantly see your sexy ass.”

 

Unable to stop the smirk from forming, he chuckled. “Maybe that’s what I want… You constantly thinking about sex.” Realizing he finally had a window, Dean decided to bite the bullet and ask the questions he’d been wanting to ask, “Cas? Is… I know during a scene it’s a given, but what about, you know… when we’re us? Is sex strictly for scenes?” He kind of hated how nervous he was to hear the response.

 

Cas choked on his coffee and needed a moment to stop coughing. He took in a deep breath and chewed his lower lip, the way he did when he was deep in thought. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to cross that line. I mean, it's not that I don’t want to, but I think it would have consequences for our friendship. I think having this clear line is what doesn't make this awkward. But we can always have some playtime when we both want it.”

 

Dean nodded, trying to not feel disappointed by the answer to his question. He should have known better, it’s not Cas’s fault Dean was harboring a crush the size of Willis Tower on the guy. Sex was sex and Dean needed to get with the program. “That makes sense. So, uh…  _ should  _ I put underwear on? Is this blurring a line? I mean, I’ll be perfectly honest, we’ve always been comfortable around each other. And now you know what it feels like to be inside me, I figured seeing me naked would be, like… a non-issue.”

 

Cas held up his hands. “It’s not. It seriously is not. But I had a sex dream, woke up with a boner, and am seriously horny. So, this…” He made an appreciative gesture towards Dean as he continued, “Is  _ not  _ helping, unless you want me to bend you over the next horizontal surface today.”

 

Dean’s brain was chanting a mantra over and over in his head:  _ don’t you do it, don’t fucking say it…  _ But apparently, as usual, Dean’s mouth wasn’t paying attention, “I’m game if you are. I could grab my collar if we want to stop a line from being crossed.” He had to refrain from groaning at himself, particularly for thinking with his damn dick.

 

Cas slowly stood and walked up to him. "It’s too early.” He gently cupped Dean’s cheek and said, “As much as I want to do this again, you need time to rest and heal. I wasn’t exactly gentle with you and I wouldn’t be now. I’ll just go take a nice, long shower.”

 

Doing his best to not outright pout, Dean nodded. “Sorry I keep pushing it.” He did actually feel bad. Mostly because at this point, it was bordering on pressuring Cas into something he didn’t want. Dean really needed to stop being a selfish dick.

 

"Don't be. Seriously." Cas grinned, rubbing his thumb over Dean's cheek. "I'm thrilled you want this, too. Makes me feel a little less like a perv who only thinks with his dick.”

 

He chuckled. “Well, you are. I mean,  _ clearly  _ I’m the innocent one here.”

 

Cas leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "So innocent... I think I’ll buy you some new panties… Ones that will accentuate this innocence."

 

“I swear to god, if they’re pink…” Dean half-heartedly threatened, feeling weirdly liberated at being able to not only discuss his secret “shameful” kink, but to embrace it.

 

“I was thinking more along the lines of white and angelic.” Cas grinned, caressing his hands down Dean’s sides before they came to rest on his hips.

 

Dean arched his brow. He was gonna show how angelic he could be. Leaning in closer, lips ghosting over the shell of Cas’s ear, he purposely moaned, gripping Cas’s biceps. He breathed out a needy, “Cas… I can still feel your cock. Fuck, you pounded my hole so fuckin’ good.”

 

Cas gasped and the grip on his hips tightened for a moment. Cas pulled him closer, humming into Dean's ear, "You wanna join me in the shower? I mean, just for water preserving reasons."

 

Yes. Yes he fucking did. But of course his mouth had to go off on a teasing spree, “Not to blur the lines?”  _ Fuck. Goddamnit, Winchester. Shoot yourself in the fucking dick, why don't you? _

 

Cas bit his lower lip, looking sheepish. “You’re right. Sorry, I should really stop thinking with my dick. I’ll just go and take care of the rebellious traitor down there.”

 

“Wait, Cas...” Dean halted his movement and sighed. “I'm just as guilty here. It's just… I really like having sex with you, so I'm not really thinking with my brain either.”

 

“How about a compromise? Remember when we were in college and we used to jerk off to porn next to each other? Wanna do that in the shower, that way we keep our hands to ourselves?”

 

Dean grinned and nodded. “I mean, it makes sense. Save the environment and shit, right?”

 

Cas mirrored the grin. “Exactly!” He grabbed Dean’s hand enthusiastically and practically dragged him towards the bathroom.

 

Unable to prevent the laugh that bubbled up out of him when they reached Cas’s bathroom, Dean happily admired the sight of his best friend bending over to turn the shower on. As they waited for the water to warm up, Dean grabbed Cas by the wrist and pushed him up against the counter and mumbled, “Not wearing a collar, so I’m not gonna ask,” before he pressed in and kissed Cas. 

 

A kiss that quickly turned heated when Cas moaned and licked into Dean's mouth, pushing him backwards against the bathroom door, rocking his hips against him. Dean couldn’t stop the groan, snaking his hand in Cas’s hair in a less than gentle grip as he got lost in his best friend’s sinfully skillful mouth.

 

That, of course, was when reality struck. Dean drew back, and when Cas followed, he held a hand at his chest to gently push him off. “Cas, man. If we don’t stop, I’m about to sit your ass down and ride you.”

 

Cas made a frustrated noise and leaned his forehead against Dean's for a moment to calm his breathing. "Sorry, but damn... you're irresistible."

 

He pulled back from Dean, breathing still heavy, before he dragged him into the shower.

 

All he could think about was wanting to slam Cas against the stall door and kiss him again, but that would have been dangerous. Not that water wasn’t okay lubrication, considering how damn stretched he was yesterday, it probably wouldn’t take much to get Cas in him again; but dangerous for his heart. Dean’s dick throbbed and he groaned when the hot water hit him. 

 

"Fuck," Cas cursed as he grabbed his own cock and started to pump it, leaning against the shower wall with a sinful expression, as his eyes raked over Dean's body and he licked over his lips. “Dean… tell me what you’re thinking about.”

 

Following Cas’s lead, he started pumping his own aching cock. “I’m thinking, uh… how easy it would… be to get your… uh, perfect fucking cock in my… ass. I’m still fucking… stretched,” he managed to pant out in between his moans. 

 

Cas closed his eyes and moaned. "Oh, fuck... So hard to hold back. All I want... is to fuck you... hard and fast... against this wall... and, uh... come all over you."

 

“Fuck…” Dean moaned out. “Fucking pound my ass, then shove me to my knees to come on my face.” He started stroking himself faster, secretly hoping Cas would lose it and make good on his fantasy.

 

He could see how hard Cas was biting down on his lip, groaning deeply as he quickened the pace on his dick. “I’m so close… Dean. So fucking close.”

 

“Tell me… uh, tell me your darkest… fantasy,” he pleaded, feeling as close to the edge as Cas. Dean braced his hand on the wall, close enough to almost touch him.

 

Cas closed the gap and wrapped his hand around Dean's before he intertwined their fingers, "Having you in my exam room... in the position I taught you… playing with you before I fuck you… when, at any point, someone could walk in." 

 

“Fuck!” Dean cried out as his orgasm struck, the thought of Cas wanting to fuck him in an exam room at the hospital.  _ Damn.  _ He’d always kind of had a doctor-patient fantasy, too. 

 

Cas gasped out when he came a moment later, shooting his load in the shower, where it got mixed with Dean's and the water on the ground. They were still holding each other’s hand when their heavy breathing slowly subsided.

 

Dean chuckled and, with his free hand, waved a finger at Cas. “C’mere.” This time their kiss was more chaste, more of a movement of gratitude and appreciation rather than sexual. When he drew back, he smiled. “You know, it's kind of funny we never fucked before yesterday.”

 

Cas nuzzled his face between Dean’s shoulder and throat, leaning against him and letting out a soft a chuckle. “Yes, very funny. Why the hell  _ didn’t  _ we?”

 

“Well, it's probably a good thing. You would have dumped my ass for being an emotional fuckwit, then who would cook me dinner?” While a part of him was saddened by the fact that there were so many missed opportunities, there was validity in what he said. He just hoped crossing this line wouldn't ruin what they had.

 

Cas pinched Dean's nose as he drew back. "Don't be stupid. You're not getting rid of me,  _ ever.  _ We're a package deal. You know that you're the most important person in my life."

 

Dean smiled. “Good. ‘Cause Winchesters are like glitter. You can't get rid of us.”

 

Cas burst into laughter, bracing his weight against Dean as he rested his forehead against Dean's shoulder. "I think that was the gayest thing you've ever said." 

 

Feigning a more effeminate voice, Dean snapped his fingers at Cas and said, “Oh, honey, you  _ know  _ that ain’t true.”

 

When Cas leaned back, still smiling as they suddenly got lost in each other’s eyes. The smile slowly slipped from Cas's face as he lifted his hand and rubbed his thumb over Dean's eyebrow. “Dean…” he breathed out quietly before he leaned over to kiss him gently.

 

Yeah, at this point, the fire started from Dean’s arson was on the verge of burning down an entire apartment building. Dean was fucked.

 

**…. :::: :::: …..**

 

Cas was totally fucked. On the car ride into the city he couldn’t stop throwing glances at Dean. He still couldn’t believe how much their relationship had changed in the last twenty four hours, but at the same time hadn’t. It even felt as though they’d grown closer, even though they always had a very tight relationship. There was no awkwardness between them, just their usual friendship with all of the banter and touches, but burning just below the surface was an incredible sexual tension. Cas felt like an excited teenager, every time Dean smiled at him, or when he thought back on their shared kisses. 

 

He knew he had to be careful. It was important that he not lose control of the situation. But as long as Dean was so willing, open, and obviously enjoying this new part of their lives, he was on board with it. 

 

Still, he had a responsibility as Dean’s Dom. Even if he wanted to have sex with Dean every day, he couldn’t allow that to happen as long as they adhered to their roles in their D/s scenes. The breaks between them were non-negotiable and needed so Dean wouldn’t suffer from drops, or injuries to his body. And sex of any other kind… Cas was sure that would really fuck up their friendship, because it would come too close to a real relationship and that wasn’t what Dean wanted. Dean wanted kinky sex and that was something Cas could give him.

 

When they arrived to the store to get their suits, they exchanged a huge grin. “I still get the orange one, right?”

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Fine, but only ‘cause your blue eyes would clash with the blue tux.” He held up his hand in Cas’s face, waving it a little, clearly excited. “That was gayer, right?”

 

“So much gayer,” he affirmed with a chuckle. “Wonder when you’ll start puking rainbows.”

 

“Get some tequila in me, then we’ll talk,” Dean quipped as he approached the front desk. He gave the young woman a charming smile and leaned forward to read her name tag. “Evie? My boyfriend and I are getting married in a few weeks, and we decided it was probably time to get the tuxes.”

 

Cas bit his lip and turned around so he could hide his laughter.  _ Of course  _ Dean was making a show out of it. That was one of the many parts he loved about his best friend. No matter what they did, it would never be boring with Dean. He wrapped his hands around Dean’s waist and grinned. “I'm so excited, babe. I know you have the best taste and I trust you will choose the most beautiful suits for us.” 

 

Dean bent down and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Of course I have the best taste, I chose you, didn’t I?” 

 

Cas purposely giggled like a schoolgirl and tried to hide his face behind his hand. 

 

Evie’s eyes lit up in her shared excitement for them. He almost felt bad for the poor girl and what they were about to unleash on her. “Oh, that’s wonderful! Congratulations! What are you looking for? Along the lines of the classic look? Or maybe something a little more modern?”

 

Dean winked at Cas and leaned over the desk. “Well, the thing is, we met at a throwback showing of Dumb and Dumber…” As Dean continued to explain their weirdly detailed and absolutely absurd meetcute, Cas was finding it difficult to keep a straight face as Evie’s expression went from excited, to confused, to downright horrified when Dean pulled out his phone to show her a picture of what the tuxedos looked like.

 

“We, uh… we actually  _ do  _ have those colors… but… You said it’s for your wedding?” The poor girl.

 

“Oh, yes, a very classy one actually. We even have a ride in a carriage set up, doves will be released, and there will be a string quartet… I'm so excited,” Cas gushed with a dreamy expression, biting the insides of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh. 

 

“I’m so lucky.” Dean sighed happily before cupping Cas’s face. “I love you, angel.” When he felt Dean’s lips pressed against his own, there were slight tremors from him using the kiss as a way to stifle his own laughter.

 

“I love you, too… honeybear.” Cas had to quickly press his face into Dean’s shoulder, his whole body was shaking with stifled laughter. 

 

“Awww, baby, you’re shaking with excitement! I can’t wait to marry you either!” Dean pulled him into a full body hug. 

 

Cas felt like he was dying of laughter, as he clawed his fingers into Dean’s back to pull him closer. “I'm the luckiest...” He tried to breathe when a laugh escaped his lips. “Man in the universe.”

 

“Don’t cry, baby, this is a happy time!” Dean pressed his lips to Cas’s ear and whispered, “We are  _ terrible  _ people.”

 

Cas nudged Dean’s cheek with his nose before he whispered back, “You started this.” 

 

Evie cleared her throat awkwardly, causing them to turn and look at her. She nodded for them to follow her as she stepped around the desk towards the back. “Let me take you to a fitting room and we’ll get the tuxes for you to try on.”

 

Dean held Cas back for a moment and let Evie have a little head start to whisper, “Should one of us be a bridezilla, or have we tortured her enough?”

 

“What does a bridezilla do?”

 

“I swear you're like my own Spock.” Dean chuckled fondly while cupping Cas's face. “I think maybe we'll cut her some slack.”

 

“That makes you my Captain Kirk,” Cas quipped with a grin before he leaned into Dean’s hand and kissed it. 

 

Dean grinned down at him, appearing genuinely pleased at not only, the correct use of a Star Trek reference, but the compliment as well. Cas may not always understand everything Dean was talking about, but when he did, he was always rewarded with that smile. 

 

When they reached the fitting room area, Evie was speaking with a young man, whose eyes almost bulged when he saw the “men in question” wanting Dumb and Dumber tuxes. He and Dean, in their appearance, had always kind of come across as good, neighborly, faceless, average-joe types. That’s why Dean liked messing with people, he liked making them think outside of their little boxes. 

 

Dean looped his arm over his shoulder and looked down at him. “I can’t wait to see the Chief’s face.”

 

“Bobby will probably just roll his eyes at us. He knows you too well.” Cas shrugged.

 

“True. So this is on him. He can’t blame anyone but himself for making me go to these things.”

 

Cas chuckled, giving Dean a probably very dopey look. “Well, the colors of our new suits certainly scream eye cancer. So I bet he won't force you to come to a gala again if this is how you look.”

 

Dean’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I fucking hope so.”

 

The young man who had disappeared into the back, returned a few minutes later, two brightly colored tuxedos draped over his arm. He was clearly hiding a snicker behind his free hand as he handed Evie the monstrosities.

 

Poor thing, she actually looked pained as she handed them the tuxedos. He wondered why they even had suits in those colors. “Here you are…”

 

Cas held his hands in front of his mouth, not only to hide his laughter, but to also feign a surprised look. “Oh, Dean! They are so beautiful. You have the  _ best  _ taste.”

 

Dean cupped his face again. “No, baby.  _ You’re  _ beautiful.”

 

Evie looked incredibly uncomfortable and made her exit. Dean laughed outright and turned around to start getting undressed, the powder blue tuxedo hung from a hook on the side wall next to a full length mirror. Dean, clad only in Cas’s boxers, unzipped the bag. Cas was a little mesmerized by it all. Not only seeing Dean half naked, but to see him in  _ his  _ clothes… 

 

Not that it was the first time they had worn each other’s clothes. Being almost the same size, they often shared shirts or even pants. Underwear was a first though. And especially the memory of  _ why  _ Dean was wearing Cas’s boxers… because they had made Dean’s underwear very,  _ very  _ dirty. Cas was hellbent on going shopping for Dean when he got the chance. Get him a few new pairs of panties for his collection as a surprise. Maybe even for their next play date, which couldn’t come soon enough. 

 

He quickly undressed, trying to think of anything other than Dean in panties, which was difficult with Dean bent over, before he slipped into the legs of the suit pants.

 

Cas inhaled sharply and turned away, looking at the orange counterpart of hideousness. Man, this suit was ugly, but he would do anything for Dean. Even wear an orange tuxedo.

 

While buttoning up the ruffled white shirt after having shrugged on the pants, which fit apart from being a tad long, he turned back when Dean barked out a,

 

“Am I sexy or what?” He stood there, palms open in display, the goofiest grin on his face. The suit actually fit him.

 

"How are you doing that?" he asked in total disbelief. "How can you still look sexy in that suit? It's not fair."

 

Dean gripped the lapels of the hideous jacket and waggled his eyebrows. “Right? Put the jacket on, I'm dying to see your Lloyd.”

 

Cas sighed deeply, feeling like the unsexiest man on the planet, but he put on the jacket. If it made Dean laugh, at least he could say it made him happy. He spread out his arms to show Dean his finished outfit. “Better?” 

 

The smile he gave Cas was breathtaking as he stepped closer, gently adjusting Cas's lapel. Suddenly his expression grew serious. “Promise me, Cas.”

 

Cas swallowed dryly. “What?” 

 

Dean smiled again. “Promise me: if we  _ ever  _ make one of those five year-back up plan-Julia Robert’s movie-marriage pacts, we get married in these.”

 

Cas bit his lip to stop his grin before he leaned over to Dean’s ear, dropping his voice. “Only if you wear sexy bridal underwear under it."

 

Dean let out a soft groan. “You're a fucking tease.”

 

Cas shrugged as he gave Dean a smug smile. “Gotta have something to look forward to on the wedding night. Five years is a long time.”

 

“So, thong, bikini, or hipster?” He arched his brow.

 

"Thong." Cas smiled a bit dreamily, trying to imagine Dean in that. "And a wedding garter."

 

Dean gripped Cas’s lapel and leaned in, lips a breath apart. “Play your cards right, I might even wear a corset.”

 

It was such a small gap between them, one that begged to be closed. Without thinking, Cas leaned forward, capturing Dean’s lips in a soft kiss. A soft kiss that quickly escalated like someone had poured cold water into hot oil. He pressed Dean against the wall behind them, deepening the kiss, his thoughts already wandering to places where he was stripping this blue suit off of Dean and–

 

“Um, excuse me?” Evie meekly interrupted, essentially dousing them both in proverbial cold water.

 

Dean chuckled, still leaning against the wall where Cas had pressed him. “Yeah, we’ll take ‘em.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean felt pretty damn good. The stars were kind of aligning and while it wasn’t exactly perfect, it was damn near close enough that he couldn’t complain. Cas was still his best friend, and now his Dom. As long as Dean kept his stupid ass feelings to himself, nothing could ruin it. 

 

After grabbing some stuff at the nearby deli, they found themselves back at Cas’s place, making dinner together before getting ready for their bad movie of the week night. 

 

Making a risotto dish Dean saw online, Cas was leaning against the counter, just watching him, while they continued to talk to each other like nothing had changed. It was both amazing and a little surreal. 

 

The only difference was they were both a little more openly affectionate with each other. Personal boundaries had never really been a thing of theirs, basically since they met. Dean and Cas had no qualms about affection, but it hadn’t really been so… charged before. Dean liked it. 

 

After putting the dish to a simmer on the stove, Dean moved to lean on the counter next to Cas, grabbing his beer to clink the bottlenecks together. “So, how many people do you think that poor chick has told about the weird gay couple getting married in the ugliest tuxes?”

 

"It will probably be an anecdote for years to come." Cas gave him a soft smile, one that reached his eyes and made them even bluer than usual.

 

“Glad to have been of service then.” It was a little strange, with the newfound affection, Dean found it difficult to refrain from kissing Cas. Again, nothing new, but the urge to do it was on another level now. Instead of doing what his body wanted, Dean ducked his gaze and focused on his beer. “So the dinner is this Friday, I figured we could meet up at my place to change and just take the L. I plan on being stupid drunk for this.”

 

“That sounds like a plan, although I probably won't drink too much. Not getting younger and I have plans for the weekend.”

 

“What plans?” Dean felt weirdly left out, hearing Cas talk about plans that didn’t include him. And that had never happened before. He almost wished he hadn’t asked, Dean was already fucking up the no emotion rule. 

 

Cas grinned, chucking his chin. “You don't have to work right?”

 

“Yeah, but only ‘cause I have to work my six straight to help cover Charlie’s vacation.” Dean suddenly felt excited. “What’re you thinkin’?”

 

“We could have another play date if you want,” Cas offered slowly.

 

Dean grinned and leaned into Cas a little bit. “Bet your ass I want.”

 

Cas’s grin widened as he hooked his fingers in the belt loop of Dean’s jeans and pulled him closer. “Good,” he practically growled in Dean’s ear.

 

His breath hitched, that voice would never  _ not  _ be a turn on. Dean looped his arms around Cas’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. “What’s our next playdate look like?”

 

“Depends. Can you tell me what you really liked about our last one?” Cas asked before he slowly pushed Dean against the counter, taking his beer from his hand and putting it on the surface next to him before he lifted Dean onto the counter.

 

Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’s waist, obliterating what little distance was left between them. It was getting a little difficult to think about what he really liked from their scene. What  _ didn’t  _ he like? Pressing his lips to Cas’s ear, he whispered, “I liked when you tied my hands. I was completely at your mercy.”

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him, kissing his shoulder before he leaned back. “Okay, then I will build up on that. I know a few bondage techniques that will make you  _ very  _ helpless. And you would have no way of freeing yourself. If you trust me enough, it could get very pleasurable for you."

 

His dick was already hard and twitched with anticipatory excitement. Dean groaned into Cas’s ear, “What–what are my instructions?”

 

“Just be clean, don’t prepare yourself. Oh, and don’t wear any fancy underwear. We won’t need that because you will only be wearing a few ropes when I’m done with you.” Cas gave him an almost predatory smile, before his hands wandered to Dean’s thigh, rubbing his right thumb over his leg.

 

Dean needed to be put out of his misery. Cas was killing him, he wanted nothing more than to rip his friend’s clothes off and fuck himself stupid on his cock. Before he could stop himself, his hand wandered down Cas’s chest, reaching the button of his jeans. Dean started unbuttoning them, while capturing Cas’s earlobe between his teeth. “Should I just  _ not  _ wear underwear?”

 

Cas gasped quietly before his breathing hitched and he leaned closer into Dean. “Yes, that would work...” His voice sounded breathless and just above a whisper.

 

He needed contact, so the moment he got Cas’s fly down halfway, Dean slipped his hand in the waistband of his underwear, gripping his erection. Dean’s lips found their way to Cas’s pulse point, tenderly biting into the sensitive flesh.

 

Cas groaned, his hands sliding up Dean’s thigh, pushing against his groin. “Dean… We… shouldn’t… oh, fuck… um…”

 

“Shouldn’t what?” Dean teased as he started stroking Cas’s dick a little faster.

 

Cas snaked one of his hands up to the back of Dean’s neck before he pulled him forward into a quick, rough kiss. “Collar… Dean… please,” Cas implored through a moan, his other hand roughly gripping Dean’s hip. 

 

Nodding against Cas’s lips, Dean murmured, “I’ll grab it.”

 

Without missing a beat, Cas pulled him down from the counter and into his arms, wrapping them around Dean’s waist and ass to carry him to the bedroom. He’d almost forgotten how strong Cas was. Dude didn’t look like much, but he was strong where it counted.

 

Cas laid him down on the bed and grabbed the collar from his nightstand, before he knelt over Dean on the bed and wrapped it a bit roughly around his throat. “Strip.”

 

With an almost frantic excitement, Dean clumsily yanked his t-shirt off, before he grabbed his jeans and started shuffling out of them while still sprawled out on the bed. Once completely naked he looked up at Cas. “And now, Master?”

 

“Turn around, on all fours,” Cas breathed out while he hastily pulled off his own shirt and jeans.

 

Dean was a little amazed at how easily he was growing to love being so damn submissive. Taking orders from Cas was as fucking hot as kissing him. He got on all fours, into the Inspection position.

 

He could hear Cas hum behind him before his hand tenderly stroked over his back and over his ass. Some rustling and the click of a tube being opened, he could feel Cas’s lubed up fingers circling his hole. “How are you feeling? Any pain when I do this?”

 

“A little, but nothing unbearable,” he answered honestly. Dean had been tempted to lie and say no, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do that. Any pain he felt was taking a backseat to the pleasure anyway.

 

“If that changes and it becomes too much for you, I want you to tell me immediately. Can you do that?” 

 

“My safeword, right?” Dean's voice was a little shaky, he'd never needed sex quite on this level before.

 

“Yes. Repeat your safeword for me, so I know you haven't forgotten it,” Cas commanded softly, soothingly sliding his fingers over his ass and back.

 

Dean arched into the touch and breathed out, “Dalmatian.”

 

Cas carded his fingers through his hair. “Very good. You’re doing so good, toy.” He dropped soft kisses on Dean’s back, murmuring, “Such a beautiful toy.” Cas slowly pushed his finger into him, his lips still ghosting over Dean’s back.

 

Dean moaned, the overly sensitive everything making Cas's finger feel like too much and not enough all at the same time. He'd been turned on since that morning, and despite jerking off in the shower, it was a relief to finally get some substantial fix to the overall pleasure.

 

Cas pulled his finger out of him suddenly and commanded with a breathy, “Turn around. Need to see your face when I fuck you.”

 

That was definitely something he was on board with. Dean moved to lay on his back, looking up at Cas, blue eyes almost black the way his pupils were dilated. Dean groaned softly, waves of excitement coursing through him.

 

Cas slowly pushed two fingers into him, scissoring him open, while he carefully watched Dean’s face.

 

Dean couldn't help but smirk at him. No matter how far they took this, Dean was always going to be safe in the hands of a doctor. Cas's natural inclination towards taking care of people would always rule out. Dean bucked into the pressure, loving the slight burn from being used so thoroughly the day before. He moaned freely, losing himself to pleasure.

 

His voice sounded rough from how heavy he was breathing when Cas asked, “Are you ready for one more finger, handsome?”

 

“Yes, Master, please,” he almost whined.

 

Cas was a bit rougher when he pushed a third finger in, thrusting them in and out, aiming for his prostate. His free hand slid over his stomach and chest, suddenly pinching Dean’s nipple, hard.

 

Dean cried out, the pain shooting a jolt of electricity to his dick. “Fuck,” he hissed as he arched up.

 

The pain was short lived when Cas soothingly rubbed his thumb over the area before he leaned over and licked the nub. He slowly pulled his finger out of Dean and leaned back to lube up his cock, moaning deeply and sinfully when he touched himself. He had closed his eyes in that moment, biting his lower lip. Dean felt a little breathless, seeing Cas like that. 

 

He was beautiful. Lip slightly askew the way his teeth were bearing down on it, the crinkling of his eyes, as he lined his cock up to Dean and sank in. Gripping Cas's biceps, Dean forced himself to keep his eyes open as Cas pushed in deeper. Unable to stop his moaning, he let loose, getting all the more aroused from the way Cas's lips quirked up ever so slightly every time Dean moaned. Cas may be his Dom, but in that moment Dean felt like he had all of the control.

 

A control that burned away like dry paper in a fireplace when Cas leaned down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss, licking into him like he was drowning.

 

Snaking his hands into Cas's hair, he held him in place, losing himself entirely to sensation. The way Cas's lips parted, making his ever dominating passion more open, inviting. Dean tapped his tongue playfully at the seam of Cas's lips, enjoying this slightly more give and take.

 

When Cas angled his hips to strike Dean’s prostate, he cried out against insistent lips, “Fuck… me…” It was more a nonsensical commentary as opposed to a request, but Cas quickened his pace either way.

 

Cas pulled him closer, one hand on the back of Dean’s neck, the other sliding between their bodies, gripping Dean’s dick, starting to pump it. He licked over Dean’s upper lip and drew back. “Open your mouth, stick out your tongue,” Cas breathed out in between gasps.

 

He could see Cas collecting saliva in his mouth before he let it drip, heading right for Dean’s tongue. “Swallow,” he commanded through the slight muffle from the angle of his tongue.

 

It was weirdly fucking erotic, Dean obeyed readily, letting the spit fall into his open mouth. It was hands down, one of the filthiest things he'd ever done, and that made it so much hotter than it had any right to be.

 

“Oh, fuck, I’m so close,” Cas gasped out, thrusting against Dean’s prostate, hard and fast, matching the strokes on Dean’s dick.

 

Dean didn't have time to warn Cas as he came over his hand, clenching around Cas’s cock. Gripping onto Cas's upper arms as he rode out his orgasm, moaning through a litany of unintelligible words.

 

“Dean… fuck, oh, fuck… Dean!” Cas gasped loudly, thrusting into him hard and deep a few more times before he came inside of him.

 

Before Dean could question why Cas called him by his name, their post orgasm haze was disturbed by a smoke alarm. Cas's smoke alarm. They both looked at each other in shock. “Shit! Your stove!”

 

Darting up on slightly shaky legs, Dean and Cas made it to the kitchen. The pot with the risotto was emitting clouds of black smoke. Despite being collared, butt ass naked, with his best friend’s come dripping out of him; Dean still managed to get into firefighter mode. 

 

Removing the pot and shutting off the stove, he grabbed a kitchen towel and soaked it in water before placing it over the pot. Cas opened a window, trying to air out as much of the smoke as he could.

 

Once the pot stopped smoking, Dean leaned against the counter to compose himself. He had to shake his head at himself. “Holy shit. I'm the worst firefighter  _ ever.  _ Can't fucking  _ believe  _ we abandoned a hot stove.” He scrubbed his hand over his face.

 

“Well, you already had something hotter to extinguish. I’ll try to take it as a compliment,” Cas sassed, clearly trying to lighten the mood as he looked up at the still beeping alarm from the smoke detector. “Can you make that stop?”

 

Dean smiled and nodded, he moved to hop up on the counter, and reset Cas's smoke alarm. He'd kind of forgotten he was naked until he caught Cas's appreciative stare. “You know, we don't usually make nude house calls.” Dean winked as he moved to jump down.

 

“Which is a good thing,” Cas said as he gave him his hand to help him down. “If I knew you made those sort of house calls, I would set fire to my apartment on purpose.”

 

“Can't have that, can we?” Dean smiled as they ended up almost colliding with his hop down.

 

Cas dragged his fingers up Dean’s inner thigh and through his come. “Since this fire is successfully averted, how about a nice shower so I can clean you up? And then I can order a pizza?”

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I don't think that dinner is salvageable.” He stepped in closer, lips quirked. “Thank you, Master.”

 

Cas bit his lip, giving him a pained look before he shook his head and turned around, grabbing his hand. “Come on, pet. You need to lick my cock clean, before the shower.”

 

Dean grinned and answered, “Yes, sir.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

_ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  _ It was an inner mantra Cas had forced himself to listen to for over thirty minutes now. He had called Dean by his name instead of addressing him as his sub. And Dean had reminded him of this mistake when he had called him ‘master’ again. It was such a newbie mistake, he really felt ashamed of himself. He threw Dean, who was devouring his pizza, a few hesitant glances, before he cleared his throat. “I'm sorry. I fucked up.”

 

Dean looked confused for a moment. “No you didn't. I  _ like  _ bacon on pizza.”

 

“That’s not what I meant, Dean. I’ve known how you like your pizza since high school.” Cas pulled his legs under his knees and leaned back against the couch. “I said your name during the scene. Which is very embarrassing because I haven't made such a newbie mistake in over ten years. I'm sorry.”

 

Dean still looked confused, he wiped his hands on a napkin and turned to face Cas. “Look, I'm sure I wasn't helping. The move I pulled on you in the kitchen. Fuck, we've only just started and we're blurring the lines. I know we should probably stop, but I don't want to. What can we do?”

 

Cas sighed deeply and closed his eyes as he rested his head against the back of the couch. It was a fucking good question. At least Dean was equally wishing not to put a stop to their sexual encounters. “I really don't know. So far it doesn’t seem to affect our friendship in any negative way… I even got the impression it brought us closer. And I don’t mean ‘closer’ in the obvious way, but… I don’t know… just even more comfortable with each other, even more than before.” Cas rubbed his hands over his face, hating himself for being so ineloquent. “I don’t want to stop either, but I still think we should try to play by the rules… even if it's hard sometimes. What do you think?”

 

“When I said I don't want to stop, that's kind of what I mean. I'm not saying I wanna scene twenty four-seven, but it's kinda hard when we talk about sex and then don't get to do it. I'll play by whatever rules you want, but fuck, Cas. I don't know if I can promise to not pull something like that again.” Dean looked like he felt a little helpless, clearly having no idea how to proceed. “I mean, what do you usually do with your subs to differentiate…”

 

At that moment it looked as though a lightbulb turned on in Dean’s brain. “Hannah was your sub.” It wasn't a question, more of a stated realization.

 

“Yes?” Cas asked slowly, not understanding what Dean was saying. 

 

“You guys were friends, too, right? So what did you do with him-her… them? Like how did you make shit  _ not  _ weird?”

 

“My relationship with Hannah was very different. We are friends, yes… but we didn't see each other as often as you and I do outside of a scene. And…” Cas rubbed his hand over his face. “I – I mean… Hannah was great, they were really amazing… but I didn't feel like I wanted to jump their bones all the time.”

 

Dean had a slight smirk on his face, but his tone was sober and slightly unsure. “So, what do we do, then? Do we need to set more strict rules, or…” He sighed and ruffled his hair. “Shit, this would be easier if you were just terrible in bed.”

 

Cas chuckled lowly. “Or if you stopped looking so damn sexy all the time. Okay how about we try not to talk about sex related things in our downtime? And I don’t know… masturbate before we see each other? I have no idea if that would work… I mean, this is hot and exciting, and we both know how fantastic we can make each other feel. It's hard to ignore that, when it feels so damn addictive.”

 

Appearing hesitant, Dean fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt, keeping his eyes downcast before some sort of resolve appeared to overtake. He looked at Cas then, expression serious as he asked, “And kissing?”

 

Cas swallowed dryly.  _ Fuck.  _ The problem was that he wanted to kiss Dean all the time. Everytime he kissed Dean, it felt like he was showing his emotions, heart displayed prominently on his sleeve for everyone to see. He wanted to keep kissing Dean, but he had to make this sacrifice for their friendship. He shook his head. “I think kissing should be limited to the aftercare time and scenes. I’ll be honest, Dean… I just don't know how to stop kissing you once we've started.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Well, I guess we have to stop pretending to be each other’s husbands or boyfriends, or whatever to get people to back off.”

 

“Fuck, I really liked doing that.” Cas put on his best puppy look. “I can behave in public. I mean, I could still kiss you and not bend you over the next horizontal surface if people are around us.”

 

“You sure about that? My ass is pretty damn sexy, you said so yourself,” he teased, eyebrow arched in smug challenge.

 

“Yeah, but would you get hard with Bobby Singer, or your brother, standing in front of you?” Cas teased back, waiting for Dean to eat his last slice of pizza so he could finally pull him into his arms. He still considered this as aftercare time, even if a tiny voice in his head was calling him out on using cheap excuses. A voice he chose to ignore.

 

“Oh, god, I may never get hard again after that imagery.” Dean groaned, pushing his plate away. He moved to lean back against the couch. “Okay, so no sex talk unless we’re in a scene, and we need to try and contain ourselves when alone. I think we can do it.” He didn’t sound all that convinced.

 

“C’mere.” Cas pulled him over, into his arms, so Dean could rest his head against his shoulder. “We could have an additional rule. If we notice the sexual tension between us getting to be too much, we schedule an additional scene. Those won't be as hard as the other ones, just to take the edge off. Do you think that could work? So, everytime you think you really want me, just come and tell me and we do that?" Cas carded his fingers through Dean’s hair, hoping he would like the idea.

 

“Thought you didn’t do twenty four-seven scenes,” he sassed.

 

Cas chuckled lightly. “That’s hardly the same. But if you want to be my twenty four-seven fucktoy, you need to get used to cooking for me just wearing an apron, only taking breaks so I can fuck you on the kitchen table. Also, you would  _ have  _ to live with me.”

 

“As much fun as being a sex slave sounds, I would have to go to work at some point… maybe see my family once in awhile… see sunlight… that sort of thing.” Dean moved to cuddle into Cas’s side. “So, how did you keep feelings out with your other… relationships? Do they count as relationships?”

 

"I guess it's a kind of relationship, but there are no feelings involved. I mean, not in the traditional way." Cas wrapped his arms around him more tightly. "Remember when you broke up with Lisa? Stupid question, of course you do..."

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, pretty sure you saved me from alcohol poisoning.”

 

"I had a scheduled scene with someone that weekend and I dropped everything to be with you, to help you through the break-up." Cas kissed the top of Dean's head. "You were and will always be more important to me than those sex relationships I had before. That's why I can't compare what we have to them. It's different now."

 

Dean was quiet for a few minutes, tracing a pattern on Cas's knee, before finally asking, “And what do we do if one of us finds someone we're interested in romantically?” His voice was quiet, especially for Dean.

 

“Then I have to let you go,” Cas answered equally quiet.

 

With a sigh, Dean draped his arm over Cas’s stomach. “Only sexually though. If you think for one second, as your best friend, I don’t get to threaten whoever actually manages to make you fall in love, you’ve got another thing comin’...”

 

Cas chuckled lowly, nuzzling his nose into Dean's hair. "You’re never going to lose me as your best friend. That would be like telling the sky to stop being blue, not possible." He couldn't tell Dean that he wouldn't be the one who’d fall in love with someone else. It came too close to the truth.

 

“Good,” he affirmed and moved to sit up a little, turning to face Cas. “You really canceled a scene for me when Lisa bailed?”

 

Cas grinned a little. “Had it all set up, chains and all. Dropped it and canceled the moment you called. Man, my date was seriously pissed at me.”

 

Dean smiled, one of his rare, soft smiles; Cas called it his koala face. Almost as though Dean was looking at something awe inspiring and magical. It was always amazing when that smile was directed at him. “You know I would have understood since you already had plans.”

 

"I know you would have, but you needed me. And you always come first for me. I couldn't have enjoyed that date anyway, knowing you were upset." Another reason was that Cas had felt guilty that day for not being sorry at all that Dean and her had split up. They had been pretty serious and more than once Cas thought she would be the girl Dean would settle down with.

 

“That goes both ways. If I had to choose between saving the world and saving you, I’d let the world burn.” He grinned.

 

Cas pulled Dean onto his lap with a smile. "I bet Bobby would fire you if you let the world burn. You're a bad, bad firefighter."

 

“I’m  _ your  _ bad, bad firefighter,” Dean corrected as he tapped Cas’s nose with his finger, eyes twinkling in amusement.

 

Cas's grin widened as he grabbed Dean's hips and pulled him closer. "I think I should write that somewhere on your skin. Something like, 'property of Dr. Castiel Novak'."

 

Dean laughed and sat up, moving to angle his left hip at Cas, tugging down his jeans and showing the top part of his left ass cheek. “I’m thinkin’ here, what do you think?”

 

Cas reached for a ballpoint pen from the table next to the couch before he pulled Dean's jeans a bit lower, kneading his ass in the process. "Yes, that's perfect. Lean forward."

 

Without realizing what he was doing, Dean tugged his jeans even further down and sprawled himself across Cas’s lap, the exact position from his flogging the day before.

 

Cas felt himself grow hard at the sight. Dean was going to be the death of him. He let his fingers ghost over the warm skin of Dean's beautiful ass, teasing along the crack with his fingers before he splayed his hand over the right cheek so he could write on the skin.

 

He took his time writing the letters, blowing on the ink when he was done, so it would dry faster.

 

Dean craned his neck to try and get a look at the writing. He chuckled and turned to look up at Cas. “You know, considering the nature of our, uh… sex life, this is kind of ironic.”

 

Cas quirked his eyebrow. “Yes? How so?”

 

“Considering I’m your toy, or pet, or whatever else you call me. Now I’m officially your property. Ironic.” Dean appeared contemplative for a moment and continued, “Am I not using that right? My understanding of the word comes from Alanis Morrisette, so…”

 

Cas hummed, still being thoroughly distracted by Dean’s naked ass.

 

“Dude! Are you even listening to me?”

 

“What?” Cas asked, confused. “I’m listening. I’m not  _ at all  _ distracted by your sexy ass. What did you say again?”

 

Dean rolled his eyes and moved to straddle Cas's lap. “Gimme the pen.”

 

Cas blinked at Dean and handed him the pen without thinking. “What?”

 

Grabbing Cas's forearm, Dean wrote, “bad listener.” He grabbed the other arm and wrote, “good kisser”, then he moved to lift Cas's shirt up. Dean’s tongue was poking out in concentration as he started to write something just underneath Cas's tattoo.

 

Dean grinned. “There.”

 

Cas tried to see what Dean had written on him, but he couldn’t see it. “What did you write?” he asked with a chuckle.

 

“‘Dean Winchester’s, don't touch’.” He smirked.

 

“That makes me your property, too, I guess?” Cas grinned as he took the pen from Dean, before he pushed up Dean’s shirt. He wrote, "dibs" next to Dean's right nipple, while he rubbed his thumb over it, and, "finder's keepers" under the left one.

 

Dean looked down and laughed. “Are you five?”

 

Cas pouted. "It needed to be said."

 

Taking the pen from Cas's hand he grinned and moved in close, gripping his chin as he wrote on Cas's bottom lip. “Now we’re even.”

 

“Did you draw a cock on my lip?” Cas asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Damnit, that’s what I should have done.” He grabbed his cell phone from the coffee table and pulled up his camera, put it on selfie mode, and handed it to Cas.

 

His bottom lip said, “Mine.”

 

“Are you sure you’re not one of those seagulls from Finding Nemo?”

 

“No, but I  _ can  _ speak whale… Maybe I’m Dory.” He winked.


	6. My Eyes

**Chapter 6**

 

For the first time since he could remember, Dean was actually excited to go to one of these stupid fundraiser dinner things. Bobby was always making them do stupid shit like that to help with funds, and Dean had been progressively pulling weirder and weirder shit to get his “privileges” revoked. All it took to get Charlie banned was her going into excessive detail about her damn LARPing to the mayor. He should have been at her side, telling the mayor he was Charlie’s handmaiden. Why hadn’t he thought about that?

 

Dean looked at himself in the ridiculous baby blue tux and smirked. If this didn’t get him banned from these asinine functions, nothing would. 

 

When he heard Cas let himself in, Dean walked out into the living room. The image of Cas in the ridiculous tux, that was only a tiny bit too big, caused him to laugh outright. “Oh, man, Cas. That is  _ amazing.” _

 

“You should have seen the looks people gave me on my way here,” Cas said as he walked up to Dean and pulled him into a hug, kissing his cheek before he leaned back. “How do you manage to still look hot in this? It shouldn’t be possible.”

 

“Confidence, and about six shots of whiskey,” he teased, before he remembered something. Dean darted to his bedroom and reappeared a minute later holding the gifts he got them both. Matching top hats and canes for their tuxes. “Tell me how awesome I am.”

 

“Scaringly awesome. Where did you even get those… or, the even better question is, who made those and thought it was a good idea?”

 

“Don’t care, either way I pledge my undying gratitude to them.” Dean grabbed his bottle of whiskey and held it out to Cas. “Want some liquid courage before we get on the L?”

 

“Oh, yes, please.” Cas grinned. “I still can’t believe we’re doing this. Bobby will kill us, right? Or he’ll kill me, because he’s already used to this from you. I can already see him, telling me that I’m an ‘idjit’ and how disappointed he is in me, because I’m supposed to be the responsible one in our relationship.”

 

Handing Cas the bottle of Jack, he grinned. “Technically, he can’t do anything to you, you’re my date. Not an employee. And fuck you, I’m plenty responsible.”

 

“I didn’t say you weren’t, it’s just what Bobby always says to me when I see him. Didn’t you know that?”

 

Dean was going to deck Bobby in his face. The hell was he doing reporting how Dean behaved to Cas? “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m taking you as my date, ‘cause apparently Bobby thinks you’re my goddamn wife.”

 

“Husband.” Cas cleared his throat and looked away for a moment. “Are you ready?”

 

Putting on the top hat and grabbing the cane, he grinned as he tipped the hat to Cas. “I am. How about you, husband?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be, handsome.” Cas smiled and offered him his arm.

 

Dean quirked his brow at Cas as he took the proffered limb. “Thought scene talk was off-limits?”

 

Cas gave him a confused look. “Scene talk?”

 

“You called me ‘handsome’,  _ Master,”  _ Dean punctuated the word, hoping that would be clarification enough. 

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. “Does it trigger you in any way, when I call you handsome? Because I never intended that as a 'scene word'."

 

“Oh,” Dean mumbled. He kind of assumed it was a scene thing. He laughed at his own idiocy and shook his head. “No, it doesn’t trigger me. Apparently, I’m an idiot. Good thing I’m pretty…”

 

"When I call you pet or toy, or something else derogatory,  _ that  _ is a scene word. I like to say nice things when you do well, like 'handsome'. So it's understandable you got confused." Cas grabbed his chin, rubbing his thumb over Dean’s lower lip. "I don't want you to feel stupid, because you aren't. If you have questions, please ask."

 

Dean smiled, pressing a kiss to Cas’s thumb. “I will. I promise. Now let’s go cause people to stare at us.”

 

“Dean, I’m not trying to ruin your view of the world, but people stare at you all the time.”

 

“See, you  _ say  _ that, and then people run into me ‘cause they weren’t paying attention and I’m big enough to fucking see.” 

 

“But that only happens when I walk beside you. Because then people are obviously distracted by looking at me,” Cas teased him, his hands grabbing Dean’s hips.

 

Dean quirked his brow, taking advantage of their slight height difference to bear down on him. “Cocky much?”

 

Cas leaned over to Dean’s ear, his tone low as he murmured, “With good reason.”

 

He couldn’t stop the groan that escaped. “You need to stop using your sex voice. It gives you an unfair advantage.”

 

Cas gave him a surprised look. “That really works on you, huh?”

 

Dean gave him an unamused look. “Don't play innocent. You  _ know  _ it does.”

 

His friend looked sheepish all of a sudden. “Oh, um... sorry. I’ll try to hold back on that then.”

 

“Don't you fucking dare.”

 

Cas shook his head slowly before he chuckled. “Mixed signals, Dean.”

 

“Gotta keep you on your toes.” Dean gave him a cheesy smile. 

 

Cas chuckled and winked at him before he turned around, leaving Dean’s apartment. Thankfully, the walk to the L station was relatively uneventful. A few double takes, and a couple of people who just started laughing, so Dean was feeling pretty cocky. The fundraiser was being held at some fancy art gallery in Lincoln Park. Floating something or other. He was excited to make a fuck ton of rich people incredibly uncomfortable.

 

At some point Cas had taken his hand, intertwining their fingers and rubbing his thumb over his hand. Dean wasn’t sure if Cas was doing it subconsciously, or if he was doing it on purpose.

 

Either way, he was in no hurry to give the guy his hand back.

 

Because it was five in the evening, the brown line to Armitage was pretty packed with travelers, so much so that they had to stand. Dean was able to grab one of the hanging straps, circling his free hand around Cas's waist to help keep him steady.

 

The looks they got for their outfits were mostly amused, or confused, but when Dean pulled that move, he got a very disapproving scowl and scoff of disgust from the lady sitting next to where they were standing. Dean leaned down and kissed Cas's neck, before giving her a challenging smirk. She rolled her eyes and turned away from them.

 

Cas obviously hadn't noticed the exchange when he turned his head to give Dean a questioning look. A soft smile played around his lips, as he whispered in Dean’s ear, “Are you trying to get my attention?”

 

Dean grinned and quite purposely answered loud enough for the snobby homophobe to hear, “Baby, I love you, but even  _ my  _ ass needs a rest sometimes.”

 

The woman made a disgusted noise and moved to vacate her seat. Dean gave her an exaggerated wave before turning to a very pregnant woman who was standing next to them. “Oh, look! A seat just cleared for you.”

 

The woman gave Dean a grateful smile and thanked him before taking the seat.

 

When he looked back at Cas, his friend was just smiling at him. 

 

 

 

“What?”

 

Cas cupped his face, kissing his forehead. “Nothing. Just got reminded that my best friend is the most amazing person in the universe.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Then  _ your  _ name must be Dean Winchester.”

 

Cas nudged Dean’s nose with his own as he chuckled and pulled him closer so he could whisper in his ear, “Sorry for being distracted a few minutes ago. I was thinking about your fantasy and how I’m going to fulfill it in the near future.”

 

His eyes widened and dick instantly paid attention. Dean had to refrain from groaning outright at the thought. “You’re a fucking dick.” Cas was purposely teasing him and the joke was on him, because Dean wasn’t above shoving the man into the corner of their train and dropping to his knees to suck him off. Train full of passengers or not.

 

Cas chuckled lowly. “You’re welcome.” 

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

“You’re an idjit. I thought you were the responsible one in your relationship,” Bobby greeted them, before Cas gave Dean a pointed look that said: ‘I told you so’.

 

It was met with a grin as Dean shrugged at Bobby. “Am I banned from these things yet?”

 

“No, son. And as your punishment, you get to be the first to go talk with some potential donors.” Bobby gave him a falsely pleasant smile before turning away from them, hiding a snicker behind his hand.

 

“So much for your plan, Dean.” Cas sighed. “But I’ll have your back.”

 

“Night’s still young,” he challenged with a smirk and offered his elbow. “Come on, husband. Let’s go annoy the elite.”

 

Cas hooked his arm with Dean’s, smiling at him. He tried to ignore the way his heart stumbled when Dean called him husband again. He loved pretending to be married to Dean, mostly because he liked to pretend this himself. “Who do you have in mind? How about the smarmy guy in the Armani suit?” 

 

Dean’s eyes lit up. “Good choice! Let’s make him squirm.” He grabbed Cas by the slightly too long sleeve of his tuxedo and practically dragged him towards the guy. But not before grabbing a couple of drinks off of a tray from a waiter, Dean downing almost all of his glass of champagne in one gulp. 

 

Dean, being his usual, friendly and confident self, extended a hand towards their first victim of the night. “Thanks for comin’ to our shindig, I’m Dean. One of the firefighters for Engine Company Forty-five.”

 

The man appeared a little taken aback at first, regarding him with a sort of shock at his and Cas’s appearance. The way his eyes raked over both of them, almost beetling from how narrow they became, he hesitantly took Dean’s hand. “Gordon Walker. Walker Enterprises.”

 

Completely ignoring the stilted tone of the man, Dean smiled. “And this is my husband, Dr. Novak.” At the mention of the title ‘doctor’, the man appeared to relax a little.

 

Cas shook the man’s hand with a put on smile. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Walker.”

 

“Doctor? What are you a doctor of?” he asked, having completely forgotten Dean existed.

 

“I'm a medical director at Mercy.” Cas pulled his hand away slowly, being a little creeped out by the guy shaking his hand for too long. 

 

“Then you must know Naomi Tapping? The CNO for your hospital?”

 

Cas couldn’t stop himself from cringing at the mention of her name. There weren’t a lot of people Cas didn’t like, but Naomi was somewhere near the top of that list. “Yes, I know her,” he said carefully, trying to see where this conversation was headed.

 

“She’s a good friend. I’ve actually made a two million dollar donation to your hospital since her hiring.” His grin was particularly smug, as though he were waiting for Dean and Cas to fawn all over his generosity.

 

Dean looped his arm over Cas’s shoulder, smile still in place. “You know Nay-Nay? She as much a bitch to her friends as she is to everyone else?”

 

Cas had to bite his lower lip hard to stop himself from laughing out loud. He hoped Dean wouldn’t notice the sappy smile he was giving him when he thought how much he was in love with his best friend in that moment.

 

Gordon quirked his brow at Dean in distaste, before turning back to address Cas. “So, what made you want to marry  _ someone  _ in such a dangerous field?” The question implied a general curiosity, but the way it dripped off of his tongue, Cas could tell what he was actually asking: ‘why did you marry  _ this  _ guy’?

 

Cas raised an eyebrow, starting to get annoyed by the man. “You mean, apart from the fact that he’s a hero, and the bravest and kindest man I know? And apart from the way he’s funny, intelligent, and looks hot as hell in a firefighter uniform? Let me think..." Cas rubbed his chin contemplatively. "Apart from all those obvious reasons, I guess I married him because he’s epic in bed."

 

To further his annoyance with the man, Gordon barely batted an eyelash at Cas’s crude comment. “You know, I find it fascinating when men in masculine occupations are so inclined…” He took a sip of his wine and asked, “So, which of you is the, uh… woman in the relationship? I can make my assumptions–”

 

Dean leaned forward and interrupted, “Hold on, what do you mean you can, ‘make your assumptions’?”

 

Gordon waved a hand at him casually. “Well,  _ clearly,  _ Dr. Novak is more polite, far more delicate in such company, well-mannered…”

 

Dean scoffed, rubbing his index finger over his eyebrow. “So, let me get this straight… You’re assuming that my husband is the ‘woman’ in our relationship because he’s less crass or less manly than I am?”

 

The man simply nodded.

 

The smirk on Dean’s face meant trouble. He wasn’t about to hold back. “Well, let me enlighten you. None of this man is womanly, not that there’s anything  _ wrong  _ with that, but dude’s packing ten inches and boy does he know how to use it. He fucks like a champ. My asshole is  _ still  _ sore from the way he bent me over his desk last night and fucked me like a bitch in heat–”

 

“Winchester!” Bobby called out from across the room. 

 

Dean’s voice had rapidly gotten louder, likely intentionally, and everyone in the room was suddenly staring at both of them for reasons other than their attire. Gordon was particularly shocked over the situation, cheeks colored from his apparent embarrassment. Dean gave him a false smile. “Hope to see you at the next fundraiser, Gordy!”

 

Cas pulled Dean away from the crowd to a corner of the room. “Hey, are you okay?”

 

He scoffed and started to pace. “No, I’m not. What a fucking asshole!”

 

Grabbing Dean’s shoulder Cas tried to calm him down with a soft, “Look at me, Dean.”

 

Dean took a deep breath and looked into Cas’s eyes, visibly starting to relax. “Sorry, Cas.”

 

Cas cupped Dean’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over it soothingly. “Don’t be. You were amazing and that guy  _ was  _ an asshole. I just don’t want you to lose your energy over such a dick. He isn’t worth it.”

 

“You’re right, it’s just…  _ Fuck  _ that shit.” Dean was visibly calmer, that was until his Chief charged forward and yanked Dean towards him by his arm.

 

“The hell was that about?”

 

Dean shook him off. “Guy was a fucking prick, Bobby. Asking fucking bullshit questions, like we’re some sort of spectacle!”

 

Bobby narrowed his eyes. “You  _ are  _ a spectacle, look at the two of you! Of course people are going to judge you!”

 

“Not because of the clothes, Bobby. Because of our relationship,” Cas tried to explain, laying his arm around Dean’s shoulder on instinct.

 

“Still, there was no need to humiliate that poor man.”

 

Dean rounded on Bobby. “So, it’s fine for him to ask which one of us takes it up the ass? Now is that because he’s straight? Or because he’s rich?”

 

At that Bobby’s face blanched before he answered pragmatically, “You could have just ignored him, Dean.”

 

“Are you telling me I’m allowed to go up to all of these straight couples and ask them if their wives spit or swallow?”

 

Bobby pulled Dean in closer and whispered in a harsh tone, “Get some air.  _ Now.” _

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Gladly,” he spat as he turned on his heel and headed towards the door.

 

Cas gave Bobby a pointed look. “You know he’s right.”

 

Bobby rubbed at the back of his neck, clearly fatigued. “I know. But  _ you  _ know there are better ways to handle situations like that.”

 

Cas sighed and nodded. “I’ll go and look after him.”

 

“Thanks, Cas. Tell him he got his wish, by the way. He’s banned from attending any more events like this. And tell him he’s lucky I’m not suspending his ass without pay.”

 

Cas nodded and followed Dean, who was waiting for him at the door. He wrapped his arm around him as soon as they closed the door behind them, pulling him close. “Hey, handsome. What do you say we spend the rest of the night doing something fun? Since you got your wish now and are finally banned from these parties?”

 

Dean smiled down at Cas. “That's what Bobby said, huh? Well, I  _ did  _ promise you a ride down the pole…”

 

“Yes, he also told me to tell you that you're lucky…” Cas scratched his chin, playing like he was trying to remember Bobby’s words. “Hmm, probably that you're lucky you have me. I stopped listening after ‘lucky’.”

 

Rolling his eyes, he playfully knocked his hip into Cas’s. “I’m probably lucky he’s not firing my ass.”

 

“He has to say that because he's your boss. But he knows you’re right.”

 

Dean sighed and looped his arm around Cas’s shoulder. “That’s good, at least.” As they started walking back to the L station, Dean asked, “So, whaddya say? Wanna head to the station?”

 

“Will you put on your uniform?” Cas asked with a wide grin. He always had a weakness for men in uniform and seeing Dean in his was just delicious.

 

“If you’re good,” he teased.

 

Cas gave him a puppy look, wrapping his arm around him before he whispered, “I'm always good.”

 

“Well, that’s a balls-out lie.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of Cas’s nose. “Fine. I’ll put the damn uniform on.”

 

“Yes!” Cas made a fist pump before he intertwined their fingers again. “I love seeing you in it. You should be one of those firefighter models from a sexy calendar.”

 

“You know I’m a  _ real  _ firefighter, right? Not a porn one?”

 

“Which makes it twice as hot, babe.”

 

Dean crowded Cas up against a pillar on the platform as they waited for their train to come. He leaned over him, smirk on his lips. “The thought of me dousing fires and rescuing kittens get you all hot, Cas?”

 

“Yes,” Cas breathed out, wrapping his arms around him. “That and your uniform. It’s my weakness.”

 

“Good to know,” he purred, licking a swipe up the shell of Cas’s ear.

 

“You know knowledge is power and responsibility. I hope you use that information for good,” Cas gasped out, his cock was already hard from Dean’s words and closeness. He knew they shouldn't, their scene was tomorrow. But the entire week all he could think about was having Dean again.

 

Dean grazed his teeth along Cas’s pulse point, his hand snaking to the nape of his neck, as he whispered, “I think we’ve established I’m irresponsible.”

 

“You’re going to be the death of me, Dean Winchester.” Cas had restrained himself so far, but his resolve to not do anything sexually was crumbling away with Dean's teasing and the amount of alcohol in his blood. He wasn't drunk, but he was pleasantly buzzed enough that it seemed like a good idea to grab Dean by his lapels and turn them around, pushing him up against the pillar. Cas dove in, plunging his tongue into his best friend’s mouth when the arrival of their train was announced.

 

Dean groaned against Cas's lips, chuckling softly. “Saved by the bell?”

 

Cas hummed, taking one more quick peck. "Just temporarily." 

 

For that he received a wink before they boarded their line to get to Dean’s station. Thankfully the crowds had dispersed, just a few people scattered on the train. They were able to find seats and Dean made it a point to drape his legs over Cas’s lap as he leaned against the railing. He was just smiling at Cas, seemingly content in their companionable silence.

 

If Cas pretended they were a couple in his mind, well, no one needed to know. Though he tried to not think too much about it. He wanted to stay as far away as possible from any reality checks. He just wanted to enjoy this... seeing Dean like this, happy and smiling at him.

 

Cas was absentmindedly massaging Dean's leg as he grinned at Dean. "I can't wait to see you out of this suit. I think you only chose this attire because you want me to undress you."

 

Dean arched his brow and shrugged in surrender. “You got me. I chose an eyesore for an outfit so all you could do was try to get it off of me, you know… to save your vision.”

 

"A very clever and evil plan, but I saw through it. Guess you have to do more to get an invitation to The Evil League of Evil."

 

Dean clutched at his heart and wiped away a fake tear. “Oh my god, you used a reference correctly. I’m so proud!”

 

Cas smiled widely, feeling proud in that moment. “I think I can still sing the duet.” He started humming the melody of “My Eyes,” trying to remember the words as he started somewhere in the middle. He couldn't carry a tune, so he started quietly,  _ “I cannot believe my eyes, is the world finally growing wise? Because it seems to me, some kind of harmony... is on the rise." _

 

Dean, who  _ could  _ carry a tune, started the overlapping part of the song, a cocky smirk on his face,  _ “Anyone with half a brain, could spend their whole life howling in pain. ‘Cause the dark is everywhere, and Penny doesn’t seem to care, that soon the dark in me is all that will remain…”  _

 

_ "Take it slow. He looks at me and seems to know,"  _ Cas sang, smiling at Dean with a wide grin before he continued,  _ "the things that I'm afraid to show. And suddenly I feel this glow." _

 

_ “Listen close to everybody’s heart, and hear that breaking sound. Hopes and dreams are shattering apart, and crashing to the ground,”  _ Dean continued to sing in harmony with him.

 

_ “And I believe there’s good in everybody’s heart, keep it safe and sound, with hope, you can do your part, to turn a life around…”  _ Cas grinned at Dean’s showmanship as he started getting louder, facial expressions becoming emotional.

 

Dean nodded his head in silent communication, turning his back to Cas.  _ “I cannot believe my eyes, how the world’s filled with filth and lies.” _

 

Cas leaned his back against Dean’s as he sang in harmony with him,  _ “I cannot believe my eyes, how the world’s finally growing wise.” _

 

And then they continued to harmonize as the song reached its staggered point. Dean went first,  _ “But it’s plain to see…”  _

 

_ “And it’s plain to see…” _

 

_ “Evil inside of me…” _

 

_ “Rapture inside of me…” _

 

_ “Is on the rise,”  _ they finished the end of the song together.

 

The five random passengers on their train all began to applaud them. Dean turned to look down at Cas, smile wide, eyes twinkling. It was funny, in that moment, the way Dean looked at him, he felt like the only human in existence. 

 

Dean leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Cas’s cheek. “I promise I won’t let Captain Hammer accidentally kill you, Penny.”

 

“I meant every word I said earlier to that douchebag.” Cas tried to convey his seriousness in his voice, hoping Dean would understand he really meant those words. “You’re my hero.”

 

“All ‘cause I sang with you on a train? Cas, you need to find better things to be impressed by.” And as usual, Dean brushed off a compliment with a joke.

 

Cas was having none of that though. He pulled Dean into a soft kiss, not caring at the moment that he probably shouldn't. “Not because of that and you know it. Just say thank you and accept the compliment,” he whispered against Dean’s lips.

 

Dean chuckled. “Thanks.” As he leaned back against the seat, he grabbed Cas's hand and held it. “I never even got to ask how your week was. It's been kinda hectic.”

 

“Longer than usual and I missed you. How was your week?” He gave Dean a soft smile, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand. 

 

“Decent. Only a handful of EMS calls and nothing too critical… No stretches. I missed you, too. Five days without hanging out, that's a new record for us,” he teased.

 

Cas nodded before he wrapped his arm around the shoulder. “Seemed even longer with how much I was looking forward to the weekend.”

 

Dean arched his brow. “That right? Got big plans?” His tone was teasing and amused.

 

Cas hoped the mysterious, teasing smile he was aiming for came across before he winked at Dean.  _ Oh, yes.  _ He had  _ big  _ plans. And the best part was the plans would take a lot of time. Because five days without Dean had been seriously too much. “Very big plans,” he murmured as he pulled Dean closer. “Are you curious?”

 

“Fuck yes, I’m curious.”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile and kissed the tip of his nose. “Good.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh and moved to lay out across the seats, placing his head in Cas’s lap as he looked up at him. “I’m half tempted to withhold sex.”

 

Cas carded his fingers through Dean’s hair, loving every second of being close to him again. “Not knowing is half the fun, handsome.”

 

With a long suffering sigh, Dean rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. “You’re just a goddamn tease and you clearly hate me.”

 

_ No, I actually love you.  _ Cas sighed deeply before he leaned over Dean and whispered, “You’ll love me for teasing you later, when you come harder than you’ve ever come before.”

 

Dean groaned. “You tryin’ to see how long before my resolve snaps?”

 

Cas shrugged and gave him a smug grin. “Maybe.”

 

As the train came to their stop, Dean moved to sit up, making it a point to lean in close and whisper, “You’re gonna regret that,” before he stood up and held his hand out for Cas to take.

 

Somehow Cas couldn’t believe that.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

After punching in the door code, they tiptoed into the station. Whoever was on shift was probably already in the sleeping rooms for the night, from how dark everything was. Dean managed to quietly get them to the day room, with relatively minimal sound or lights being turned on.

 

Once the door was closed, he turned the light on, dragging Cas to one of the couches. They collapsed against it, Dean feeling particularly content. From the combination of the booze, Cas’s proximity, and being in his home away from home; in that moment, everything was great. Even his weird and damning crush on his best friend seemed to have a more calming effect than its usual anxiety producing one. 

 

Dean draped his legs over Cas’s lap again, propping his cheek against his hand resting along the back of the couch. “Not sure you’ll get to ride down the pole. Everyone’s asleep, don’t wanna wake ‘em if we can avoid it.”

 

“But I can get you in your uniform, right? You know, to quell my disappointment about the pole.” It didn’t sound like Cas was even remotely disappointed about the pole.

 

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes. “You don’t deserve it, with all your teasing, but a promise is a promise.” Before Cas could respond, he quietly left the dayroom to the locker room. While a part of him was a little anxious, he was mostly intrigued and excited. Dean had never done anything like this. Hell, not even for Lisa, and she  _ begged  _ him for a firefighter strip tease pretty much from the moment she found out what he did for a living.

 

Cas was an exception, but then, he kind of always was. Dean had never been much for sentimentality, but when it came to his best friend, it was pretty damn easy. From their impromptu lunch dates because one of them was thinking of the other, to their enjoyment of being overly affectionate to mess with people. 

 

Another thing that Dean hadn’t always been great at. Public displays. Hell, anytime any of his exes got particularly touchy-feely with him, he’d kind of step back. Dean had never been outwardly rude about it, but it always made him sort of squeamish. Not out of societal politeness either, he couldn’t give two fucks about that sort of thing.

 

But Cas. Maybe it was because they’d known each other for so long, practically grew up with the guy. Maybe it was because he’d always found Dean’s recklessness and rebellious streak endearing and amusing, as opposed to embarrassing or frustrating. Whatever the reason, if the guy wanted a damn strip tease in his turnout gear, he was gonna get it.

 

Dean only fumbled a few times, attempting to dress by the light of his cellphone flashlight, and decided ‘fuck it,’ he wasn’t putting on a shirt. He pulled the suspenders up and over his bare chest, the scratchiness of the material more uncomfortable than arousing. After zipping up the coat and pulling on his boots, Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. 

 

There was a reason that strippers had sluttier and lighter costumes, there was no way he could pull off dancing sexy in the ridiculous amount of kevlar he had on. When Dean made his way back to the day room, Cas was still sitting on the couch, back to him. 

 

Dean closed the door quietly and leaned against the doorway. “Someone demanded a firefighter in uniform?”

 

Comedy gold. Cas’s surprised look was comedy  _ gold.  _ If Cas would have been a cartoon character, his heart would have probably leapt out of his chest, his tongue would be on the ground, and his eyes would have bulged out, all while howling like a wolf. 

 

Dean quirked his brow. “I take it you like what you see?”

 

“Oh, yes,” Cas breathed out. “I totally underestimated my uniform kink.”

 

Waggling his eyebrows, Dean slowly approached. “So I’m guessing you still want the striptease you didn’t get to fully have at work?”

 

Cas nodded quickly, his eyes wide and begging. “Please.”

 

Dean smirked and pulled out his cell, finding a random song to strip to. When he scrolled through one of his playlists, ‘Pony’ by Ginuwine jumped out at him and it was too damn funny to  _ not  _ choose that song.

 

As the beat started, Dean moved around the couch, standing a few feet in front of Cas. As he swung his hips, Dean had to wonder if it was even noticeable under the ten pounds of fabric he was wearing.

 

Cas seemed mesmerized either way and that was all the confidence boost he needed as he slowly started unzipping the coat. Dean turned his back to Cas as he opened it. He also totally caught the way his friend’s breath hitched when he slowly shrugged the coat off, revealing bare shoulders.

 

Dean turned to face Cas again, feeling pretty smug over the lust filled gaze he was met with. Even more slowly, he pulled the suspender straps down one at a time, undulating his hips in such a way it would give the go-go boys who worked in Boystown a run for their money.

 

Pants now hanging dangerously low on his hips, Dean moved to straddle Cas, wrapping his arms around his friend’s neck as he started gyrating in his lap.

 

_ Shit.  _ Maybe he missed his true calling.

 

"Dean..." Cas breathed out. "Fuck, you're sexy."

 

Drawing back, still on Cas’s lap, he braced his hands on the edge of the couch to lean back, thrusting his hips up as he slipped off of his lap again to stand in front of him. Deftly, quickly, Dean slid out of his turnout pants, now clad in his boxer briefs. He turned his back to Cas and slid onto his lap again, slowly and purposely grinding his ass against Cas’s crotch. Dean wrapped his arm behind himself to his friend’s neck, head slightly turned to whisper against his lips, “That a gun in your pocket?”

 

Cas chuckled lowly. “No, I’m just  _ very  _ happy to see you.”

 

No longer able to take it, Dean crushed his lips against Cas’s, continuing to gyrate against him, still able to get totally immersed in sensation, despite the almost awkward angle he was in, craning his neck to meet his friend’s lips. With his free hand, he grabbed one of Cas’s and pulled it flush against his chest, using his own hand to trail Cas’s down his torso. Lower and lower, until Cas’s fingertips were brushing the waistband of his underwear.

 

_ Fuck.  _ He was so turned on. His plan to tease Cas beyond coherence was starting to backfire. They needed to get back to Cas’s place and start their scene early, or he was going to ride the guy in the middle of the day room at his place of work.

 

With a shuddery breath, Dean drew away from Cas’s sinful mouth. “Ready to get outta here?”

 

Cas was breathing heavy, almost pulling Dean back into a kiss, but stopping in the last moment. “Yes, uh, yes. Let’s go home.”

 

“You said just one of us had to say ‘when’ if it got too much and we needed to schedule an extra scene, right?” Dean reluctantly moved from Cas’s lap. He had to know, because if he misunderstood that little rule, they were going to need to separate for the night. There was no way in pluperfect hell he could stay in Cas’s presence and  _ not  _ fuck him.

 

Cas nodded quickly. “Yes, but if you want to do something tonight… it’s not just you who needs it.”

 

Dean pulled his turnout pants back on and grabbed his jacket, before leaning forward, face inches from Cas’s. “Then fucking  _ when.”  _ He couldn’t even try to stop himself from kissing Cas again.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

“I’m not going to fuck you, toy,” Cas told Dean in a stern voice as he pulled him over to his bed with his finger hooked into the ring of the collar. “I have plans for tomorrow and I want your ass as unprepared as possible. Lay on your back on the bed and let your head hang over the edge."

 

The needy whimper that escaped Dean was making his decision all the more difficult. 

 

Cas rounded the bed and opened Dean's jeans, pulling them off together with his boxer briefs and socks before he slid over him and unbuttoned his shirt slowly. He kissed and licked over Dean's right nipple, trailing a line down his chest to his right hipbone, where he sucked a mark.

 

When he slid from the bed he looked down at Dean's naked body, taking in the flushed skin and the rock hard and leaking cock. He slowly opened his own jeans as he rounded the bed to where Dean was looking up at him, his neck braced against the edge of the mattress as his head hung over it.

 

Cas grabbed a pillow from his bed and knelt down on it. "Open your mouth."

 

Pliant and obedient, he easily did as instructed. Cas moaned deeply when he pushed his cock slowly into Dean's mouth, holding the back of his head with one hand to keep Dean in place. "You can touch yourself, Dean. Show me what you do when you pleasure yourself at home."

 

Dean began to slowly slide his hands down his torso, pausing only to play with his nipples, which caused him to groan slightly, creating a delicious reverberation against Cas’s cock. When his right hand reached his pelvis, Dean gripped his leaking dick, thumbing the precome and slowly pumping his erection. His other hand traveled lower, from Cas’s angle, he wasn’t able to see if Dean was simply fondling his balls, or going lower. Either way it was causing Dean’s breathing through his nose to come out a little more ragged.

 

Then, to his delighted surprise, Dean released the grip on his cock for a moment when he managed to push the pooled saliva around Cas’s dick from his mouth, causing it to drip from the corners of red and stretched lips. Dean used his hand to collect the saliva then used the added lubricant to pump his cock a little faster.

 

Cas let his finger slide gently over the length of Dean's exposed throat before he started to fuck Dean's mouth, deep and slow. It felt incredible, feeling Dean's tongue sliding along his erection, taking him so deep. Cas hummed, continuing to caress Dean's face with his free hand before he let it glide over his throat and to his chest. He circled Dean's nipples and pinched each of them between his thumb and forefinger, making Dean gasp around his cock. He used both moments to push deeper into Dean's mouth, increasing the pace he was fucking him.

 

Dean still didn't choke on him, even though Cas was fucking his mouth mercilessly now and he felt strangely proud that his pet was doing such a good job. He caressed through his hair, humming, "You're doing so good. I'm going to come in your mouth tonight and I want you to swallow. I will spank you if you spill a drop."

 

An affirmed hum reverberated around his cock, Dean relentlessly pumping his erection, tiny moans managing to escape every time Cas pulled back slightly before slamming back into the tight, wet heat.

 

Cas was close. Watching Dean stroking his own cock was mesmerising and he didn't know where to look. At Dean's beautiful erection, or how his own cock was slamming into his amazing mouth. Cas pinched Dean's nipple again, enjoying how Dean arched his back, before he slid his palms to Dean's throat, wrapping his fingers around it. He didn't squeeze much, just tight enough that Dean would have difficulties breathing for a moment as he picked up the pace. "I want you to come, baby." 

 

The strangled cry that escaped was perfection as Dean started stroking his cock faster, bucking his hips up. He was fucking into his hand, other hand now twisted into the sheets for purchase. 

 

"Come on, pet," Cas moaned as he squeezed Dean's throat again. "Let me see you come all over yourself."

 

The frantic pace Dean was fucking his hand started to stagger as his body tensed. More saliva dribbled from his mouth as he succumbed to his orgasm. From the angle of his hips, when Dean came, it managed to hit the man’s chin in addition to the streaks that decorated his sweaty chest.

 

It was incredibly hot, seeing Dean succumbing to his lust, feeling his mouth and tongue around his cock. It was all Cas needed to lose his last shred of control. He grabbed Dean's throat hard and pushed deep into him when he came, moaning loud when Dean swallowed around him.

 

Dean wrapped his lips tightly around Cas’s cock, managing to obey his command, despite not being able to swallow everything quickly. He kept every drop sealed in his mouth.

 

Cas carded his fingers through Dean's hair lovingly as he tried to calm his ragged breathing. "Such a good toy." He slowly pulled out of him. "Wait here."

 

Cas bent over to kiss Dean's forehead and lips, licking over his lower lip before he stood up and went to the bathroom. He washed his cock over the sink and held a part of a towel under the water to dampen it. To his delight, Dean hadn't moved from his position, even though it couldn't have been comfortable to lay with his head like that. "Lay in the middle of the bed, handsome."

 

When Dean moved to sit up a little fast, he swayed, face reddened from the blood rushing. He fell forward and braced his hands on the bed, taking a few deep breaths.

 

"Don't worry. You‘ll feel dizzy for a few minutes, but it’ll pass." Cas carded his fingers through his hair again. He pushed him back on the bed and used the towel to tenderly clean Dean's face and the rest of his body. When he was done he looked up with a smile. "I'll get you something to drink and some chocolate. Just lay still, okay?"

 

Dean nodded mutely, looking utterly debauched while simultaneously appearing somewhat seraphic. It was the innocent almost awe on his beautiful face as he looked up at Cas.

 

Cas leaned over to kiss his forehead, biting his lip to hold back the words that threatened to break free. "I'll be back with you in just a moment."

 

He took the soft blanket and draped it over Dean before he walked to the kitchen, getting rid of his jeans and shirt on the way. He fetched a cool glass of water and some of Dean's favorite chocolate before he made it back to his bed. "Need help sitting up?"

 

Dean shook his head and moved to sit up against the headboard. Cas handed him the glass of water and the chocolate as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Good,” he croaked, his voice coming out rough from the throat fucking.

 

Cas leaned over to open the collar, pulling it off of Dean to lay it on the night stand. "Drink the water. If you need another glass, I'll get you one."

 

Met with another mute nod, Dean gave Cas a grateful smile as he took the glass and started drinking.

 

Cas watched him for a while, waiting patiently until he had finished drinking, so he could put the glass aside. "I'm planning to do a few new things with you tomorrow. And for safety reasons, we need to go over a few things. Are you awake enough for this conversation, or should I tell you tomorrow?"

 

“I’m awake,” he assured, voice slightly less hoarse.

 

Cas gave him a soft smile as he took Dean's hand in his. "The last two times I've tested a few of your skills and I want to build up on that. Usually you are always able to say your safeword. I didn't tie you up on purpose this time so you could have signalled me, or pushed me away if something hadn't been alright. Tomorrow you'll be in a situation where you won't be able to use a safeword. I will gradually build the scene up to that moment and at one point, I’ll take that freedom from you. You won't be in the situation for long, but it's ultimately a sign of the trust you will give to me, knowing I will take care of you in this situation. I’m telling you now to ask you, if you want to try that."  

 

Dean nodded again. “Yes, Cas. I would like to try it.”

 

“Cool. How about you scoot over and we have some nice cuddle time?” Cas grinned, happy that Dean was open to taking the next step in their D/s relationship.

 

That was met with an arched brow. “‘Cuddle time’? Really?” Dean moved over to make room for Cas as he continued, “The filthy fucking shit that comes out of your mouth in a scene, and then you say things like ‘cuddle time’?”

 

"Being unpredictable is part of my success." Cas shrugged as he slid next to Dean under the covers and wrapped his arm around him. He pulled him close before he captured Dean's lips in a soft kiss. "And you love cuddling, don't you dare pretend otherwise.”

 

Dean hummed contentedly into the kiss before he moved to curl into Cas, head pressed to his chest. “Shut up.”

 

Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head, starting to draw soft patterns on his back as he nuzzled his nose into Dean’s hair, enjoying the moment with a deep and content hum.

 

Moving his head to turn up a little, Dean gave him a soft smile. “You know, it’s funny. I thought this would be weirder than it is. But it’s not. What  _ is  _ weird is how  _ not  _ weird this is, you know?”

 

Cas returned the soft smile. "Yes, I know. I'm so relieved this doesn't seem to impact our friendship in any negative way."

 

Dean was silent for a moment, before he leaned up and pressed another chaste kiss to Cas’s lips before resuming his position, head resting against his chest. “Thanks, Cas.”

 

Cas furrowed his brow, carding his fingers through Dean's hair again. "For what?"

 

“For being there. Tonight… always… I love you.” 

 

Cas smiled though his heart ached painfully with Dean’s words. He knew Dean meant them as a friend. They had exchanged those three little words a few times in their life before, always meaning them in a platonic way. But in the recesses of his mind, he secretly pretended they meant more. So when he answered Dean, he answered with his true feelings, “I love you, too.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Missed your chance to Solo me.”

 

“Maybe next time.” Cas chuckled and kissed the top of Dean’s head again.


	7. Kissing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Possible Trigger Warnings**! for this chapter: Mentions of Past Rape are discussed here and there is a flashback depicting the attack, it's not detailed or particularly graphic, but it _is_ there. If this is a trigger for you, feel free to skip the second italicized flashback.
> 
> ALSO: SUPER NSFW art in this chapter!

**Chapter 7**

 

Dean woke up still curled into Cas, feeling a sense of calm from the way his friend’s chest kept rising and falling with each breath. His snoring was soft and overall Dean just felt content.

 

It was kind of crazy what turn their friendship had taken, but a good crazy. He'd never imagined himself exploring such an intense sexual side of himself, let alone with Cas guiding him, but it kind of made sense. 

 

The guilt over how the step was manipulated by Dean had almost disappeared, because in the end it all worked out. He was having great sex, his friendship with Cas was the strongest it had ever been… The only downside was the simmering and confusing feelings Dean was having for Cas. Stoking a fire and losing control over it.

 

He was going to have to find a way to put it out. Dean moved to sit up a little, unable to stop the smile at how peaceful his friend looked. Dean was definitely going to have to find a way to put out the fire, but that could wait until tomorrow.

 

Dean carefully kissed Cas's lips before he crawled out of bed, padding quietly to the kitchen to make them some coffee.

 

As it brewed, his thoughts returned to last night, the way Cas took him, his authoritative demeanor piled with a sexy fucking… well,  _ everything.  _ Dean was grateful for having the whole day for whatever Cas had in store.

 

He was nervous, that was a given, but he trusted Cas. He kind of loved being able to please him on a level that not just anybody could. Dean was more than ready to see how far his own desires could go.

 

_ Shit.  _ He'd never considered choking to be pleasant, let alone sexually stimulating. But fuck, it definitely was. Dean forced himself to stop thinking like that. His willpower was constantly being tested.

 

Dean made it back to Cas's room, two mugs of coffee in hand, and chuckled at the scrunched up brow of his sleeping friend. Probably dreaming. 

 

Placing the mugs on Cas's night stand, Dean moved to crawl on top of his friend, who just hummed contentedly in response. The temptation to wake Cas up with a blowjob was almost stifling, but he really needed to try and stop pushing their line.

 

Instead he draped himself over Cas, cupping his friend's cheek and gently tried to wake him. “Cas? I brought coffee for you.” 

 

Cas blinked sleepily at him, the morning sun hit his eyes and made it impossible to look away from so much blue. “What time is it?” he asked drowsily.

 

Dean looked at the alarm clock, it was 7:46 AM. He almost repressed a groan. “Way too early. I guess my internal clock is fucked up.”

 

Cas hummed and rubbed over his eyes. “That’s okay. You should go home for a few hours anyway. Maybe try and get a bit more sleep so you’ll feel awake and rested for later.”

 

The problem with that though, was he didn’t  _ want  _ to go home. But maybe Cas wanted him to? Maybe he was starting to realize that maybe Dean’s affection and feelings for him were slowly morphing into something not quite platonic? Despite the protest on the verge of tumbling out of his mouth, Dean stayed strong and nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll, uh… I’ll get out of your hair then.”

 

Cas checked his phone for something and nodded absent mindedly. "Is it okay if I call you when I'm back home? So, we can meet up again?"

 

Dean moved off of the bed and started picking up his clothes.  _ Fuck.  _ He was going to have to ride the L in day time dressed like Harry. And then what Cas said suddenly hit him. Trying to not feel like a goddamn jealous girlfriend, he kept his tone as light as possible when he asked, “Oh? I didn’t realize you had other plans?” Mission botched. It was probably a good thing Cas was sending his needy ass back home.

 

Cas smiled. "It's a surprise for you. I can give you ride back home if you want. Your apartment is on the way and we would have time for breakfast."

 

The relief that washed over him was substantial.  _ Damnit.  _ He really  _ was  _ a needy girlfriend at this point.  _ Shit.  _ Taking a deep breath, Dean forced a smile and shook his head. “It’s alright. You get some more sleep. Just call me when you need me to come back.” He finished buttoning up his ruffled shirt, leaving it untucked. On the bright side, he had the walk of shame look  _ nailed. _

 

Cas held up his hand and waved him over to the bed with a puppy eyed look. 

 

Dean walked to his side of the bed and moved to sit next to him. “Yeah?”

 

He gasped out in surprise when Cas wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back into the bed and into a tight embrace. "I can't believe you fell for that." He chuckled in Dean's ear. "What are you going to do now, huh?"

 

He was going to deck his friend, that’s what the hell he was going to do. Dean laughed and pushed Cas away, moving to sit up again. “I’m going to drink your coffee. Dick.” He grinned as he grabbed Cas’s mug and took a gulp, then pulled a face at the sweetness of it. “Fuck, why do you even bother with coffee? I could just make you sugar water to drink.”

 

"The difference is that you drink coffee with sugar and I drink sugar with coffee. Don't judge. I need my energy. There’s this firefighter who is  _ always  _ a handful..." Cas grinned as he tried to pull Dean back into the bed, making a protesting noise when it didn't work. "But if you get up now, my bed gets cold. That’s very inconsiderate of you." 

 

“Maybe you deserve it. Maybe I’ll just go for a leisurely stroll to make you think about what you did, huh? Making me think you were kicking me out.” Dean’s brow was arched in amusement, but he still felt a little fucked up over it. Making him address the level of inappropriateness of his feelings for Cas.

 

Cas stopped pulling at his arm for a moment, tilting his head. "You thought I was kicking you out?" Cas squinted his eyes at him, suddenly looking worried. "Dean, please answer me honestly, okay? Did you have negative feelings or thoughts that were unusually intense or prominent in your mind?"

 

“Yeah…” he answered carefully, feeling even more unsure and uncomfortable.

 

Cas reached over to take his hand, his voice sounded tender as he said, "Get undressed and come back to bed. There’s no rush." 

 

Dean really needed to go with his instincts here, not his stupid ass feelings. “It’s, uh… it’s probably better that I  _ do  _ go actually.” Man, he really hoped Cas wouldn’t ask too many questions.

 

Cas shook his head. "I know you probably want to be alone right now, Dean, but it will only get worse when you are. Just stay with me for a while longer, until you feel a bit better, okay? Please."

 

_ Fuck.  _ That made him want to cry. Why the fuck did he feel like he wanted to cry? Dean really needed to get his shit together. Dean shook his head and got up from the bed, apologizing over and over as he grabbed his jacket and shoes. “I’m sorry, it’s not… I’ll text you.”

 

Cas stood up and cupped Dean's face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over his cheeks soothingly. "Look at me, Dean. You're experiencing a subdrop. Remember? I told you this could happen. I'm not going to let you go like this. I need you to stay with me, okay? I need you."

 

Is that what was happening?  _ Damn.  _ Dean supposed it could be, but this terrified part of him was worried it had nothing to do with subdrop, or whatever. That he was getting so fucked up over the conflicting feelings he was having. And now, on top of all of the bullshit he was feeling, he got to add worrying Cas to it.  _ Great.  _ “I thought the chocolate was supposed to stop it,” he joked weakly, not even finding himself funny.

 

Cas let his arms slide over Dean's shoulder and onto his back, pulling him closer as he leaned his forehead against Dean's. "Despite what a lot of people think, chocolate isn't really magical. But it can help, let me show you how, okay? Undress and get back in bed. I'll get your favorite from the kitchen."

 

Dean nodded and started undressing himself again. He felt pretty embarrassed now on top of everything. Going back to sleep was probably the best idea. When he got into the bed, he swapped his pillow out for Cas’s, trying to ignore how weird and clingy that felt. When Cas returned, he had to refrain from reaching out to pull him down. All he wanted was to feel him physically close. Dean let out a sigh. The way his emotions were flip-flopping in every possible direction, he realized Cas was probably right. Still, it didn’t bring the relief he hoped it would.

 

Cas climbed next to him in the bed, sliding close and putting one arm under Dean's head, the other one with the chocolate resting tenderly on his chest. He leaned forward to kiss his nose, giving him a soft smile as he started to card his fingers through Dean's hair. "Okay, I'm going to show you something now. It's something you can also do at home when you feel down. Although, if this ever happens again when I'm not around, I want you to call me immediately. Okay? Promise me."

 

“I promise.”

 

"Good." Cas gave him a smile before he leaned over, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. "Good," he murmured again before leaning back with a smile. His voice sounded playful and soft as he commanded, "Stick out your tongue for me, handsome."

 

Dean did as instructed, still a little confused, but willing to try anything at that point.

 

"Close your eyes," Cas whispered softly, sliding closer to him.

 

As his eyes slid shut, he felt a small shiver of excitement.

 

He heard rustling from the chocolate wrapper and a few seconds later, Cas was slowly rubbing his favorite nougat chocolate back and forth over his tongue. The explosion of sweetness and Cas’s ministrations, was bizarrely arousing. "Okay. Just take this in your mouth now and let it melt on your tongue," Cas instructed, sounding a bit breathless.

 

Dean held the chocolate in his mouth, enjoying the way it was slowly melting against his tongue. It was weird that he already started to feel a little better. 

 

Cas carded his fingers soothingly through his hair. "I want you to know, Dean, that I'm always here for you. You're the most important person in my life and I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to. Being with you like this..." He shook his head slightly before he continued, "It's incredible. I'm enjoying this so very much." He rubbed his thumb over Dean's lower lip and murmured, "You are so good to me." 

 

Dean kissed Cas’s thumb and at the slight hitch of his breath, he opened his mouth and sucked the digit into his mouth. As Cas’s eyes fluttered open, he was met with the most intense blue eyes he’d ever seen. 

 

Cas leaned over, hesitating for a moment before he kissed him. A kiss that started soft, but grew more intense when Cas licked over Dean's tongue, probably tasting the rest of the chocolate. He tightened his arms around him and turned them on the bed, so they could lie side by side, legs and arms entangled together.

 

It was kind of amazing how much better he felt at the contact, he was half tempted to tease Cas that he should have led with a kiss. But then Dean would have to stop kissing Cas to do that and there was no way in hell he planned on stopping any time soon. His hand found its way to the side of Cas’s face, before sliding up and tangling itself into the craziest bedhead he’d ever seen. Dean hummed into the kiss as he lost himself to sensation.

 

Cas suddenly pulled Dean on top of him, shifting a bit so their dicks wouldn't touch, as he continued licking into Dean's mouth like a drowning man. Not having any of that, Dean shifted his hips and ground his erection against Cas. 

 

Who wasn’t even  _ slightly  _ hard. 

 

Like being doused in ice water Dean drew back, shifting to sit back on his knees. Dean was way too fucked up emotionally over Cas. Dude clearly could differentiate between sex and whatever the fuck was happening to Dean. “Fuck, Cas. I’m sorry.”

 

Cas looked confused more than anything else. "What for, Dean?"

 

He shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t know, just. Fuck! You’re way better at not blurring the damn line.”

 

Cas snorted and shook his head, like Dean had said something really funny. "Believe me, I'm not. Everytime I kiss you I instantly want to jump your bones."

 

Dean scoffed. “You don’t gotta lie to kick it. I know I’m being stupid ‘cause of subdrop or whatever, but you don’t have to baby me.”

 

Cas sat up and grabbed Dean's hands. "First of all, you aren't stupid and me taking care of you isn't just because of the your drop, but also because you're my best friend. And second, why do you think I'm lying to you? I would just tell you if that weren't the case. Actually, I feel pretty embarrassed about my lack of self-control."

 

“Then why are you soft?” he accused, kind of hating himself for how angry he felt on top of hurt.

 

Cas closed his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath, before he quietly said, "Because I pulled you on top of me. I would be rock hard now if I hadn't changed our positions and I only did that because I didn't want to give you the wrong impression. That I only kissed you because I wanted to have sex with you. I just really like kissing you."

 

“Cas, just… be upfront with me. If I keep fucking up, I need you to be honest.” The anger was paving way for sadness again. Damn, this shit was no joke. Dean looked around to see where Cas put the chocolate. 

 

"You want proof? See how many seconds it takes for me to get hard when I kiss you?" Cas challenged, his voice sounded frustrated and sad. Instead of waiting for an answer Cas pushed Dean down on the bed before he dove in for a deeply passionate kiss, licking and teasing over his tongue. 

 

Dean shoved him back. “Stop it! What’s wrong with you?” 

 

Cas knelt back on the bed and pressed Dean's hand against his tented boxer briefs. "Do you believe me now?" Cas yelled at him, before he turned away from Dean with a muttered, "Fuck." Cas scrubbed his hands over his face in obvious distress. 

 

Carefully, Dean crawled over to Cas and gently touched his shoulder. “What’s going on, Cas?”

 

Cas's eyes were a bit glazed before he pulled Dean into a hug, burying his face against his throat. His voice sounded muffled, "I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry."

 

Dean hushed him, rubbing soothing circles over his friend’s back. This is how Dean got back in control, being there for his best friend when he needed him. Cas didn’t often have emotional breakdowns. Dean could count them all on one hand in the past twenty years. He held onto him and whispered, “Please tell me what’s going on.”

 

Cas pressed closer to his body and Dean could feel how he shook his head against his throat. "Can we just lie down again? I just need you to be close for a moment. Is that okay?"

 

He nodded against Cas’s head, gently pulling him down. Dean was on his back, Cas curled into him, a reverse of their position last night. “If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”

 

With a soft smile, Cas intertwined his hand with Dean’s, pressing kiss after kiss to each of Dean's fingers. "I've never told anyone this... I don't know if I can. But I also don't want you to ever get the wrong impression of me again... just because you don't know."

 

“You can tell me anything, Cas. I’ll never change my opinion, or impression, or whatever of you,” he assured. And he meant it. If Cas was about to tell him he was secretly a serial killer, Dean would have found a way to deal with it, but it wouldn’t change a damn thing about how much he loved his best friend.

 

Cas squeezed his hand again and shifted even closer to Dean, not looking up at him when he quietly started, "I wasn't lying when I told you... someone on top of me is a sure fire way to kill my boner." 

 

“Is it ‘cause you prefer being on top?” Dean was hoping against every hope  _ that  _ was the direction the conversation was going. But he wasn’t stupid. That was a pretty visceral reaction and he couldn’t imagine what would cause his, usually calm, best friend to freak out like that.

 

"It's a long story," Cas murmured, obviously trying to avoid the answer.

 

“Well, you’re in luck. I’m a much better listener than my best friend,” he teased, hoping to lighten the mood a little. At the very least, bring a smile to his friend’s face.

 

Cas gave him a quick smile, although it didn't reach his eyes, before he buried his face against Dean's chest again, breathing against Dean's skin. It took a while before he started talking, his voice sounded strangely detached, “I didn’t start out as a Dom, believe it or not. When I was twenty-four I got curious about the whole BDSM scene, but I didn't know my preference yet… I was really naive and open to experimenting. So I started being a sub to someone.”

 

That took Dean aback. Cas was such a domineering and strong Dom. It had never occurred to him that Cas could have ever been anything else. “Who?”

 

"You don't know him... I've never told you about him," Cas murmured slowly.

 

* * *

 

_ Cas couldn’t take his eyes off of the guy for at least fifteen minutes, feeling slightly envious of the man's suave and calm demeanour with everything that was happening around them. It was his first time at a BDSM event and it had been advertised at the perfect starting point to learn about the scene. He felt excited and nervous, but also incredibly aroused. Seeing all of the different people in various states of undress, rope dresses or leather outfits, leaving very little to the imagination.  _

 

_ The suave man, wearing an incredibly expensive suit, sat across from him at the bar. A bar Cas used as a quiet place for observing, because he didn’t feel brave enough to talk to other people yet.  _

 

_ When their eyes met over the counter, the man gave him predatory smile, causing his heart to stumble and his breathing to hitch.  _

 

_ The man got up from his seat and approached Cas, each step drawing them closer together. Cas’s breathing came out in almost ragged pants. The man slid in next to him, resting his elbow on the bar as he faced Cas and quirked his brow. “You’re new.” _

 

_ "Is it that obvious?" He tried to sound nonchalant, but he could hear the tremble in his own voice. _

 

_ That was met with a chuckle. “Only because you look like you’re about to pass out. You need to relax. Let me buy you a drink.” _

 

_ Cas felt incredibly embarrassed as he felt the heat rise to his face. He hoped he didn't blush. He cleared his throat. "Thank you. It's all very new... but very exciting. I'm Cas by the way." _

 

_ “Dick.” The name dripped from his tongue like honey as he extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Cas.” _

 

* * *

 

“His name was Dick. Very fitting for him.” Cas shook his head against Dean’s throat, his hair tickling over his cheek.

 

Dean wracked his brain for any of Cas's exes with the name Dick and found himself surprised. Cas hadn't been kidding. “Why didn't you tell me about him?” His tone was gentle and curious.

 

“It was all so very new at the time. And I had no idea how to even start telling you something like that. I was still trying to find myself, sexually.” Cas kissed Dean’s chest again and sighed. “Besides, the guy was an asshole and I feel embarrassed over how long I let him treat me the way he did.”

 

Dean tensed, he didn't like where the conversation was going. “How did he treat you?”

 

Cas's voice was void of any emotion as he answered, "He was aggressive, possessive, and manipulative. He tried to control every aspect of my life; went through my phone, my emails... and he..." His voice broke and he inhaled sharply. "He..." Cas shook his head and slid closer to Dean, wrapping his leg around Dean's to draw him even closer.

 

Dean’s grip around Cas tightened, wanting to end all of his pain and fear. “You don't have to tell me, but if you do, I'm here. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” Whoever this asshole was, if he ever met him, dude was gonna pay for causing Cas this level of pain.  _ Nobody  _ hurts Castiel.

 

Cas was shivering now, and his voice was quiet when he continued the story, pressed into Dean's body. “The worst night... this was a few days before I finally left him... He... I don't know why he was so...  _ angry  _ with me that night…” 

 

* * *

 

_ “Don’t make a peep, little mouse.” Dick chuckled cruelly as he relentlessly hit Cas’s ass with a paddle. Cas could already taste the blood on his lower lip from biting it so hard, but after twenty more hard hits, he couldn’t stop himself from crying out. _

 

_ Dick tsked disappointedly. “You know what that means...” _

 

**_No, no, no, please._ ** _ The tears were streaming down his face now and he felt like he couldn’t get enough air from the tightness of the collar around his neck. “Please, no.” _

 

_ “Shut up, you whiny bitch. You have lost your right to anything tonight. You disobeyed my command and now I’m gonna fuck you without prep.” _

 

_ When his Dom shoved his barely lubed cock into him, Cas cried out again. Instead of stopping, Dick started to fuck him at an even more brutal pace. It was too much. He couldn’t do it anymore. He had never used his safeword before, but now he felt like he needed to. “Serenity. Please, Master.”  _

 

_ He received a painful slap in the face for the use of his safeword. “Shut up! You’re not going to get out of your punishment like that. If I hear you say one more word, you’ll get another fifty strikes with the paddle.” _

 

_ Cas felt frozen, likely in shock. He had truly believed that he could stop the pain with the use of his safeword. He had trusted his Dom. The pain of being fucked like that was so unbearable, Cas thought he might pass out from it. The sounds of his own whimpers were drowned out by the grunts of his Dom pounding into him without mercy.  _

 

_ All he could do was hope it would all be over soon. So Cas did what he could to close off his brain, trying to retreat to the furthest corner of his mind, a vain attempt at trying to get through this. _

 

_ Cas wasn’t stupid. He knew what was happening, but he couldn’t even cry anymore. _

 

* * *

 

“I still carry the scars of that relationship. Not on my body, but in my heart. I have a hard time trusting people and I’m always afraid of losing control in a situation. I need to be in control in order to relax.”

 

The rush of anger he felt, Dean was almost trembling. How  _ dare  _ anyone lay their hands on Cas like that. He held onto Cas and said the only thing he could think of, “Fuck. I should have known better, I should have sensed something was wrong. I'm so fucking sorry, Cas.”

 

“Don’t be. You have no idea how much you helped me through that time. Remember when we had that movie night, where we watched and mocked those terrible movies?”

 

That was a little harder to narrow down, they did that shit a lot. “Maybe? I mean, we do that like every other week…”

 

“Yes.” Cas chuckled lowly. “I mean, back when I was twenty four. We got so stupidly drunk that night.”

 

Dean  _ did  _ remember that. It was the first time he got really mushy with Cas. His filter was obliterated from the ridiculous amount of booze they imbibed. “Wait, is that why you were ignoring my calls before I came over? You didn't want me to see you?”

 

“You remember that?” Cas asked, sounding surprised. He looked up at Dean for the first time since he had started to tell the story.

 

“Of course, man. My memory isn't all that great sometimes, but anytime I get this weird vibe like you need me? Yeah, that shit sticks out.”

 

“That was the day after it happened,” Cas said quietly. “And I can’t even begin to tell you how terrible I felt. If it hadn’t been for you, I don’t know what I would have done, Dean.”

 

“What do you mean?” He internally cursed himself for the way his voice shook. 

 

“The asshole didn't care for me afterwards, so  _ of course  _ I fell into a depression. Can you imagine how horrible it felt, to starve for the touch of this guy? I was so disgusted with myself…” Cas admitted quietly before his voice carried awe and contentment with his next confession, “And then you came over, cuddled with me on the couch while we watched bad movies. Without realizing it, you gave me the affection I needed…”

 

* * *

 

_ He didn’t want to see anyone, but the knocking on his door was insistent. Cas intended to just tell the person to go away, but when he opened the door, it was Dean. And he would never not want to see him. “Hello, Dean,” he greeted his friend tiredly. _

 

_ Dean handed Cas a case of beer to balance the pizza between two hands now. “You gotta stop letting your phone die, I've been calling you.” He gave him a triumphant smile. “I found all the terrible Peter Jackson flicks at that little market downtown! This couldn't wait, so if you have work in the morning, you're calling in sick.”  _

 

_ Cas had to smile. It was weird that after last night anything could still feel right and soothing for him. The prospect of Dean hanging out with him... it was exactly what he needed. He couldn't tell Dean anything though, not what had happened to him, and not the truth that his phone hadn't died, but he just couldn't pick it up. "Okay." He gave Dean another smile before he went back to his couch and slumped down on it. Still feeling tired, his body was aching all over. _

 

_ Dean dropped the pizza on his coffee table and disappeared into the kitchen, he could hear his friend rifling through his cabinets, for plates most likely. “I've got my heart set on Dead Alive first, but if you'd prefer Bad Taste, or Meet the Feebles, then I'll arm wrestle ya’ for it.” _

 

_ As he made his way back to the couch, he handed Cas a plate and a few paper towels, before grabbing two beers and popping the caps off. He handed Cas his beer with a broad and excited grin. _

 

_ Cas couldn’t help but mirror it as he took the beer with a grateful look. It was impossible not to be infected by Dean’s smile. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but he ate the pizza anyway so Dean wouldn’t notice something was up with him. “Since we’ll watch them all, I don't care in which order.” _

 

_ “Great! Also tell me what you think, it's a chocolate stout that's supposed to be just like the one you tried that summer you went to Boston,” he excitedly told Cas while he moved to put the movie on.  _

 

_ Cas looked at the bottle and smiled widely. “Can't believe you remembered that. Thanks.” _

 

_ Dean slumped down next to him, their legs connecting as he gave him a goofy grin. “You wouldn't shut up about that beer for like, two weeks, dude.” _

 

_ “Yes, but it's chocolate, Dean. Cho-co-la-te. It’s magic.” Cas leaned back against the couch, slowly sliding over until their shoulders bumped together. _

 

_ He shrugged. “I'll take your word for it. Although this is pretty good.” Dean proceeded to down half his beer.  _

 

_ When they finished eating, thankfully before any of the disgustingly gory scenes, Dean leaned against the armrest and pulled Cas against him. “I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks.” _

 

_ Cas closed his eyes, leaning into Dean's warmth and closeness. It  _ **_had_ ** _ been weeks. Dick didn’t want him spending any time with Dean. Cas shook his head, refusing to let that asshole poison his night. He sighed as his body slowly relaxed into the soothing calm Dean was radiating. "I've been... busy. But I want to change that." _

 

_ That's when he realized that this was how it was supposed to be. He should be in a relationship with someone he loved and someone who cared for him, like Dean. He never wanted to feel like that again, getting used and thrown away. He needed to take control of the situation. He needed to ditch that asshole and rethink his whole approach to relationships. "I missed you." _

 

_ “Ya’ did? Good.” Dean hummed contentedly as he wrapped his arm around Cas a little more. _

 

_ "Very much. I'll have more time in a few days, so we can spend a lot more time with each other. If you want to," Cas offered carefully, leaning his head against Dean's shoulder. He could stay like this forever. It was perfect.  _

 

_ Dean chuckled. “I love how you make it sound like you have a choice, hence why I’m commandeering your ass now for booze and bad movies.” _

 

_ Cas's heart skipped a beat when Dean's words reminded him of the night before. He sighed deeply when he noticed how tense he suddenly got in Dean's arms. "Yes, alcohol. That's exactly what I need right now. Keep it coming." _

 

_ Dean managed to reach over and grab a couple more beers without jostling either of them too much. They’d finished half the case before Cas really began to relax. Dean must have been feeling it, too because he kept nuzzling into Cas’s hair, humming along to the weird song from one of the films. He usually only got overly affectionate when he was inebriated. _

 

_ "Cas, you're seriously like, the best friend I've ever had. I ever tell you that?” _

 

_ "Maybe once or twice when you copied my math homework." Cas grinned, wishing this night with Dean would never stop. _

 

_ Dean tapped his cheek and waved for him to look up at him. For once, Dean didn’t have his usual light-hearted, silly response in store. “You know when you see that perfect friendship on TV? That almost fantastical, unrealistic thing? We fucking have that, man. And no matter what happens, you realize tomorrow how much of an assclown I am and find better friends, I'll never regret the time I got with you, ‘cause a little time as your friend is better than anything else in the world. Even a threesome with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.” He leaned down and kissed Cas’s forehead. “I love you, man.” _

 

_ Cas knew that Dean meant it in a platonic way, but those words were exactly what he needed to hear in that moment. Dean had never told him that he loved him before, but nevertheless he could feel it was true. They had been one heart and one soul right from the first day they met. He couldn't picture his life without Dean. And even if he wanted their relationship to be more than friends, he was content with the way things were. Dean was right, their friendship was special. And he wouldn't give that up for anything. He gave Dean a soft smile. "I know." _

 

_ Dean barked out a laugh. “Way to Solo me…” _

 

* * *

 

"So now you know why I'm like this and why I don't do 'normal' relationships. It's incredibly difficult for me to trust someone, to open my heart to anyone. I swore to myself that I will  _ never  _ let anyone go through what I went through. Trust, consent, and care in this type of relationship is even more important than in a vanilla one.”

 

_ Damn.  _ Everything started to make sense. No wonder Cas avoided any kind of real relationships. Dean really was screwing himself over with his feelings. Cas wasn’t going to ever want a real relationship and Dean needed to accept that, instead of constantly pushing their boundaries. “I’m surprised you even wanted to continue to try anything.”

 

"I'm still a man and I like sex... a lot. Of course I needed some time after all that. But then I discovered I had fun being dominant and that it was really relaxing for me. I didn't feel afraid anymore.” Cas let his fingers slide over Dean's arm. "So that’s what I do now."

 

He didn’t want to ask his next question, but he needed to know. “Did you ever file a police report?” Dean still couldn’t bring himself to say the word ‘rape’. 

 

Cas shook his head slowly. “No… I know I should have. God forbid should that happen to me again, I  _ would  _ go the police. But I was so young, he was rich and powerful – hell, he even had me sign a contract. It wouldn’t have gone anywhere and honestly? I just didn’t feel brave enough to go through all the consequences trying to pursue charges would have brought. In the end, it was his word against mine, and I felt so ashamed. I even thought it might have been my own fault.”

 

Dean gently grasped Cas’s chin and forced him to look up. “Being fucking raped is  _ not  _ your fault. It never was and never will be. And I swear on my goddamn life, if I  _ ever  _ see this fuck, I  _ will  _ kill him.” He wasn’t joking. Going down for murder would suck, but he’d have no fucking qualms doing it.

 

Cas stared at him quietly for a moment, before he suddenly surged forward and kissed him. A kiss that felt like everything all at once; soft but passionate, quick but intense. Cas leaned his forehead against Dean's, his voice just above a whisper, "I love you."

 

The urge to make light of everything was overwhelming, but Dean couldn’t bring himself to do it. He carded his hand through Cas’s hair and smiled. “Ditto.”

 

Cas pushed Dean on the bed and slid over him, kissing him deeply again as he cupped Dean's cheek. He leaned back after a moment, breathing heavily. "Oh, man. We should get up. Otherwise, I can guarantee nothing."

 

Dean chuckled. “Would probably be a good idea to get some food in us.”

 

Cas hummed in agreement, but made no attempt to move off of Dean. He tilted his head thoughtfully. “I think I have drastically underestimated how difficult it is to get out of this bed with such a beautiful temptation lying under me."

 

“Don’t even lie, you’re just lazy,” he teased. Dean got it though. The thought of staying in bed all damn day was very appealing, especially with a damn fine man draped over him.

 

"Ugh." Cas let his weight drop down on Dean, burying his face against his shoulder. He sounded muffled as he said, "You got me."

 

“And I always will,” Dean mumbled into his hair, content to stay like this for fucking ever.

 

**…. :::: :::: …..**

 

Cas had never felt so anxious before a scene. He hoped everything he had planned for today would be enjoyable for Dean and meet his imagination. It wasn't a scene like any other. He wanted Dean to see that he could trust him fully and he would also take the entire rest of the day to worship Dean's body, show him how much he loved him. He would never be brave enough to just tell Dean how he really felt, but at least this way he could express his feelings.

 

After breakfast he had dropped Dean at home with instructions for later and then went shopping. He got a lot of healthy food, chocolate, and wine before he went to a sex toy store to get some supplies for the afternoon. 

 

The last twenty minutes, after he had finished all of the preparations, he was pacing up and down his apartment like a caged lion, waiting for Dean to knock on his door.

 

He was relieved that Dean still wanted to do this with him, even now that he knew what had happened to Cas in the past. He still wanted him even though Cas felt like damaged goods. The thing was, Dean was the  _ only  _ person Cas could imagine a relationship with, not only because he loved him, but because he trusted Dean. Unconditionally.

 

His heart stumbled when he heard the knock on the door, not losing a single second before opening it. "Hello, Dean," he greeted his friend with a smile before he let him in. It had been just a few hours since they last saw each other, but in Cas's mind it had already been too long. He pulled Dean into a soft kiss, carding his fingers through his hair. When he leaned back he grinned. "Your lips should come with a warning. They are terribly addictive."

 

Dean returned the grin and waggled his eyebrows. “First taste’s free, then you gotta pay…” He leaned into Cas's space and kissed him again, a soft kiss, but their lips lingered. Crowding his space, Dean moved into the apartment, eyes darting around. “So, what’d you get me?”

 

"Curious, huh? That's good." Cas smiled contentedly as he put the collar on Dean, sliding his finger lovingly over his throat, before attaching a leash to the collar. "First things first."

 

He pulled Dean after him to the living room, where he let go of the leash and sat down on the couch. "I want you to take off your clothes  –  slowly. And when you're done, get into the standing position."

 

With a genuine smile, Dean nodded and began to slowly unbutton his shirt, making it a point to not break eye contact with Cas as he did so. While Dean didn’t appear to be intentionally giving Cas a strip tease, there was definitely an air of seduction in the way he shrugged out of his clothes. And, just as promised, Dean had come commando. 

 

Now completely nude, Dean got into his standing position. Eyes downcast and hands behind his back.

 

Cas got off of the couch after a few moments, walking around him, just watching before he stepped close behind him and kissed the back of his neck. Cas tied a silky blindfold around Dean's eyes. "Stay here." He breathed against his neck, before he went to the kitchen with an excited wide smile.

 

**.... :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean felt way more exposed with a blindfold on than he thought possible. A tremor of excitement coursed through him. While he'd had his fair share of kinky sex in the past, it had never quite been on this level before. Hell, he'd never been blindfolded before.

 

The fact that he literally had no idea what was about to happen was almost as much of a turn on as knowing he was doing this with Cas.

 

He heard Cas coming back, stopping right in front of him. He could feel warmth radiating from his body before something was tenderly slid over his lips. "Open your mouth." 

 

Dean did as instructed when Cas slid said something into his mouth. He tenderly bit down, instantly recognizing the taste of a strawberry as the juice attacked his tastebuds. And considering the fruit was out of season, he was pleasantly surprised how damn sweet it was.

 

After he swallowed, Cas kissed him, licking into his mouth and over his tongue. He hummed into the kiss. "These are really good strawberries. Would you like another one?"

 

Dean nodded. “Please, Master.” It was kind of great how much better the strawberries tasted after Cas’s kiss. 

 

Cas pressed another strawberry to his lips. "Feed me half of it with your mouth."

 

Holding the fruit between his teeth, he leaned forward, which was pretty disorienting. He had no idea where Cas  _ was  _ exactly, if he was even heading in the correct direction. Dean was thankfully aided by Cas’s hand guiding him by his cheek. The juice dribbled down his chin as Cas bit into the fruit. All Dean wanted was to kiss Cas again, but without his Dom’s permission, that would be a damn foolish thing to do.

 

Cas licked and kissed the juice from his chin and his lips before he kissed him again. Dean groaned into the contact, his hands itching to grab onto Cas, but he wasn’t about to disobey him.

 

When Cas leaned back, he tugged on Dean's leash. "Follow me. You can lay a hand on my shoulder for guidance." Dean knew Cas's apartment like the back of his hand, so he knew that they were going to Cas's bedroom. It was only slightly disorienting, being led anywhere without the ability to see. Blindly grasping for Cas's shoulder, the solid warmth under his palm was as much an anchor as it was a guidance.

 

"Stand here, pet," Cas commanded softly before he left him to get something. Dean could hear him walk around him, his fingers sliding across his back and down to his ass, dipping into the crack to teasingly stroke over his hole. Cas kissed the back of his neck again and grabbed Dean's right hand behind his back, holding it firmly as he looped a rope around his wrist. He pulled it tight, the knots on the rope put pressure on his pulse point. It didn't hurt, but it felt intense. Cas kissed his shoulder. "I advise you to not struggle against the ropes when I'm done. They will tighten if you try."

 

“Yes, Master,” he breathed out, his heart beating so fast he almost wondered if Cas could hear it.

 

Cas was surprisingly fast as he continued to tie the rope around him, with practiced and quick movements. He drew the rope around the outside of Dean’s left arm before he pulled and moved it over his right shoulder, then around his chest. Dean could feel pressure from additional knots in the rope pressing against his nipples. He couldn’t repress a groan from such contact as Cas continued to tie the rope around him. When he tied his left arm over his right against his back and pulled, Dean could feel how restricted he was. There was no way he could get out of this.

 

Cas walked to Dean's side and put one hand on his chest, the other on his back, as he bent Dean over, helping him rest his upper body against a hard surface that Dean suspected was Cas’s desk. He could hear something rattling before Dean’s bound arms were pulled slightly upwards to chain them to something. Cas hummed, his fingers tracing Dean's ass. "I want you to tell me if, or when, your fingertips start to tingle, pet. Can you do that?"

 

“I can, Master.” While the position wasn’t all that comfortable, the thrill of the unknown, of the possibilities, were so arousing, he could feel the precome on his dick already start to accumulate.

 

"Good. Now spread your legs for me."

 

There was something hard and cold, it felt like a metal bar, that forced his legs to be spread even wider as Cas attached it to each of his ankles. And suddenly the memory of what Cas had sent to Abby rushed to the forefront of his mind. A tiny flash of guilt struck, but it was overwhelmed by the sheer excitement he was feeling.

 

Cas spread his ass cheeks roughly with his fingers before he started to lick over his hole, pushing his tongue inside Dean without any warning.

 

Dean let out a sound that was a cross between a yelp and a moan. Cas hummed against him, his tongue teasing his rim, before he let go and Dean could hear the click of a bottle opening. Cas fondled Dean's balls with one hand when he roughly pushed a lubed finger inside, instantly aiming for Dean's prostate.

 

“Fuck…” Dean hissed, the onslaught of pleasure easily muting any pain from Cas’s roughness.

 

He could feel Cas leaning over him, letting go of his balls before he held something against his lips. "Open up. I want you to lick this toy. Make it wet for me."

 

Opening his mouth, he could feel it was pliable and softer than hard plastic. Definitely cock shaped. Dean worked his mouth around the toy like it was his goddamn destiny, letting his saliva pool to make the toy ridiculously wet.

 

Cas added a second finger, this time more carefully, even teasingly slow. He tapped his prostate every time his fingers dipped in, while he slowly scissored him open. His other hand that was holding the toy started to move in a slow rocking motion that gradually quickened as he pushed the toy deeper in Dean's mouth.

 

In that moment, he suddenly saw the appeal of fucking multiple people at the same time. Cas was more than enough for him, but if it was something he wanted to do with Dean, he’d be less inclined to say no now.

 

Cas hummed. "You're such a good little cockslut. I can't wait to fuck you."

 

He roughly fucked Dean's mouth with the toy a few more times before he pulled it out of his mouth at the same time he removed his fingers from his ass.

 

Dean whimpered, he out and out  _ whimpered  _ at the simultaneous loss. 

 

"You're so needy, my little pet. Do you want to get filled again?" Cas chuckled as he slid his fingers teasingly over his rim.

“Please, Master,” he begged. There was this intense rush that came with succumbing to unadulterated need and verbalizing it. Dean was kind of loving how desperate Cas made him.

 

"Please what? Tell me what you need," Cas raked his fingernails over Dean's ass, before he slapped one of his cheeks.

 

“I need to get filled. I need your cock,” he practically whined.

 

"You will get my cock when I'm done, as long as you haven't come from the toys I'm going to fuck you with." Cas roughly shoved the toy inside Dean’s hole and started to fuck him with it at a fast and hard pace. His other hand gripped one of Dean’s ass cheeks so hard, it would probably leave a bruise. 

 

Dean cried out, his vision unable to white out from the black ensconcing him in darkness. He swore every sensation was definitely enhanced with his sight being obscured. It was dirty and terrifying, and utterly amazing. When the toy struck his prostate, he would have collapsed if he wasn’t being propped up like the fuck toy he was.

 

He felt something cold, hard plastic, being pressed against his lips as Cas leaned over him again. "Lick this, pet. This is the next thing going in your ass." 

 

He opened his mouth, enjoying the slight stretch of his lips as he wrapped them around the wider toy. Moaning against the intrusion in his mouth from the way Cas continued to pump the other toy in his ass. Dean was a little surprised how much he wanted Cas to throat fuck him with the toy, the way he had the night before with his dick.

 

As if Cas had heard him, or magically knew his thoughts, he started to push the toy deep in his mouth, fucking him with it. "You're doing so good. Yes, open that needy mouth wide. Take it all in." Cas was breathing heavily, obviously very turned on by what he was seeing.

 

Dean hummed around the toy, it was a little more difficult to deepthroat hard plastic than a pliable cock or dildo, but Rhonda taught him well. At least, from the way Cas's heavy breathing felt like it was surrounding him.

 

When Cas pulled the toy out of his mouth, he continued to fuck him with the other toy for a while longer, even pushing his fingers in alongside the dildo. 

 

And then he suddenly stopped. Dean could hear him open the zipper of his jeans, as he slowly pulled the toy out and spread more lube around his rim and inside of him with his fingers.

 

If he could have arched into the touch, he would have. Dean was trembling with need, loving that he was so restricted in his movement. The knots of the rope putting a pleasurable pressure on all of the right spots. Cas could do anything to him, and he kind of hoped he would.

 

Cas slowly pushed the thicker toy inside him, a toy that Dean soon learned was actually a vibrator, as Cas turned the thing on the moment it was deep enough to reach his prostate. 

 

“Oh, fuck,” he panted. The combination of the larger toy and its vibrating was making him see stars. 

 

He could feel tight leather straps being tied around his thigh and waist to hold the vibrator in place as Cas let go. He pulled Dean sideways onto the desk, so his head was no longer on the surface. Cas grabbed his chin and held his head up. "Open your mouth. You can suck my cock now."

 

Dean parted his lips, far too eager to have a cock slammed down his throat. Especially Cas's. His Master didn't make him wait long. He grabbed Dean's head and pushed his thick erection in, to the hilt. Dean could already taste the precome on his tongue as Cas slowly fucked into his mouth. Cas let out a sensual moan, using one of his hands to card it lovingly through Dean's hair. 

 

"I love using your mouth as a fuckhole. You take it so good," Cas praised him with a low moan. He tightened his grip around Dean's head as he quickened his pace, thrusting harder, deeper, and faster with each movement.

 

Dean smiled around the cock thrusting in his mouth, feeling pleased at the praise. And he still had a trick up his sleeve. When Cas paused his movement for just a moment, Dean snaked his tongue past his lips and tongued his Master’s balls.

 

Cas pulled away from Dean's mouth with a deep moan. "Oh, fuck. You're so good with your mouth, but I don't want to come yet."

 

He wasn’t sure what he should do then, whether he should try to give less good head, or what… “What would you like, Master?”

 

"Hold still for a moment and open your mouth," Cas breathed out, sounding like he was really close to coming as he leaned over and upped the setting of the vibrator. "Don't use your tongue, just take my cock for a while longer."

 

The weight of Cas’s cock in his mouth and not being able to use his tongue was causing his salivary glands to go into hyperdrive. The saliva pooling in his mouth began to seep from the sides of his mouth, coating his chin in the warm wetness.

 

Cas grabbed his head and fucked his mouth deep and slow again, before he pinched Dean’s nose so he couldn't breathe.

 

The urge to struggle, to fight against the lack of oxygen was one of those terrible, yet strangely arousing things that Cas kept opening him up to. He seriously never thought choking would be something he’d like, but as he started growing dizzier and light-headed, it sent a shivery spike of arousal to his dick.

 

Cas moaned as Dean choked on his cock and released him to breathe again. He pulled out of Dean's mouth, breathing heavily as he murmured, "I have another surprise for you."

 

He slowly removed his blindfold and the first thing Dean was greeted with was Cas’s cock, just a few inches from his face. Dean licked his lips, the vibrator was still massaging his prostate and he thought he was slowly going mad with need and want. Cas grabbed his erection and smeared the precome over Dean's lips with a deep groan. "You look so beautiful with my come on your face."

 

_ Not as beautiful as you look all hours of the damn day.  _ Dean might have been embarrassed by his thought if he wasn't so completely fucked up on what Cas was doing to him.

 

He pulled away from Dean and walked around him, starting to untie his feet. "You see my window, right? Do you want to give my slutty neighbor from across the street a good show? She really likes to watch me fuck my toys. Sometimes she even shows me her tits."

 

Dean felt breathless, and not just because he'd been choked. He'd never done anything like this in his life. And to be claimed, dominated in such a public way… it fucking thrilled him. Unable to speak, scared he might stutter, he nodded to his Master his consent.

 

"I didn't hear you, pet," Cas scolded him lightly as he unhooked his hands.

 

“Yes, Master. I want you to give your neighbor a show,” he panted, voice only slightly cracking from the abuse to his throat.

 

Cas tenderly bit his earlobe, kissing down his throat before he bit Dean's shoulder. "Good." He helped Dean up from the desk before he guided him to the window. A window that went all the way down to the floor and wouldn't hide  _ anything.  _ He would be completely on display and the only thing standing in between him and the glass was a low ottoman. 

 

Cas walked around him, resting his head on his shoulder as he pointed at the window. "There she is. You see her, with her binoculars? I bet she’ll start touching herself any minute now."

 

Dean wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Maybe an old, spinster woman who lived surrounded by loneliness and cats. Not a woman likely in her late twenties, fairly attractive, blonde hair, almost cherubic face from what he could see. She lowered her binoculars to wave. Dean’s cock throbbed with excitement.

 

Cas let his hands slide down Dean's back as he quickly undid the rope, pulling it off of him. Only then did Dean feel just how straining they had been, how much his muscles hurt and the skin burned where the rope and the knots had been pressing down. "Kneel down on the ottoman and get into the examination position."

 

Without a second thought, Dean managed to balance himself in the examination position on the ottoman. The furniture was sturdy, but not quite wide enough for him to spread his legs as much as Cas liked. It didn't seem to faze Cas though when he came back from his quick walk to the desk to get the lube. He opened the straps on Dean's thigh and fucked him with the vibrator a few more times, before he slowly pulled it out of him. Only to push two lubed fingers inside of him, continuing to prod his prostate. "Look at her, toy. Look how she’s watching how I take you."

 

The woman was holding her binoculars with one hand, the other clearly playing with the nipples of her exposed breasts. It was, hands down, the hottest thing he had ever fucking seen. Knowing she was touching herself from the way Cas was using him… Dean was so done with any other kind of sex. He moaned outright as Cas continued to finger fuck him, stretching him.

 

[ ](https://i.imgur.com/DvR7JHG.jpg)

 

Cas added a third finger, stretching his hole wide as Dean felt something warm and wet dribbling over his rim and into his hole. Cas leaned over him and purred, “I’m going to fuck you now.” 

 

Dean moaned, arching against the fingers, unable to wait a second longer to be filled by his Master.  _ Fuck. _ He really  _ was  _ a needy cockslut.

 

Cas pulled his fingers out and Dean could hear him gasp before he felt the head of his slick cock push lightly and teasingly against his rim.

 

“Master, please, please…” he begged, needing to feel anything… everything.

 

Cas gripped Dean's hips as he finally pushed his cock all the way into him without hesitation. He let out a low moan as he stilled his movement for a moment, completely sheathed to the hilt. "Fuck, you feel good. So hot and tight. You're allowed to come when I fuck you. Don't hold back. I want to hear you."

 

“Am…” Dean exhaled, feeling overwhelmed with lust and sensation. “Am I allowed to speak freely, Master?”

 

“Of course, pet." Cas tenderly stroked over his back. "What is it?"

 

“I just wanted to know...” He groaned as Cas moved slightly, causing his vision to blur a little. “Just wanted to know if you want me to say all the filthy things in my head.”

 

Cas wrapped his fingers tightly around Dean's neck and pulled him up, flush against him. He squeezed his throat, making it hard to breathe as he leaned over to his ear and growled, "Yes, I want to hear  _ all  _ of it." He let his other hand slide over Dean's chest, pinching his nipple, hard.

 

“Fuck! Oh, god, I need you to fuck me, I need to feel you, fucking… Goddamn it I need to be fucking split on your dick,” Dean panted, filthily begging and pleading for Cas to completely dismantle him.

 

The begging was met with an ardent growl before Cas bent Dean over, grabbing his neck with one hand to forcefully hold him down as he gripped his hip with the other. He didn't start slow, but immediately pulled his cock nearly all the way out before he slammed into Dean, again and again, pace gradually increasing in speed and intensity.

 

"If you want to come with my cock in your ass, you should do it soon," Cas breathed out between gasps, the hand on Dean's throat slowly sliding back over Dean's back to grip Dean's other hip.

 

Dean arched his hips into the movement, grunting, “Then I need you to fuck me harder, Master.”

 

Cas groaned, pounding so hard and fast into Dean that his balls brutally slapped against his ass. One of Cas's hands wandered to Dean's hair again and gripped it tightly, yanking it before he wrapped the hand around Dean's throat, pulling him up. Dean's hole tightened with the new position.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” he mumbled in between pants and moans that seemed to be in synch with every single thrust. Cas rammed his cock into Dean at a frenetic and vicious pace, whiting out his vision. When each thrust slammed into his prostate, Dean was almost screaming his moans were being wrenched from him so forcefully.

 

Cas let his hand slide down over Dean's torso, pinching his nipples on his way down to grab Dean's balls.

 

And suddenly everything seemed to slow down as the heat coiling in his groin spread throughout his entire body, Dean’s come coating the window in front of them as he gasped out Cas’s name.

 

Cas fucked him through the waves of pleasure a while longer before he pulled out of him with a rough, "Get up."

 

Dizzy with everything, Dean stumbled to stand up on slightly shaky legs from the strength of his orgasm.

 

Cas kicked the ottoman roughly to the side. "On your knees, sideways to the window," Cas gasped out, cock in hand, slowly stroking it.

 

Dean obeyed, now in a new position, looking up at Cas with wide and questioning eyes.

 

Cas carded his fingers through Dean's hair before he gripped it to hold his head in place, continuing to stroke himself in front of his face. "I'm gonna paint your face with my come now. Close your eyes."

 

His eyelids fluttered closed, weirdly excited and anticipating the wet heat that could strike his face in any haphazard pattern. Either way, painting him in a debauched and utter sexual deviance that made Dean feel more alive than he would have ever thought possible.

 

Cas gasped and Dean could feel hot come hit his cheek, forehead, lips, and chin. Some of it even dripped down his chest. Cas let out a low moan as he rubbed his cock over Dean’s cheek and lips, spreading his come everywhere.

Dean licked his lips, eyes still firmly closed, getting a little lost in the taste of Cas. When he came down his throat the day before, he didn’t really get to taste him. It was a little intoxicating, bitter enough that it was clearly come, but something so uniquely Cas, Dean was completely mesmerized.

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean's lower lip. "Look at me."

 

Dean tentatively opened his eyes, turning to look up at his Master. Cas was breathing heavily, staring down at Dean like he was a miracle. "If you could see you now... You look breathtaking like this." He tenderly carded his fingers through Dean's hair. "You did so good. So obedient and open for me."

 

The praise made him feel a tingle of another kind of pleasure. Something akin to contentment. Dean smiled. “I’m just glad to have pleased you, Master.”

 

Cas returned the smile and dragged a finger through the come on Dean's cheek, holding it against Dean's lips. "Here, have some more."

 

Dean sucked the digit into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, humming contentedly.

 

Cas carded his fingers through Dean’s hair for a moment. "Such a good little fucktoy." He grabbed the leash hanging down from Dean’s collar. “Wave goodbye to the nice lady, you’re getting washed now."

 

He turned to look at the window and tentatively waved at the woman. She was either waving back, or fanning herself, Dean couldn’t be sure. 

 

"Get down on all fours and follow me like the pet you are,” Cas commanded and pulled gently on the leash as he also waved goodbye to his neighbor.

 

Dean was actually a little grateful that he was being forced to crawl, because after that fuck session, he wasn’t entirely sure he would have full control of his legs anyway. As almost humiliating being led on a leash was, again, Dean felt a thrill over the depravity of it all.

 

Cas led him to the bathroom where he pulled the leash off. “Do you think you can stand?” he asked softly.

 

Carefully and steadily, Dean moved to stand. He grabbed the counter to brace himself, taking a deep breath before finally standing straight. He smiled at Cas over his small success.

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him and kissed his shoulder before he guided him towards the shower. He turned on the water, letting it run for a while so it would get to the right temperature. “Put your arms around my shoulder.”

 

He loved how drastically different Dom Cas was from aftercare Cas. He felt incredibly safe and just… taken care of. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck, remembering to not try to kiss him this time, despite the fact that was all he wanted in that moment.

 

Cas pulled him under the water, immediately soaping up a sponge that he rubbed soothingly over Dean's shoulders and chest with a soft smile playing around his lips. He looked up at Dean, kissing the tip of his nose. "Close your eyes."

 

Ever the obedient sub, Dean complied, letting out a soft sigh as his eyes closed.

 

Cas tenderly brushed over his face with the sponge, cleaning his forehead, cheeks, and chin before he pulled him closer and kissed him.

 

Dean practically collapsed into the kiss, losing himself entirely to all of the senses a kiss like that can stir. The way the smell of Cas just caused some sort of animalistic need in him, fucking pheromones or something. Taste,  _ fuck.  _ Cas tasted like coffee, and sugar, and something just so beautifully significant. Sound; the way Cas’s breath would hitch, or the almost growl that would escape when he got lost in the kiss. The sight of one of the most beautiful human beings he had ever known with cheeks flushed and lips red and swollen, it was utterly breathtaking. And best of all: touch. When Cas kissed him, it set him on fire, the way the contact tingled through his central nervous system. An electrical nerve stimulation that amplified  _ everything. _

 

He was half tempted to ask Cas if their next scene could just be kissing, but that might give him away too much. 

 

Cas pulled him closer, tangling his fingers into Dean’s hair as he breathed against his lips. “Fuck, I love kissing you. I could do this all day.”

 

“I'm yours to do with as you please,” Dean murmured.

 

"Yes, you are." Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean's lower lip. "But I only want to do things with you that you like as well."

 

“I like everything so far, Master.” Dean was only slightly surprised to realize he meant it. Now whether it was because he was deeply depraved, or because he just liked doing it with Cas, he couldn't be sure.

 

"I'm very glad to hear that," Cas murmured softly before he kissed him again, while he slid the sponge over Dean's back.

 

Everything felt intensified as Cas continued to take care of him in every way possible. He was a little dizzy with how much he loved what was happening between them.

 

After the shower, they went back to Cas’s bed. Cas fed him strawberries, chocolate, and wine, all while holding him in his arms and tenderly letting his fingers slide over Dean’s body. “How are you feeling? Any pain?” Cas asked softly, kissing the top of Dean’s head.

 

“I’m a little sore, but it’s no worse than a rough night at work,” he answered honestly.

 

"The bondage technique I used on you can be very hard on the body. That's why I didn't leave you in it for too long. And I fully intend to give you a nice, long massage if you want," Cas offered in between kissing Dean's shoulder and neck.

 

Dean smiled, feeling a little punchdrunk from the happiness he was feeling. “I love your massages, but I’m good with just kind of staying like this for a little longer.”

 

"That works for me." Cas grinned against Dean's shoulder before he pulled Dean down on the bed and into his arms, kissing down his throat to his chest. He circled Dean's nipple with his lips and tongue, sucking at it lightly.

 

Carding his hand through Cas’s hair, he arched up into the sinful mouth of his best friend. “Fuck… you’re insatiable.”

 

Cas chuckled, before he focused his attention on his other side. "It's your fault. You can't even stop looking sexy and irresistible for one minute?"

 

“Said the guy who’s sex on legs.” 

 

"You over-egg the pudding." Cas slid lower on the bed, kissing down Dean's body, nuzzling his nose lazily against Dean's stomach before he looked up in shock. "Oh, no. I just used a Balthazar phrase. I've been hanging out with the guy too much." 

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “What the fuck is, ‘over-egg the pudding,’ anyway?”

 

“It means you’re exaggerating. If I start wearing v-neck shirts, please shoot me.” Cas chuckled, his kisses trailing lower and lower on his stomach.

 

“Dunno, I think you could rock the look,” he teased. Honestly, Cas could rock any look. But Dean was a  _ little  _ biased.

 

Cas looked up from kissing Dean for a moment, regarding him with a smile. "Me? No. You, on the other hand, could wear a potato sack and still look sexy. I have photos from Halloween a few years ago that is proof of that. Also… how do you even do that? Looking good in every photo that’s been taken of you... It’s like your super power."

 

He gave Cas a goofy grin before he schooled his expression into something more serious. “There’s a portrait of me aging and looking worse and worse every year, actually.”

 

"That makes a lot of sense now that I think about it... So, your real name is Dorian Gray?" Cas asked with a playfully frightened expression.

 

“That’s  _ Mr.  _ Gray to you.” Dean winked at him. 

 

"I hope you don't intend to show me your portrait and murder me afterwards," Cas commented before he continued his path down Dean’s torso with his lips, sucking at his hipbone.

 

Dean almost made a joke about causing him to fall in love with him and ruining him forever, but it rang far too true in his head. What an inconvenient time to have a fucking epiphany. Dean wanted Cas to fall in love with him. Because he was in love with his best friend.  _ Fuck. _

 

He needed to refocus, to not turn into the spazz he was fast going to turn into if he didn’t get a hold of himself. As Cas continued to trail down his body, Dean stared up at the ceiling and tried to not have a goddamn panic attack over his realization.

 

Cas’s doorbell ringing couldn’t have come at a better time. Dean and Cas shared a confused look, before he asked, “You order food or something?”

 

“No.” Cas slid from the bed and pulled on his boxer briefs, that were slightly tented from their little kissing session. Cas seemed to notice it, too, because after a moment, he pulled on a black, silky bathrobe. "I'll see who it is and make them go away."

 

Dean nodded dumbly as Cas disappeared. He sat up and folded his arms against his knees. Shaking his head at himself. This whole fucking thing was supposed to quell his crush on his best friend… and instead he fell in love with the guy. He fell in love with a guy who doesn’t do romance, doesn’t do real relationships, and understandably so.

 

Dean was fucked. And not in the positive, life-affirming way.

 

Cas interrupted his thoughts by standing in the doorway with wide, shocked eyes. “Get dressed! It’s Sam.”

 

Jumping from the bed like a kid caught making out with their boyfriend, he frantically searched for his clothes. “The fuck is Sam doing here?”

 

Cas shrugged and grabbed his jeans to quickly pull them on. “He was looking for you. You weren’t home, so he came here.”

 

His thoughts were frantic and he felt stupid panicked, so to add insult to injury, realization dawned on him in that moment, too. “Fuck. My clothes are in the living room. Where we left them... after you had me strip...” Dean scrubbed his hand over his face as he sat down on the bed. 

 

“Oh, shit,” Cas murmured before he went to his closet and pulled out some clothes for Dean. “Wear this. I mean, Sam will probably see your clothes in the living room, but at least you won’t be naked.”

 

Dean chuckled to himself as he shrugged on Cas’s shirt. “Dude isn’t stupid. He’s gonna know, Cas.”

 

“What should we tell him if he asks?” Cas shot Dean a questioning, hesitant look before he pulled on a shirt from his closet as well.

 

As he pulled up Cas’s sweat pants, he sighed. They were fucking adults. It was such a stupid concept to hide shit from Sammy, in any form. It wasn’t like they were in a  _ real  _ relationship. They were best friends with benefits, lots of people do that these days. He pointedly ignored the pang of pain he felt at the thought. “We tell him the truth. We’re friends who started fucking.”

 

Cas's expression was hard to decipher for a moment before he nodded hesitantly with a deep sigh. "Okay."

 

Dean approached Cas and pulled him close. “Hey, we don’t have to give him details or anything if it comes up. The sort of sexual relationship we have is between you, me, and your weird neighbor, okay?” He smiled, chucking Cas’s chin playfully.

 

Cas gave him a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Meg isn't weird. She just has a special kink."

 

He really hoped he hadn't fucked up by trying to label what they had. Cas was clearly uncomfortable. Dean needed to start acting like a best friend and not a goddamn girlfriend. He took a deep breath and playfully quirked his brow. “So, she has a kink for watching her neighbor fuck people?”

 

“Not just her neighbor. People in general,” Cas amended with a shrug.

 

Dean looped his arm over Cas's shoulder. “Guess she lucked out moving next to you.”

 

Cas nodded with a smile. “We have a pretty neat arrangement.”

 

“Wait, did you give her a heads up about today?”

 

Cas chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Did you really think I would leave it to chance?”

 

Dean let out a surprised scoff. “What if I said no?”

 

“Then she wouldn’t have gotten her show. It happens.”

 

“Guess it's a good thing I'm such a slut, huh?” he sassed.

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean’s lower lip, before he gave him a quick, dirty kiss. "I totally lucked out," Cas breathed out against his lips.

 

Before Dean could show him how lucky, his brother called out for them from the other room. He rolled his eyes. “Come on.”

 

As they entered the living room, Sammy was sitting on Cas's couch, Dean’s clothes to the right of his feet. He was sipping a beer. “Knew I could find you here.”

 

“And what was your emergency you had to come find me?”

 

“Oh, no. First of all! Is there anything you want to tell me, Dean? I mean...” Sam looked down at the pile of clothes. “I bet there’s a good reason for your clothes being on the ground.” 

 

Dean looked at Cas and smirked as he turned back to his brother. “Had to fix the plumbing.”

 

Cas groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. Sam chuckled before he suddenly froze. “Is… is that a collar around your neck?”

 

“Shit!” Dean cursed as he fumbled to take the damn thing off. He held it out to Cas and folded his arms over his chest in defiance. “What?”

 

Sam couldn't stop laughing, before his laughter morphed into ugly snorting. "You! That is  _ so  _ you. I knew when you two finally got together you would have kinky sex!"

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Can you try to be a little more mature, you dick?”

 

Cas excused himself, probably to hide the collar in their bedroom. Sam was still grinning like an idiot. "Oh, no. This kinda thing is supreme heckling material, for ages!"

 

Moving to sit next to Sam, he hushed him. “Dude, you need to chill the fuck out. And we’re not together, alright?”

 

That stopped Sam’s laughter instantly, but the shocked, disbelieving expression his brother gave him wasn’t much better. “Are you serious right now?”

 

“Yes, so you need to cut that shit out. Yes, we’re fucking, but that’s it.”

 

Sam rolled his eyes. “So, you're telling me you two practically live together, do everything together, share your meals, your problems, have loved each other forever, and now you’re having sex... and you  _ still  _ aren’t a couple?" Sam's tone was dripping with sarcasm.

 

Dean smacked him upside the head. “Keep your voice down. And no. Cas… He doesn’t do relationships, alright?” He tried to keep the bitterness out of his tone, not all that successfully.

 

"Dean, wake up! You’re already  _ in  _ a relationship with him. How can you both be so blind! It’s unbelievable!"

 

“You need to stop yelling.” He sighed, hoping that whatever was taking Cas so long would keep him a little longer. “Listen carefully, ‘cause I’m not gonna repeat myself. Cas. Does not. Do. Relationships. And I respect that. He doesn’t need my bullshit feelings to fuck up a great thing we’ve got going. So, you’re gonna be mature about this and stop trying to push the issue. You get me?”

 

Sam gave him a bitch face and held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, but I’m telling you. I’ve known Cas just as long as you have and I see… we  _ all  _ see how he looks at you. I think you would be his exception. You always are his exception to everything.”

 

The urge to cry and strangle his brother simultaneously was almost overwhelming. He shook his head and let out a mirthless chuckle. “You don’t know him better than me, okay? Just… please, drop it.”

 

“Alright.” Sam sighed deeply. “So, the reason for my visit is Charlie’s Halloween party. And since you don’t pick up your phone, probably because you were too tied up…” Sam chuckled and Dean smacked him upside the head again for that.

 

Cas chose that moment to come back to the living room. “Don’t hit your little brother, Dean. It’s not his fault that he’s got such pretty hair.”

 

He was damn tempted to smack the smug grin off of his brother’s face. Feeling petulant, Dean leaned back against the couch and folded his arms against his chest. “He started it.”

 

“And I’m ending it. Do you want a beer?” Cas asked casually on his way to the kitchen.

 

“Don’t even,” Dean warned as he held a finger up to Sammy’s face. Looking after Cas’s retreating form he answered, “Yeah, Blue Moon if you have it.”

 

“Of course I do. It’s your favorite,” Cas called from the kitchen.

 

Sam shot Dean a wicked grin, whispering, “Married couple.”

 

“I swear to god, dude. I’ll convince Eileen to divorce your ass.”

 

“Not possible. See, we have this thing called, ‘honest and open communication’. You should try it sometime.” 

 

Dean narrowed his eyes at him. “Last thing I need is Cas to stop talking to me ‘cause I’m an emotionally compromised teenage girl, alright? I’m as honest as I can be.”  _ Fuck.  _ He was usually so psyched to see Sam, too. “Anyway, you had to bug us for Charlie’s party?”

 

“Yes, she has some drama going on and I thought we could help her out with the organization this year. I wanted to ask if you and Cas could do some shopping for the party.”

 

“What kind of shopping?” He was totally unable to keep the distrust out of his tone.

 

“Food and stuff… and maybe Cas could make his amazing salad?” Sam asked with a puppy dog look.

 

“Cas?” Dean called out, not expecting him to suddenly appear right behind him over the couch, holding out a beer.

 

“Yes?” Cas dropped a kiss on Dean’s head before he rounded the couch and sat down next to him, though there wasn’t much space left and he practically sat on the couch’s armrest.

 

Moving to lean his arm on Cas’s knee he looked up at him. “Sam is begging for us to take care of the food for Charlie’s party, and he demands your special salad.”

 

Cas wrapped his arm around Dean’s shoulder, looking down at him with a smile. “Sure, I can make the salad again. Does Charlie have a list of what she needs?”

 

Sam cleared his throat. “I can email it to you. I already took half of the things off that Eileen and I are going to buy.”

 

“So, did you seriously drive all the way out here to ask us about the party?” Dean asked, feeling a little concerned for his brother. It wasn’t like him to just try and hunt Dean down unless something was happening. 

 

“And I wanted to see you. We haven’t seen each other for three weeks now. Just wanted to check if you’re alright.” Sam grinned. “Guess I was worried for nothing and you just had better things to do than to hang out with your little brother.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re a freakin’ nerd.”

 

“Says the king of nerds.”

 

“Nope, geeks. We’re a different classification.” Dean started tracing patterns against Cas’s knee absentmindedly. 

 

“How so?” Sam asked with a shit eating grin as his gaze fell to Dean’s hand.

 

The immature part of him want to fuck with Sammy and start getting all handsy with Cas, but the sensible part of Dean kept him from doing so. But damn, it was tempting. He arched his brow in challenge. “Nerds aren’t cool enough to know.”

 

“I bet you’re just saying that because you don’t know either.” Sam grinned and took a swig of his beer.

 

“Maybe, maybe not… You’ll never know either way.” Dean gave him a falsely pleasant smile.

 

Dean could feel Cas's fingers on the back of his neck, gently massaging him. "How's Bones? Eileen texted me that he’s sick."

 

Sam sighed and shook his head. “Better. He ate some grapes from a garbage can. You would think dogs would be smarter than to eat stuff that could poison them.”

 

“In the mutt’s defense, if some of the tastiest things out there were poisonous to me, I’d probably still take the risk…” Dean chuckled.

 

"That's why you need me to look after you." Cas grinned as he carded his free hand through Dean's hair.

 

The temptation to make a joke about Cas being his owner was pretty damn strong, but his dumb brother was sitting next to them. Dean grinned at Sam. “See? Perks of having a doctor for a best friend.”

 

“Husband,” Sam ‘coughed’ into his hand, before he looked up with a grin. “So, what are your plans for tonight?”

 

“Fratricide,” Dean deadpanned.

 

Sam still grinned at him. “No, seriously.”

 

Letting out a sigh, Dean asked, “Did you wanna hang out?”

 

“Not if you have something planned. I don’t want to intrude. But if you both are free tonight, we could meet up later with Eileen and have dinner together.”

 

Dean turned to Cas. “Up to you.”

 

Cas’s answer was slightly reluctant, “Sure, we can meet up later.”

 

Sam seemed to get the message as his grin widened. “I’ll get out of your hair then and text you later.”

 

As they walked his brother to the door, gently closing it behind him, Dean let out a deep sigh and leaned up against the door. He laughed. “Well, that could have gone a lot worse.”

 

"Yes, he could have stayed on the couch for the rest of the day, preventing me from doing this..." Cas braced his hands on the door on either side of Dean's face before he captured his lips in a hungry and dirty kiss, pressing his body against him. "Let's get you back to bed," he panted.

  
Dean couldn’t think of anything better than spending the rest of the afternoon in bed with Cas. Everything else could be put off until later. The dinner with his brother and sister-in-law. Their jobs. Their responsibilities. Dean’s incredibly inconvenient realization that he was in love with his best friend. All that shit could and  _ would  _ wait.


	8. No Matter What

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Possible Trigger Warnings!** for this chapter:  
>  We didn't know how to tag this, but we depict the grief of losing a patient in the line of duty in this chapter. While the actual scene is not depicted, only the emotional aftermath of a first responder, it is in regards to the death of a child. We're warning here in case this may be a trigger for anyone.

**Chapter 8**

 

“Cas, we need to have lunch right now,” Baltazar announced as he burst into Cas’s office, wearing a flamboyant orange scarf and a blue v-neck shirt under his scrubs.

 

“It's not even eleven,” Cas responded as he quickly looked at his watch in confusion.

 

“And still, you have to go  _ now.”  _

 

“If this is about that nurse…”

 

“Naomi’s on the her way to your office and she's on the warpath.”

 

Cas grabbed his jacket. “Where are we going?”

 

“To this new café around the corner. The barista there is hot as hell.”

 

“You’re the horniest person I know.”

 

“I know, isn't it great? I mean for me, not for you. You probably have no sex life at all because you’re still hung up on Dean.”

 

Cas checked the hallway for Naomi before he waved Balthazar to follow him. “Yes, you got me all figured out.”

 

“I can sense the sarcasm, Cassie, but I can tell there’s truth there. He’s not  _ that  _ attractive. Not enough to shut yourself off from at least  _ trying  _ something with someone,” he stated as they ducked into an elevator and Balthazar hit the door-close button repeatedly until the doors shut. 

 

"Actually, he  _ is  _ that attractive. Call me a hopeless romantic, but maybe one day he and I... who knows?" Cas leaned against the elevator wall and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking how much he wished Dean would fall in love with him. And that this thing between them would evolve into something more.

 

Balthazar groaned. “You’re giving me diabetes, you’re so disgusting. You just need to fuck him away. Find someone and stick your prick in them. I promise. You’ll feel better.”

 

"Who says I'm not sleeping with someone?" Cas gave him a smug smirk.

 

As the doors opened, Balthazar halted his exit with a hand against his chest. “Hold the fuck on! You're seeing someone and you're only  _ just  _ telling me?”

 

"A gentleman and all that blah, blah." Cas grinned wickedly, knowing that Balthazar was probably dying of curiosity.

 

“You're not getting away with your coy crap. You can't possibly expect me to just ignore this news, Cassie.”

 

"I don't expect you to ignore it, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell you anything. If more comes of this than just sex, I’ll tell you." Because if Dean and him got together at some point, Cas planned to shout it from the rooftops.

 

“Fine,” he mumbled as he took out his cell phone and started texting.

 

“What are you doing?” Cas asked suspiciously, squinting his eyes at Balthazar.

 

“I'm texting Dean. If anyone knows who you're boffing, it's your beloved,” Balthazar answered, never taking his eyes off of his phone.

 

"Oh, fuck," Cas muttered, attempting to take Balthazar's phone, but the other doctor held it out of reach. “What did you write?"

 

“Who’re you fucking?” he asked in challenge, continuing to hold the phone away until he made a triumphant noise and brought the phone within reach. “Sent it.”

 

"I hate you."

 

Suddenly Cas’s cellphone went off. It was a text from Dean.

 

_ Dean: There a reason your work husband is asking me who you’re bonking? Bonking is fucking right? _

 

_ Cas: Yes it means fucking. B. is nosy just tell him to fuck off. _

_ Cas: HE IS NOT MY HUSBAND! _

 

_ Dean: Now I kind of want to break the news to him. If I send him a pic of my ass, think he’ll get it? _

 

_ Cas: Please don't. I will never hear the end of it. _

_ Cas: No one gets to see your ass. It belongs to me now, pet. ;-) _

 

_ Dean: So, I’m your dirty secret. Got it. _

 

Balthazar’s phone went off and his face lit up with Dean’s response, before a crestfallen look took over. “He said you haven’t told him who you’re fucking. Bugger it, let’s get some food.”

 

Cas sighed in relief before he quickly texted Dean back.

 

_ Cas: Thanks and you're not my secret, Dean. _

_ Cas: Just don't want B. to ask dirty questions throughout lunch. _

 

_ Dean: K _

 

Cas frowned, tilting his head, as he texted back,

 

_ Cas: Are you okay? _

 

_ Dean: Fine. Gotta get to work. Talk to you later. _

 

Cas still didn't feel quite reassured by Dean's message, but he dropped it. 

 

_ Cas: Okay, want to come over tonight? I’m making spaghetti. _

 

_ Dean: Can’t. Working my six straight. _

 

_ Cas: :-( Okay.  _

_ Cas: I will miss you. _

_ Cas: The meatballs are going to miss you too. _

 

"I'm still here, you know?" Balthazar complained. "Seriously, your love for that guy is ridiculous."

 

Cas would have paid attention to his friend, but he got another text from Dean.

 

_ Dean: I bet. Talk to you later. _

 

Cas pocketed his phone with a deep sigh. He wondered if Dean was really just busy or if something was up. He could read between the lines and Dean wasn’t usually this short with him.

 

Balthazar waved his hand in front of Cas’s face. “Oi! I’m here, physically,  _ in person.  _ Stop texting your crush and speak to your friend.”

 

Cas shot him a quick smile. “Yes, sorry. I’m one hundred percent here now. So, tell me, how was your week?”

 

As Balthazar went off on a tirade of yet another woman at work he hit on and who brutally rejected him, it was a miracle the man hadn’t been dragged to HR for sexual harassment yet, Cas found his thoughts still trailing back to Dean.

 

**…. :::: :::: ....**

 

Cas cut a string of spaghetti into a few smaller pieces and draped them over a meatball so it looked like the meatball had a sad face. He snapped a photo and sent it to Dean.

 

_ Cas: Like I told you. The meatballs are very sad.  _

 

He hoped he could make Dean smile with the photo and that he wasn’t too stressed with work. He hadn’t received a single text message from him since the morning, which was unusual for them.

 

_ Dean: They’ll be dead soon too. _

 

Okay. That was pretty dark. 

 

_ Cas: o.o  _

_ Cas: How is work? _

 

_ Dean: It’s work. _

 

Okay, that was the last straw. He hadn’t been sure before, but Dean was obviously having some issues at the moment.

 

_ Cas: Are you angry with me? _

 

_ Dean: No. _

 

_ Cas: Then what’s up with you today? Did something happen? Are you alright? _

 

_ Dean: I’m fine. _

 

Cas slumped down on his couch with a glass of wine, his food forgotten for the moment. He felt frustrated and angry that Dean wouldn't tell him what his problem was. 

 

_ Cas: Sure. Fine. Whatever. Don't talk to me if you don't want to. _

 

_ Dean: Don’t be pissy. _

 

Cas leaned his head against the back of the couch and sighed. He didn't want to say the next words, but he had to.

 

_ Cas: You promised me you would tell me if this between us would damage our friendship. _

 

_ Dean: According to you there isn’t anything, right? _

_ Dean: You know what? Don’t worry about it. _

 

_ Cas: Are you serious right now? Telling me not to worry, when you’re clearly upset with me and won't even tell me why? _

 

Cas drank the rest of his wine in one go before he went to the kitchen and refilled it.

 

_ Dean: You’re an idiot. I’ll talk to you later. _

 

Fine. If Dean didn't want to talk to him, he could do radio silence. He wouldn't run after him like a love sick puppy. If Dean wanted to tell him what his freakin’ problem was, he could do it on his own time. Until then, Cas wouldn't text or call Dean anymore. 

 

_ Fuck him.  _ He emptied his glass again and stared at his food. He wasn't hungry anymore. Maybe he should have taken Balthazar's offer to take him to a strip joint.

 

On the other hand, he didn’t feel like leaving his apartment. So he grabbed the bottle of wine and went to his bedroom, intending to get drunk and maybe have some online fun.

 

He logged into his account on FetLife and read through all of his messages. One of his friends was online. Inias, another Dom he had met nine years ago. They met at a scene event, in which he’d tried to convince Cas to sub for him. While that attempt failed miserably, he was able to get a blow job out of Cas. After that, they would regularly meet up when Cas didn’t have a sub, for occasional threesome scenes, or when he just needed the company of someone who knew their life style. He really liked Inias.

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Hey Inias. How are you? _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: Good. Long time no see. Got a new pet distracting you? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Kind of. Oh man, I’m actually glad you’re online. Do you have time for a chat? _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: For you? Always cupcake. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: :-D Stop flirting, bad boy. _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: Haha, you love it when I do. I’m telling you, there’s a little sub somewhere deep inside of you. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You wish. _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: Yes, I do, but I must contest. You're hot as a Dom. Remember when we DP’d that little cumslut? Still one of my favorite spank bank memories. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: You’re still flirting. Makes me think that maybe there’s a little sub in you? _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: :P  _

_ ChainsNRoses: So what’s the problem buddy?  _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: I have a new sub and he’s my best friend… and I’m secretly in love with him. Have been for like, forever. _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: You’re kidding right? _

_ ChainsNRoses: Fuck, that’s messed up. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Is it? It is, right? Oh man, I’m starting to have second thoughts about this whole situation. What if this messes up my friendship with him? I mean, how do we even get back to a friendship when we know how awesome our sex is??? How am I going to survive it when he moves on with someone else and I don’t get to kiss him anymore or have sex with him or UGH _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: Yo Cas. Stop! You’re totally obsessed. Just chill for a second and try to look at this rationally. Has he said anything? Does he even want to leave you? Or is this just all hypothetical? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: No he hasn’t said anything. But we’re kind of having a fight and I don’t even know why he’s upset with me. I’m afraid he wants to end this. And I don’t feel ready for it.  _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: Hey man, just give it a few days. I mean if you’re friends I’m sure he’ll come around.  _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: Fuck, I just hope I don’t lose him over this. _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: You wanna meet up? Get a drink and maybe have some fun later? You sound like you need a pick me up. And by “pick me up”, I mean a very obedient and flexible three hole whore. _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: As fun as that sounds I have to pass. My sub and I are exclusive. _

_ Steve_Tyler: As long as I have him anyway. _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: Cas be honest with me, are you having a drop? _

 

_ Steve_Tyler: No, I’m just a bit drunk and mopey. Sorry, I didn’t want to worry you. _

 

_ ChainsNRoses: Okay that’s it. You said sorry. I’m coming over. _

_ ChainsNRoses: No buts. _

 

**…. :::: :::: ....**

 

The moment Cas opened the door, he was immediately enveloped in two strong arms. “Hey, Inias,” he greeted him quietly, feeling dizzy and drowsy from the alcohol he had already consumed.

 

Inias pressed his lips against the crown of Cas’s head and murmured, “How much have you drank?”

 

Cas made a vague hand gesture before he led Inias into his apartment. “Um… not enough. You brought whiskey?”

 

He drew back, expression stern, yet still kind. “I did, but now I’m thinking I should make you coffee.”

 

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Come on, don’t be such a killjoy. I want to get really drunk tonight. S’not like I do this very often.”

 

Inias chuckled and let out a resigned sounding sigh. “Fine. Let’s drink until we can’t feel feelings anymore.” He pushed past Cas, grasping his hand to guide him back to the living room. Inias gently pushed him down on the couch. “I’ll grab a couple of glasses and then you can spend the night crying on my shoulder.”

 

Cas made a protesting noise. “Not going to cry… Hey, we could watch old Chuck Norris movies. Dean hates those…” Cas shook his head. He didn’t want to think of Dean at the moment.

 

Inias feigned a gasp. “But… It’s  _ Chuck.  _ I can’t even… Cut him loose.” He was teasing, but it just reminded Cas even more of what was happening between him and Dean in that moment.

 

“Fuck.” He rubbed his eyes when he felt actual tears pooling.

 

“Shit, Cas. That was thoughtless of me,” Inias murmured as he moved to sit next to him, pulling him into a sideways hug.

 

Cas leaned into the hug, wrapping his arm around his friend. “Shit, Inias. What am I going to do? I think I totally fucked up. I don’t… Shit… I should have never agreed to take him on as a sub.”

 

Inias started rubbing soothing circles on his back. “Well, first? We’re going to drink. Then you can pull up one of your video game things and show me how to play or something. Everything else can be put off until tomorrow, okay?”

 

Cas looked thoughtful for a moment. “That sounds like a really good idea. But I’m not going to play a shooter with you. You would probably whip my ass.”

 

“Well, I  _ do  _ get paid to shoot  _ real  _ bad guys.” He smiled and chucked Cas’s chin as he moved to stand up. 

 

Cas hummed. “That will never  _ not  _ sound sexy.”

 

Inias winked and smirked. “I forgot about your uniform kink. Guess it’s a good thing you’ve never seen me in it. You’d definitely forget your no bottoming rule.”

 

Cas laughed, pulling his feet up on the couch as he leaned back. “If someone between the two of us will ever be the bottom, it’s going to be you.”

 

“Keep dreaming, cupcake.” He bent over to kiss the top of Cas’s head again. “Let me grab a couple of glasses, why don’t you set up your x-station?”

 

Cas chuckled. “You’re funny. And you’re not even drunk.” 

 

Inias laughed. “No, but you  _ clearly  _ are. I’m grabbing you some Coke, too. You should probably not take straight shots of whiskey right now.”

 

“Yeah, whatever, buddy.” Cas slid from the couch down onto the rug and crawled forward to his TV to plug in his xbox, grabbing two controllers. He didn’t have many co-op games, so he ended up choosing Left 4 Dead. “You’re lucky. You get to shoot things.”

 

Inias laughed and plopped himself down on the couch after placing the whiskey, a couple of glasses, and a liter of Coke on the table. He sank against the couch, wrapping one of his arms along the back of it. “I shoot guns, Castiel. I can’t imagine it’s even a little bit close to using your controller.”

 

“Course not. You also don’t get much opportunity to shoot zombies in real life.” He threw one of the controllers over to Inias, who caught it effortlessly.

 

He quirked his brow at Cas in challenge. “Didn’t I tell you about the frat that got their hands on some bathsalts?”

 

Cas feigned a laugh, before he crawled over to the couch, remaining on the floor as he leaned against it, making himself cozy between Inias’s legs. He craned his head back to look up at his friend. “Don’t worry. If you get scared, I’ll protect you.”

 

Inias rolled his eyes. “You’re about as terrifying as a kitten in a penguin costume. I’m pretty sure I’m the protector here.”

 

“You’re such a Dom.” Cas chuckled. “Where’s my drink?”

 

“Over on the table, but someone squished himself between my legs before I could fix it for him…”

 

“No idea who you could be talking about… Who would do such a horrible thing?” Cas shook his head and grinned up at Inias.

 

Inias shrugged, pursing his lips in silent bemusement. “Whoever it was, despite saying he’s a Dom, acts like a sub. A lot.”

 

Cas turned around and stood up, hovering over Inias as he braced his hands against his shoulders, effectively pushing him back against the couch. “The only one I see with sub potential is right in front of my nose.”

 

That was met with a challenging eyebrow arch and a smirk. “Baby, you’re about five seconds from crawling onto my lap. That’s  _ all  _ needy sub.”

 

Cas squinted his eyes at him. “You wish.” He turned around and stepped towards the table, looking over his shoulder. “So what do you want? Whiskey, whiskey coke, or whiskey?”

 

Inias chuckled. “Just the whiskey is fine. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

 

Cas tried to concentrate on filling two glasses with whiskey, which was harder than he had anticipated with the glass somehow not holding still and the bottle being weirdly cumbersome.

 

“I should probably help you, but this is kind of fun to watch.”

 

Cas grinned. “Have I ever told you what an awesome, nice friend you are? So incredibly helpful and who would  _ never  _ think about laughing… Oops.” He put the bottle down when one of the glasses spilled over. 

 

Inias shook his head and laughed outright. “You never have and it looks like you never will.” He remained on the couch, clearly content to watch Cas struggle.

 

Managing to balance both glasses in his hand, Cas drank from the too full one, so he wouldn’t spill more as he made his way back to the couch. He promptly stumbled over something, the rug probably, and spilled his drink all over Inias’s shirt and his own hand. “Oh, fuck. Shit. Sorry…”

 

Inias jumped up and laughed again. It was a warm and melodic sound. “No, I believe that’s what they call karma.” He quickly shrugged his t-shirt off, heading into the kitchen. He probably put it in the sink to soak. When he came back, completely shirtless, Cas didn’t quite process he was holding a dishtowel.

 

He approached Cas with an amused smile and gently took his hand, wiping the whiskey off. “How you feeling, clumsy?”

 

Cas grinned up at him. “Suddenly not sorry anymore.” He licked the rest of the whiskey from his wrist, purposely making a show of it.

 

Inias quirked his brow at him. “Cas, you sub.”

 

Cas grinned. “Well, that’s interesting. I just got rid of the spilled whiskey and you think of sex. Why is that?”

 

“You didn't get all of it…” He pointed to his exposed chest.

 

Cas licked over his lips before he slowly leaned forward to whisper into Inias’s ear, “Nice try.”

 

Inias laughed and raised his hands in a surrendering gesture. “You caught me. What can I say? It's been too long since you and I fooled around.”

 

“Yeah, well. I’ll probably be free for that soon again.”

 

“And if you are, that guy’s a dumbass. I'm looking forward to the, ‘sorry we can't fuck around ever again,’ text. I'm hoping he'll be the reason for it, because you deserve to be happy. So let's not worry about that right now, okay?”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile. “Yeah, let’s drink to: ‘not worrying about that right now’. Just FYI, I would totally kiss you right now if…” He made a weary gesture with his hand. “You know, blah blah, blah exclusive... and also I’m craving affection right now for all the wrong reasons and anyway… I’m happy you’ll be there for me if my world collapses.”

 

Inias drew him into a hug. “I'll always be there.” When he pulled back he winked. “And you know the only reason you want to kiss me is because I'm the best kisser you've ever had.”

 

Which wasn’t bullshit or cockiness. Inias was insanely good at kissing. Cas gave him a long, contemplative look. “Yeah. Why is that? I mean, did you make a deal with a demon for that skill? ‘Cause your kisses are insanely good.”

 

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “That's for me to know and you to endlessly wonder about.”

 

“One day I’ll get you to teach me. Because, you know, with great power comes great responsibility.”

 

“Fuck that. I'll use my power for evil. It's more fun.”

 

“But you’re a cop!” Cas gasped, holding his hand over his chest, feigning dismay.

 

Inias grasped Cas’s chin and drew him closer, before sliding his cheek against his face, lips close to his ear as he whispered, “I'm a  _ very  _ bad cop.”

 

Cas couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Does that mean you can’t solve any crimes?”

 

Inias grinned and shook his head. “Nope. Completely fucking useless. They use me for eye candy and when we're not meeting quota, I have to be sent out as a police officer stripper.”

 

“Totally picturing it now, buddy.” Cas gave him a playfully dreamy look and sighed. “Police uniform.”

 

He flicked Cas’s nose. “Stop fantasizing about me in uniform and show me how to kill zombies.”

 

Cas grumpily rubbed over his nose and held up his hands. “Alright, alright. I’m so going to shoot you in your back for that.”

 

“I think you meant to say on. You'll shoot  _ on  _ my back.” Inias winked.

 

“Who’s the sub now?” Cas winked back.

 

“Still you, cupcake.” He pressed a kiss to the tip of Cas’s nose and moved to grab a new drink before settling down on the couch again.

 

Cas stayed on the rug, leaning his head against Inias’s leg as he started the xbox with his controller. “Thanks for coming. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.”

 

He smiled down at Cas, carding his free hand into his hair. “Anytime.” Inias started absentmindedly playing with Cas’s hair, humming a Billy Joel song while he drank his whiskey.

 

Cas closed his eyes, enjoying the comfort of Inias’s touch and company. “That was the first song Billy Joel played at the concert you took me to for my birthday.” 

 

He nodded and started singing,  _ “I know you're only protecting yourself. I know you're thinking of somebody else…” _

 

Cas couldn’t sing as nicely as Inias, so he just hummed along, rubbing his face against Inias’s knee. He felt his eyes drooping a little as he started to relax. Thinking for the first time that maybe there was hope for him. That he could get through this, whatever happened.

 

Inias’s hand trailed down to Cas’s chin, tilting his head upward. “How about we get you into bed? You can cuddle me until you fall asleep and I'll catch the L home, okay?”

 

Cas kissed Inias’s hand and nodded. “Yeah, we can shoot zombies next time. I would probably only shoot... myself right now.” He chuckled, somehow that sounded funny.

 

“Come on, drunky. Maybe if you're good I'll even sing your favorite Joel song.”

 

“I’m always good, handsome.”

 

Inias chuckled then moved to stand, holding his hand out for Cas to take. When he did, he lifted him bridal style and carried him to his bedroom. When Inias got Cas into his bed, he helped him out of his jeans before stripping his own and crawling into the bed. Inias pulled Cas against his chest, rubbing soothing circles on his upper arm. “Get some rest.”

 

Cas hummed a, “Good night.” Already one foot in lala-land. “Thank you.”

 

Instead of answering, Inias softly began to sing,  _ “If you said goodbye to me tonight. There would still be music left to write. What else could I do? I'm so inspired by you. That hasn't happened for the longest time…” _

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean shoved his phone into his pocket, feeling stupidly angry, not just at Cas, but at his own idiotic behavior. Just because Cas didn’t want to announce that they were, whatever they were, to people, didn’t necessarily mean anything. Dean was taking shit way too personally because of his feelings and he felt a little helpless to stop it.

 

He needed a distraction, so he made his way to the day room. Thankfully, he was on with Benny, Aaron, and Chuck tonight. Not that he didn’t like some of the other firefighters, but he had a stronger work relationship and friendship with them. Charlie was his work wife, so she didn’t count.

 

When he slumped onto the couch, Aaron barked out a laugh. “Thought Cas fucked you too hard to sit on any surface.”

 

Dean flipped him off, not even dignifying the comment with a response. He knew his outburst at the fundraiser was going to come back to haunt him, in the form of nosy goddamn colleagues.

 

Chuck moved to sit on the armrest of the couch. “Actually I wanted to ask you about that…”

 

Letting out a deep sigh, Dean mumbled, “No, the ten inches was  _ not  _ an exaggeration.”

 

Chuck’s eyebrows shot up, whereas Benny and Aaron started to laugh. 

 

In the nervous way of his that made him seem more like a meek teenager, instead of one of the best field medics he’d ever seen, Chuck fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt. “I… no, that wasn’t what I wanted to ask. I, uh… I was wondering if you’re gay now?”

 

Dean regarded him with a confused expression. “I’m bi, dude. You know that.”

 

Benny scoffed. “Oh, come on. What does that even mean? That you can’t decide what you like?”

 

“No, fucker. It means I like  _ both.  _ I like fucking dudes and I like fucking chicks.”

 

“Yeah, but if you like, uh… receiving… Doesn’t that make you gay?” Chuck asked, voice hesitant and awkward.

 

Dean scrubbed his hand over his face in aggravation. “Whether or not I take it up the ass has fuck all to do with who I’m attracted to. Okay, well not entirely, but still. I don’t get what you guys are struggling to understand here…”

 

Aaron cleared his throat. “Well, I mean… Isn’t bisexuality kind of not real? It’s just an easy out, right? Until you figure out what you actually are. Gay or straight.”

 

He could throttle the guy. Aaron was gay, he should have, at least, been on Dean’s goddamn side. “See? This is the bullshit that makes it fucking hard for bisexuals to be taken seriously. Some people are attracted to one gender. Some are attracted to two. Some are attracted to all genders. Some aren’t attracted to any. It’s not that fucking difficult. It’s like, we can’t fit in with the gay community because we just haven’t chosen a side out of some internalized homophobia or whatever, and in the straight community we’re just doing it for attention or some bullshit. Bisexuality is real. I am attracted to men  _ and  _ women. End of fucking story.”

 

Benny held up his hands in a defensive gesture. “Chill, man. We were just curious. What’s got your panties in a twist? Trouble in rainbow land?”

 

Dean narrowed his eyes at him. “Funny, asshole.” He sighed, he actually could use a soundboard and he trusted these guys with his life. “And yeah, kinda… Uh… Cas and me actually  _ are  _ fucking. It wasn’t just shit we were saying to mess with that asshole. And I’m being a bitch about things.”

 

“So you two are a real couple now?” Benny asked, sounding surprised.

 

He groaned. “No, he doesn’t  _ do  _ relationships and that’s why I’m fucked up. I’m playing house in my head and he’s just… Fuck, I don’t know. But dude isn’t looking for love.”

 

Aaron let out a sympathetic hiss of pain. “Oh, man. That’s rough…”

 

“You’re tellin–” Dean was interrupted by the alarm for a call. Which was exactly what he needed. To get out there and do something worthwhile, instead of crying over his stupid emotional crap.

 

The four of them quickly grabbed their turnout coats off the hooks and made their way to the apparatus. The dispatcher paged the address and type of call so Chuck and Dean diverted to the bus while Aaron and Benny grabbed the apparatus. Four year old. Unknown downtime in a pool.  _ Fuck.  _ He hoped they got there in time.

 

**…. :::: :::: ....**

 

Cas had a headache. He had no idea how long he had stared into his coffee mug, as if all the answers were somewhere at the bottom of his mug. Inias had stayed until Cas fell asleep, just like he promised, and when Cas woke up, he was gone. Since he didn’t need to work, he had all day to nurse his hangover. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do than stare into his coffee and wait for the pain medication to kick in.

 

He missed Dean. He had no idea what was going on with them at the moment and the uncertainty was driving him nuts. He already tried to get used to the thought of Dean getting ready to end things with him.

 

Why else would he have been so short with him? They didn’t usually fight with each other. He could count how often they fought on maybe two hands for all the time they knew each other. But it had never been like it was now. They usually just yelled at each other, which wasn’t pleasant either, but at least then Cas had knew where he stood with the man.

 

But now everything had a big fucking question mark hanging over it. He could only blame himself really. He shouldn’t have agreed to take Dean on as his sub. His feelings for Dean had influenced that decision and now he was regretting it. 

 

Why had he been so naive to think this would work and he wouldn’t mess it up by being in love with his best friend?

 

Cas scrubbed his hand over his face as he received a text message.

 

_ Inias: Eat some chocolate. Bet you feel even shittier this morning.  _

 

Cas sighed and wondered if Inias had been right, that he was experiencing a drop. It wasn’t something that happened often to a Dom, but it  _ did  _ happen. He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore.

 

He rested his head on the table, groaning over his stupid headache. He didn’t know how long he had just sat there like that, or if he had fallen asleep again when he was startled by a knock on his door. 

 

_ Ugh.  _ If it was some bible thumpers, they were about to get a rude awakening.

 

Cas slowly made it to his door, every step pounding in his head. He would probably scare the living daylight out of the person on the other side of that door with his appearance. A zombie would be a lot sexier. 

 

He opened the door and was shocked to see it was Dean. 

 

He looked awful, bags under his eyes, his  _ red-rimmed  _ eyes, tired… Dean looked as awful as Cas felt. He gave Cas a weak smile. “Hey.”

 

“Hello, Dean,” Cas murmured slowly. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” He had no idea why that was the first thing that came out. But he was still surprised to see him. He was the last person he would have expected to stop by.

 

“Was… Bobby took me off the schedule for the next two days.” He sounded utterly broken. When Dean turned to look up at Cas, his eyes were shimmering with tears. “I know you’re mad ‘cause I was a jackass, but, uh… you said if I ever felt like… like I did before…” His lip trembled and he looked away again, unable to finish his sentence.

 

Without hesitation Cas wrapped Dean in his arms. “Of course. Come in.”

 

Dean nodded against his shoulder and moved towards the couch. Plopping himself down on it, he stared at the coffee table, completely unmoving, not saying anything.

 

“Do you need anything? Coffee?” Cas hesitantly asked.

 

“Got any whiskey?”

 

“Actually, yes.” Cas went to the kitchen and poured Dean a glass of the whiskey Inias had brought over the night before. He handed it to Dean with shaky hands, cursing himself for having such an immense hangover in a moment like this. He sat down on the edge of the couch next to Dean, making sure not to touch him. “What happened?”

 

Dean downed half the glass in one gulp, wiping a couple of errant drops from his lips with the back of his hand. After a deep breath, gaze still focused on the coffee table, he croaked, “I couldn’t save him, Cas.”

 

Cas closed his eyes and looked down. They were used to losing people in their line of work, but sometimes there were cases that just broke your heart. “I’m sorry… What happened?”

 

“He was four…” he breathed out, shaking his head before continuing, “Got into the pool. And he was so fucking blue. Chuck and I, we get him on the damn gurney right away and start coding him. Chuck is trying to tube the kid, but he was a fucking kid, man. And I could actually  _ feel  _ his ribs break with the chest compressions I was giving him.” 

 

Dean let out a mirthless chuckle before he continued, “And his fucking mom is in the front seat with Aaron, no idea that we’re not getting anywhere close to bringing her child back. And even if we did… Fuck…” His head fell in his hands, his body shaking as he appeared to try and quell the tears.

 

“C’mere,” Cas murmured as he pulled Dean against him before he leaned back against the couch.

 

He could feel the shudder as Dean succumbed to his tears, clinging to Cas like a life jacket. Dean wasn’t prone to emotional responses, in their field you had to develop a tough skin. But there were the rare exceptions to every case. To every patient. Cas rubbed soothing circles on his back, just trying to be there for Dean as much as he could. Words were never the answer to the sort of grief and guilt that comes with losing a patient. And when it was a child… That was its own level of Hell.

 

After several minutes of companionable silence, Dean had composed himself. He mumbled against Cas’s chest, “I’m sorry.”

 

Cas wrapped him closer, dreading the conversation that he feared would come. “For what?”

 

“For being an asshole yesterday.”

 

“Did I do or say something to make you angry with me?” It felt like his heart was jumping out of his chest with how much it was racing and trembling from his anxiety. He wondered if Dean could feel it, the way his head was pressed against his chest.

 

Dean let out a sigh. “Not intentionally. I got butt hurt over you not wanting to tell Balthazar. I convinced myself that you didn't want people to know ‘cause you were ashamed or something. I don't know why I didn't just talk to you.”

 

_ That was it?  _ For a moment Cas felt stunned over such a simple misunderstanding. So Dean wasn’t having second thoughts about them. Now Cas felt embarrassed about even  _ thinking  _ that. Maybe Inias was right and this had been a drop. “Actually, I want to shout it from the rooftops. I thought you read my text explaining why I didn't want to tell B yet. Can you imagine how embarrassing it is, sitting in a café, having Balthazar talk about nothing but your sexlife in such a loud, carrying voice that even the old lady in the corner with the hearing aid can hear it? I never want to experience that again.”

 

He squeezed Dean closer. “I'm so relieved. I thought you were having second thoughts about us.”

 

Dean lifted his head, looking into Cas's eyes. “Fuck no. I would tell you. I just… I don't know.” He curled into Cas again. “Can I stay here? I haven't slept…”

 

“Of course. I could use a few more hours, too. Do you want to go to bed?”

 

Nodding, he moved to sit up. When they both got up to stand, Dean grabbed Cas and yanked him into a hug, face pressed into the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry I’m so stupid.”

 

Cas deeply sighed, feeling himself relax in Dean's arms. "Okay, promise me we’ll talk to each other the next time one of us gets our feelings hurt. This change in our relationship is still new and there are a lot of insecurities that neither of us deals well with alone." 

 

Dean nodded again. “Yeah, I promise.”

 

He guided Dean to his bedroom, slowly starting to unbutton his shirt after he pulled his own t-shirt off. Dean focused on his jeans as Cas pushed the shirt from his shoulders, making it a point to caress the skin his hands came into contact with. 

 

Slipping out of his jeans, before crawling into the bed, Dean closed the distance between them and pulled Cas into a gentle kiss. The kind of kiss that felt like a relieved sigh. They both needed it.

 

"Fuck, I missed you," Cas murmured against his lips, wrapping his arms around Dean to gently pull him closer.

 

“Me, too,” he mumbled before pulling Cas with him onto the bed. He was practically draped over Dean.

 

“Tell me what you need, Dean,” Cas whispered against Dean’s cheek, his lips ghosting over Dean’s face, before he found his lips again for a soft, comforting kiss.

 

“You. Just you,” he breathed out before capturing Cas's lips in a little more frenzied kiss.

 

Cas cupped Dean’s face and rubbed his thumbs soothingly over his cheeks, making soft shushing noises. “Shhh, slow down… you’ve got me. Not going anywhere, okay?”

 

Dean nodded into the touch, looking up at Cas with an expression that spoke of a profound insecurity, like he wasn't sure about something, maybe where they stood after their fight?

 

“What’s on your mind?” Cas asked quietly, running his hand through Dean’s hair.

 

“Are – are we okay again?” His voice was rife with concern.

 

"Of course we are." Cas kissed Dean's forehead. "We will always be okay."

 

Dean smiled, a genuine and beautiful smile, before his eyelids started drooping. The emotional exhaustion was clearly coming out in his physical fatigue. He yawned as he said, “Good. Can't lose you…”

 

“You won’t, I promise,” Cas murmured, nuzzling Dean’s cheek before he closed his eyes and pulled Dean closer in his arms. He hadn’t slept very long and exhaustion was finally taking over. Now that he had Dean in his arms and he knew everything was going to be okay, he could finally relax and let himself fall asleep again.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

He woke up with Dean clinging to his body exactly the way they had fallen asleep. Cas couldn’t help but smile, wishing he could wake up like this every morning for the rest of his life. Dean asleep in his bed was his most favorite thing in the world.

 

Cas took his time admiring the sight of his sleeping friend, the relaxed expression, how the light made his freckles stand out and the tempting cupid bow of his lips.

 

His fingers traced the lines of Dean's clavicle, counting the freckles there before he could stop himself, and covered each of them with his lips, following the path of his shoulders up to his throat.

 

Dean groaned, a gruff yet content sound. 

 

Cas’s smile widened and he nuzzled his nose against his throat as he kissed him again. "Good morning,"  he murmured tiredly against his skin.

 

“Damn,” Dean mumbled as he raked his fingers through Cas’s hair. “A guy could get used to this…”

 

"If you want this, you have to sleep over more often." Cas smiled happily, continuing to trace Dean's skin with his lips. He could do it all day.

 

“You can't afford me,” he teased, leaning his head back to expose more of his throat.

 

Cas gladly took the offer, teasing him back playfully with his lips and tongue. "I could bribe you. With massages, food, and kisses."

 

Dean’s voice was a little ragged as he groaned, “And, uh… how would that pay my bills?” 

 

"What bills? You would live under my blanket." Cas grinned, softly biting his neck.

 

Dean hissed at the pressure, arching his hips slightly. “You want me to be your concubine?”

 

"Don't be silly. I want you to be my cheap, hot water bottle for cold winter nights," Cas deadpanned when he looked up at Dean, stopping his ministrations for a moment.

 

He nodded. “Totally understandable.” Dean smirked then.

 

Cas tried not to smile, but felt his lips twitching despite trying to look serious. “Also, my hot water bottle is already my concubine. So there’s an opening if you want the job.”

 

“You know, I don't know if I want to know what you do to your hot water bottles,” he teased before poking out his tongue.

 

“They  _ are  _ very hot.” Cas shrugged before he leaned back, trying to get up. “Are you hungry?”

 

“I could eat,” he answered as he stretched out his arms with a yawn. The muscles in Dean’s arms tensed and Cas found himself momentarily distracted. Dean flicked his nose. “My eyes are up here,” he chastised as he pointed to his face.

 

“I know, but your arms are down here.” Cas pointed at Dean’s muscles with an innocent smile, before he purposely looked down at them again.

 

Dean shoved a pillow in his face. “Don't objectify me.” 

 

Cas let himself fall back against the bed again with a dramatic death-moan, whispering, “Goodbye, beautiful world. I was killed by a pillow.” He closed his eyes and pretended to be dead.

 

He almost let out a soft groan when suddenly Dean’s full body weight was on him, his friend straddling his hips. Dean started drumming on Cas's stomach. “You promised me food, so stop playing dead.”

 

Cas grabbed Dean's hips and turned them around on the bed, pinning him down with his whole weight. "First you kill me with a pillow and then you make demands. I should punish you." He gave Dean a predatory grin.

 

“You know, considering our sex life, that holds a whole different meaning now,” Dean murmured thoughtfully.

 

"I know," Cas breathed out, rubbing his thumb over Dean's lower lip. Feeling Dean's body beneath him, at his mercy, it would never get old. And in under a minute he was already physiologically responding to it.

 

Dean kissed the pad of his thumb and grinned. “But not right now, I'm not wearing my collar.”

 

And there it was; the cold, hard truth dousing his arousal instantly. Because he couldn't just have sex with Dean whenever he wanted. They weren't a couple. 

 

Cas looked away and sighed before he slid out of the bed. "I’ll cook us something. Try to relax some more, Dean. I’ll get you when it's finished." 

 

“If you love me, you'll make bacon.” Dean was already curling back into his side of the bed.

 

“Okay, bacon it is. Burgers. With all the bacon.”  

 

Dean hummed happily. “You're the one.”

 

Cas closed his eyes for a moment before he left the bedroom. He wished he  _ could  _ be the one for Dean. Making his way to the kitchen, he prepared their lunch and listened to the radio. As he hummed along to the music, Cas tried to concentrate on the good things in his life at that moment.

 

Okay, so he and Dean weren’t a couple, even though he desperately wished they were. But at least they were still best friends and had amazing sex. He should be grateful for what he had instead of pining for pie in the sky.

 

When the burgers were done, he decorated the plates with fancy cut vegetables. Dean usually hated vegetables, but ate them when they were cut in shapes of flowers. He put the plates on the table and made a cup of coffee for Dean, to lure him away from the bed and into the kitchen.

 

When he returned to the bedroom, Dean was half hanging out of the bed, on the verge of falling out of it. The pillow was at the bottom of the bed and the blanket was wrapped around Dean’s ankles, which was probably the only reason he hadn’t fallen out of it yet. How he had gotten himself in that position would forever be a mystery.

 

He held the coffee under Dean’s nose and whispered, “Ooohh, kiss me. I’m an enchanted coffee.”

 

Dean shook his head and blearily blinked his eyes open, when they landed on Cas, he smiled. “‘Sup, buttercup?”

 

“I bring you coffee in bed and this is my thanks? Buttercup? I think I’ll take the coffee away and drink it myself.” Cas shook his head playfully and pulled the coffee away. “I should also eat your burger.”

 

With a soft chuckle Dean moved to sit up. “Don't even lie, you know you love Princess Bride references.”

 

Cas handed him the coffee with a curtsey bob. “As you wish. Also lunch is ready, princess. Time to get up.”

 

“Had me at lunch, also...” Dean stood up, coffee in hand, looking particularly sexy clad only in boxers.  _ “You're  _ the princess. I'm your servant boy, remember?” He waggled his eyebrows.

 

"You're way too snarky to be a servant boy," Cas murmured as he made no attempt at hiding the fact that he was checking out Dean's ass.

 

“I dunno…” He hummed thoughtfully before turning to look back at Cas. Dean smirked, clearly having caught him staring. “Pretty sure I take orders  _ very  _ well.”

 

Cas gave him an innocent look. "We'll see the next time, I guess."

 

Dean chuckled as he resumed sipping his coffee on the way to the kitchen. Taking a seat at one of the stools at the breakfast nook, he smiled. “Did you really make burgers? ‘Cause I may or may not be heartbroken depending on your answer.”

 

Cas put the plate with the burger in front of him. “Even better. Burgers with bacon.”

 

Shaking his head in apparent amazement, Dean sighed happily. “How has no one turned you into a wife yet?” The question sounded rhetorical, while also genuinely curious.

 

"Because my servant boy hasn't asked me to marry him, yet," Cas said with a smile, making it sound like a joke, but meaning it, one hundred percent.

 

Dean grinned. “Oh, I'm just waiting to sweep you away and stop you from marrying the wrong guy.”

 

Cas sat down across from him with his burger and raised an eyebrow. "So, I have to first find someone else to marry before you make a move? Good to know..."

 

“It's like you've never seen any rom-com ever,” he chastised before grabbing the burger and taking a huge bite. Dean had disgusting table manners, if you could even call them manners, and yet it still wasn't a deal breaker.

 

“Your obsession with chick flicks is frightening." Cas took a small bite from his burger before he gave Dean a long, thoughtful look. "So your ideal romance is full of drama then?"

 

“Can you call it romance if it isn't?” Dean challenged.

 

Cas shrugged. “Sure. Why not? I heard there are people who love each other and don’t have drama in their relationship.” 

 

Dean smirked as he returned, “That sounds boring.”

 

“Nothing wrong with a bit of boring now and then,” Cas murmured before he took a huge bite from his burger, complimenting himself on how good it was. 

 

“Said the guy who fucked me in front of his Peeping Tom neighbor…”

 

Cas nearly choked on his burger, holding his hand in front of his mouth to take a few calming breaths.

 

“You okay? Do you need the heimlich?” Dean had moved to stand beside him, clapping a hand on his back.

 

"No." Cas cleared his throat. "But if you do that again, I might need mouth to mouth resuscitation."

 

“Do what?” he asked innocently, widening his eyes for the full effect.

 

Cas glared at him, not dignifying him with an answer. "So what are your plans for today?" 

 

Dean shrugged. “Not sure. Wasn't planning on  _ not  _ being at work, so…” He appeared contemplative for a moment before he said, “Shit, if you've got plans, I can head out. I know you weren't expecting to babysit me.”

 

“I don’t have anything planned except laze around on the couch today. You’re welcome to join me.” The truth was that the pain medication was wearing off and his hangover headache was returning. So he really couldn’t be bothered to do anything else. He wasn’t twenty anymore.

 

Cas was rewarded with a dopey grin. “Can I use this time to force you to watch Shameless finally?”

 

He squinted his eyes at Dean. “Depends. This isn’t another chick flick marathon where I need a lot of alcohol to get through it, right?”

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “Dude, it’s the farthest thing from a chick flick on the planet, but we can still get fucked up while we watch.”

 

Cas shook his head. “Not for me. I’m still hungover from yesterday.” He got up and walked over to his cupboard to grab another couple of Tylenol, that he quickly downed with a glass of water. He seriously regretted the night before. At least the burger helped ease the nausea.

“You’re usually pretty responsible, how are you even hungover?” The concern was evident in his voice.

 

Cas shook his head. “It’s not important.” He didn’t really want to discuss it with Dean. “So, is your show on Netflix?”

 

Dean stared at him for a minute, as though he were trying to evaluate him. “Did I fucking drive you to drink?”

 

Cas sighed deeply. So much for avoiding that conversation. “No, I did it to myself.”

 

“Cas.” Dean’s tone was stern. He folded his arms over his chest. “I get that you did it to yourself, but was  _ I  _ the reason you decided to do it?”

 

Cas walked up to him and put his hands on Dean's shoulders. "No. We had a fight and I got worked up over it. I thought you were going to leave me... It was stupid, a complete overreaction. I guess I was a bit depressed. S’got nothing to do with you. It was all in my head."

 

Dean cupped his face. “Dude, barring you turning out to be a serial killer, and even that’s not a total deal breaker depending… you’re stuck with me. I’ll get us a pair of those BFF necklaces if I have to.”

 

"I know that, Dean. I think I may have had a drop last night... I don't really think I could lose you."

 

Pulling him into a hug, Dean mumbled against the side of his neck, “Shit, I’m sorry, Cas.”

 

Cas relaxed in Dean’s arms and leaned his head against his shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m good now. Just a murderous headache.”

 

Dean pressed a kiss to his temple. “What can I do to help?”

 

“With my headache?” Cas asked, unable to mask his confusion as he drew back to look at Dean. “I already took something.”

 

Dean smirked. “Well, there  _ are  _ studies that show orgasms help with headaches… I could blow you?”

 

Cas felt a bit dizzy with all his blood suddenly dropping from his brain to a much lower region of his body. “How awfully considerate of you, but as you mentioned before...” He pointed to Dean’s neck and continued, “No collar, no sex.” 

 

“Is it sex if it’s technically for medicinal purposes?” Dean challenged.

 

“If the medicinal purposes are merely a cheap excuse, then yes.” He couldn’t cross the line today with Dean. It would be the opposite of helpful.

 

He shrugged in acquiescence. “Worth a shot.” Dean kissed Cas’s nose. “Go relax on the couch, I’ll clean up.”

 

“Thank you.” Cas gave Dean a soft smile and let himself get pulled from the chair and pushed in the direction of the couch. When he slumped down on it, Dean wrapped a blanket around him and he was already feeling like he could fall asleep again. 

 

Just as his eyes started to droop, a loud knock at his door shook him fully awake. Dean was still in the kitchen when he barked, “I got it!”

 

Cas wondered if it was Sam again, disturbing their nice day together. Sam always had the worst timing.

 

Dean pulled the door open, still only clad in his boxers. The man had absolutely no shame… Cas couldn’t see who was at the door at first, but the second he heard a familiar, “Oh, Clarence?” He knew who it was. 

 

Dean’s brow was scrunched in confusion. “Sorry, lady. I think you have the wrong place.”

 

“Oh, I definitely don’t,” Meg practically purred as she leered at Dean before stepping inside. When she noticed Cas on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, she craned her neck. “This is a kink I don’t know.”

 

“Hello, Meg.” Cas waved at her. “Just nursing my hangover today. Come in.” 

 

“Meg?” Dean asked. Cas could almost see the wheels in his head turning as everything clicked into place.

 

“My neighbor, Meg.” Cas introduced her, “Meg, this is Dean.”

 

She smirked. “So, he has a name? I don’t have to refer to him as your needy sub?”

 

Cas chuckled. “You can as long as he wears his collar. But at the moment he’s my best friend, Dean.”

 

Dean regarded her for a moment and blurted, “You’re really hot.”

 

She laughed outright. “You’re not so bad yourself, slugger.”

 

His cheeks actually colored from her comment. “No, I just meant… Well, I guess I’m trying to understand why you prefer watching?”

 

Meg smiled. “Sometimes it’s nice to just see a guy get  _ fucked.”  _ She winked at Dean. “Thanks for the show the other day, by the way…”

 

Of all of the responses for Dean to have, Cas didn’t expect him to smirk and say, “Anytime, kitten.”

 

She stared at him for a moment before turning to Cas. “I like this one. Don’t lose him.”

 

“I plan to keep him forever.” Cas grinned before he winked at Dean.

 

Dean grinned back. “I just do as I'm told.”

 

Meg laughed and moved closer to the couch. “He's definitely prettier than the one you had over yesterday.”

 

“True, but since I didn’t have sex with that one, it doesn’t matter anyway.” Cas leaned back against the couch. “You haven't told me why you're here?”

 

“Bringing back the DVD’s I borrowed, I finally got around to watching them,” she said as she leaned over the couch to hand them to Cas. She ruffled Cas's hair and stood straight again. “I'll let you get to your healing, Clarence.”

 

As Meg turned around she regarded Dean with a smirk. “Always a pleasure seeing you, Dean.”

 

Dean seemed a little uncomfortable now as he held the door open for her. “Uh, nice to meet you.”

 

And with a wink Meg was gone. Dean carefully shut the door and turned to face Cas. He seemed hesitant before letting out a sigh and asking, “So, you, uh... had company last night?”

 

“Yes, a friend. I chatted with him last night and he was the one who told me I was having a possible drop. So he came over to look after me. His name is Inias.” 

 

Dean shuffled nervously, still standing by the door. “How come I’ve never heard of him? I thought I knew, or heard of, all your friends.” He sounded annoyed.

 

“He’s from the community,” Cas answered with a firm voice. “Another Dom, like me. I never told you about him because I kept my sexual kinks from you my whole life. But if you want to, I can introduce the two of you. He’s very nice.”

 

Dean narrowed his eyes. “How nice?”

 

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Are you jealous? Because we didn’t do anything sexual, if that is what you’re implying.”

 

“It’s just… I know you said we’re exclusive, I… It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Dean.” Cas massaged the bridge of his nose. “We’re exclusive. Inias and I are just friends and since he’s a Dom like I am, he knows how bad a drop can be. That’s why he came by. We drank, he talked me down, and distracted me from my stupid thoughts.” He patted the side of the couch. “Come here.”

 

He seemed to hesitate before finally succumbing and moving to sit next to Cas. Dean let out a sigh and kept his head down. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you wanted to fuck someone else. The way I was acting…”

 

Cas wrapped his arm around him and pulled Dean into a quick hug. “When I said exclusive, I meant it. I would ask you before I would do anything with someone else.” 

 

Dean nodded. “Okay.”

 

Cas gave him a long look, hoping that Dean wasn’t just saying this to end the conversation.

 

He pulled the covers closer, hoping a subject change would ease the weird tension between them. “I hope it didn’t feel weird for you to meet Meg. She’s pretty straightforward.”

 

Dean carded his hand through Cas’s hair. “Kinda nice to put a face to a pair of binoculars.”

 

Cas hummed into the contact like a cat and smiled at him as he opened the blanket. “Do you want to come with me under my blanket?” 

 

“I almost forgot how cuddly you get when you don’t feel well,” Dean teased with a chuckle, but having no qualms about crawling under the blanket to drape himself over Cas, which caused him to sprawl out on the couch. 

 

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and sighed. "This is nice..."

 

“That’s only ‘cause you don’t feel well. Usually you’d be pushing me off, bitching about my body heat making you sweaty,” he murmured as he nuzzled into the crook of Cas’s neck.

 

“What?” Cas made an appalled noise. “Never.” He tightened his grip around him before he murmured, “I’m going to keep you like this forever.” 

 

Dean chuckled. “Uh, huh. Until you feel better.”

 

"Ha! Who said you have a say in this? You're obviously in my trap." He tightened his arms around him to emphasize his point.

 

Dean laughed. “That's easily fixed, I can escape your trap.”

 

“Oh, yeah? How are you going to do that?” Cas leaned forward to kiss Dean’s throat, kissing along the skin towards his shoulder. 

 

He exhaled softly against Cas's ear before he started moaning, “Oh, Cas…” 

 

Dean's moaning went straight to his dick and when he arched his hips against Dean, it was purely instinctive. He groaned and started to leave little bites on Dean's shoulder, followed by licking and kissing over the area.

 

“Shit, that didn’t work,” he groaned as he started rutting against Cas.

 

For a moment, Cas tried to remember what Dean was referring to, when he recalled that his friend had tried to escape his arms. Well, not important anymore. What was more important was he had a half naked Dean writhing in his arms and Cas’s self control was circling the drain.

 

He tried to get more friction, angling his hips so that their dicks would rub against each other, before he pulled Dean into a long, fervent kiss. He knew he shouldn't do this. But he had missed Dean so much and nothing else counted in that moment but having him close.

 

Dean trailed one hand down Cas’s torso, the other one tangling in his hair, as he tried to get impossibly closer than they already were. His hips moved in a graceful rocking motion, garnering a sinful contact and soft gasp from his lips as their kissing grew more fevered, more vital.

 

Cas reached down to the hem of his shirt and clumsily pulled it off before he quickly grabbed Dean's neck again to pull him into another heated kiss. "Dean," he moaned against his lips, burying his fingers into his hair, the other hand gripping his hip to pull him flush against him.

 

Dean moved with a beautiful fluidity to straddle his hips, shrugging the blanket off of them before leaning forward to resume their frantic makeout session. Now able to freely grind against Cas’s groin, as they both lost themselves to the way they came together.

 

Cas dragged his hand along the waistband of Dean's underwear before he slipped his hand inside, kneading Dean's ass. There was still way too much fabric between them, so he interrupted the caressing of Dean's ass to quickly pull Dean’s underwear down as far as he could reach. 

 

Breaking contact momentarily, Dean stretched out alongside Cas to yank the boxers down his legs, almost completely off, getting caught on one of his feet. Dean apparently didn’t give a damn before resuming his position, his now free erection pressed against Cas’s lower abdomen as Dean latched onto Cas’s neck at his pulse point.

 

Cas groaned and reached for Dean's cock, smearing the precome over the head before he pulled Dean over him again, wrapping his hands around both their erections.

 

“Cas… Cas,” Dean breathed out. “My collar…”

 

Cas looked up with wide eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"

 

“Fuck no, just let me grab the collar.”

 

"Yes, okay." Cas rubbed his hand over his face after he let go of Dean. "Sorry." A part of him had hoped Dean wouldn't notice, the other part felt angry with himself that he couldn't show more self control.

 

When Dean slid off of him, another realization hit him. Dean had been on top of him! And he had been turned on. Cas gasped and sat up, for a moment forgetting everything about the stupid collar fuck up because... He never believed this could happen again. Cas had thought he would be forever crippled by his past and that he would never feel pleasure in that way, ever again. Like something in him had been broken and he always believed he was unfixable. He felt tears well up in his eyes as the complete extent of this realization hit him.

 

Dean returned holding the collar, taking note of Cas’s state and dropping it to rush to him, sitting on the side of the couch next to him. “What’s wrong?” He looked Cas over for physical injuries, green eyes rife with concern as he cupped Cas’s face. “Fuck, Cas… I’m sorry if I fucked up.”

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him, pulling him impossibly close as he shook his head slightly. "You did nothing wrong. The fucking opposite." He laughed, feeling a strange mixture of awe and happiness, even though he still felt the sting of tears in his eyes.

 

The concern morphed into confusion, Dean shook his head. “Then why are you crying?”

 

Cas rubbed the tears away, shrugging. "Relief, I guess. Fuck... Dean... you were on top of me and I... for the first time since... I..." He shook his head, smiling widely at Dean.

 

“You what?” His tone was less frantic, but no less confused.

 

"You turned me on. You made me crazy with want, Dean. You made me so horny, I even forgot about the stupid collar. Don't you get it? You were on top of me... This hasn’t happened to me... not since..." He didn't finish the sentence, but he was sure Dean would understand him anyway.

 

As realization dawned on his face, Dean smiled before pulling Cas in for a gentle kiss. Pressing his forehead against Cas's he sighed contentedly. “You're amazing, Cas.”

 

Cas shook his head. "You are. This is all because of you." He pulled Dean back onto his lap, just because he  _ could  _ and kissed him again, letting his hand slide over his chest.

 

“So, what you’re saying is: I can ride you now?” Dean pursed his lips and arched a brow.

 

"Oh, yes. That is  _ exactly  _ what I’m saying." Cas grinned, feeling giddy and horny at the same time, which was a strange feeling. He reached over to grab the collar from the floor, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t want to stop again because of this thing. Bedroom?”

 

Dean took the collar from him and buckled it around his neck with a feral smile. “As you wish, Master.”


	9. Opposites Attract

**Chapter 9**

 

“I’ve heard some very interesting stories about you, Dr. Novak,” Naomi greeted him with a frosty voice from Cas’s office door.

 

Cas sighed, not looking up from his computer screen. Five minutes ago he would have done _anything_ rather than go through the reports on his desk, but suddenly his work became very interesting. “I didn’t think you were interested in gossip.”

 

Naomi sat down on the chair across from his desk, legs crossed, giving him a smile that was so false it could have been made out of plastic. “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. My dear friend Gordon told me he met you and your…” She searched for the word for a moment and finished with an almost disgusted, _“Friend_ at a gala.”

 

Cas had never met someone who could pronounce the word ‘friend’ like it was infested with the plague. He also seriously didn’t want to have this conversation with Naomi, so he stealthily sent Balthazar an SOS over hangouts, pretending he was still working. “Oh, yes. I think I remember him. The man with the inappropriate questions about my sex life. I didn’t think you would be… ‘friends’ with such a vulgar person.”

 

“From what I’ve heard, your friend was the one with the crude language.”

 

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Just as a reaction to Mr. Walker. He was pretty impertinent.”

 

She folded her arms over her chest and sighed. “Castiel, Gordon is one of our largest donors. You can't possibly believe the frivolity of a short lived affair should hold precedence over the livelihood of the hospital you work for.”

 

"Dean is my partner, not some short lived affair. And he is a highly decorated firefighter, so Mr. Walker, and _you_ for that matter, should show him some respect. I will not tolerate anyone talking down to him, in any way." Cas had trouble keeping his voice down, but he felt really annoyed in that moment.

 

“And Mr. Walker is a philanthropist with a lot of influence. Does he not deserve respect in turn?” Naomi challenged.

 

Cas shrugged. “Naomi, you’ve known me for over eight years now. Do you really think I didn’t treat Mr. Walker with respect when I first met him? You should know me better. The man crossed a line during our conversation. I certainly wasn’t the one who started it, but my partner was right in the way he ended it.”

 

Naomi moved to stand. “Look, for what it’s worth, I don’t agree with inappropriate conversation either way, but he’s a powerful man. Far more powerful than your partner and I had to do a lot of schmoozing to get back on his good side. So, you’re going to make a formal apology to Mr. Walker, or trust me, I’ll find a way to defund your department.”

 

Cas sighed and nodded. “Of course. Whatever you want. Can I go back to work now? This incident has already taken too much of our time.”

 

She clicked her tongue disapprovingly, but nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Novak.”

 

A few minutes later Balthazar came bolting into his office. “Dr. Novak you're needed–” he stopped short when he noticed no one else in the office. “Oh, well it looks like you don't need me now…”

 

“You’re getting old, B. I texted you an eternity ago.” Cas sighed before he let his head fall on his desk. Why couldn’t this day already be over?

 

He chuckled and held the door open. “Come on, let’s get out of here for a bit. I’ll even buy you a scone.”

 

“I think I finally understand why Dean calls you my work husband. You always know what I need,” Cas mumbled, looking tiredly up from his desk.

 

Balthazar barked out a laugh. “Too bloody right. Wait… Does that make you my work wife?” He gave Cas a toothy grin, holding his hand out for Cas to take.

 

“No, it doesn’t,” Cas replied dryly before he flicked Balthazar’s hand.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

It had been one hell of a month for Dean. Since he and Cas had taken the step they did with their relationship, apart from a few hiccups with subdrop, or Dean just being such a girl over everything, it had been amazing. And not just because the sex was out of this world. The fact that brimming beneath the surface of a cool, collected, and generally chill person lay the passion, desires, and capabilities of a seriously skillful lover was nothing if not surprising.

 

Not that when he thought of Cas in that light, which sadly wasn’t a new thing for Dean, did he think his best friend was bad in bed or anything. He just never imagined he could be _so good._ One month in and they’d already fucked on every possible surface of Cas’s apartment. During one of their scenes, they almost broke his desk. Dean had been sore for a few days after that scene and he thought back on it fondly.

 

He was pleasantly surprised at how capable he had been of hiding his feelings for the guy. Cas didn’t suspect a thing, which was good, because the last thing he wanted was to lose this part of their relationship. There were days he struggled a little more than others with differentiating. Particularly during their aftercare. How tender and doting Cas could be, Dean easily and happily pretended that his feelings were reciprocated. And as long as he didn’t turn into a jealous or clingy lunatic, he could just go right on pretending. It wasn’t hurting anyone.

 

It was the night of Charlie’s party and he’d promised Cas he’d meet him at his place before they went to the grocery store to pick up the food on the list. He’d also bought them new costumes because, as hilarious as the tuxes were, and iconic they would be as costumes, Dean had this weird sentimental attachment to them. He kind of only wanted to wear them for _actual_ special occasions.

 

Dean used his key and let himself into Cas’s place, calling out for his friend, “Cas?” As he closed the door, he heard a muffled response from their bedroom and Dean tossed the costumes over the back of the couch.

 

When he stepped into the bedroom, Cas was clad only in a towel, standing in front of his mirror in the bathroom shaving. It was a little ridiculous how something so simple, so domestic, made his heart beat just as fast as when he was being fucked for Meg’s pleasure. Dean leaned against the open doorway, content to watch his friend. “Making yourself pretty for me?” he teased.

 

"Don't want you to complain again about stubble burn. I'm just being considerate, although in a few hours it’ll probably feel like sandpaper again..." Cas gave his reflection a critical once-over.

 

Dean shrugged. “Don’t mind a little stubble, unless you’re eating me out, then it gets a little much.”

 

Cas stopped his movement with the razor for a second. "Okay, new rule. No sex talk when I'm holding sharp objects or we have to go to a party. Otherwise we won't leave this apartment because I will be too busy fucking you against the next wall."

 

He contemplated for a moment whether or not to beg him to do as he threatened, but they promised Charlie that they'd help with food and Dean was pretty sure getting his brains fucked out wouldn't be an acceptable excuse. Dean raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. But just so you know, if we _didn't_ have obligations, I'd tell you I came prepped, just in case. But I won't…” _Fine._ So he wasn't a _saint._

 

Cas let his razor fall into the sink and rubbed the rest of the shaving cream quickly from his face before he crowded Dean against the wall, one hand wrapped around his throat. "Seriously?" He rubbed his thumb over Dean's lower lip. "You just had to say so."

 

“If you don't believe me, you can find out for yourself…” They had three hours, they could afford to be a little late.

 

"Oh, I will. Get your collar, pet." Cas slapped his ass playfully when Dean turned around to go to their bedroom.

 

They decided to keep it in the bedside drawer on Dean’s side of the bed. Dean pulled the collar out and stared at it for a moment. He had a love hate thing for the collar; love because this equated to getting to be intimate with Cas, but it persisted as a barrier to what he really wanted. For them to _actually_ be in a relationship. Because his love for his best friend was continuing to grow and expand into something he’d never truly felt before. Goddamn Cas for not wanting to have a real relationship.

 

For all intents and purposes, they _were_ in a fucking relationship, but he couldn’t say that out loud. The collar was a reminder of the fact that no matter what they were doing, Dean was never going to truly have Cas. But, to add insult to injury, it also served as a tiny glimpse into what it _could_ be like. And that was better than not knowing at all. As long as Dean didn’t fuck it up, then they would be able to keep going. Maybe even for the rest of their lives.

 

Buckling the collar on, Dean shed his t-shirt and jeans and walked back to the bathroom, getting into his standing position. “Master?”

 

Cas softly patted his cheek with a smile. "I’ve trained you well... so obedient... such a good little fuck toy. Get on your knees and open your mouth."

 

Dean obeyed readily, moving into his kneeling position, mouth open, tongue poking out in anticipation. Cas removed his towel and pushed his already half hard cock in Dean's mouth. "Look up at me when you suck me, pet."

 

Turning to look up, using his skills to get Cas to full hardness, he was already leaking and the look of sheer lust on his friend’s face was something Dean would never get sick of. The way arousal colored Cas’s cheeks a sinful red, the dilation of pupils almost completely blacking out beautiful blue irises. Dean would never not see the man in front of him as the sexiest motherfucker in existence.

 

Cas carded his fingers through Dean's hair before he grabbed his head and pushed in deep and fast a few times. When he pulled off, he reached for a tube of lube on the sink. "Get up and face the wall. Brace yourself against it and spread your legs wide so I can see if you did a good job prepping yourself."

 

Dean was a little breathless as he obeyed Cas’s command. Legs spread as wide as he could go without losing his balance, he braced his hands on the wall, smirking to himself knowing that Cas would be pretty damn impressed. He’d bought a bigger butt plug for the occasion.

 

Cas hummed behind him when he played with the plug, pushing it in and out a little, teasing him. "Someone’s a needy toy. Did you think of me when you worked that into your tight, little hole?"

 

“Of course, Master. I wanted it to be you getting me ready,” he groaned, trying his best to not arch into the touch.

 

Cas rewarded him by softly running his fingers through his hair. "Such a good boy." He slowly pulled out the plug and a few seconds later he could feel two slick fingers push into him, instantly aiming for his prostate. The good thing about having sex with a doctor was, Cas _definitely_ knew what he was doing. "You haven't exaggerated, so open and ready for me. Good. Turn around," Cas commanded as he pulled his fingers out.

 

Dean turned and leaned his back against the wall, refraining from literally jumping into the guy’s arms. Cas was ridiculously strong, though he'd never tried it, he was certain he could catch him.

 

"Put your arms around me," Cas commanded, sounding a bit breathless as he grabbed the back of Dean's knees on both sides. "And jump up for me."

 

A thrill coursed down Dean’s spine as he easily hopped into Cas’s arms, wrapping his calves around the guy’s hips, unable to stop the excited grin. Sometimes his personality bled into their scene. If Cas noticed, he surprisingly didn’t comment or punish him for it. Yet, anyway.

 

Cas pressed him against the wall as he lined himself up, easily pushing into him with a deep moan and closed eyes. As hot as it was to be taken from behind, the almost raw, animalistic pleasure of that kind of position; it didn’t even come close to watching Cas’s face as he became unraveled and consumed by lust.

 

When Cas struck his prostate, Dean’s gasp turned into a loud moan. Cas was slowly turning him into a porn star, he friggin’ swore. Without breaking eye contact, he begged, “Master, can I please have a kiss?”

 

Cas nodded, still fucking him slow and deep as he pulled Dean closer and looked up at him. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “C’mere.”

 

As lame as it sounded, his favorite moments were when Cas allowed Dean to kiss him. It brought them closer in a way he never thought possible. Tilting his head, Dean captured Cas's lips and moaned into a surprisingly tender kiss. He rested his forehead against Cas's, who let his lips ghost openly over Dean's, gasping out, heated breath caressing his lips, all while he gradually picked up the force of his still slow thrusts.

 

Dean moaned against his best friend’s lips. Usually by now they would be clinging to each other desperately as they got lost in each other, Dean’s vision whiting out from the vicious and frenetic way Cas could fuck into him. This was different. The slow, methodical way Cas was starting to take him apart was so much more deeper than any of the other times they had sex. Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He was elated, but at the same time, it almost felt like torture. Giving him even more of a taste of what he could never really have with his best friend.

 

Cas kissed him again, moaning into his mouth as he slipped his tongue inside, licking over Dean's. He adjusted his arms around him, changing the angle to fuck him even deeper. Cas panted against Dean's lips. "Fuck, you feel so good."

 

All he could respond with was a stuttered moan, his legs tightening around Cas's waist in an attempt to drive him even deeper.

 

Cas pressed him against the wall, kissing him deeply when he picked up the pace of his thrusts. He moaned against Dean's lips, muttering a quiet, "Dean… oh, fuck... I'm so close."

 

“Please,” was all he managed before another moan was wrenched from him, Cas striking his prostate with every thrust now.

 

"Tell me what you need," Cas panted against Dean's lips, increasing the pace of his thrusts again.

 

Dean breathed into Cas’s ear, “Just need you…” He let out another moan and gasped.

 

Cas shifted Dean's weight against his right arm before he slid his left from his back to his front, letting his fingers slide over Dean’s chest, nipples, and down to his cock. He wrapped them around his dick in a tight grip, running his thumb over the head. "Say my name."

 

“Fuck, Cas,” he whimpered. As he could feel the heat pool in his groin, orgasm not far off, Dean pressed his face into the crook of Cas’s neck and moaned, “Castiel…”

 

Cas groaned, fucking him harder and starting to stroke Dean's cock in time with his thrusts. "Again," Cas commanded against the side of his face.

 

“Castiel, please…”

 

"Look at me," Cas breathed out, nudging Dean's face with his nose. "And say it again. Don't stop. I want to come like this."

 

Dean turned to look into Cas’s eyes and knew in that moment, he’d never love another human being anywhere near as much as he loved his best friend. “Castiel… you make me so fucking happy.” With a sharp gasp, Dean succumbed to pure and irretrievable pleasure, never breaking eye contact as he came.

 

"Dean," Cas gasped out before he kissed him, fucking him through the waves of pleasure, coming deep inside of him with one final hard thrust.

 

Breathing ragged and sweat slicked foreheads pressed together, Dean let out a slightly broken chuckle. Dean was an addict and Cas was his drug.

 

Cas kissed him again, his breathing still ragged. "Are you okay? That was intense..."

 

Dean nodded dumbly. “More than okay.”

 

Cas rewarded him with a smile that could have brightened up the night sky. "Good," he murmured, kissing him again before he slowly let him down. "Do you want to take a quick shower with me?"

 

“Quick?” Dean asked, eyebrow arched in amused disbelief.

 

Cas shrugged with a smug grin. “Relatively speaking.”

 

Dean leaned down and pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek. “Count me in.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

They had two hours to get all of the groceries they needed for the party. Dean was actually surprised that, despite their fuck session against the bathroom wall, and then a heavy makeout session in the shower, they had managed to still have that much time. They decided to just go out in their costumes to do the shopping, that way they could head straight to Charlie’s. Cas could easily make the salad at her place.

 

Dean caught a glimpse of their reflection in a store window, unable to refrain from chuckling. He made a pretty awesome Deadpool and Cas was damn adorable as Spiderman. Looping an arm over his shoulder, they walked into Mariano’s and grabbed a shopping cart. So as not to make the workers in the store think they were casing the joint, they both removed their masks, tossing them in the child seat of the cart.

 

Cas’s hair was everywhere and Dean laughed outright, shaking his head in amazement.

 

“What?” He asked with a puppy eyed look. “Is there something on my face?”

 

Dean cupped Cas’s cheek. “Yeah,” he murmured before leaning in to kiss his lips. A brief, chaste kiss. Dean drew back and smiled. “Me.”

 

Cas mirrored the smile and for a moment they just stared at each other, getting lost in each other's eyes. Someone cleared her throat behind them, interrupting the moment.

 

As they turned, Dean felt like he had instantly been doused with a bucket of ice water. He couldn’t friggin’ believe it. In a goddamn city of over two million people, what were the odds of running into an ex? Especially the ex that broke his heart more than the rest of them combined? Forcing his lips into a tight smile, Dean greeted her, “Lisa. Hi.”

 

“Hey, Dean. Cas.” She nodded at them with a friendly smile. “So you two are finally together? I’m happy for you.”

 

Narrowing his eyes at her, brow scrunched up in confusion, Dean asked, “What do you mean ‘finally’?”

 

"Oh, you know. You two were always like a couple. I kind of felt like the other woman." Lisa smiled at them and continued, “So it’s nice to see you two are finally where you always belonged.”

 

Dean felt a little dumbfounded and could have cursed himself for what tumbled out of his mouth, “We aren’t together, Lis.” It hurt to say it outloud.

 

"Excuse me. I’ll let you two catch up," Cas mumbled and turned the shopping cart around.

 

He watched, sort of helplessly, as Cas disappeared down another aisle. Did he upset him?

 

“Dean? Are you _sure_ that you two are on the same page? Because it seriously doesn’t look that way from my perspective,” Lisa commented with a genuinely worried look.

 

Dean was still staring after the empty space Cas had left. He sighed and turned back to face her. “We’re not. Fuck, I wish we were.”

 

“You don’t want to be with him? I’m confused…”

 

“Kinda the opposite,” he confessed quietly, not sure why it was so easy for him to tell her. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Lisa. Their relationship ended several years before and he’d more than forgiven her for leaving the way she did.

 

“Does _he_ know that?” Lisa asked carefully, putting her hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

 

Dean tilted his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

“That you want to be with him.”

 

With a soft, mirthless chuckle, Dean shook his head. “He doesn’t do relationships.” Damn, he sounded bitter.

 

“Yes, I remember he was a bit odd about that. But have you ever considered that you might be the exception?”

 

Why the hell was everyone saying that? Probably because they didn’t actually know Cas or his history, and why it was completely unsurprising he’d never even want to try to have a relationship. Dean smiled sadly. “There isn’t one for him. But, uh… we have plans, so I hate to do this, but it was… it was nice seeing you.”

 

Lisa gave him a pained look. “Yes, it was. I hope you’re wrong about him. You two just fit. I just want you to be happy.”

 

He almost nodded when it sort of dawned on him in that moment, he wasn’t always going to get an opportunity like this to find answers to questions that had plagued him for years. “Don’t get me wrong, Lis, I want you to be happy, too, and I forgave you years ago for how you left while I was on a three day stint without a word. But… I gotta ask. Why? What did I do?”

 

Lisa looked down at her feet. “I’m sorry, Dean. I really am. It was a shitty way to end our relationship, but I was just so _angry_ with you and I just… I couldn’t talk to you. It’s not because you wouldn’t have listened or anything… I just let my emotions get the better of me and… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left without a word.”

 

“But why were you angry? I thought we were happy…”

 

Lisa shook her head. “I felt lonely with you. All the long job hours and Cas was always your priority… I just couldn’t bring myself to say something because my last boyfriend told me I was too clingy.”

 

 _Shit._ Dean really felt like a dick. He had never meant to isolate her, to make her feel that way. And he couldn’t argue with her. Cas always was his priority. They saw each other through everything and while he never wanted to make her feel like she was second to him, it didn’t make it any less true. Dean grasped her hand. “Look, for what it’s worth, I _am_ sorry for making you feel that way, but…” he sighed and continued, “You were right. I hope you can forgive me for that.”

 

Lisa shook her head again. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Dean. I could have said something and there’s nothing to forgive. I know you didn’t do it on purpose. It just didn’t work between us and that’s okay.”

 

“Would it be weird to hug you?” he asked, feeling emotionally lighter than he had in years.

 

Lisa smiled and instead of answering, she drew him into a tight hug. “I’m so glad we talked.”

 

“Dean?” Cas asked behind him, his voice was strangely void of any emotion. “We don’t have a lot of time left.”

 

Dean nodded to Cas before turning to give Lisa a soft smile. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

 

“Yes, that would be great. You can call me anytime you want. Hit me up on Facebook.” Lisa smiled, her eyes sparkling with happiness and obvious relief.

 

He waved goodbye to her as she moved on with her own shopping cart. Dean turned to look at Cas, who seemed weirdly stiff. “Cas?”

 

He didn’t look at him, just grabbed some chips from one of the shelves and dropped them into their shopping cart. “Yes?”

 

Dean gently grasped Cas by the elbow to halt his movement. “Talk to me.”

 

Cas sighed deeply and shook his head. "I'm sorry how I made you feel when I told you not to tell B about us. I know how that feels now."

 

He let out a relieved sigh and pulled Cas into his arms. “No need to be sorry. And besides, it’s not like our situation is all that easy to explain.” Dean chuckled and drew back with a quirked brow. “I mean, how do I tell my ex that my best friend regularly ties me up and spanks me with a paddle?”

 

“Are you still interested in her?” Cas asked suddenly without answering Dean’s question.

 

Dean regarded Cas for a moment, not entirely sure how to answer. At least, not without fucking up and potentially saying something that would ruin what they have. “Not even a little bit.” Hopefully short and to the point would be good enough.

 

Cas nodded slowly. “Okay… You would tell me if that changes, right?”

 

“It won't.” He'd never meant anything more in his life.

 

Cas looked at him for another moment, his expression unreadable before he cupped his cheek and kissed him. Not a fleeting or tender kiss, but one that spoke of possessiveness.

 

Dean groaned into it, hands gripping into Cas's costume as he soaked in a rare moment when they got to be intimate without the damn collar.

 

They were interrupted by a squeal, causing both of them to draw away from each other and look to where the sound came from. A younger woman, wearing a shirt that said something about Turians. Whatever the fuck that was.

 

Dean craned his neck in amused confusion. “Uh, are you okay?”

 

The strange woman nodded excitedly, pulling out her phone. “Can I get a picture of you guys doing that again?”

 

“What? Why?” Cas asked, tone confused and mildly frightened.

 

“Because Spideypool! Duh!”

 

Dean had no fucking clue what that meant, but he shrugged and turned to Cas. “I’m game if you are?”

 

“Kissing you? Always.” Cas grinned before he pulled him closer and kissed him again.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

“Your salad is made of awesomeness, Cas. I have no idea how you do this all the time. Is there a secret ingredient?" Sam asked when he filled his bowl with a second helping.

 

"Yes. Can you keep a secret?" Cas grinned. Sam nodded eagerly and Cas grinned even wider. “Me, too."

 

Sam let out an exaggerated sigh. “My brother is a bad influence on you.”

 

Dean smacked Sam upside the back of his head and quirked his brow in challenge. “How do you know Cas isn’t the bad influence?”

 

“‘Cause, my big brother is too much of a goodie two shoes,” Gabriel interjected as he looped his arm over Cas’s shoulders.

 

Cas smiled down at him widely. “You know me too well, little one.”

 

“Whatever, pretty boy.” Gabriel moved to grab another beer from Charlie’s fridge and leaned against the counter. He looked from Dean to Cas and back again, narrowing his eyes. “Something’s different about you two…”

 

Sam chuckled in his salad and sing-songed, “And I know what.”

 

Gabriel’s eyes lit up. “Do tell, Samsquatch!”

 

“Oh, no. I’m not making it easy on you. Guess!”

 

Dean feigned an excited tone, “I have an idea! Let’s not!”

 

Sam ignored him and grinned at Gabriel. “You have three guesses!”

 

“Three guesses for what?” Charlie asked when she joined them in the kitchen. “What are you playing?”

 

Dean smirked at Cas and waved him over with his index finger while their friends were playing ‘guess what’s new with them’. Cas gave him a coy, flirtatious smile and licked slowly over his lips as he stepped in front of Dean. “Hello, Dean,” he mumbled lowly.

 

“Wanna take their fun away?” he murmured, carding his hand through Cas’s hair.

 

“Definitely.” Cas gave him a soft smile, stepping even closer as he wrapped his arms around his hips.

 

Dean leaned down and kissed him; chaste, gentle. Laughing against each other’s lips at the outright scream Charlie let out.

 

“Fucking finally!” Charlie hopped up and down. “You owe me money, Gabe. Big time!”

 

Gabriel groaned and asked, “Do you take checks?”

 

Dean knocked his hip into Cas and winked before addressing all of them, “You guys know we aren’t together, right?”

 

“What do you mean? Why not?” Charlie asked, clearly in shock. “You just kissed! You can’t take that back now!”

 

“Why would you assume because we kissed that we’re a couple? We kiss all the time,” Dean argued.

 

“Well, first of all, not like that, looking all lovey dovey and second, because you two _should_ be a couple. No wait! I think you already _are_ a couple. You just don’t know it yet.” Charlie pointed at them and Sam nodded in agreement.

 

“Shit, you two are more of a couple than Kali and I, and we’ve been married for eons,” Gabriel added.

 

“Exactly!” Charlie pointed out triumphantly. “You spend all your time together, you eat together, go shopping together, kiss each other. I bet you even have sex now. You _are_ a couple. You are the _definition_ of a couple.”

 

“But we’re not in love with each other and we aren’t romantic,” Dean explained, his tone a little less smug than before.

 

Cas let go of him and nodded. “Exactly. It’s just sex.” Cas felt his heart break as he said those words, but he had to face the truth at some point.

 

“I can’t believe this.” Charlie shook her head and turned to Sam and Gabriel for help. “Can you please demonstrate, guys?”

 

Gabriel’s eyes lit up. He immediately got into Sam’s personal space and looked up at him with a feigned doe-eyed expression. “Oh, Dean! I spend all my time with you, I constantly bring you up in conversation. I will, quite literally, stop whatever I’m doing at the drop of a hat if you so much as catch a cold, just to take care of you! I can’t possibly have feelings for you!”

 

Sam feigned an equally exaggerated lovestruck expression as he took Gabriel’s hand in his. “Oh, Cas! You’re all I talk and think about, when I’m not spending all my time with you. I’ve been pining for you for so long, my other friends and my incredibly intelligent brother constantly point it out, so I start to text you to ignore them. I _so_ haven’t been in love with you since high school.”

 

Cas started to slow clap and raised an eyebrow at them. It would have been awesome if Sam and Gabriel were right about that, but he would’ve known if Dean had been in love with him since high school. He was pretty sure Dean would tell him something that important, especially now they were in a sexual relationship. “You’re funny. You should join a circus. You could have a career as a clown, Sam.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh at the unamused look on Sam’s face and kissed Cas on the cheek. “And that’s why you’re my best friend.”

 

Cas wrapped his arm around Dean’s shoulder and gave him a bright smile, ignoring the groans from their friends.

 

“How can they be so blind to what's right in front of their noses?” Sam asked Charlie and Gabriel, who just shook their heads.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “We can still hear you.”

 

“Can you, Dean? Can you really?” Charlie asked, tone a mixture of frustration and sarcasm.

 

Cas sighed deeply. Time to change the topic. “Hey, Charlie. Why aren’t you wearing a costume?”

 

Charlie looked down at herself. “I am.”

 

Dean leaned into him and whispered into his ear, “Ask her to sing.”

 

“Dean said I should ask you to sing,” Cas repeated with an expectant look.

 

“Really? Because I know if you see my girlfriend’s costume, you’ll know who I am. But okay,“ She cleared her throat. _“Here’s a story of a girl. Who grew up lost and lonely..."_

 

Cas widened his eyes. “Fuck! Why have I never noticed how much you look like Penny?”

 

“It’s kind of uncanny,” Dean added smiling at her with a fondness that he always appeared to share with Charlie. Dean’s “sister from another mister”, or whatever the phrase was according to Dean.

 

“Are you sure you didn’t play her?” Cas asked slowly, because Charlie could have. She had the voice, the looks. Why wasn’t she an actress?

 

“I think I would have remembered meeting Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion. I would give my first born for a ride in the Serenity. Now that I think about it, don’t you think Crowley, the hospital CEO, looks like Badger?”

 

“Don’t you dare even think about giving our first born to anyone.” Gilda approached Charlie and pressed her hand gently over Charlie’s stomach. In that moment, everyone sort of realized Charlie hadn’t been drinking.

 

Dean’s eyes widened, a huge smile broke out on his face. “Shut the fuck up!”

 

"I'm very happy for the both of you. Congratulations." Cas gave them both a bright smile, knowing how long they had wished for this.

 

Gabriel clapped his hands together, an excited grin on his face. “Yes! I’ve been needing a child to corrupt!”

 

Cas wrapped his arm around Gabriel's head and clasped his mouth shut, ignoring his younger brother’s struggle. "I apologize in advance for my brother. The first thing you’ll probably have to teach your kid is to not take candy from strange little men."

 

Gabriel licked his palm and Cas pulled his hand away with a disgusted expression. “Ew, seriously, Gabe?” He tried to dry his hand on Gabriel’s shirt, but his brother sidestepped his hand. He would have succeeded his escape if Dean hadn’t caught him and held him so Cas could finish rubbing his hand against Gabe’s shirt.

 

“Brother, dear, can you have your boyfriend release me now?” Gabriel asked, a little petulantly.

 

Dean licked a swipe up Gabriel’s cheek before letting him go, chuckling at the way Gabe shoved into him.

 

“Please, for the love of God, _please_ tell me you’ve never sucked my brother’s dick,” he begged, rubbing furiously at his cheek.

 

Cas sighed. "Okay, we won't tell you, but Dean..." he gave Dean a pained look. "Don't just lick strange things. You have _no idea_ where my brother’s been. I don't want you to get sick."

 

“‘Cause if I’m sick, then I won’t be able to suck your dick anymore, right?” He grinned cheekily as he bit into a chip to the chorus of everyone in the room groaning.

 

Cas had to bite the inside of his cheek to not laugh as he nodded, putting on a serious expression. "Exactly. And that's something we really don't want. Right, sweetheart?" He gave Dean a playfully smitten smile and carded his fingers through Dean's hair.

 

Gilda waved her hands as she proclaimed, “Wait, wait, wait! Are you tellin’ me these two assholes finally got together and _none_ of you thought to tell me?”

 

“In all fairness, you _did_ just announce the birth of your child. We were a little distracted…” Gabriel argued.

 

Gilda gave Charlie a smirk before continuing, “Babies happen every day. Two repressed dumbasses finally getting their shit together and hooking up does not!”

 

“They’re still repressing and it’s even more ridiculous now since they still have no clue they’re doing it, even though they’re having sex with each other now.” Charlie shook her head in apparent misery. “It’s unbelievable.”

 

“You guys are having sex and you aren’t acknowledging you’ve been in a relationship since... hell, since I’ve known you?” Gilda asked, sounding perplexed and annoyed.

 

Cas started to get annoyed, too. Mostly because he really just wanted to be in a relationship with Dean. "Dean and I are best friends having sex. That's our relationship. Can you guys please just accept that? You’re making me really uncomfortable."

 

“How do you think the rest of us feel?” Gabriel challenged, and for once his tone was serious.

 

Dean stepped in then, “Alright. Enough guys. Please stop pushing something that isn’t there, okay? Just because you want it to exist, doesn’t mean it does.” Spoken like a true atheist. But damn, did he wish it could work like that.

 

Cas pulled Dean closer. “Let’s get some air, okay?”

 

He nodded and dragged Cas to Charlie and Gilda’s balcony. Thankfully no one else was outside, because it was the end of October. In Chicago. Dean held onto the railing and stared over the edge, a thirteenth story edge.

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him from behind and rested his chin on Dean's shoulder. "Wondering how Spider Man doesn't freeze into a popsicle when he swings through New York in winter in this costume."

 

Dean turned around, now leaning against the railing, as Cas’s arms still looped around his waist. Dean raised his arms to wrap them over Cas’s shoulders. “I want to be sarcastic, but I wanna make sure you’re okay? Don’t listen to those dicks.”

 

"I don't care what they say. The only opinion that matters to me is yours." Cas pulled him closer. "So what if we don't fit their norm of what a relationship should look like? This works for us, right?"

 

Dean nodded, but wasn’t quite meeting his eyes. “Exactly. Besides, could you imagine us in a _real_ relationship?” He chuckled before he looked up and continued, “Bringing flowers to your door when I pick you up for a date?”

 

Cas tried to smile, but it was hard to manage with his heart breaking all over again. "Yeah, that would be... What would we even talk about on a date, right? We already know each other and have sex..." Cas's voice started to get quieter when he slowly reached a shocking conclusion in his mind. No wonder all their friends thought they were in a relationship. They basically were. It was just he couldn't tell Dean that he’d been in love with him since high school.

 

“Yeah… exactly. Or taking me home to meet your parents?” He laughed and pressed his forehead against Cas’s. “Your folks still hate me, right?”

 

“Hate is a strong word.” Cas smiled when he remembered the last encounter with Michael and Dean. “But accurate.”

 

“In my defense, I still maintain Michael punched _himself_ in the face.”

 

Cas chuckled. “Of course he did. He does that all the time.” He let his fingers slide up over Dean's back and into his hair, Cas’s heart beating a million beats per second because all he could think about was closing the gap between them with a kiss.

 

“Well, maybe he shouldn’t call his baby brother a ‘faggot’ when his baby brother’s best friend is within earshot,” Dean defended.

 

“Yes, that was very stupid of him. He should have known that I have a knight in shining armor to defend my honor.” Cas drew soft patterns on Dean’s neck, trying to distract himself from pulling his friend in for a kiss. There was no way Dean wouldn’t notice his real feelings if he kissed him in that moment, he was sure of it.

 

Dean gave him a dopey grin. “Damn right. I’ll slay all your dragons, Castiel. You can count on that.”

 

Cas felt a shudder run through his body when Dean said his name like that. Dean usually didn't use his full name, and the fact that he had said it just a few hours prior when Cas had fucked him against his bathroom wall, made this moment even better. He looked up at Dean, bottle green eyes always having the power to ensnare him. He searched his eyes for a moment before he slid his hand from Dean's neck to his face and rubbed the pad of his thumb over Dean's lips. "I know," he murmured quietly.

 

Pressing a kiss against the pad of Cas’s thumb, Dean chuckled again before he mumbled, “Wanna go get drunk?”

 

“Are you going to sleep over at my place?” Cas asked in return. If Dean was accompanying him home tonight, he couldn’t risk drinking too much.

 

“If you want me to?” Dean asked, sounding pretty hopeful.

 

Cas chuckled softly as he pulled Dean closer. "If I have a say in it, you would never leave my bed."

 

“Damn, you make being a mindless sex slave sound more and more appealing!” Dean teased.

 

"I’ll get you there eventually." Cas nudged his nose against Dean's cheek playfully before he nibbled at his earlobe. "And then you're mine – _forever."_ He leaned back and grinned at Dean. “I’m still working on my evil laugh to accompany that sentence.”

 

Dean leaned into him, breath hot against his ear as he whispered, “Too bad I’m not wearing my collar. You could bend me over this balcony and fuck me for half of Chicago to see.”

 

Cas couldn’t help but suddenly burst into laughter, holding his hand in front of his mouth. “I just imagined Gabriel disturbing us while we’re doing it.” He tried to explain during his laughing fit. “Oh, man! Could you imagine his face?”

 

Dean’s eyes lit up and he held his index finger up to silently ask Cas to wait. Opening the door, he yelled for Gabriel before shutting it again. Dean positioned Cas so that he was diagonally facing away from the door. Looking around at their position, Dean nodded and smirked.

 

He dropped to his knees, hands on Cas’s hips, swaying his head back and forth in a pretty telling movement, looking up at Cas with an amused grin on his face.

 

“You hollered for me, Dean–Oh! No! Fuck! Why?” Gabriel started making retching noises.

 

Dean barked out a laugh, head pressed against Cas’s thigh as he wiped the mirth from his eyes.

 

Cas couldn’t stop himself from carding his fingers lovingly through Dean’s hair as he craned his neck to look back at his brother, who appeared pale and annoyed. He smiled. Dean always had the best revenge plans.

 

Moving to stand, Dean peeked over Cas’s shoulder and asked an all too innocent sounding, “What?” to Gabriel, who muttered something unintelligible and slammed the patio door shut. Dean laughed again and drew back to smile at Cas. “I’ll never _not_ love fucking with your brother.”

 

“What did I do right to deserve such a perfect friend?” Cas shook his head in awe and took Dean’s hand. “Let’s get something to drink and some food. I'm actually starving.”

 

Dean squeezed his hand and smirked. “Well, we _did_ work up an appetite.”

 

Cas leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Dean’s cheek. “And we need our strength for the next time.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

As the evening carried on, more and more people arrived to the party, so by ten, it was quite the event. There were dozens of people, because apparently Gilda and Charlie were the most popular lesbians in the greater Chicago area. Dean found himself nursing a beer, content to people watch in his little corner of their living room.

 

Cas was having some sort of debate with Charlie about a videogame or something, he found himself contentedly smiling at the two of them. Both getting fired up as their debate bordered on an outright argument.

 

Conversations were drowned out by various party-goers using Gilda’s home karaoke system they had hooked up to their television. It was amazing the bravery people had when they were shit-faced.

 

In that moment, Dean recalled the first time he and Cas had sung karaoke together. They were in their mid twenties. He smiled as he replayed that night in his head.

 

* * *

 

_Dean had no idea how he’d gotten Cas to agree to go on this double date with him. Cas hated dates and dating, but the chick Dean was interested in only agreed to go out with him if he brought someone for her best friend. And she was definitely hot enough for him to try and bribe Cas into it._

 

_Ready with a promise of buying Cas the moon, or whatever absurd thing Dean couldn’t possibly afford on the wages of an EMT… He’d been surprised that Cas simply agreed._

 

_They found themselves in a bar in the middle of Boystown. Apparently, Cynthia only went to bars in Boystown because there was a far less chance of getting hit on or groped by creeps._

 

_Overall the night had been going pretty well, chatting amicably with their dates, buying round after round since shots were half off that night. That was when there was an announcement from a pretty fabulous looking drag queen._

 

_“Ladies! Gentlemen! And all variations thereof! It’s time for karaoke!”_

 

_Various patrons burst into rounds of applause and yelps of excitement. That was when he noticed the amount of people in the bar had practically doubled. A couple of drag queens started dropping off binders with slips of paper and pencils at different tables. Their table was one of them._

 

_Dean grinned excitedly. He was definitely drunk enough to sing in public. Flipping open the binder, he started searching for fun duets. When he found the perfect song, Dean tapped Cynthia’s hand. “How well do you know Paula Abdul?”_

 

_She snorted into her drink and shook her head. “Hell no. I’m not singing!”_

 

_“Awww, come on. It’s fun!” Dean pleaded._

 

_Cynthia shook her head again. “I’m nowhere near drunk enough.”_

 

_Turning to Cas’s date, whose name he had forgotten, he waggled his eyebrows. “How about you?”_

 

_The girl giggled, a nasally and pretty obnoxious sound. He was going to owe Cas big time for this night, he knew it. “I can’t sing,” she insisted._

 

_“Everyone says that.”_

 

_“If you want to sing so bad, sing with Castiel!” Cynthia offered as she pointed to Cas._

 

_Dean grinned at his best friend and slid the binder in front of him, laying his finger on the song he had already decided on. He quirked his brow at Cas. “You down?”_

 

_“Always.” Cas grinned at him before giving him a pointed look. A look that screamed: ‘SOS - please get me away from this girl for at least a few minutes’._

 

_Well, that solidified he was going to have to buy Cas the moon after all for the disaster that this date was for the poor guy. Dean nodded and wrote their names and the song number down on one of the slips of paper before taking it up to the head drag queen. She eyed him, gaze raking over his body in approval. Dean winked at her and made it back to their table._

 

_He did what he could to occupy Cas as subtly as he could until their names were called. Cas practically yanked Dean out of his seat as they made their way to the makeshift stage. When they were handed their microphones, the KJ outright laughed when he saw their song choice. Dean gave him a broad grin._

 

_As the familiar chords of one of his favorite guilty pleasure songs filled the speakers, several people in the bar started cheering. Dean shimmied his shoulders as he started his part of the song, “Baby seems we never ever agree… You like the movies… And I like TV...”_

 

_Dean was pretty impressed at how seamlessly Cas went into his part of the verse, the best part of it being, neither of them really needed to look up at the monitor for the lyrics. “I take things serious… And you take 'em light…”_

 

_As they both got into the song, Dean started pulling his best Abdul moves, Cas managing to keep up with him. They sang the chorus in harmony, “I take two steps forward… I take two steps back… We come together… ‘Cause opposites attract…”_

 

_He grabbed Cas’s hand before spinning out, to spin right back in, back now pressed against his friend’s torso. Dean smiled over his shoulder, enjoying the heated tinge of Cas’s cheeks, likely from exertion and probably the six purple nurples they’d just downed._

 

_Several people had come up to the makeshift dance floor, clapping and getting into the song. Cas made his voice deeper as he nailed the rap part. Dean laughed outright, it never failed to impress him. By the time the song ended, the entire bar erupted into applause._

 

_Dean looped his arm over Cas’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. The drag queen host grabbed their microphones and announced, “I’d hate to follow you two! Let’s hear another round of applause for Miss Abdul and M.C. Scat Kat!”_

 

 _They bowed and made their way back to their table. Their_ **_empty_ ** _table. Cynthia and her best friend were long gone, at least, he assumed because of the lack of jackets, purses, and a tip left on the table. He turned to Cas and shrugged. “Wanna sing another song?”_

 

* * *

 

 _Shit._ Even then, Cas always came first. Seemed like that was going to be their thing for a while. Dean made his way to the entertainment center, slotting next to a young guy with bright blue hair and asked him where they pulled the songs from. The guy grinned and told him YouTube.

 

Without hesitation Dean headed over to where Cas was still arguing about whatever the hell he was arguing about and grabbed his forearm. “Cas, I need you.”

 

“Of course,” Cas answered without hesitation. Another reason why he loved him. Cas never asked, ‘for what?’ It was always, ‘of course,’ with him.

 

Dragging his friend back to the entertainment center, the blue haired guy grinned as he handed them a couple of mics. At Cas’s bemused expression, Dean grinned. “Our song,” he explained.

 

Cas nodded, understanding as he winked at Dean. “Don’t let the others hear we have a song. They’re just going to feel validated.”

 

Dean leaned in to press a kiss to Cas’s cheek. “Too late.”

 

Cas chuckled. “Damn, maybe we should just set a date for our wedding already.”

 

“Five years and counting,” Dean teased with an eyebrow waggle.

 

“Dean… did you really mean that about the five year plan, or was that just a joke?” Cas asked carefully.

 

His heart rate doubled, while he had been joking, the thought of convincing Cas to pull some lame, rom-com, five year plan, marriage pact was probably the only way he would get even remotely close to a real relationship with his best friend. Before Dean could answer, the music started up and instantly they both got into the groove of the song.

 

Dean was surprised they both managed to remember their makeshift dance steps from all of those years ago. Even Sam joined in on the dancing and that clumsy moose should _never_ be allowed to dance, but it was still pretty awesome.

 

By the end of the song, the entire room was singing along with them. Dean was laughing out the lyrics by the end, grasping onto Cas’s arm as he tried to compose himself.

 

Sam clapped Cas on the back and grinned. “Did you guys rehearse or something?”

 

“It’s not the first time we’ve sang this. We’ve been singing this duet since high school. Can’t believe you never had the pleasure of seeing it before,” Cas answered with a grin, covering Dean’s hand on his arm with his own.

 

Gabriel appeared out of nowhere, leaning against Sam as he slurred, “You guys even have a fucking song? Just get fucking married already!”

 

Cas gave Dean a long suffering look. “See?”

 

“He’s just jealous because our song is awesome and his and Kali’s is lame,” Dean teased, ignoring the pang of frustration he felt at everything. It was getting harder and harder to play things cool when literally everything about their situation made Dean’s feelings for Cas stronger by the minute.

 

“That’s because _we’re_ awesome, Dean.” Cas grinned as he pinched his brother, not even bothering to look away from Dean.  

 

“Got the song, got the tuxes,” he teased, purposely leaving the rest of the sentence hanging to thoroughly confuse their friends and family.

 

Cas stepped closer to him, leaning forward until his lips brushed his ear. “Then I guess in five years, I’m yours.”

 

Dean choked out a laugh, because if he didn’t, he’d fucking cry. _Shit._ So, now he had to make sure Cas didn’t meet somebody else for five years.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean was fast asleep next to him and Cas couldn’t stop himself from carding his fingers through his hair. He couldn’t sleep. All he could think about was that he didn’t want Dean to meet anyone else in the next five years. Or ever.

 

He wondered if Dean would really do it. Like in those rom-coms Dean always forced him to watch. It would be perfect if life would just work out like that. If Dean would suddenly realize that Cas was the one for him. But real life sadly didn’t work that way.

 

He would just have to take what Dean was ready to give, and if that was just his friendship with awesome sex on the side, he should be grateful. But still he hoped for more. He hoped that their friends were actually right for a change. _Fuck._ That would make him incredibly happy.

 

Cas sighed deeply, pulling Dean closer into his arms as he closed his eyes. He could dream. He could always dream.


	10. Can't Get Enough of You Baby

**Chapter 10**

 

Dean felt a little exposed as he boarded the red line at 63rd.  Cas had instructed him to take the train to Belmont, to stand in the back, and to make sure he was wearing the new pair of white lace panties he bought him at the beginning of when they’d started all of this. Not that he’d never worn panties in public before. Hidden beneath a pair of jeans, it wasn’t as though the strangers around him would know.

 

But it was the way Cas had given him these instructions, the almost lilt to his voice when he’d called Dean and asked him to stop by when he got off work. He needed a scene to blow off steam and Dean was more than happy to oblige. 

 

As Dean made his way to the back of the train, he felt a little bit like a sardine. It was just past five, which meant every single person in the goddamn city was taking the train home from work. Managing to grab ahold of a hand strap, he was able to steady himself against the constant jostling and pushing as the train filled to capacity. Probably over capacity.

 

Instantly, his firefighter brain switched on and he started doing a silent headcount, trying to determine how much of a fire hazard it was and debating whether or not it would be worth it to give a damn. 

 

Suddenly he felt a strong hand on his hip and a warm body pressing against him from behind. "Don't turn around," Cas whispered in a low voice.

 

Dean leaned into his friend’s body, a grin spreading over his face, not that Cas could see. “Well, howdy, stranger.”

 

Cas hummed in his ear. "So many people in here." Cas wrapped his arms around his hips, his teeth playing with Dean's earlobe, as he whispered, "Wondering if they somehow suspect that you're a filthy little sextoy."

 

_ Oh, fuck.  _ His fantasy. His fucking fantasy. Dean had almost forgotten he had confided in Cas his dirtiest fantasy, and here they were, the middle of rush hour traffic on a ridiculously crowded train, Dean wearing the panties his Dom had instructed him to wear. He had to repress the groan that was threatening to escape. His grip on the hand strap tightened as he canted his ass against Cas’s groin. 

 

Cas chuckled lowly, one of his hands slowly tracing along the waistband of Dean's jeans to his ass before he slipped his hand between his legs, stroking over his inner thigh and ass with his palm. "You're so needy. I bet you're already half hard just from these few touches," Cas whispered in his ear again before he palmed over Dean's balls as he slipped his hand in between his legs again.

 

Dean couldn't help the tiny whimper that escaped. It was intoxicating the way Cas made him feel. How true those words were, but only because they were coming from Cas. Being surrounded by strangers on a train and the only person that existed in his world was his best friend, who was presently trying to break Dean down in the dirtiest way possible.

 

“Fuck,” he hissed quietly, trying his best to not draw attention to them.

 

Cas hushed him, the thumb over his hip rubbed soothing circles over him and he wished he could feel him on his skin instead having the thick cloth of his jeans between them. "I think I should check what you're wearing underneath your jeans." Cas started kissing him behind his ear before he slipped his hand carefully in on the backside of Dean's jeans. He hooked his fingers into his panties and pulled lightly, putting pressure on his dick and letting the fabric slid in between his crack, rubbing over his hole.

 

Staying quiet was getting more and more difficult, but thankfully Cas had been training him periodically over the last few weeks. He let out a soft hiss, his cock now completely hard. 

 

"What do we have here?" Cas chuckled into his ear as he pulled his panties back and forth in between his fingers. "Did you make yourself pretty for me?" He slid one finger between his ass cheeks and prodded against his hole.

 

Even more than he thought himself capable, actually. Dean had even gone so far as to make an appointment with a salon and got waxed and bleached for him. Something he never would have thought himself capable of doing in a million years. Cas was constantly challenging Dean in new and exciting ways. He could only hope his friend liked the results. 

 

Dean nodded dumbly to answer Cas’s question, not able to trust in staying quiet if he made any kind of noise.

 

"I didn't hear you, pet," Cas chastised as he pinched his ass cheek.

 

“Yes, Master,” he whispered before he bit his lip to repress the moans begging to be unleashed.

 

Cas removed his fingers from Dean's jeans and pulled back slightly before he got closer again and leaned in to whisper, "Good." He slid his hand into Dean's jeans again, pushing a wet finger against his hole. "Spread your legs a little bit for me."

 

Dean managed to widen his stance a little more, trying to not knock into the strangers surrounding them. He held his breath at the way Cas started to tease his hole. It was kind of insane just how turned on he was, not just from his friend’s ministrations, but the fact that they were in public, giving it an air of danger on top of sensuality… Dean was pretty much okay with getting arrested for public indecency at that point.

 

"I'm going to make you come and if you can't keep quiet, I'm pulling up your panties so everyone in here can see them," Cas whispered in his ear before he pushed his finger inside of him.

 

That made him gasp, causing the man next to him to look over at them. Dean gave the guy a weak smile and he turned away again. 

 

"That was close, huh? Don't test me, pet," Cas practically purred into his ear as his finger drilled deeper until he reached his prostate. Cas’s other arm around his waist tightened, pulling him closer as Cas rested his chin on his shoulder. For a bystander, it probably looked like they were just cuddling, like a couple. But in reality, Cas was finger fucking him.

 

Dean’s breathing was shallow as he tried to keep his vocal cords in check. He bit down on his lip as Cas started to viciously tap against his prostate with every single thrust of his finger. When a coppery taste struck his tongue, he realized he’d bitten so hard he drew blood. Whatever it took to stay quiet and not draw the attention of their entire train to what was being done to him in that moment. 

 

"When you come in your nice, pretty panties, you'll have to walk home like that. A constant reminder of what you just did in front of all these people." Cas pushed in and out of him faster, rubbing his fingers over his prostate every time. "And when we get home, you’ll strip your jeans so I can get a good look at my dirty toy, before I bend you over the nearest available surface and fuck you."

 

At that Dean did groan, a soft and needy sound. Thankfully the next stop was being announced overhead and no one paid him any mind. He was already so close, if he wasn't so turned on, he might feel embarrassed.

 

Somehow Cas had hooked his other fingers around his panties and was pulling at them again, trapping his cock in the strained fabric as he dragged it back and forth, causing an incredible friction against his dick. At the same time Cas finger fucked him harder as he nudged his nose against his ear. "Can't wait to have you home and come inside of you." 

 

The combination of the relentless tapping at his prostate, the friction against his dick, and Cas’s words pushed him over the edge. Dean shuddered as he came untouched embarrassingly fast. On a public train. Surrounded by goddamn strangers. Unable to stop himself, he craned his neck back in order to yank Cas into a sloppy kiss. Moaning into his mouth as the tremors slowly subsided. 

 

Cas gave him a smug smile. "That will be ten slaps when we get home for dirty cheating by kissing me." He hummed. "I love spanking you when you wear your nice underwear. You look so beautiful, draped over my lap like that."

 

“Worth it, Master,” he whispered. 

 

Cas slowly pulled his hand out of Dean's jeans, smiling at Dean before he leaned over for a quick kiss. "Then I should probably make it fifteen."

 

“Make it twenty, because if you don’t take me home and fuck me right now, I’m about to jump on the first cock I see,” he huffed out as he turned around and yanked Cas forward into a proper kiss. 

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

The first thing Cas did was grab Dean's collar from his bedroom, ordering Dean to stay in the living room and wait until he was back. His dick was already hard in his jeans, bordering on uncomfortable, but he had to wait a bit longer. There were a few things he had to do before he allowed himself to fuck Dean.

 

He strapped the collar around Dean's throat before he walked around him with a content smile. "Strip. Except for your panties."

 

Dean obeyed, speed almost dizzying as he practically ripped his shirt off and slid out of his pants. Standing there in the white lace thong, his perfect ass on display, cock straining against the practically sheer material. He was beautiful. 

 

Cas gasped as he let his fingers ghost over the soiled area in the front and the dried semen on Dean's stomach. "Look at you being so dirty." He circled Dean with a predatory grin before he went to his couch and sat down. "Come here, pet. I want you over my lap. It's time for your punishment."

 

Without hesitation he sprawled himself across Cas’s lap, bracing his hands on the couch arm rest, but legs splayed a little more open for him. Just like he taught Dean.

 

He slowly pulled down Dean's panties, revealing his perfect ass. He loved the sight of them hanging around Dean's thighs. Moments like this reminded him again how perfect Dean was for him. It felt like winning the lottery finding out Dean had a panty kink. He just wished it could be more than just sex between them. 

 

He traced letters and patterns over the skin, teasingly dipping his finger in between the cheeks, letting it rub over Dean's hole before he raised his hand and slapped him hard with his palm.

 

Dean let out a pleasured gasp at the contact. Cas stroked the cheek lovingly before he slapped him hard in the same spot four more times. He smiled when he noticed a red mark forming on Dean's ass. "I can almost see my handprint on your ass."

 

He licked over his index finger before he teased Dean’s hole again, prodding and circling it. "My dirty little toy... Are you getting desperate for my cock again?"

 

“Yes, Master,” he breathed out. 

 

Cas rubbed his palm over Dean's ass and slapped him five times in a row, enjoying the way Dean gasped every time, and how he rubbed his hard length against Cas's leg. He used his other hand to spread Dean's cheeks, tugging his hole open as he spit in his other hand and let it slowly trickle onto Dean, spreading his spit on Dean's hole before he pressed his thumb inside. He pushed the digit in and out, massaging and teasing Dean as he let his other fingers slip between Dean's legs and under his panties to caress his balls.

 

Dean groaned, canting his ass upwards, chasing the contact, the pressure. “Master, please…”

 

"You still have ten more slaps for being a naughty toy." Cas grabbed the small leather whip with his free hand and let the leather straps teasingly caress Dean's ass while he fingered him with his other hand.

 

The breathy moan that escaped Dean’s mouth was bordering on pornographic. “I need your cock, sir,” he whined.

 

Cas's dick throbbed in his boxer briefs at Dean's begging, he couldn't wait to fuck Dean. He groaned as he started to whip Dean's ass. "You are such a dirty cock slut. I still haven't decided where I'm going to shoot my load... I bet you want it everywhere on you... In you."  

 

“I wanna feel you fill my ass this time, sir,” Dean groaned out. 

 

"Such a demanding little toy... but you'll get your wish. When I'm done with your punishment." Cas pulled his thumb out of Dean's ass and spread his cheeks so he could whip Dean's hole.

 

Dean gasped, his knuckles whitening from his grip on the couch armrest. “Fuck, Cas…”

 

Cas moaned. Hearing his name fall from Dean's lips like that was definitely his weakness. He whipped Dean another five times until his ass was red with marks before he dropped the whip to the side and grabbed the lube. He squirted the liquid directly on Dean’s waiting and spread hole before he pushed two fingers inside. Dean was already open and ready for him so he didn't need to do much more. "Stand up." 

 

He practically scrambled out of Cas’s lap, obediently getting into his standing position.

 

Cas opened his jeans and pushed them down and off together with his underwear before he pulled his t-shirt unceremoniously over his head and dropped it behind the couch. “Come on, on my lap, toy. You want me to fill your ass, you have to ride me.”

 

With a dizzying speed, Dean was crawling onto Cas’s lap again, facing him. His green irises were practically gone from the dilation of his pupils. Dean let out a deep exhale as he positioned himself before reaching behind to grasp Cas’s cock. With a swift ease, Dean lined him up to his hole.

 

Despite the extensive fingering on the train and just now, when the head of his dick pushed past the ring of muscle, they let out a harmonious groan at the tightness. Dean’s well used hole was just as tight as the first time they had sex, it was pretty damn amazing. As he slowly sank down on Cas’s cock, Dean braced his other arm on the back of the couch. 

 

When he bottomed out, Dean let out a deep exhale and sat there for a moment, getting used to him. After a moment, their eyes locked and Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck. Slowly, ever so slowly, he started moving. The tightness, the heat, the mind blowing ability Dean had to render him almost speechless from his skills when it came to sex…

 

It didn’t take long before Dean was undulating his hips at a more frantic pace, riding him faster, harder, better than anyone ever had before.

 

Cas grabbed Dean's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, moaning into it as he wrapped his other hand around Dean's cock, rubbing his thumb through Dean's precome. He pressed his forehead against Dean’s, panting against his lips, whispering something… A praise, how much he loved this... how close he was. He wasn’t sure. Everything just vanished from his mind and all that was left was  _ Dean, Dean, Dean.  _

 

“Fuck, baby… I’m gonna,” Dean practically moaned.

 

Cas bit his lip again, hard. He was so damn close. “Kiss me, Dean.”

 

Dean moaned before crashing into him. Cas was swallowing Dean’s whimpers as he continued to ride him. When Dean came, he gasped out Cas's name like a prayer, clenching around his cock with each shuddery pulse.

 

Cas could taste blood on his lips from where he had bit down. As he fucked Dean through his orgasm, he couldn't hold back any longer and shot his load into Dean with a deep groan. His cock now nestled deep inside Dean, Cas closed his eyes, enjoying the instinctual pull of marking his lover as his. 

 

There was a quiet voice in him, telling him he fucked up. That he had let his emotions bleed into the scene, but he stubbornly ignored it. He tried to get his breathing under control as he looked up at Dean with a grin. "You okay?"

 

Dean let out a breathy chuckle. “I fucking love the way you fuck, Cas.”

 

Cas felt extraordinary brave in that moment, probably because he was still high on his orgasm. "So much that I’ve ruined you forever for other people?"

 

Dean’s expression grew pretty serious, especially for Dean. “Cas, you ruined me for other people the day we met. You’re the best person I’ve ever known.”

 

Cas felt his heart skip a beat. God, he wanted to tell Dean how he felt about him in that moment... but he was so afraid it would destroy everything between them, shifting it to something Dean didn't want. Instead he just gave him a weak smile and pulled him closer. "Good, because I want to keep you."

 

“You’ll always get to keep me. Glitter Winchester, remember?”

 

Cas chuckled. “Glitter is something you don’t want to keep, but can’t get rid of, Dean.” He kissed Dean’s throat, rubbing his nose against his skin as he wrapped his arms around him to pull him close.

 

“Can I stay tonight?” he asked, sounding almost timid.

 

"Of course." He pulled Dean into a deep, but tender kiss before he murmured, "Whenever you want." The moment felt incredibly intimate. He was still inside Dean and they were so close, so careful with each other. It was too easy to pretend things were different between them. "Dean..." he breathed against Dean's lips, drawing him into another kiss. A kiss that touched his heart, making it stumble and reach out for his friend. Never wanting to let go of that moment. 

 

But reality knocked persistently on his mind’s figurative door and he pulled back with a defeated sigh. “Come on, handsome. Let’s get you cleaned up again.”

 

Dean sighed dramatically. “Not sure I can walk.”

 

Cas gave him a soft smile. “That’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around him and kissed the tip of his nose. “Just hold onto me.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean had only been half-teasing when he said he couldn’t walk, although he wouldn’t have been surprised if it was true. It always surprised him how strong Cas was, even though there had been many a time the guy had held him up against a wall, or carried him to the bedroom. Dean wasn’t overweight by any means, even though he’d put on a few pounds since he and Cas started their D/s thing (for which he blamed Cas entirely for the amount of chocolate he was feeding him), but he wasn’t a scrawny thing either. He had a couple inches on Cas and was a little stockier than him, too.

 

Even with the weight gain, Cas easily stood up, holding Dean as though he weighed nothing.

 

“Damn, Cas!” Dean wrapped his legs around Cas as he proceeded to walk them to the bathroom. “Are you secretly the Hulk?” 

 

All of his teasing aside, Dean was still impressed and he fell that much more in love with Cas in that moment. Despite being a pretty hardcore cliche, he was pretty enamored with the idea of a guy being able to take care of him in so many ways. There was something so incredibly comforting in being carried, which probably stemmed from childhood.

 

“I’m not sure green is my color.” Cas chuckled as he opened the bathroom door with his elbow. “You know I go jogging with Sam once a week and meet him at the gym regularly, right?”

 

“Still doesn’t account for the super human strength. I think you’re secretly a superhero and I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little heartbroken you never told me.”

 

“You want to know my secret identity?” Cas grinned as he sat Dean down on the edge of his bathtub, slowly pulling his panties all the way down and off. 

 

Dean looked up at him incredulously and feigned a stern expression, but unable to hide his smile. “I thought superheroes were supposed to keep their secret identities a secret? What makes you so special?”

 

Cas shook his head and leaned closer, making his voice even deeper than usual as he whispered, “Because I’m Batman.”

 

That should not have been arousing, considering he’d literally had two orgasms in the last couple of hours. Pretty intense ones, too. Dean chuckled and shook his head. “You’re a dork.”

 

Cas waggled his eyebrows, before he started the shower and held his hand under the water. “You like me anyway.”

 

“Well, yeah. You’re  _ my  _ dork.” Dean couldn’t help but stare at his friend as he was leaned forward, testing the water’s temperature. 

 

Cas really was one sexy man. It was kind of astounding. And on top of it all, to be so funny, nice, smart, and the right level of nerdy. He was pretty much the perfect guy. Not just for Dean, but for anyone really. It seemed such a fucking waste the guy wasn’t into relationships.

 

“Cas? Can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course,” Cas mumbled with a concentrated look on his face before he turned to face Dean and held out his hand to him.

 

“What made you get into BDSM in the first place?” While over the course of the past couple of months Cas had delved into his different experiences and what he liked and didn’t like, he’d never really told Dean what got him interested in the subculture.

 

Cas pulled Dean under the shower with him and started to wash him with a soft sponge while he chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip. “Everything started because I was bored with the sex I had. I always felt like something was missing, or that my partner had more fun than I did. Normal sex left me kind of unsatisfied. I wanted something more… more intense.” 

 

He licked over his lip, a concentrated frown on his face as he slid the sponge between Dean’s legs. “And that’s when I started to look for different kinds of sex… Turn around.”

 

Dean did as instructed without even thinking about it. “But what made you think that kinky ass sex might be your thing?”

 

Cas washed Dean’s back and ass with the sponge, one hand wrapped around his chest, kissing Dean’s shoulder. “It wasn’t a decision. I didn’t wake up and suddenly realize that BDSM is what I wanted to do for the rest of my sex life. It was more like a gradual learning experience, of myself and my own desires, and in my exploration phase it built up to that. All my experiences, bad and good, kind of shaped what I like today... Does your ass hurt?”

 

“A little. I might need that cream later.” Dean turned back to face Cas. “But like… Did you get spanked during sex and realize it turned you on more… or like… I don’t know. What made the switch in your brain click to looking into it in the first place at all?”

 

Cas shut off the water and grabbed a huge fluffy towel that he wrapped around Dean before he grabbed one for himself. “It’s kind of a long story. I think the short version is: I went through dating websites and stumbled over some people with kinks I knew nothing about. One girl liked handcuffs. I liked that she trusted me. After that I found a website, where I’m still a member. I slowly started to read up on stuff, but I was still… naive and too insecure. I had no idea what I liked and I wanted to test if being dominated was something I might like. To trust someone so completely.” Cas’s voice got quieter after saying that and he looked up at Dean with a small frown. “Want to join me in my bed?”

 

Dean pulled Cas into a hug. “I’m sorry that fucker took that ability to trust from you.”

 

Cas leaned back, giving him a serious look. “I trust you.”

 

He cupped Cas’s cheek and gave him a soft smile. “And you always can. Maybe not with your booze, or your snack foods. But with your feelings? Yeah. I got you.”

 

Cas smiled at him brightly and leaned over for a soft kiss before he pulled him to his bedroom and into his bed. He wrapped the blanket around them and pulled Dean close. “After that experience… well, at least I knew what I  _ didn’t  _ like and I found the other side of the coin. I still felt aroused by the trust part, but I realized it was better when I was the person my partner had trust in. And after that, I discovered how fucking good it felt when I had complete power over someone else’s pleasure. I think that’s maybe the biggest difference between that asshole and me. He just wanted to feel that power and abused it, and I treated it as a gift that I cherished.”

 

Dean curled into Cas’s chest. “So essentially you get off on your partner getting off?”

 

Cas chuckled and nodded. “Yes. Is that weird?”

 

“Nah, I get it. The face you make when you come is probably my favorite of your faces.”

 

Cas groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. His voice sounded muffled, “Oh, man. I don’t even want to know.”

 

Dean chuckled and leaned up to look at Cas’s face. He moved his friend’s hand from its place of attempting to hide him. “Castiel Novak. You are a very pretty man when you come.” He grinned broadly.

 

Cas responded with a skeptic look and a lopsided smile. “If you say so… How did you end up on a BDSM website, chatting up random Doms for sex?”

 

At that Dean’s smile instantly vanished.  _ Fuck.  _ Through all of his contentment the past couple of months, he’d kind of forgotten how he deceived his best friend in the first place. Damn, he was such a shitty person. Dean drew back and moved to sit up, crossing his legs as he looked down at Cas. And right after he’d told Dean he trusted him.

 

Dean shook his head sadly. “I’ve gotta tell you something.”

 

Cas slowly sat up as well, looking confused. “Okay?”

 

He sighed, trying to formulate the way to make what he did sound less shitty. When he realized there wasn’t one, he just pushed forward. “Remember a couple months back, when you let me use your computer to check on my eBay bid?”

 

Cas gave him a thoughtful look. “Um, yes…” He squinted his eyes and asked, “The night when you were totally weird and asked about my sex life?”

 

Dean nodded. “Well, the reason I was weird and asking you questions about your sex life is ‘cause I saw your email. It was totally an accident…” He felt the need to clarify, “I wasn’t intentionally snooping, it just popped up. The subject line caught my attention and I kind of read through it. It was…” He let out another sigh. “It was an email from a potential sub. So, I took a shot of your profile info and, uh… I messaged you that night.”

 

He closed his eyes, feeling even more like a dick. “I wasn’t trying to mess with you or anything. I was shocked to read what you wrote, feeling like I’d never seen you before. I kind of wanted to know if it was true. And then… Then I liked it.” Dean slowly opened his eyes. The silence between them was deafening, Cas’s damnable blank expression not giving anything away. After a beat, Dean sighed and asked, “Aren’t you gonna say something?”

 

Dean expected anything; from Cas blowing up and throwing him out, to not talking to him for a week, or maybe giving him a silent treatment while he contemplated Dean’s punishment. He did  _ not  _ expect Cas to burst into laughter. Cas held his hand infront of his mouth, trying to stifle his laughter. “I already know.”

 

“What do you mean you already  _ know?”  _

 

“Found the picture you took of my profile on your phone when you told me I could forward Sam’s grocery list for the Halloween shopping to my phone.”

 

Dean stared at him for a moment, kind of dazed, before snapping back to reality and grabbing a pillow to hit Cas upside the head with it. “You’ve known for  _ weeks  _ and you just thought you’d let me keep on thinking I was the worst friend in the world?”

 

Cas’s hair stood up in every direction when he pulled the pillow away and his friend gave him an innocent look. “I wanted to see when you would confess,  _ sinner.”  _ Cas’s words were accompanied by a pillow being smacked right in Dean’s face.

 

Dean shook his head and scoffed. “Fine. If that’s how it’s gonna be, then I’m not even a little bit sorry and I’m glad I catfished you.” He poked his tongue out at Cas before throwing Cas’s pillow back at him.

 

Cas easily dodged it and pushed Dean down onto the bed, sliding on top of him. “I’m glad you catfished me, too.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean was sitting on Cas’s couch, absentmindedly flipping through the channels while his friend was on the phone with Balthazar, at least that was his guess from the amount of exasperated sighs and adamant refusals he kept hearing. Annoyed with the nothing that was on TV, he put it on a music channel, classic rock.

 

He leaned his elbow over the back of the couch and rested his chin against his forearm to watch Cas pace. Cas mouthed a silent, “Sorry,” at Dean as he rolled his eyes and continued to pretend to be listening. Dean gave him an understanding smile, content to watch Cas try not to explode.

 

_ Damn.  _ Dean was stupid for the guy. When his own phone started to vibrate, he smiled to see his mom was calling.

 

“Hey, Mom. How’s it goin’?”

 

_ “Good. Other than the fact my horrible children don’t visit me anymore.” _

 

Dean chuckled. “Hey, I figured you and the old man woulda  _ liked  _ havin’ time to yourselves?”

 

_ “I’ve been married to the man for over thirty years, we see enough of each other.” _

 

Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the way his Dad started protesting in the background, the pair of them bickering at each other, but a playful edge to their tone. It was pretty adorable, actually. He’d love to be able to have that sort of relationship. The kind of comfortable camaraderie, a level of love and playfulness, while still being able to call each other an asshole when necessary… Dean looked up and watched as Cas started waving his free hand in frustration.

 

_ Huh.  _ Maybe he already did. “Anyway, Mom. So, you miss me?”

 

_ “Yes! Tomorrow night I’m making dinner. Your brother and Eileen are already coming, so you don’t get a choice. You and Cas have to come.” _

 

Dean smiled. For the past ten years his mom had basically treated Cas like her son-in-law. He wasn’t entirely sure if she was just being playful, or if the woman was absolutely convinced they actually were married or something. “I’ll make sure Cas is free and we’ll be there, I promise.”

 

_ “You better, Dean Alexander. An entire month without seeing one of my kids is too long.” _

 

“Middle name, huh? I  _ must  _ be in trouble.”

 

She chuckled.  _ “You bet your ass you are and…”  _ There was some muffled shouting in the background before she returned to the phone.  _ “Your father says to not bother coming if you don’t bring Castiel. But your father doesn’t get to make those sorts of demands!” _

 

Dean laughed again. “I’m not good enough for the old man?”

 

That was met with another laugh.  _ “Oh, shush. You know how much your father adores that boy.” _

 

“Mom, we’re both in our late thirties. Dad knows we haven’t been boys for like, at least eighteen years?”

 

_ “Anyway, you both better be here tomorrow. Six. Bring wine.” _

 

“You got it, Mom. Love you.”

 

_ “Love you, too…”  _ He didn’t hear the rest because there was more muffled arguing before the line disconnected.

 

Dean shook his head at his phone. His parents were downright ridiculous sometimes. He turned to look up at Cas who seemed to finally be ending his phone call. With a frustrated growl he said goodbye and tossed his phone onto the kitchen counter, scrubbing his hand over his face.

 

Without hesitation, Dean got up and approached Cas, invading his space as he peppered the guy’s face with kisses. “S’goin’ on, Cas?”

 

Cas’s scowl morphed into a chuckle as he playfully and halfheartedly tried to get away, but he ended up wrapping his arms around Dean and kissing him back. “Just B. He wants me to cover for him again next week,” he murmured against Dean’s lips. “Remind me again why I’m friends with him?”

 

Dean shrugged.“I actually have no idea, honestly… Guy’s a spazz.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes. “Don’t use that word, you know I hate that.”

 

He winced. Cas had always been extremely careful in the language and terms he used when it came to marginalized populations. It was why he had no trouble with pronouns. He was thoughtful. Dean tried to watch what or how he said shit, but sometimes things would slip. “Sorry. Guy’s a jackass. Better?”

 

Cas chuckled. “Yes, thank you. And I don’t know. He also wants to set me up again with some guy he knows from – I don’t even  _ want  _ to know.” He shuddered.

 

When the jealousy struck, Dean wasn’t all that prepared for it. He didn’t like the thought of Cas meeting anyone else. They were sexually exclusive, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. They weren’t in an  _ actual  _ relationship… Dean tightened his grip around Cas. “You’re not gonna, right?”

 

Cas gave him a confused look. “Of course not. I’m with you.” His eyes widened for a moment before he amended, “I mean, I’m not interested in meeting someone else… What we have is… it’s, um… I like it a lot and yes…  _ not  _ interested in something,  _ anything  _ else.”

 

Dean chuckled, giving Cas an eskimo kiss. “Good. Me either.”

 

Cas rubbed the back of his head with a shy smile, his eyes darting away. “I’ll start cooking now. I bet you’re hungry…. Was that your mom on the phone?”

 

“Yeah! We are being ordered to come to dinner tomorrow. Dad won’t let me in if you don’t come with, so if you have plans, you’re gonna have to cancel.” He chuckled. Dean kind of loved the fact that his entire family loved Cas as much as he did. His Dad had a particularly soft spot for Cas after what happened with his parents when he came out.

 

Cas smiled. “I had only planned to spend time with you, but  _ of course  _ I’ll ditch that to spend time with your dad.”

 

“You both seem to like each other more than me. Should I be worried?” Dean teased. 

 

“I’ve been friends with you for over twenty years, we see enough of each other,” Cas teased back.

 

Dean let out a surprised chuckle. The fact that Cas parroted what his mom had said to his dad earlier made him feel warm. Content. Hell, even if Cas never wanted to make it official, never wanted to actually date Dean, and never returned his feelings; if what they had stayed like this? That was more than good enough for him. 

 

He feigned a pout. “It’s not fair, you don’t have any family members I’d rather spend time with… My choices are Gabe and… That’s it. Gabe. He’s the only bearable one.”

 

“You would never run out of candy with him.” Cas shrugged before he wrapped his arms around Dean and pushed him against the table playfully. He leaned over to his ear and growled, “Also, I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

 

Dean drew back. “But I have to share you with my dad?”

 

Cas shook his head with a smile and intertwined their hands. “No, you’ll be with me all the time.”

 

“You know I’m not a possession, right?”

 

Cas quirked his eyebrow. “Are you sure? Because I seem to recall that I read somewhere on your body that you’re the property of one Dr. Castiel Novak.”

 

Dean chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “You’re right. Guess I’m your property then.”

 

Cas kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you.”

 

He couldn’t help but smile. Cas always did. That was one thing he could always depend on.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

They had only been five minutes late because the train was delayed, and still Mary chastised Dean as they stepped into his childhood home.

 

“I said six!”

 

Dean groaned. “We’re  _ barely  _ late…” He took off his jacket and held his hand out for Cas’s to hang them up.

 

Mary quirked her brow and turned to Cas, motherly exasperated expression completely gone as her face practically lit up over seeing Cas. If Dean didn’t totally get that feeling, he’d almost feel jealous his mom liked Cas better than him.

 

“Cas, baby. How are you?” she asked as she pulled him in for a hug.

 

“I’m very well, Mary. How are you?”

 

She drew back and patted him on the cheek. “Better now that all of my boys are here.” She turned around and barked, “John, Cas is here!”

 

Dean scoffed. “What am I? Chopped liver?”

 

Mary winked and patted Dean’s cheek, too. “We  _ have  _ to love you, we  _ choose  _ to love Cas.”

 

He got that, too.  _ Damn.  _ He loved his family. Dean laughed when John came barreling into the foyer, eyes lighting up at seeing both of them. He gave Dean a bear hug, patting him on the shoulder before practically lifting Cas up with the way he hugged him. “Been too long, boys…”

 

Cas smiled brightly. “Truer words… Hello, John.”

 

“I missed you boys. Cas, I found this great new coffee shop that makes their own honey…” He practically dragged Cas into the living room as he continued going on and on about the damn homemade honey. Dean was kind of glad in that moment that he wasn’t trying to bring Cas home as a boyfriend, because he’d almost be embarrassed by his parents. 

 

Dean slipped his arm over his mom’s shoulders and walked into the living room with her, where Sam and Eileen were sitting on the couch, watching the way Cas was actually legitimately interested in their Dad’s tirade about bees.

 

[Hey, Eileen, how are you?] Dean signed to her. 

 

She smiled and signed back [I’m good. You might not get your husband back though.]

 

Dean narrowed his eyes at her and Sam. “You both suck,” he said aloud.

 

Eileen blew him a kiss.

 

Cas looked up at him with a loving smile. “Don’t let them tease you. Come here.” He patted on the free space on the couch next to him.

 

Dean smiled and moved to sit next to Cas, leaning his head on his shoulder and ignoring his brother’s smirk. Cas wrapped his arm around him and kissed the top of his head. “Don’t worry. The evil moose can’t get to you here.”

 

John regarded them curiously. “Did you finally man up and ask Cas out?”

 

Dean groaned. “Dad! Come on.”

 

John shrugged. “Hey, I was just askin’. Not my fault I'm team… what did you call it, Sam? Deastiel?”

 

He narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Seriously?”

 

“It’s Destiel,” Cas corrected dryly.

 

Dean turned to Cas and looked at him incredulously. “You’re not helping…”

 

“But shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” Sam interjected. 

 

“Deastiel sounds weird. I like Destiel better because it sounds like destiny,” Cas continued, totally ignoring Dean’s objection. 

 

“Can I disown all of you?” He moaned, scrubbing his hand over his face.

 

“If you wanna get technical, Dean. You’d disown us, but you’d divorce Cas,” Sam quipped, his smirk firmly in place.

 

“And you can’t disown me at all,” Eileen added.

 

“But first you have to marry me, Dean. Otherwise you can’t divorce me.” Cas nodded.

 

Mary arrived in that moment, carrying a tray with a few beers and some fruity girly drinks for her, Eileen, and Cas. “You two are already married.”

 

“Exactly!” John pointed out as he grabbed a beer and pressed a kiss to Mary’s cheek. 

 

Dean slowly counted to ten. As much as he loved his family, he was ready to deck each and every one of them. Usually their light-hearted and playful banter would be fun, Dean more than ready to give as good as he got. But they were all hitting a touchy subject. One Dean would rather not think about, considering he was in a one-sided relationship with his best friend, who had no idea the disgusting and romantic daydreams he constantly had about them.

 

Letting out a sigh, Dean bit out a short, “If you’re all finished being jackasses, maybe we can change the subject?”

 

Cas shot him an almost unreadable look, a mixture of worry and sadness before he grabbed his hand, squeezing it with a quick smile that didn't reach his eyes. He held the fruity stick that decorated his drink out to Dean. “Do you want my strawberry?”

 

_ Goddamnit.  _ That only made the little pang of pain in his heart worse. Dean shook his head and leaned forward to place his beer on the coffee table. He got up and left the room, at the contesting of everyone, ignoring them as he went through the patio door, closing it and making his way to the small bistro table out of sight of all of the onlookers. 

 

How the hell was he supposed to rectify his feelings for Cas and what they were doing? It was getting worse and worse every single day. From the simple and small things, like Cas’s reminder texts for menial and daily tasks that would usually slip Dean’s mind; to his adorable and sweet moments of comfort.

 

Dean hated how much he loved his best friend sometimes. As he let out a rough exhale, he could see his breath from how cold it was outside. Of course, it was November in Chicago. He probably shouldn’t have stormed outside without a jacket.

 

Just when he was about to go back inside, Sam rounded the corner, holding Dean’s jacket. “Cas only let me go after you if I brought your jacket.”

 

Dean chuckled and took the jacket, instantly grateful for the warmth. “Sorry for being a drama queen…”

 

“What’s up with you?” Sam asked softly. “You usually aren’t that sensitive.” 

 

With a deep exhale Dean moved to sit at the little table. He didn’t know how to answer his brother without saying something he’d never said out loud before. “I know… I just… Fuck, Sammy…”

 

“It’s about your feelings for Cas?” Sam sat down next to him, propping his chin on his hand.

 

He let out a mirthless chuckle. “You make it sound like some stupid, school girl crush.”

 

Sam smiled and tilted his head. “It’s a lot more with Cas, right?”

 

“Dude. It’s so much fucking more.”

 

Sam sighed and leaned back. “Have you considered telling him how you feel?”

 

Dean sighed. “Every fucking minute. But I guess I’m selfish. I don’t want what we have to stop. And I just… He doesn’t do love or relationships. I’d rather pretend I’m cool with everything and live in dreamland than possibly lose him, Sammy.”

 

Sam folded his hands on the table and cleared his throat. “Look, I know you don’t believe me – or any of us for that matter, but I think it’s worth the risk. We all see the way Cas looks at you and I’m pretty sure you’re his exception to this weird relationship-love rule he has.”

 

“And if I’m not?”

 

“Even if there were the  _ tiniest  _ possibility of him not feeling the same, which I sincerely doubt, you wouldn’t lose Cas. You’re a package deal. You’re like salt and pepper, Hewlett and Packard, Kirk and Spock… you just belong together.”

 

Dean shook his head sadly. “I get that we’ll stay friends, that even if he decides to stop what we have goin’, because I caught feelings, we’ll still be friends, but… I don’t think I could. The thought of him with anyone else makes me sick. If we stopped this, slowly but surely we’d end completely, ‘cause I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I can’t risk it, Sam. I just can’t.”

 

“And what if you  _ are  _ his exception? Wouldn’t that be worth it?”

 

“Sammy, it isn’t that easy, okay? It can’t be.”

 

“Why?” Sam shrugged. “I’m telling you, Dean. The both of you, you’re already  _ in  _ a relationship. Everyone can see that.”

 

Dean let out an aggravated sigh. “Please. I’m begging you. Just… drop it, okay?”

 

Sam shrugged his shoulders in surrender. “Alright… Look, Dean. We just want to you to be happy. You know that, right? So whenever you need support or just someone to vent to, I’m here for you.”

 

Dean smiled. “I know, Sammy. I know.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas had both of his arms full with two big brown paper bags as he opened his apartment door with his foot and elbow. He balanced them straight to the kitchen, hearing noises from his xbox, that sounded like Dean was playing Elite Sniper. “Honey, I’m home,” he sing-songed with a wide grin as he placed the bags on the kitchen counter and walked over to his living room. 

 

Dean was still sitting on the couch like he had left him, dirty t-shirt, boxershorts, controller in his hands, and an empty bowl of chips next to his feet. He paused the game and leaned over the back of the couch. “Dude! I killed Hitler!” The smile on his face was pretty damn proud.

 

Cas chuckled. “Did you shoot him in the balls?”

 

He looked crestfallen. “No! I didn’t know that was an option!”

 

“Seriously?” Cas asked in surprise. “That was the first thing I tried!”

 

“Nah, man. I shot the fucker square in the forehead. Man…” He pouted. When he took in Cas’s appearance his expression softened. “Rough day?”

 

Cas pulled off his trench coat and chucked off his shoes before he fell next to Dean on the couch. “Doesn’t matter. I’m home now.” He gave Dean a smile and grabbed the controller from him. “Want to see something really cool?”

 

“Sure,” he answered as he scooted over, pressing his side into Cas’s.

 

Cas saved Dean’s progress and switched users on the xbox to navigate to his own saved games. He scrolled through them until he found the file labeled 42 and grinned. “When I have a rough day, this is my happy place.” 

 

The saved game loaded and Dean clearly recognized the scene because he had just played through it. It was a few minutes before he had killed Hitler. Cas handed him back the controller. “Be my guest. Just aim lower and enjoy the show. I’m telling you, you didn’t know you missed this in your life until you’ve seen it.”

 

Dean grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek as he took the controller back. His gaze was then focused on the screen, tongue partly out in his concentration.

 

Cas grinned at him, rubbing his thumb over Dean’s bare kneecap for a moment. “I know you’re crashing here because they’re repairing the radiator in your apartment and it's cold... but now you sit here in your underwear and I suspect... you only want to be here for my xbox.”

 

“You caught me, Cas. We’re secretly in love. We’re even thinking of eloping,” he teased. Dean then pumped his fist in the air after shooting Hitler in the dick. “Hah! Take that, you nazi shithead!”

 

Cas held his hand in front of his chest and groaned. “My heart just shattered into a million pieces. I thought my xbox and me had something special and now she’s fallen for you and your damn freckles.”

 

Dean shrugged. “Don’t know what to tell ya’… Apparently freckles are one of her kinks. You never stood a chance.”

 

Cas sighed theatrically. “It’s not that I can’t understand her, but I thought we’d have more time together… I think I have to take out the big guns now and break you two up again. I’m going to make you burgers… with bacon.”

 

“Well, that settles it then. Sorry, X-y. Cas wins. He cooks for me.”

 

“Take that, xbox!” Cas laughed and leaned over to Dean to kiss his forehead. In the last second, Dean tilted his head upwards, so Cas ended up kissing him on the lips.

 

Dean smiled smugly. “Come on, wifey. Make me dinner.”

 

Cas batted his eyelashes. “Of course, honey. Can I bring you a beer while I’m at it?”

 

“Best wife ever.” Dean winked at him.

 

Cas hit Dean’s face with the sofa cushion. “I had a long day. You can get your own beer.”

 

Dean pouted. “I want a divorce.” He moved to stand up and stretched, his t-shirt riding up and exposing his stomach. “Can I get you a beer?”

 

Cas let his gaze linger on Dean’s stomach, nodding absentmindedly. “Yes and maybe you can talk to me, tell me about your day, whatever. Distract me?” 

 

Dean made his way to the kitchen, grabbing a couple of beers as he responded, “My day was literally what you walked in on.” He leaned over the back of the couch and handed Cas his beer. “What's up? Why do you need distraction?”

 

Cas patted the sofa and rested his head on Dean’s lap as soon as his friend sat down again. He pulled his legs closer and buried his face against Dean’s stomach. “Just a shitty day. Lost someone today.”

 

Without hesitation, Dean started carding his hand through Cas’s hair. “What happened?”

 

Cas leaned into Dean’s hand, closing his eyes. “Mmm, not a patient. Our cleaning lady, Mrs. Petterson… you know the nice, old woman who always baked those star shaped cookies with the sprinkles on them? She apparently had a heart attack last night and one of my nurses found her this morning. She always picks her up on her way to work.”

 

“Oh, Jesus. Cas… I’m so sorry.” Dean leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Did she have any family?”

 

“She had a cat. And a grandson, that sometimes visited her. She was a really sweet person.” Cas cuddled himself closer to Dean. He hummed and asked, “Can I stay like this for the next few days and never move?”

 

“Absolutely,” Dean murmured with a soft smile. “I’m your human pillow for as long as you need.”

 

Cas closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Dean, cuddling into his warmth. It was exactly what he needed right now. Someone to come home to. He wished Dean could always stay with him, not just because his apartment was an igloo at the moment. “I sometimes miss when we lived together in our college years.”

 

“Don’t even lie. You threatened to murder me over dishes being left in the sink at least twelve times,” Dean teased with a soft chuckle, hand stroking Cas’s back in gentle and soothing circles.

 

“You once ironed my shirt with beer.” Cas chuckled against Dean’s stomach. “But still… we had a good time, right?”

 

“We always do.” He hummed thoughtfully, a dopey grin on his face.

 

Cas braced himself on his hands to sit up, his face close to Dean's as he got lost in his green eyes. He leaned forward to capture his lips in a soft kiss. When he slowly drew back he couldn't look at Dean, afraid of how much of his true feelings would show. "I should make some dinner. I'm starving."

 

“You relax, maybe take a bath. I’ll make dinner,” he offered before leaning in to kiss Cas again. Dean cupped his face and deepened the kiss, tongue tapping playfully at Cas’s own. When he drew back, he kissed the tip of Cas’s nose and moved to get up. “Burgers, right?”

 

“With bacon,” Cas added softly, feeling like he was falling in love with Dean all over again, as he held onto Dean’s wrist and pulled him back and onto his lap. He slid his hand to the back of Dean’s neck, pulling him closer and into another deep kiss. For some reason, in this moment he felt desperate, he needed Dean close, to feel his weight, his warmth grounding him. 

 

He knew he shouldn’t let this get out of hand, but he couldn’t stop the moan when he licked over Dean’s tongue. His body reacted on its own, pressing into Dean’s to get closer. He wished he could just take Dean into his bed, undress him, kiss every inch of his skin, and show him how much he needed him, how much he loved him.

 

His heart physically hurt with the desperate need as he slowly drew away from Dean’s lips, feeling his hot, quick breath ghosting over his lips, tempting him to just close the distance again. 

 

Dean swiped the pad of his thumb over Cas’s bottom lip, giving him a sweet smile. “Go take a bath, I’ll have dinner waiting for you.”

 

“One more for the road?” Cas asked, because  _ apparently  _ he liked to torture himself.

 

Without hesitation he leaned forward, capturing Cas’s lips in a tender kiss, hand at his chest to hold him back.

 

Cas sighed against Dean's lips, trying to get his emotions under control. He knew he felt clingy because of Mrs. Petterson, but he had to be careful not to blur the lines between them anymore. This wasn't what Dean signed up for. "Sorry, that I'm so…” He shrugged. "A bath sounds like a good idea. Thanks."

 

“Hey,” Dean murmured, caressing the side of Cas’s face as he continued, “I’m here for you, however you need me, but you’re a little emotional right now. If after you’ve had a bath and gotten full on the best damn burger of your life, if you need a scene, I’m down. Okay?”

 

Cas nodded and gave him a lopsided smile. A scene was the last thing he needed right now. He needed something real, not pretend... He felt the frustration gnawing at his heart as rubbed his hand over his face and hair. "Mmh, thanks for the offer, but I don't think that would be the best idea today. I should stick with the bath and food."  

 

Dean nodded. “If you’re sure. Well, you are more than welcome to cuddle with me on the couch after dinner.”

 

Cas gave him a real smile then. “I’d like that.”


	11. King of Wishful Thinking

**Chapter 11**

 

Dean was playing with the pamphlets and whatever other items he could see in the exam room. He’d always marveled at how doctors were  _ always  _ late to see their scheduled patients on time. At least that was one constant. Birds fly. Fish swim. Doctors are always running behind schedule when they see patients.

 

After ten minutes of waiting, Dean started perusing through the cabinets and drawers. All of the good stuff was locked up, but he could steal some band-aids or gauze, just to be spiteful. Just as he was about to pocket some medical tape, the door opened.

 

“Mr. Campbell, I apologize for the wait…”

 

Dean smirked as Cas stopped dead in his tracks. It had taken a lot of finagling and a bribe of a ride in the fire truck for the kid of one of Cas’s front desk girls at his practice to get her to schedule him an appointment under a fake name. But it was worth it in that moment for the look on Cas’s face. “Heya, Doc.”

 

“What are you doing here? And where is Mr. Campbell?” Cas asked slowly as he closed the door.

 

“I’m Mr. Campbell. You see, I’ve got this thing with my lower back…” Dean stated innocently, playing the part of new patient perfectly. Hopefully Cas would catch on.

 

It took a moment, but Dean could actually see it on Cas’s face when it clicked. He raised an eyebrow. “Oh, a thing. You have no idea how common that is nowadays.”

 

“Yeah, so…” Dean hopped up on the exam table, surprised how easy it was for him to not laugh at the pretty good impression of bad gay porn dialogue their exchange was. “It hurts a lot, Doc. I’m hoping you can help?”

 

Cas walked up to him with a serious and thoughtful expression. "Well, that doesn't sound good. First, let me check your vitals before I examine the area that... hurts so much. Please lift your shirt for me."

 

Dean grabbed the hem of his shirt and yanked it up and off. It was a little ridiculous how fucking excited he was to act out this fantasy of Cas’s. 

 

Cas used his stethoscope to listen to his heart rate, biting his lower lip as he gave Dean a long look. His other hand slowly slid over Dean’s arm to his pulse point, as he pressed his index finger against it. With a smile he pulled the stethoscope from his ear. “Your heart rate is quite elevated.” 

 

Playing the part better than he probably should, he feigned a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, I’m, uh… I’m not a fan of doctors.”

 

Cas raised his eyebrows. "Don't worry, I don't bite." He winked at him and added a teasing, "Much." He stood up straight, licking over his lip. "Show me the area where it hurts, please."

 

Dean leaned over, hooking his right leg over his left and pointed to the area above the cleft of his ass. “Here mostly. But it’s like… kinda like more inside than outside. Does that make sense?”

 

Cas nodded thoughtfully. "I need to do an exam."

 

“What, uh… what kind of exam?” If this shit was on camera, Dean was pretty sure he’d deserve a Woody for that performance.

 

Cas laid his hand on his shoulder. "A prostate exam. Don't worry. It won't hurt. I'm going to be very gentle."

 

Dean nodded hesitantly, even though he was already at half-mast with the excitement playing this out was causing him. After the shit week Cas had, he was kind of glad he was able to do this for him. And hell, if it hit one or two of his own kinks, then it was a win-win. He stood up and slowly unbuckled his belt, before finally divesting himself of his jeans and boxers. 

 

He was now standing butt-ass naked, in Cas’s exam room, reenacting a porn-level fantasy. Dean took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, trying to quell the erection that was fast becoming harder by the second.

 

"Turn around," Cas ordered him softly while he went to a drawer to change his gloves and squirted some liquid in his palm from a transparent bottle. "It's easier when you bend over and brace your hands on the exam table.”

 

His hands were trembling slightly as he braced them against the table. It was from the excitement, but it made the whole “role” all that more believable. Dean asked, “Is it gonna hurt?”

 

Cas let his fingers slowly slide down Dean's back. It felt weird with the gloves, but not bad... somehow warm and reassuring. He leaned closer, his mouth near Dean's ear as he whispered, "Not with me doing it. I'm going to go slow and gentle. If you feel uncomfortable, just tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”

 

Dean nodded dumbly, enjoying this way more than he probably should. It was pretty damn risky, dirty, and wicked. He kind of loved it.

 

Cas slowly spread Dean's ass cheeks and rubbed a lubed finger over his hole, before he gently pushed inside. “Take a few deep breaths and try to relax,” he urged in a soft tone.

 

Dean did as instructed, biting his lip to hold in the moan that was threatening to escape.

 

Cas pushed deeper, his movements insistent, pretty much instantly finding his prostate and rubbing over it. Dean could hear him hum thoughtfully as he said, "I can't seem to find your prostate." Cas circled his finger around it. “I need to use a second finger.”

 

Without meaning to, Dean let out a breathy moan as he stammered an undignified, “O–Okay…”

 

Cas slowly pushed in a second finger, again instantly rubbing them over his prostate when they were deep enough. "How are you feeling? Because this could take a few minutes, I still haven't found what I'm looking for."

 

“I’m, uh… I’m good,” he breathed out, doing his best to not arch into the touch. Dean was rock hard at that point, trying to refrain from rubbing against the exam table just to have some sort of friction. When Cas teased around his prostate again, Dean let out a shuddered moan. 

 

"I'm sorry, but I have to use a third finger. Your prostate is very hard to find." Cas had clearly been aiming for an apologetic tone, but he failed miserably. Dean could hear his amusement as he rubbed his fingers over Dean’s prostate again.

 

With an ardent groan, Dean murmured a soft, “Okay, Doc.”

 

When Cas pressed in a third finger, he let them slide in and out gently before he crooked them again to massage his prostate. "I think there’s only one way to help you with the pain you described. I have to give you a deep tissue massage inside of you with something bigger. My three fingers just aren't enough to heal you." 

 

Dean might have laughed at Cas’s terrible line if he wasn’t all kinds of ready for that ‘something bigger’. “What could be bigger than your fingers?” How he managed to ask that with a straight face, he’d never know.

 

Suddenly Cas pulled his fingers out of him and turned him around. “Dean, I’m over the bad porn dialogue.” He lifted Dean onto the exam table and pulled him forward so he was sat on the edge, before he pulled him into a deep kiss. Dean could hear Cas opening his jeans and lining up his cock, using his other hand to pull Dean in the right position to enter him. Cas moaned into his mouth as he slowly pushed inside. "Fuck... Dean," he mumbled against Dean's lips. "This is  _ exactly  _ what I need right now."

 

Dean groaned, grasping the sleeves of Cas’s lab coat for purchase as he fucked into him. “Oh, god, Cas…” The combination of the rush of what they were doing combined with the actual act of sex, was causing Dean’s head to spin. He loved this man more than he had ever loved anyone else and it was almost overwhelming.

 

Cas grinned against his lips. "’Doctor’ is acceptable, no need to call me god." He started to fuck him harder, licking into his mouth, one hand buried in Dean's hair to hold him close. "You feel so good... You have no idea... I thought about you the whole day."

 

“Fuck, baby,” Dean groaned, momentarily freaked out by using the pet name, which was short lived when Cas started to quicken his pace. Cas really needed to fuck his brains out, before his stupid ass mouth said anything else potentially relationship ruining. 

 

Cas moaned and pulled him closer, sucking at his lower lip, before he leaned his forehead against Dean's, breathing heavy. "Dean... so good..."

 

He grabbed Dean's cock and started to stroke it, groaning as he pulled him even closer. "I love... I love your tight ass. Fuck, you make me crazy, Dean," Cas panted against Dean's lips.

 

Ignoring the way his heart leapt at thinking Cas was about to tell him he loved him, only to be disappointed, Dean focused on the intense pleasure that was coursing through him. “Come on, Castiel… fuck me like you mean it,” he begged. Dean wanted his vision to white out, he wanted to be so consumed with pleasure he couldn't speak anymore. 

 

Cas pressed his palm against Dean's chest and pushed him onto his back on the exam table, his hands going to Dean's hips to get more leverage. He could fuck him deeper and harder now, but Dean instantly missed the closeness. Cas panted through his parted lips, looking completely gone as his eyes raked over Dean's body. A trail that he followed with one of his hands before he wrapped his fingers around Dean's cock again. "You're so beautiful..."

 

The sounds of crinkling paper and the furious slapping of skin on skin filled the spaces of the exam room, but Dean only heard Cas call him beautiful. Despite the frantic fucking, this felt so much more romantic than any of the times they'd ‘scened’. 

 

Dean bit his fist to stop himself from telling Cas how much he loved him in that moment. Muffling his moans, when suddenly the heat pooling in his groin tingled through his entire body. Dean arched up as his orgasm was wrenched from him, crying out Cas's name in a staggered moan.

 

Cas followed soon after with a broken gasp before he leaned over, pressing close to pull him into a deep, but tender kiss. He was still panting heavily against him when he pulled back, mumbling, "That was..." Cas shook his head. "Incredible."

 

Dean chuckled. “That’s one way of putting it.” Incredible. Phenomenal. Fucking game changing. Because what they just did… it wasn’t a scene. It wasn’t part of their D/s relationship. He and Cas had just had sex for the first time. And it was amazing, if not a little heart breaking. 

 

He moved to sit up, wiping the sweat from Cas’s brow with the back of his hand. “Got your workout today,” he teased.

 

Cas chuckled, looking away shyly. "Don't move. I’ll get something..." He pulled up his jeans and turned around to grab some paper towels from above the sink, using them to softly clean Dean's stomach and dick, all while giving him shy glances.

 

Dean grabbed his hand and stilled his movement. At the bemused expression, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Cas’s lips. He poured everything he couldn’t say out loud into the kiss, feeling frantic and content all at once. When he finally drew back, he smiled. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

 

Cas cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb over it as he gave him a searching look. "Then don't."

 

_ Fuck.  _ He needed to stop before he said anything damning. Dean decided to change the subject. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

 

"Yes." Cas rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, looking somehow insecure and weirded out.

 

“Cas, you okay? I thought this was one of your fantasies?” All of his own hangups were gone, now he was concerned that maybe he crossed a line.  _ Shit.  _ What if Cas could tell that Dean was being emotional and clingy and…  _ fuck.  _

 

"Um, yes, it was. But, um... Dean..." Cas rubbed his neck again. "What we did...  _ wasn't  _ a scene."

 

“I know. I know… fuck. Are you mad?” Dean felt even more naked than he was in that moment, and considering he was  _ actually  _ naked, it made him feel even smaller. He grabbed his shirt and shrugged it on before moving off of the table to grab his pants.

 

"No... No, why would I be mad? I actually feel like I should apologize for stepping over the line again," Cas explained sheepishly.

 

Dean instantly felt relieved. He let out a soft sigh and chuckled. “No, I mean. Shit, you didn’t even  _ know  _ I’d planned this.”

 

Cas rubbed his hand over his face. “I just don’t want to fuck up this thing between us. I feel like I’m constantly failing you as your Dom, because I keep…” He shook his head, stopping himself. “But we’re good, right? This won’t mess with our friendship?”

 

He pulled Cas into a hug. “No. Never. I’m sorry… I thought this would be a fun surprise and… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fuck with your head.”

 

Cas wrapped his arms around him and Dean could feel him shaking his head against his shoulder. "Dean, you just fulfilled my favorite sexual fantasy and there are no words to describe how awesome that felt." He kissed the side of his face. "If you're good with this, I am, too."

 

“Cas? Sex with you, whatever the circumstances? Yeah. I’m good with it,” Dean answered honestly, hoping it wouldn’t fuck everything up.

 

Cas leaned back and gave Dean a dazzling, happy smile. "Good to know."

 

After giving him a quick kiss, Dean pulled away. “I should probably let you get back to your real patients… God, I hope you don’t do this with them, too,” he joked. 

 

Cas pinched his arm. "You're the first and only person I have ever done this with, and ever will. C'mere." Cas pulled him into another tender and deep kiss before he leaned back to look at him. "Thank you."

 

“Did you just thank me for sex?” Dean asked in an amused and amazed tone.

 

“No. For making my fantasy come true. That was really nice of you.” Cas grinned, feigning a far-off, daydreaming look. “Jerk off material for the rest of my life.”

 

Dean smirked. “Why jerk off, when you have the real deal at your beck and call?”

 

Cas shrugged. “I have to entertain myself when you’re busy saving kittens from trees.”

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head at him. “Get back to work, sinner. Still on for dinner after my twelve tomorrow?”

 

“Of course, baby.” Cas leaned over to kiss his forehead. “I’m counting the hours.”

 

And time seemed to still in that moment. Usually if Cas called him baby, it was in the throes of passion, or in jest for the sake of whomever they were messing with. This felt far more substantial. Far more real. Could it be possible? Could Dean be the exception to Cas's no love rule? 

 

Dean internally chastised himself for jumping to conclusions. He gave Cas a soft smile. “Barring a late call, I'll be off at 1900, so I'll be at your place by eight.” 

 

After another quick kiss goodbye, Dean snuck out of the office, head still reeling. For the first time since they'd started this whole thing, Dean felt something akin to hope.

 

**… :::: :::: ….**

 

"I'm so incredibly stupid," Cas murmured from where he had his face hidden in the crook of his elbow.

 

"A fault confessed is half redressed. What are you stupid about this time, oh, brother mine?" Gabriel asked him in a weird sounding, ritzy voice.

 

"You watch too much Sherlock. You sound like Mycroft, has anyone ever told you that?" Cas asked as he looked up from his arm and took a sip of his coffee.

 

"Yes. I want to annoy Kali so she forgets about her weird plan to spend our vacation in rainy, old England. I wanna go to Hawaii." 

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. "Yeah, good luck with that. I have it on good authority that someone bought her the latest season of Downton Abbey."

 

Gabriel paled visibly. "Who would have done that?"

 

"Um..."

 

"You?! How could you? Betraying your own flesh and blood... You're right! You  _ are  _ stupid." Gabriel shook his head, giving him an utterly disappointed look. 

 

"That was not the reason I said that... I'm desperate... I think I'm losing Dean and I don't know what to do."

 

Gabriel sighed deeply, before he ordered another slice of chocolate cake for himself. "You two, I swear..." he mumbled, shaking his head.

 

"What?"

 

"You are both ridiculous. Like rom-com-level ridiculous!" Gabriel exclaimed holding his arms in the air to underline his frustration.

 

Cas rolled his eyes. "We aren't a couple, no matter how often you say we are. I wish we were, but Dean doesn't want that."

 

Gabriel groaned. "Oh, yeah? Cas you've been pining for that freckled boytoy since you met him. And he's been head over heels for you, too. I can't believe you both are still too blind to see it. Man up, for christ’s sake. Talk to him, confess your feelings. You'll see everything will be fine."

 

"How do you know? He’s my best friend. I think I'd know if he had feelings for me."

 

Gabriel massaged the bridge of his nose. "Cas, you don't even get when someone is hitting on you. Remember the waitress that told you your coat was cool?"

 

Cas rolled his eyes and leaned back against his chair. "That's totally different and not related to my problem."

 

"It so is! Love makes you stupid and blind. And the amount of stupid... I, and all of our friends, have witnessed it every day, with  _ both  _ of you, for years. Dean and you are made for each other." Gabriel leaned forward and grabbed Cas's forearm. "Look, you're my brother and I love you. I just want to see you happy. So listen to me. Make a nice dinner for him, buy some wine, and just fucking  _ tell  _ him."

 

Cas inhaled deeply and chewed on his lower lip. He had felt more hopeful since Dean had staged their last sexual encounter at his practice... Maybe Dean had started to feel something for him, especially since they had now had sex. Maybe he could... 

 

He sighed when he felt fear and doubt creeping back into his heart. The only thing he was really sure about in that moment was that he was in  _ way  _ over his head. But preparing a romantic dinner probably wasn't the worst idea. He could at least scout out where they stood with each other now.

 

**… :::: :::: ….**

 

Dean had started his half shift to help with a sick call three hours ago and he was bored. He hated when he picked up call and nothing was happening. Not that he wished for disaster in the community, but it always sucked giving up a day off when it almost seemed unnecessary.

 

Not to mention, he was feeling a little anxious for his dinner with Cas. He'd kept teetering back and forth on whether or not he should just man up and tell him how he felt. He was terrified, but there was a part of him that felt like he couldn't keep doing this. Playing house in his head if Cas wasn't in it to win it.

 

Benny and Aaron were being totally boring and playing cards, Chuck was cleaning the apparatus, so Dean was stuck in the day room with only his thoughts. Which was proving more and more dangerous by the minute.

 

_ Fuck it.  _ He needed some kind of distraction. Pulling out his cellphone he tried to not think about the fact the first person he wanted to text was Cas.

 

_ Dean: Sweet Jesus I'm so bored please tell me you aren't busy so you can entertain me. _

 

_ Cas: You have the most perfect timing. I was just about to do paperwork. _

 

_ Dean: Oh, thank fuck. Any juicy Balthazar gossip?  _

 

_ Cas: B has a crush on our head nurse, Pamela. _

_ Cas: A serious crush _

_ Cas: On an embarrassing level _

 

_ Dean: SHUT UP. That foxy older lady? The one who hits on me? _

 

_ Cas: The one and only _

_ Cas: You know B's car right? The BMW cabrio? _

 

_ Dean: Oh man that is fucking gold. _

_ Dean: And yeah, why? _

 

_ Cas: Well B drove it into the wall of the underground garage when he wanted to impress her. It was pretty funny. _

 

_ Dean: Lol what a dumbass. What's he more upset over? That he wrecked his precious baby, or that she probably just laughed at him? _

 

_ Cas: She was actually pretty nice to him after it happened so I'm not sure how upset he was. He was very annoyed with me though because I couldn't stop laughing. _

_ Cas: Seriously he can't do two things at the same time when Pamela is around _

 

_ Dean: Lol really Cas? One of your best friends gets in a car accident and you laugh? Best doctor ever. _

_ Dean: Damn that's pretty fucking funny _

_ Dean: I can't wait to give him so much shit _

 

_ Cas: Car accident is not the right word for what happened. _

_ Cas: His car was parked as he got in and talked with her from his cabrio, leaning backwards. He forgot to shift gears and drove forward into the wall instead of backwards and out of the parking lot. I would call that stupidity not an accident _

 

_ Dean: Sweet Jesus I can't stop laughing. Benny and Aaron are looking at me funny _

 

“What's so funny, brother?” Benny asked, an amused expression on his face.

 

Dean wiped the mirth from his eyes. “Just something Cas told me about a mutual friend of ours being a dumbass…”

 

Benny and Aaron exchanged a look, but Dean ignored it to return his attention back to Cas.

 

_ Cas: See? That's why you're perfect. You laugh about this just as I did. Because it IS funny. No matter what B says. _

 

_ Dean: Dude you're right and Balthazar is wrong. But seriously thank you. I needed that laugh. _

 

_ Cas: Bad day? Or just nothing to do? _

 

_ Dean: It's never a bad day when I'm gonna get to see you. Just bored man. I hate picking up call and then getting paid to sit here with a thumb up my ass. _

 

_ Cas: In a few hours you can come home and you get treated to a lovely dinner and nice relaxing evening. _

 

Dean grinned kind of dopily at his phone. Cas would periodically slip and refer to his place as theirs. Dean never corrected him because, well, it aided in his fantasy of playing house.

 

Aaron outright laughed. “Look at his face. I don't even look that happy when I talk to my boyfriend!”

 

Benny joined in on the laughter. “You've got it bad, Winchester. When are you gonna man up and tell that guy you're stupid for him?”

 

Dean stared down at his phone rereading their texts and suddenly it sort of clicked. He looked up at Statler and Waldorf with a sort of wide eyed surprised, which made way for a totally elated smile. “Tonight. I'm gonna tell him tonight.”

 

He ignored their catcalling and focused back on his conversation with Cas, feeling a weird sort of excitement knowing he was going to finally own up to his feelings. Even if Cas didn't reciprocate, he deserved to know and they could deal with whatever the fallout would be.

 

_ Dean: Can't fucking wait cuz there's something I need to talk to you about _

 

_ Cas: I always hate it when people say that. _

 

_ Dean: What? Oh! No it's nothing bad I swear. Well I hope it's not bad _

 

_ Cas: Phew, that's a relief. I kind of wanted to ask you something tonight. But it can wait. And now I'm curious what you want to talk about. Do I get three guesses or a hint? _

 

_ Dean: Lol you can try to guess but you never will _

 

_ Cas: Your real name is Rumpelstiltskin _

 

_ Dean: Damnit! Now I can't take your first born! _

 

_ Cas: Muhuhahahaha (my evil laugh for the evil league of evil) _

 

Dean couldn't help but smile again, ignoring all of the commentary from the peanut gallery. That's when the alarm went off. Well, he got his wish to not be sitting on his ass for the entire shift. He let out a sigh and shot Cas another text.

 

_ Dean: Shit, gotta go rescue kittens. I'll see you tonight okay? _

 

He jumped up and followed Benny and Aaron to grab their turnout gear when he felt his phone vibrate.

 

_ Cas: Looking forward to it, my hero _

 

_ Damn.  _ He really did love the guy. Dean fired off a couple of kissy face emojis and ran to the locker room.

 

Chuck came barreling in. “It's a stretch at an abandoned warehouse near the south side docks.”

 

Benny pumped his fist in the air. “I love when we get to be  _ actual _ firemen!”

 

**… :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas couldn’t stop smiling while he was doing all of the mindless paperwork. Work he usually despised, but now he didn’t mind it. All he could think of was the dinner he had planned. He wondered if Dean would get suspicious if he put candles on the table and some soft jazz music. Was that too cliché? 

 

He rubbed his chin, as he went over the grocery list, things he wanted to buy fresh for the dinner tonight. Was the wine really okay, or should he buy an alternative?

 

Cas shook his head, trying not to obsess about the evening. He was making himself nervous and he needed to stay in control of his emotions. He had to know where this was going between them. Yesterday had been a game changer and it led to him hoping Dean would be open to taking their relationship to a different level.

 

He minimized his software to stare at his desktop. Not his desktop though, but Dean’s green eyes and beautiful freckles. It was incredibly distracting to use a photo of Dean as his desktop wallpaper, but he couldn’t help himself. It was nice to see his face in between work breaks. 

 

Bracing his chin on his palm, he stared at the photo, absentmindedly counting the freckles while he sipped his coffee. When the door suddenly slammed open with Balthazar tumbling in, he quickly maximized the software again to hide the desktop. In his rush to hide it, he knocked over his coffee, causing it to spill over his keyboard and desk. “Fuck, B! Would it hurt to knock?”

 

“Shit! Sorry, Cassie. That bitch nurse who kicked me in the balls saw me in the hallway and I panicked,” he mumbled apologetically as he grabbed a rag he had from his lab coat pocket and tried to mop up the mess.

 

“Oh man, my poor coffee… I needed it so much.” Cas sighed, holding up his keyboard and watching how the coffee dribbled out from between the keys.

 

Balthazar kept mopping up each new droplet from the keyboard. “I’ll buy you another, let’s go down stairs. She saw me duck in here anyway. I’d rather not be somewhere there isn’t an escape hatch.”

 

“Alright, but on one condition.” Cas squinted his eyes at Balthazar, trying to get something out of the situation. “You’re taking half my paperwork with you, so I can leave early.”

 

Balthazar nodded emphatically. “Deal. Why the rush though? Got a hot date?”

 

Cas smiled fondly. “Yes, with Dean. And I’m hoping our relationship will change after tonight.”

 

He was met with an almost forceful smack to his chest, halting any further movement as they had started to exit his office. Balthazar regarded him with a quirked brow and a slack jawed expression. “You’re finally going to bloody tell him you’ve been in love with him for yonks?”

 

Cas shrugged. “I’m not sure if I’m brave enough for that, but I will ask him if he could imagine dating me.”

 

“For fuck’s sake, he already bloody is, you twat.” Balthazar chuckled and flicked Cas’s nose.

 

Cas rolled his eyes. “I have no idea why everyone says that. We’re just friends!”

 

“Yeh, and I loved the movie ‘Titanic’. You’re lying to yourself. You two have been in a relationship since I met you. You’re both just so–”

 

Thankfully Cas was saved by the ringing of his cell phone that interrupted Balthazar’s tirade. Seriously, it was like Gabriel had handed out a memo, so all their friends would tell them the same things over and over. He held up his finger to tell his friend to wait and answered his phone without looking to see who it was. “Dr. Novak speaking.”

 

_ “Cas! It’s Bobby. It’s Dean, he’s, uh… Fuck. He’s been rushed to your hospital’s ER. There was an accident at the fire he responded to…” _


	12. Say a Little Prayer

**Chapter 12**

 

_ “Cas! It’s Bobby. It’s Dean, he’s, uh… Fuck. He’s been rushed to your hospital’s ER. There was an accident at the fire he responded to…” _

 

“Cassie? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Balthazar said as he grasped his shoulder, concern etched into his features.

 

Cas shook him off, shaking his head.  _ No.  _ “What happened? Is he... Is…”

 

_ “I don’t know, son. A rampart fell on him… I don’t know all of the details, they were busy trying to get oxygen in him when they called me…” _

 

“I have to go, Bobby. Um, thanks for calling me.” He had to go to the ER and see if Dean was already being admitted. Cas ended the phone call feeling like he was in some kind of trance. 

 

“Cassie, what’s wrong?”

 

He shook his head again. “Dean… He’s … I have to go to the ER, now!”

 

“Fuck. Alright, come on.” Balthazar sped towards one of the staff elevators, impatiently pressing the down button over and over. When the doors finally opened, he held it open for Cas. 

 

Cas slipped next to him, trying not to think. Trying not to imagine all the things that could have happened to Dean.

 

Balthazar pulled out his hospital call-cell, barking into it, “Cathy! Did you get an admit in the last twenty minutes? Firefighter? Uh, huh… Okay. Thanks.” He looked at Cas, expression grave. “He’s in trauma room two. They just got him in there. She’s not sure what all’s happening.”

 

Cas nodded tersely. Why was the fucking elevator so fucking slow? He scrubbed his hand over his face, a vain attempt of trying to calm down. Patient. Dean was a  _ patient  _ now. He shook his head, it didn’t work. He knew he was too close to Dean and the doctor in the ED would probably just throw him out again because of that. But he had to know. He needed to keep his cool. He needed to be with Dean. For a moment he wondered why B was making this broken, sobbing noise before he realized it came from himself. He used his hand to cover his mouth.  _ Breathe. You don’t know what happened. Breathe. _

 

The elevator stopped, the doors slid open way too slowly and Cas pressed through them the moment he fit through, running down the corridor to the trauma rooms.

 

There were several nurses and staff scrambling about the area, room two specifically.

 

Cas got closer, trying to get into the room as he barked at one of the nurses, “What’s the situation?”

 

Garth, one of the nurse practitioners in the ED grabbed him by the sleeve of his labcoat and pulled him aside. “Dr. Novak! You can’t go in there, they’re intubating him.”

 

Cas shook him off. “Tell me what’s going on!”

 

“You need to calm down,” he chastised in that annoyingly calm tone of his. “If you calm down, I’ll tell you what I can before they take him up to the burn unit.”

 

Cas swallowed dryly, trying to take in a deep breath. “I’m calm, just tell me, please. Is he going to be okay?”

 

Garth placed his hand on Cas’s shoulder in comfort. “I hope so. They found soot in his oral cavity, so they’re intubating him as a precaution. He definitely suffered smoke inhalation, so they’re taking him to the burn unit to do what they can to help stop any CO poisoning. He’s got a fractured wrist, too. Provided the smoke inhalation isn’t too bad, he should be okay…”

 

_ Fuck.  _ Cas knew that if they decided to intubate Dean they must have suspected an injury in his upper airway. He ruffled his hand through his hair. “Do you know his carboxyhemoglobin levels?”

 

Garth was interrupted by a gruff voice asking from behind them, “Cas?”

 

He turned around, seeing Benny, who looked like he had taken a walk through Hell, expression solemn and worried. “Benny,” Cas breathed out, walking up to him. “Can you tell me what happened?”

 

Benny nodded and took a deep breath before he started explaining what happened, “Stupid, son of a bitch. It was an abandoned warehouse. We’d started dousing the flames when we heard a damn cat meowing from inside. Without even thinking about it, he ran inside. Dumbass. We hadn’t even…” He shook his head sadly.

 

“He saved a cat?”

 

“Yeah, at almost the expense of his own life, the moron. He called out from one of the windows and handed the frightened thing to Chuck. We waited for him to come out. And he… he just  _ didn’t.  _ Aaron found him under a damn rampart that had collapsed.” Benny looked so tired, emotionally as well as physically. “He better fucking pull through. If I have to bury one of my best friends over a goddamn cat…”

 

Cas closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about the fact that Dean could die. He still had no idea how bad Dean’s situation was, without seeing any of his labs or getting any answers about his symptoms when he was admitted. The next thirty-six hours would show if he would develop any infections, swelling, or if other chemicals had been in the smoke that would interfere with his body's oxygen use on a cellular level. He wanted to switch to his doctor mode, using statistics and his knowledge to comfort Benny, but the truth was he  _ couldn’t.  _ He couldn’t even comfort himself. “He’s in the best hands here.” 

 

It was just a phrase, one he’d learned to say over and over to comfort loved ones. But he wasn’t feeling the comfort behind his words. His whole world was crumbling and he felt paralyzed. 

 

“Dr. Novak?” Garth asked calmly. “Sorry to interrupt. They’re taking him up to the burn unit. You can see him in about thirty minutes, okay?”

 

Cas just nodded, looking up at Benny. “I’ll keep you posted on his condition as soon as I’m allowed to see him.”

 

Benny nodded. “You're an angel, Cas.”

 

In that moment, their attention was drawn to the nurse’s station by the frantic wail of a woman.

 

“My son!”

 

It was Mary, John and Sam trailing behind her.

 

“Ma’am, calm down…”

 

“His name is Dean Winchester, he… he's…” she barely croaked out before she started to sob. 

 

Cas got up and quickly walked towards Mary, pulling her in for a hug. A hug he needed just as much as Mary, as he clung to her, trying to not fall apart. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t get a word past his lips.

 

“Oh, Cas!” She clung to him like she might collapse if she didn’t.

 

John and Sam came up behind them, sort of pulling the two of them into a group hug. Sam was the first to draw back. “What happened? Is he okay?”

 

Cas shook his head slightly. “I don’t know much. I wasn’t allowed to see him yet. He’s being treated for smoke inhalation and he possibly fractured his wrist. I can see him in about twenty minutes and then I’ll know more.”

 

“Can we come?” John asked.

 

“Probably not all at once. But sure,” Cas murmured, looking away from them as he took in a deep breath. The shock was slowly draining away and he felt like he was barely keeping it together. “I’ll show you the way.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas splashed some water on his face in the bathroom and rubbed his face dry with a paper towel before he braced himself against the sink and glanced up at the mirror. He looked horrible. Not the confident and collected way a doctor  _ should  _ look in a situation like this. But he couldn’t be a doctor in this moment. He was just Cas, and he was terrified he was going to lose the love of his life. 

 

He hadn’t seen Dean yet, letting his parents and Sam go first. He just couldn’t go in before he talked with the doctor treating Dean. He needed to know the facts, because he knew if he saw Dean like that, unconscious, intubated, with so much uncertainty and worry nagging at his mind… He shook his head. He just couldn’t do it. 

 

Another critical look in the mirror, he wondered if someone would notice the redness rimming eyes, he took a deep breath and braced himself. Cas straightened his coat, something that usually gave him a sense of security, and slowly headed back out to the hallway. His gaze fell on Hester and he inhaled deeply as he quickly walked up to her. “You’re treating Dean, right?”

 

“Yes, Castiel. He's your friend, right?” She fixed him with a concerned and sympathetic gaze when she took in his appearance. Which was a little strange. Hester was one of the best respiratory care practitioners in the hospital, so she had the tendency to be kind of a bitch, as Dean would put it.

“More than that,” Cas admitted breathlessly. “Can you please tell me how he is? Was there any swelling or damage to his respiratory tract? How are his carboxyhemoglobin and methemoglobin levels? Have you guys gotten the results of a blood gas yet?” Cas shook his head and took in a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m just…”

 

“It's fine. You're worried. Dr. Hanscum just put in the order to have him extubated, so that's a good sign. She'll probably be by to talk to you all soon.”

 

Cas nodded, feeling slightly relieved by that news. “Can you tell me anything?”

 

Hester nodded. “His arterial blood gas came back and the levels are decent. His pH was 7.35, so within the normal range. Based on that I think he's going to be fine.”

 

Cas exhaled a shuddered breath, bracing his hands against his legs as he closed his eyes for a moment. “Thank you…” He looked up at Hester, feeling incredibly grateful. “Thank you so much.”

 

Hester clapped a gentle hand on his shoulder and departed. In that moment he was interrupted by a quiet, “Cassie?” It was Balthazar.

 

Cas made a weary hand gesture that he was okay, although he felt a little dizzy. He should probably sit down. “He’s going to be okay, B. Dean’s going to be okay.”

 

Mind still reeling with the positive news, he didn’t even process that he had been suddenly enveloped in the taller man’s arms. “Thank fuck for that,” he murmured soothingly, tightening his grip around Cas’s frame.

 

Cas leaned into Balthazar, closing his eyes for a moment. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if…” He shook his head, not able to finish the sentence.

 

“Don’t think about that… He’s strong, he’ll pull through just fine.” Balthazar drew back, taking in Cas’s appearance. “Would you like me to grab you anything from downstairs? Coffee? Something to eat?”

 

“I’m not hungry. I just want to see him now,” Cas murmured before he leaned back.

 

“Come on, then.” Balthazar looped his arm with Cas’s and started dragging him to Dean’s room.

 

“His parents and Sam are still in there,” Cas protested weakly.

 

Balthazar scoffed. “And you’re a bloody medical director. They’re not going to stop you.” As they approached the room, as if to prove his point, the nurse that was exiting Dean’s room held the door open for them.

 

Cas only had eyes for Dean when he stepped towards his bed. His rational mind reminded him that Dean was going to be okay, but seeing him lying there on the hospital bed, unconscious, intubated, and the heart monitor beeping slowly in the background; it felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

 

Sam was suddenly grasping his arm. “Cas, you’re breathing funny.”

 

Mary was at his other side and the two of them gently guided Cas to one of the chairs. Mary’s eyes were red rimmed, clearly having been crying. She knelt down, cupping the side of Cas’s face. “Baby, he’s… he’s still here…”

 

Cas nodded slowly, blinking for a moment before he looked at Mary. “He’s going to be okay.” He needed to hear those words out loud, from his own lips, not only to try and reassure Mary, but also himself. “Has the doctor already talked to you?”

 

Mary shook her head. “No. No one has yet.”

 

Cas tried to collect his thoughts, to calm down his racing heart. “Um, Dr. Hanscum will probably be here soon to talk to us. But I already heard from a colleague that his arterial blood gas was okay and that he should recover from this.”

 

Mary visibly relaxed, John placing a comforting hand on Cas’s shoulder as he said, “Thank Christ.”

 

As though her ears were burning, Donna Hanscum stepped in through the open door of Dean’s private room. Something that was likely done for Cas’s benefit, knowing Dean’s connection to him.

 

“Hiya, you all must be the Winchesters? I’m Dr. Hanscum.” She gave all of them a pleasant smile as she shook each of their hands. When she reached Cas, her expression softened even further. “Dr. Novak. I’m sure you’ve been dyin’ to talk to me.”

 

“You have no idea,” Cas breathed out, but smiled at her softly for the first time since all of this happened.

 

She nodded in understanding. “Well, I’m happy to be bringing ya’ll some good news. Dean’s CO levels are nowhere near as high as we thought they would be considering there was soot in his mouth. So, we’re gonna get that awful tube outta him, put him on some high flow to reduce the half-life of the CO levels in his blood. All his levels and labs came back good, so we’ll probably keep him for observation for thirty six hours and provided, closer to thirty two now… But provided he continues to improve, he should be fine. Might have some asthma like symptoms after, but overall, back to his old self.”

 

Cas exhaled slowly, feeling incredibly relieved. "What about his wrist?"

 

“Oh, that thing is just a little ol’ greenstick fracture. It’ll be healed in six weeks and he should have little to no issue with regaining his strength.” Donna grinned happily. “I  _ am  _ gonna hafta ask ya’ll to leave while we extubate. Maybe grab some food, it shouldn’t take long, but I doubt you wanna see it…”

 

Cas nodded towards the others and gave Donna his hand. “Thanks. I’ll wait in the hallway… just in case.”

 

As everyone was slowly ushered out of the room, Donna pulled Cas aside, halting him. “You okay, Dr. Novak?”

 

He shook his head. “I will be when he’s awake again.”

 

She nodded. “Just so ya’ know, speakin’ from experience, this won’t ever get easier. But ya’ gotta believe he’ll get through it, that he’s every bit the hero you see him as. Don’t ever give up on that. And don’t think about what could happen, because our world needs folk like your partner. Okay?”

 

He gave her a lopsided, short-lived smile and nodded; afraid that if spoke, his voice would break, and he couldn’t afford to lose his cool now. Everything would be fine, but the shock still had a tight grip on his heart.

 

“Now, you wait your butt outside. While I know you can handle watching an extubation, I doubt you wanna see it with your partner. I’ll grab ya’ when he’s hunky dory again, okay?”

 

Cas couldn’t help but genuinely smile this time. Donna was really something. “Thank you.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

The others had left a few hours before to get showers, changes of clothes, some food; but Cas couldn’t go home. Home would just remind him that Dean couldn’t spend his night with him, because he was lying unconscious in a hospital bed; a bed Cas had rested his head on, his hand covering Dean’s, waiting for him to wake up again. He felt tired, drifting in and out of consciousness, before his mind startled him awake again. 

 

This whole situation had reminded him how fucking wayward life could be. And how he needed to tell Dean what he felt. 

 

Cas was half asleep when he felt Dean’s fingers twitch under his palm. He sat up straight in alarm, noticing how Dean slowly blinked open his eyes.

 

“Dean?” he breathed out.

 

Instantly Dean’s lips curled up in a tired smile. “Heya, Sunshine.” His voice was rough and scratchy from the earlier intubation.

 

“Hey.” Cas smiled, feeling like he could finally breathe again. He carded his hands through Dean’s hair. “Don’t try to talk. I bet that hurts. Do you want a glass of water?”

 

“Please,” he answered, despite Cas’s instruction not to.

 

Cas filled some water in a plastic cup from the bottle he purchased earlier from the vending machine. “Feel strong enough to sit up?”

 

Dean nodded and attempted to sit up on his own, he winced when he braced the arm with the cast on it against the bed. “Fuck…”

 

Cas wrapped his arm around him and helped Dean sit up, so he wouldn't put any more weight on his arm. "You fractured your wrist, baby. Don't put pressure on it."

 

“At least it’s my left hand…” He chuckled.

 

Cas shook his head, smiling. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

Dean grinned. “S’why you love me.”

 

Cas took in a deep breath.  _ Well… now or never.  _ “It’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”

 

“Love you, too, Cas,” he murmured as he took a sip of water.

 

Cas bit his lower lip, his heart hammering so hard, it felt like it was attempting to jump out of his chest. “No… I mean… I love you, Dean. I’m in love with you.”

 

That was met with widened eyes and the water he was drinking to dribble down his chin. He stared at Cas for a moment, as though trying to decipher his sincerity. “Well, shit…” Dean groaned, scrubbing his good hand over his face.

 

Cas winced at the sudden stab of pain he felt in his heart. “I mean… I… you don’t have to–”

 

Dean interrupted him with a dismissive wave and kind smile. “No, Cas. I’m totally in love with you, too. It’s just… I didn’t want it to be like this. Me in a goddamn hospital bed.” He smirked at him, looking at him expectantly.

 

Cas blinked. “Huh?”

 

Dean adjusted himself and leaned forward to grab Cas’s hand in his own. “I was hoping that when I finally told you I’m in love with you, I’d be able to go all out. Pull out all the stops, maybe even doves or some shit…”

 

Cas shook his head slowly in disbelief. “You… you’re in love with me?” He must have misunderstood Dean. “Like… romantically in love? Like… um… a real relationship?”

 

Dean chuckled. “What other kind of ‘in love’ is there?” He leaned forward a little more, squeezing Cas’s hand. “Castiel Novak, I’ve been in love with you for a fucking long time. In  _ love  _ love. Romantic love. Whatever you wanna call it. All that shit, I feel it for you. I wanna be with you for real, like how all our friends see us. I know you don’t do relationships, but–”

 

Cas kissed him, just a quick, soft peck so he would stop talking. “I‘ve never been in a relationship because I love you, Dean. I always have. All I wanted was you.”

 

At that, Dean started laughing outright, which then turned into a coughing fit. He shook his head. “God, we  _ are  _ a couple of dumbasses.”

 

Cas groaned as he rubbed over Dean’s back. “Please don’t tell me our friends have been right all along.” 

 

“What’s worse? Your  _ brother’s  _ been right all along.” Dean feigned a frown. After a moment, it morphed into a beaming smile as he scooted over. “Get your ass in this bed with me.”

 

Cas smiled before he started to chuckle. “Alright, but you have some explaining to do, Mister.” He slid in bed next to Dean, wrapping his arm around him to pull him close.

 

“Why do I feel like I’m about to be in the damn dog house before we’ve even gotten the chance to enjoy being official?”

 

“Don’t worry, I think Benny will probably do the ‘chewing out’ part for me.” Cas took in a deep breath, inhaling Dean’s scent that was now mixed with the typical hospital ones. “Fuck, Dean. You scared the hell out of me.”

 

Dean cuddled into him as best he could with all of the damn tubing, IV, and electrodes covering him. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t even thinkin’... I heard this poor kitten mewling frantically and… I’m sorry.”

 

“I can’t even be angry with you because you saved a cat’s life and you know how much I love them…” He leaned over to kiss Dean’s forehead. “And I know you have a dangerous job and all, but… I don’t know. This was really scary.”

 

Pressing a kiss to Cas’s cheek, Dean nodded. “I know… I ain’t gonna find a new job, though. I like what I do.”

 

“I would never ask you to. You are my hero. It’s part of who you are and why I love you. I just don’t want to lose you.”

 

“I’ll try to be less stupid next time. Now that I’ve finally got you, I kinda don’t want to miss out on all the ways I can annoy you for the rest of our lives.”

 

Cas chuckled. “That’s very romantic of you.”

 

Dean practically growled in annoyance. “No,  _ romantic  _ would be getting to confess my love to you on a ferry on the river, a fucking string quartet playing Opposites Attract, or something… Not me lying in a goddamn hospital bed, promisin’ you I’ll try to not get myself killed again.”

 

Cas just smiled, carding his fingers through Dean’s hair. “We have the rest of our lives, full of chances for you to have your cliché, romantic, rom-com moments. Now I’m just happy. You’re alive, you’ll get better. I can take you home in…” He looked at his watch. “Twenty nine hours. And I get to keep you… forever.”

 

“You better not be proposing to me while I have a goddamn IV,” he berated playfully.

 

“Don’t be silly.” Cas chuckled. “I won’t ruin another rom-com moment for you.”

 

Dean grinned. “Best boyfriend ever.”

 

Cas mirrored his grin. He still couldn’t believe they were really together now. Like a real couple. “I still can’t believe it… I’ve wanted this for such a long time.”

 

“I always assumed when you said you didn’t do relationships, you meant with  _ anyone.”  _ Dean sounded sort of awed.

 

Cas shook his head. “No. I just didn’t want to be with someone as long as I was in love with you. And I’ve never stopped loving you since high school.” Cas looked away sheepishly. He hoped that didn’t sound as pathetic as it sounded in his ears. 

 

Dean smiled fondly at him. “I feel like such an idiot…” 

 

Cas rubbed the back of his neck. “I know the feeling… I was always afraid to say something because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

 

“I get it. If telling you how I felt could've made me lose you, I was fine to just keep it to myself and hope you never caught on that I was crazy about you.” Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Guess it worked  _ too  _ well.”

 

Cas shook his head, having a silent discussion with himself about whether this was actually happening, or he had just fallen asleep and was dreaming. “You were very convincing. I’ve never suspected you felt the same… Is that why you did it? Became my sub?” For a moment Cas was afraid that Dean had only been interested in being his sub so they would have sex. “Is it really something you’re interested in?”

 

Dean appeared contemplative for a moment, before he let out a deep exhale. “I've had a thing for you for a long time, I kind of always thought it was physical. Like if I finally had sex with you, my crush would resolve itself. So, yeah, I guess initially that was why I wanted to be your sub. When the crush didn't go away, when it got stronger after we had sex, I realized it was so much more than that…”

 

“But you like what we’re doing, right?” Cas asked, hating how insecure he suddenly felt.

 

Dean’s brow scrunched up in bemusement. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve never  _ once  _ pretended with you when it came to our scenes, Cas. Are…” His eyes widened with an apparent realization. “Are you worried I’m gonna want to stop being Dom and sub because we’re finally not being dumbasses?”

 

Cas shrugged. “Maybe.”  _ More like, one hundred percent exactly. _

 

“Master, may I speak freely?” he asked, an infuriating smirk on his beautiful face.

 

Cas couldn’t help but mirror the smirk. “Of course, pet.”

 

Dean chuckled. “I’m a pretty needy sub. Do you  _ really  _ think I’d want to have boring, vanilla sex ever again?”

 

Both of them were drawn to the awkward clearing of a throat at the door. John Winchester was standing there, looking pretty embarrassed, despite the fact that it was Cas and Dean caught cuddled up in bed together. They were cuddled on a bed, in front of John Winchester, possibly having overheard his son’s sexual inclinations. John couldn’t possibly be more embarrassed than Cas, or Dean for that matter.

 

John shuffled his feet a little awkwardly. “I brought you a change of clothes and some food, Cas…”

 

“Um, thank you.” Cas scrambled out of the bed and took the bag from John. “Dean’s awake,” he said, desperately trying to change the subject.

 

“I, uh… I can see that.”

 

Dean let out an annoyed huff and rolled his eyes at his father. “Dude’s been through enough, Dad. Don’t fuck with him on top of it!”

 

John’s bemused frown instantly disappeared as his lips twitched into a smile. He slapped his hand on Cas’s back and laughed. “I walked in on Dean and Rhonda back when he was seventeen. I know the weird shit my son likes, unfortunately. Alright, I’m going to call Mary and Sam.” He paused for a moment before he approached Dean’s bed. John leaned down and kissed the top of his son’s head. “Don’t you  _ ever  _ be so stupid again, you get me?”

 

Dean smiled and nodded, waving his father goodbye. He turned to look at Cas who tried to distract himself with the contents of the bag.

 

“Cas?”

 

“Yes?” Cas slowly made his way back to Dean’s bed, sitting down on the edge.

 

“You realize we aren’t teenagers anymore, right? He doesn’t give a fuck about what we do in the bedroom.” He chuckled as he said it.

 

Cas smiled. “That’s not it… I kept this part of my life secret for such a long time. Then you find out and now your Dad… Oh, man...” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I hope John still thinks I’m good enough for you.”

 

“I do!” John yelled from the hallway.

 

Cas flinched and turned around to the door – the  _ closed  _ door. He gave Dean an incredulous look, mouthing, “How?”

 

Dean shrugged. “I think he’s part bat, uses sonar or some shit… S’why I got grounded prom weekend, remember? I told Sammy in our locked bathroom about the weed I scored.”

 

“Creepy…” Cas took Dean’s hands in his, intertwining their fingers. “So, where were we?”

 

“You bein’ insecure about us…”

 

Cas sighed deeply. “Because it feels too good to be true. Don’t get me wrong, I’m open to vanilla sex from time to time… like I said, you’re the exception for everything in my life… but the fact that you like being my sub is like christmas, my birthday, and winning the lottery all rolled up in one.”

 

Dean leaned forward, releasing Cas’s hand to grasp his tie. “Merry birthday, here’re your lottery winnings…” Before Cas could respond, Dean yanked him into a kiss.

 

**.... :::: :::: ….**

 

The day he was discharged, Cas was a mix between acting like a doctor and a worried boyfriend. While it was partially endearing, Dean was getting a little frustrated with his constant checking in. When Dean got up from the bed and dressed himself while Cas was outside of the room checking with the staff, he’d walked in and immediately chastised Dean for trying to dress himself.

 

“Goddamnit, Cas! I’m not a fucking invalid. I’ve got a couple of inhalers and a baby fracture. I’m more than capable of dressing myself!”

 

At the way Cas flinched, Dean instantly regretted his tone. Sidling up to Cas, he pulled him into a hug. “Look, I know you’re worried, but I need you to not treat me like a baby, okay?”

 

Cas sighed deeply. “Well, I thought I was going to lose you, so I guess you have to deal with me being an overprotective mother hen for a while.”

 

Dean pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Then expect me to be a snarky asshole in response.”

 

“Would you move in with me?” Cas suddenly asked out of the blue.

 

Dean drew back, a little surprised by the outburst. Honestly, there was no reason  _ not  _ to move in with Cas. They basically lived together already, had lived together in the past, it was kind of a no-brainer. Why was he even hesitating? Maybe it was some stupid societal expectation that you don’t move in together when you’ve only been dating for a few days. But in reality, he and Cas had been dating, hell, probably since high school. “I’ll have to sublet my place… my lease isn’t up for five more months.”

 

Cas chewed on his lower lip, a nervous tick he’d had since forever. “So that means… Yes?”

 

“This is just part of your evil plan to keep me as a sex slave, isn’t it?” he teased.

 

Cas chuckled and shrugged. “Maybe…” He pulled Dean closer and kissed the tip of his nose. “Or maybe I just want to fall asleep and wake up next to you every day, instead of just occasionally.”

 

“Tryin’ to make an honest woman outta me?”

 

Cas gave him a playfully thoughtful look. "Is it weird that I think it's more likely you’d turn into a woman, than an honest man?"

 

“That a dig at me being a bottom?” Dean challenged, his eyebrow quirked and good arm on his hip.

 

Cas pulled Dean closer, nibbling at his earlobe before he growled, “No, just because you look fucking sexy in lacy panties.”

 

Dean playfully shoved Cas away. “You’re a dick.”

 

“So you say.” Cas winked. “Let’s get you home, baby.”

 

“Fuck, yes. If I had to eat one more hospital meal, I was going to revolt. Maybe take people hostage in exchange for chicken nuggets.” He chuckled as he grabbed the few possessions he owned that had been brought to the hospital. When one of the patient care technicians, a kid named Alfie, came into the room with a wheelchair, he groaned outright. “Awww, come on! I have a doctor walking me out.”

 

“Rules are rules, Dean.”

 

He looked at Cas, a pleading and pathetic look. “Do I have to?”

 

Cas slid his palm over Dean's face. "Stop making that face at me and get in the chair."

 

Dean let out an annoyed sigh and dropped down into the damn wheelchair. He turned to look up at Alfie. “How much to get you to run as fast as you can with me in the chair?”

 

Alfie looked at Cas with widened, terrified eyes. 

 

“Do you also want him to make race car noises while he pushes you down the hallway?” Cas asked dryly.

 

“Yeah!” If he was gonna be forced to do this, he wanted to have fun doing it.

 

Cas shrugged. “You heard the man, Alfie. I know you can do it. You did a decent Ferrari impression last week when you pushed little Tony to the exit.”

 

“I fucking love you!” Dean called out to Cas before turning to look up at Alfie. “High-ho, Silver, away!”

 

Alfie shook his head and laughed outright before he pushed Dean through the door to the elevator, very much taking Cas’s instruction seriously as he made racecar noises. It was utterly ridiculous, many people gave him weird looks for it, but  _ fuck all of them. _

 

When they got to the elevator, Dean just happened to glance up when he noticed that Naomi was in it. Cas stepped in and he couldn’t stop himself, after the bullshit she made Cas do to make it up to that sleazy asshole Walker, he looked at Cas and asked, loudly, “Baby, what time is the gang bang again?”

 

Cas bit his lower lip for a moment before he casually checked his watch, keeping a completely straight face. “Seven. Have you decided what you’ll be wearing?”

 

Dean shrugged. “Does it really matter? I mean, whatever I wear, I won’t be for long…”

 

Cas chuckled darkly. “That wasn’t what I meant, Dean. I meant your  _ collar.  _ Black leather or silver metal?”

 

“Oh! I don’t know, are you putting me on a table to be fucked from each end? Will there be choking?” Alfie’s face was a fucking picture and Naomi looked like she might be sick. Dean was loving every fucking minute of it.

 

“Um… Mr. Winchester… I think you were instructed to not do anything strenuous over the next few weeks,” Alfie stuttered, a pleading look shot in Cas’s direction.

 

Cas waved his hand. “Don’t worry. He’ll just be laying there. And no choking this week for you, Dean.”

 

“Well, can I at least be double penetrated?” 

 

Before Cas could respond, Naomi let out an annoyed huff. “Really?  _ Must  _ you discuss this in public?”

 

Dean smirked at her. “What? Got a problem with our less than conventional sex life? Seeing as it’s okay for rich, smug assholes to ask us about it, I just assumed that everyone was interested in it.”

 

“Oh, I see. I guess that means you’re still holding a grudge against my friend.”

 

“No grudge. Just no patience for that kind of ass-kissing bullshit, in which rich assholes can get away with being assholes, just because they’re rich. I’ll be honest, Nay-nay. I pegged you as having more of a fucking spine than letting some rich man bend you over.”

 

“That’s enough, Mr. Winchester! You may not like Mr. Walker, and you’re entitled to that opinion, but you don’t get to tell me how I run things around here. Walker put a lot of money into this hospital, money we needed. If helping the hospital means I have to swallow my pride, I can  _ do  _ that. Dr. Novak understands that, that’s why he apologized… There are fights worth fighting, Mr. Winchester and I’m not saying you aren’t right. But I have to see the bigger picture here. And the bigger picture means money for a new MRI machine, that can help save someone else’s life.”

 

“I guess money talks, huh? And you know what? If getting the equipment you need to run this place means you gotta suck up to pricks who dangle their donations over your head like some sort of ransom, then you've got one hell of a job.” And that was as close as he could bring himself to being even remotely apologetic. She may have had a point, but it didn't mean he had to  _ like  _ it. “And just so you know, it's people like Cas and Alfie here who save people, not the rich assholes funding your equipment and expansions. Don't forget that.”

 

The elevator stopped and Naomi walked passed them. She turned on her heels and gave Dean a cold, falsely pleasant smile. "I know. And I pay Dr. Novak for his good work here, so he can buy you a nice, shiny dog collar. I’ll let that speak for itself." She gave them all another false smile before she turned around and promptly left.

 

Dean chuckled. “Damn. I think I like her…”

 

Cas rolled his eyes. “Why am I not surprised?”

 

“Cause I like you, ergo, I like catty bitches?” Dean gave him a bright and overly friendly smile.

 

"I think you already called dibs on the role of 'catty bitch' when we met the first time," Cas replied thoughtfully before he nodded. "Yes, I'm actually pretty sure. You said dibs on being the 'catty bitch' and that I could be your trusty, loyal, and dashingly handsome sidekick."

 

Dean rolled his eyes and tugged him forward, pulling him onto his lap on the wheelchair. He looked up at Alfie. “Start pushing before he tries to get up.”

 

Good old Alfie, did just as instructed, pushing the two of them toward the main entrance of the hospital, Cas sitting in his lap. Dean grinned at him and held on. “Come on, Robin. Let’s go home.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

“Just take it slow. I know you still have difficulties breathing, so don’t play it off,” Cas chastised Dean with a soft smile when they stood at the bottom of the stairs to his apartment.

 

“Could just carry me,” he teased, smirk firmly in place.

 

Cas raised his eyebrow and before Dean could say anything, or protest, he wrapped his arms around his knees and lifted him up bridal style. “You just want me to carry you over the threshold.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh and smacked his chest playfully. “Put me down, Tarzan.”

 

Cas chuckled. Dean wasn’t exactly easy to carry up the stairs, but he wouldn’t pass up this opportunity for all the money in the world. “No way. I got you.” 

 

“Baby, you live on the fifth floor… I know you’re in shape, but I ain’t exactly a couple bags of groceries.”

 

“And I will probably regret it by the fourth floor, cursing myself for every piece of chocolate I fed you, but you know me. If I set my mind to something, blah, blah. I’ll stop talking now,” he breathed out when he reached the second flight of stairs.

 

Dean started wriggling, trying to get out of his grip. “Cas. I promise. I’ll let you carry me over the damn threshold, but please… Let me walk the rest of the flights.”

 

Cas squinted his eyes at him. “You swear on your sealed, first edition comic of Deadpool?”

 

“You know this isn’t the fifties, right? Carrying me over the threshold doesn’t automatically guarantee that I’ll be in cute little dresses, bringing you your slippers and martinis while I make dinner.” 

 

“It’s not about that.” Cas rolled his eyes. “So you promise, or should I continue to carry your butt up the rest of the floors?”

 

“I promise. And stop complaining about my butt. You love it and you know it.” Dean waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Cas carefully let Dean down on his feet again, smiling at him. “Of course I love your butt. Especially the little freckles on it.”

 

Dean groaned. “Do I really have freckles on my ass, too? Thank fuck I’m not a redhead. I’d be totally unfuckable.”

 

Cas gave him a playful glare. “Don’t you  _ dare  _ speak bad about your freckles. I love them.” He intertwined their fingers and helped Dean up the rest of the stairs slowly, taking short breaks on every floor so Dean could catch his breath. Finally reaching the top, he smirked at Dean. “C’mere, baby,” he said, before he pulled him in for a soft kiss. “I love you.”

 

“I know.” He quirked his brow and smirked. Dean gently grasped Cas’s chin and sighed. “How the fuck did I get so lucky?”

 

“Good things do happen.” Cas shrugged before he lifted Dean into his arms again, laughing happily with him. He hoisted him up a bit higher in his arms to reach for the key in his pocket, Dean wrapping his arms around his shoulders to help him. 

 

The door was torn open before he could fumble the key into the lock and they were met with a wide grin on Gabriel’s face, who stepped back with an expressive hand gesture, yelling, “Surprise!”

 

“Seriously, Gabe? You couldn’t wait for them to come in first?” Sam bitched at Cas’s brother.

 

Gabe smirked. “Fuck, no! Welcome to your: ‘we’re glad you didn’t die’ party!”

 

Dean groaned and looked at Cas. “Were you in on this?”

 

“Duh.” Cas smirked as he carried him over the threshold. “Welcome home, love.”

 

“Okay, seriously. You’re not allowed to use cutesy pet names for each other when you claim to  _ not  _ be dating. It’s downright confusing and we had a vote. So, no more pet names while you’re ‘not dating’,” Gabriel demanded as he grabbed the bag from Cas’s arm and stepped aside for them to come into the apartment.

 

Cas let Dean down again and gave him a questioning look that Dean answered with a quick nod and a soft smile. Cas turned to Gabriel with a grin. “We’re dating.”

 

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Hah, hah. Very funny.”

 

Dean interjected, “He’s serious. We’re official.”

 

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, nice joke, Dean. We’re not stupid. You two just wanna fuck with us.”

 

Cas couldn’t stop himself from bursting into laughter. “I can’t believe it. When we weren’t together, you all insisted we  _ were  _ and now that we are, you don’t believe us.”

 

Eileen pursed her lips, giving them both an incredulous look. “Can you blame us? This is actually the exact thing you two are known for. Messing with people by pretending to be a couple.”

 

Dean shrugged. “Point. But we aren’t fucking with you guys. I’m so fucking in love with this man, it’s kind of gross, actually. Like, white doves, moonlight serenades, flying to Paris level gross.”

 

“And we’re going to move in together. Again,” Cas announced proudly, feeling incredibly happy with Dean’s love declaration.

 

Gabriel eyed them both suspiciously. “I swear to fucking god, if this is a Peter and the Wolf deal…”

 

In that moment, John Winchester came to their aid. Clapping his hand against Gabriel’s shoulder, he smiled. “I can attest that these two dumbasses have finally gotten their shit together.”

 

“Do I want to know why you know that, Dad?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“No, you absolutely do not!” John barked out and laughed. Which, of course, only spurred the rest of the room to start mumbling, giggling, and groaning as they all started spouting their theories as to what it was John had witnessed.

 

Cas shot Dean a mortified look before he shrugged. “Yes, welcome back… I made you a pie.”

 

Gabriel wrapped his arm around Cas. “What my brother meant to say was, his talented  _ brother  _ made the pie. Cas just ordered it.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes. “I ordered a pie for you from Gabriel. Your favorite.”

 

“Marry me,” Dean murmured as he leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek.

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to propose to me with a big, romantic, rom-com gesture?”

 

“You’re so cute… Thinking I was talking to you.” Dean chuckled and pinched Cas’s cheek.

 

Cas squinted his eyes at him. “You were talking to the pie, weren’t you?”

 

Dean grinned. “Maybe. Or maybe I was talking to your brother. He _did_ make the pie.”

 

“The pie then.” Cas nodded and Gabriel hit his shoulder with a pout.

 

“Hey, I’m a catch!”

 

Sam circled his arms around Gabe from behind and nuzzled into his hair, affirming what he said in an incredibly patronizing tone. “Of course you are.”

 

“Hey! Samsquatch! Hands off my husband,” Kali barked, smirk in place.

 

Sam backed off and raised his hands in surrender. “No touching.”

 

Charlie bumped her hip into Cas's and whispered, “I ship it.”

 

“I don’t want to imagine it.” Cas hoped his disgusted look conveyed his true feelings. Gabriel was his brother and he did  _ not  _ want to imagine him having relations with  _ anyone. _

 

Eileen signed something to Dean and he groaned outright, “Don't encourage them!”

 

Cas gave Dean a questioning look. “Did they already invent a ship name?”

 

Dean shook his head. “No, she signed that it wouldn't be gay if it was in a threeway.”

 

Cas shook himself and closed his eyes for a moment. He did not need that image in his head,  _ thank you very much.  _ “Can we  _ please  _ change the subject of our brothers having... sex with each other.”

 

Chuck was the one to come to their rescue. “Actually, I, uh… I have a welcome back gift for you both…” He disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, before coming out, holding a black and white kitten.

 

“Are you serious right now?” Dean asked, his grin lighting up the entire apartment. He approached Chuck and held his hand out for the kitten and practically cooed, “Hi, baby…” Taking her from Chuck, Dean walked up to Cas and looked down at the ball of fur that was cuddled into the crook of Dean’s arm. “This is her.”

 

“The cat you saved?” Cas asked slowly before he reached out and rubbed his finger against the kitten’s cheek. “We can keep her?”

 

Dean looked to Chuck, who merely smiled and nodded. Returning his attention to the kitten, he asked, “What should we name her?”

 

“Claire.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Probably better than my idea of naming her MC Skat Kat.”

 

Cas chuckled. “You would have ended up shortening that name anyway.”

 

“True. Probably would have ended up calling her Kat.”

 

“And that would have sounded very unoriginal.” Cas was still processing that they had a pet now. He loved cats. He’d always wanted one. “Can I hold her?”

 

Dean smiled and gently pried her from his elbow, holding her out to him. “Say hi to your other Daddy, Claire.”

 

Cas couldn’t stop smiling when he felt their little cat locking her paws into his shirt, looking up at him before she yawned and made the most adorable sound. “She’s so cute, Dean.”

 

The way Dean was looking at him was almost breathtaking. Like he was the only person in existence. The love he saw in that look, it warmed the cockles of his heart.

 

Gilda groaned. “You can actually see hearts in their eyes.”

 

Cas just smiled softly at Dean, ignoring their friends for the moment as he leaned over and kissed Dean’s cheek. “Thank you for saving her.”

 

“Well, I couldn’t let you down now, could I?” Dean smiled and wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulder, his casted hand caressing Claire’s back.

 

“We, uh… We took the liberty of getting her to a vet to get checked out, get her vaccinated, and we bought you some stuff for her… Kitten food, toys, a litterbox…” Benny stated as he looped his arm over Chuck’s shoulders.

 

When Aaron came out of the kitchen with a box of stuff, he pulled out a black leather collar. “Even got you a collar.”

 

Sam barked out a laugh. “Oh, man! It looks like yours, Dean!”

 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I’m going to kill him.”

 

Gabriel looked like a kid in a candy shop, as he asked in feigned curiosity. “Your  _ what,  _ Dean?”

 

“Nothing, Gabriel. Sam just made a very, very bad joke. Right, Sam?” Cas gave Sam a pointed look, hoping to convey the silent threat he was thinking. 

 

Sam chuckled nervously. “Yeah, exactly. It was nothing.”

 

Gabriel glanced suspiciously between the two of them. “I’m not buying what you’re selling. Just FYI.”

 

Dean looked contemplative for a moment, before he smiled at Cas. “Don't you think it's time you came out?”

 

Cas gave him a pained look. “I’m pretty sure no one wants to hear what we do in the privacy of our bedroom.”

 

Gilda raised her hand. “Well, I definitely do now.”

 

Cas closed his eyes for a moment. This was so not what he had imagined for Dean’s “welcome back” party. 

 

Dean pressed a kiss to his neck. “If you talk about it, you normalize it.”

 

Cas sighed deeply and gave Dean a long look. “I never signed up for being the ‘scenes’ advocate though.”

 

“So? Don’t you want to be able to not feel like you have to hide?”

 

“I don’t feel like I’m hiding, Dean. I just don’t want to discuss my sex life with my friends. It’s not like I want to hear about their sex lives either.“

 

Out of everyone to speak up, they were all kind of surprised to hear Chuck say, “I like to wear women’s clothes sometimes. That’s my ‘thing’.”

 

Benny grinned and added, “I’m dating a vampire chick, never thought I’d be into blood, but yeah…”

 

“Great.” Cas shrugged before he shook his head. “You can all have fun in sharing your bedroom stories if you want, but leave me the fuck out of it.” He was really pissed now, walking into his kitchen to get away from them. 

 

Dean, of course, followed, turning him around as he asked, “The hell is your problem? Why is this making you so upset? We’re just being open with each other…”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow. “You’re asking me what my problem is? For starters, how about you just respect my boundaries when I tell you I don’t want to go around advertising my sex life? I’m sorry that you have a problem with me wanting my privacy, but in the end, it’s  _ my  _ decision whether I want to share this information or not. You don’t just go out there and out me to my friends.”

 

“Whoa! I didn’t out you. And you’re right, I should respect your boundaries. I just figured it was the perfect moment to be open about our sex life, because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I didn’t realize you felt so much fucking shame over it.” Dean moved to grab Claire from Cas, the kitten was getting agitated at their yelling, and placed her on the ground to wander the apartment.

 

“I don’t.” Cas tried to distract himself by making a coffee. “I’m not ashamed… And yes, you didn’t out me to our friends, but I thought you would take my side...” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I thought you’d notice that I was uncomfortable.”

 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. “I’m always on your side. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I just thought… It doesn’t matter.”

 

Cas leaned into him, before he sighed deeply and turned around, hiding his face against Dean’s throat as he wrapped his arms around him. “It matters to me,” he mumbled against Dean’s skin.

 

“You’re so confident and comfortable as a Dom… I never figured you would be so shy about it, honestly.”

 

Cas sighed against Dean, shaking his head slightly. Dean didn’t get it, but he didn’t know how to explain it to him without exposing him to his issues. And every time he thought about them, it was incredibly hard to get his emotions under control again. And the last thing he wanted was to have a break down at a party with all of their friends. He shook his head again. “I’m neither shy nor ashamed about it, Dean, but I can’t talk to you about this now.”

 

“Okay, baby. Okay. I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” Dean carded his hand through Cas’s hair and kissed him. Gentle. Soft. Comforting. Perfect.

 

When Cas leaned back he scrunched up his nose. “Sorry, I didn’t want to ruin your ‘welcome back’ party.”

 

Dean chuckled. “You didn’t. I mean, you made things awkward as hell, but you didn’t ruin it.”

 

Cas winced. “You think I can hide out in the kitchen?”

 

“Nah, let’s face the music. They’re our friends and family. They love you, just as you are.”

 

Cas made a small protesting noise when Dean pulled him back into the living room. When he spotted Claire on the couch, balancing over the backrest, he scooped her up again and pulled her to his chest. “Hey, baby.” He nuzzled his nose against her head. “Sorry that I yelled.”

 

Dean leaned in to kiss the top of her head, then kissed Cas’s cheek. “So, uh… What’d we miss?”

 

“Well, while you two were gone, we discovered that Chuck’s a transvestite, Benny’s a fucking freak, Gabriel lets Kali fuck him with a strap-on, Sam and Eileen film their sex, Gilda has a thing for feet, Charlie moans video game character names when she comes, I use Grindr more than is healthy; oh, and your parents are in your room, either hiding from all of us freaks, or fucking, I can’t be sure.” Aaron shrugged noncommittally.

“Dude!” Sam cried out, covering his ears.

Gilda punched Aaron’s arm. “You’re a dick! He just left ‘cause he was uncomfortable and this is your reaction? Are you stupid?”

Eileen narrowed her eyes at Aaron and turned to Cas. “We’re sorry. We didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Just ignore Aaron.”

 

Cas pinged the bridge of his nose, trying to quell the beginning of a headache. “Thanks, Eileen.”

 

“Uh, guys… I’m really fucking wiped. I was just discharged… Would you mind if we cut this party short?” Dean asked and he fell even more in love with him in that moment. Dean wasn’t even remotely tired. He was doing it for Cas.

 

Everyone nodded, grabbing their stuff, wishing them ‘goodbyes’ and ‘see you laters’. Despite the awkward turn the party took, at least they could count on their friends and family to not be too weird about everything. When Dean pressed a kiss to Eileen’s cheek and hugged Sammy before shoving them out the door, he turned around with a soft smile. 

 

“You okay?”

 

Instead of answering, he hugged Dean. “There are no words that could describe how much I love you, Dean Winchester.”

 

Dean grinned. “You could try… Come on, let me hear all the reasons you love me.”

 

Cas smirked. “Most of all I love you for your humble acceptance of the knowledge that I love you and you don’t really want me to make you a fucking long list of reasons that would reach to New York after you roll it around the Earth a few times.” 

 

He nodded in acquiescence. “Point. But you know, you could’ve just told me I’m pretty and I would have been satisfied…” He chuckled as he plopped himself down on the couch, patting the open space next to him in invitation.

 

Cas sat next to him, letting Claire climb up his shoulder and hop on the backrest of the couch again, before he leaned against Dean. “You’re the prettiest man in the universe.”

 

“Second prettiest,” Dean countered, giving Cas a pointed look.

 

Cas shook his head. “Ryan Reynolds doesn’t count.”

 

Dean chuckled and nodded. “Yes, he fucking does.”

 

Cas shrugged. “Well, not for me. If I could choose between fucking you or him, I would push him from the bed without hesitation.”

 

“Or, you could tie him up and make him watch.” Dean practically leered.

 

“I like the way you think.” Cas grinned, wrapping his arm around him before he kissed the side of his head.

 

“Then you’d like my boyfriend.” Dean waggled his eyebrows.

 

Cas chuckled and carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. “What do you wanna do with the rest of the day?”

 

“This. Just this,” he murmured as he sprawled out and rested his head in Cas’s lap.

 

Claire used the moment to jump on Dean’s stomach and padded up to his chest, kneading her paws into his shirt. Dean chuckled and scratched her head. “Hey, cutie.”

 

She turned around and hit her tail into Dean’s face before she folded her legs under herself to lay down, immediately starting to purr. Cas leaned his head back against the backrest. “Damn, this is cozy.”

 

“Yeah, she was totally worth my shit lungs and radius fracture,” Dean said that in all seriousness.

 

Cas ruffled Claire’s fur between her ears and nodded slowly. “I think she knows you’re her hero.”

 

Dean laughed. “Nah, she probably knows we’re the ones who will feed her.”

 

Cas shrugged. “Same thing. You’re the hero that can open the can of delicious food.”

 

He smiled up at Cas. “I really do love you.”

 

Cas carded the fingers of his other hand through Dean’s hair, giving him a soft smile. “I love you, too.” It was nice to finally say it out loud and stop pretending. He felt so happy in that moment, he thought his heart might explode. Watching the soft smile that played around Dean’s lips, the way Claire purred on his chest, there was something incredibly calming about it. “I’m sorry about our fight earlier.”

 

“Don’t be sorry. You don’t ever have to be sorry for telling me when I need to stop, okay?”

 

Cas took in a deep breath and nodded. “I just want you to know that I’m not ashamed of the things we’re doing. My wish to keep it to myself has nothing to do with you.”

 

Dean stared up at Cas, expression soft and understanding. “Then what is it?”

 

Cas chewed on his lower lip, looking away for a moment before he steeled himself for an answer he felt he owed Dean for his behavior. “I trust you, Dean. You’re the only one who knows about my past. I don’t want our friends and family to know about what I do, because they would start asking questions. My brother would get concerned and he’d snoop around, asking more and more questions. What happened to me… I don’t want anyone to know about it. I don’t want anyone to look at me as a victim.”

 

Dean mumbled an apology to Claire as he moved to sit up, kneeling next to Cas, cupping both sides of his face in his hands. “Who you want to tell or not is  _ your  _ choice and  _ your  _ right. But don’t ever,  _ ever  _ think, for one second, that what you went through should be considered a dirty secret that reflects poorly on you. You were duped, you were fucking assaulted, and the only one who should feel shame is the fucker who did it to you. You are an amazing, strong, incredible person, Castiel. Don’t let some asshole, who belongs in fucking jail, by the way, take that away from you.”

 

Cas looked away for a moment, his throat burning and he had to swallow a few times, taking in a deep breath before he looked back at Dean. “I know those things, Dean. In my head, I know it. But in my heart… I don’t know if those scars that bastard left on me will ever heal, but as long as I carry them, I hope you can forgive me for not wanting to be open about them.”

 

Dean shook his head. “You don’t need my forgiveness for anything. And I can’t say if those scars will heal, it’s not up to me. But I promise you, I’ll rub whatever salve you need on them, when you need it. You get me?”

 

Cas bit his lip hard when he felt a tear slipping from his eyes. He couldn’t say anything, the words were stuck in his throat. He just nodded, giving Dean a grateful look before he let himself get wrapped in Dean’s arms.

 

That’s when an awkward throat clearing came from the hallway. Cas and Dean both turned to look up. It was Mary and John.

 

Mary bit her bottom lip before saying, “We’re sorry, boys. We hid in your room while they were being far too open with each other and didn’t realize they’d left.”

 

John nodded and both of them approached. John reached out and pulled Cas into a hug. “My boy, you are worth more than you could ever know.”

 

Suddenly they were both wrapped in the arms of Dean’s parents. Cas clasped his hand over his mouth, feeling the shock running through his body with the sudden realization that Dean’s parents knew about him now. His whole body tensed up and he couldn’t breathe. He just wanted to be far away, suddenly feeling panicked.

 

Dean drew back, pulling John and Mary with him. “Whoa, whoa. Mom, Dad, back up. Back up, okay?” He got up and grabbed Claire, bringing her to Cas’s lap. Dean gently touched Cas’s hand, getting his attention. “Baby, can you try to count how many black strands of fur are in each of Claire’s spots? Can you try to do that for me?”

 

Cas nodded, his vision blurry before he blinked the tears away. He nodded again, looking down at Claire, trying to concentrate on her fur, just as Dean had told him. He let his fingers slide through her soft fur as Claire leaned into his hand and started to purr. 

 

“I’m gonna see Mom and Dad out, okay?” Dean asked, tone gentle and soothing.

 

He nodded, feeling strangely numb as his fingers slid through Claire’s fur. He had no idea how long he was staring down at their kitten, before he felt his breathing return to normal again. Cas looked up in confusion. “Dean?”

 

“I’m here,” he murmured, moving to sit next to him on the couch. “I’m here, baby.”

 

Cas took his hand in his. “Can we go to bed? I’m tired.”

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, come on.” He moved to grab Claire. “You too, furball.”

 

“Has she already eaten?” Cas asked worriedly. “We should put some water and food out for her.”

 

“She’ll be fine, Cas. Come on.” Dean held his hand out for him to take.

 

Dean pulled him up as soon as Cas had reached out for him and guided him to their bedroom. “I’m sorry, Dean. I’m…” Cas had no idea what he wanted to say, he just slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

 

“No need to be sorry. Let’s just get into bed, is there still chocolate in the nightstand?”

 

“I think so,” Cas mumbled as he opened his belt buckle. “Why?”

 

Dean moved to the nightstand and made a triumphant noise. “Lay down. My Dom showed me this really neat trick that helps with depressive states.”

 

Cas blinked and looked up at Dean. “Oh,” he mumbled as the realization hit him. He got rid of his pants and laid down on his side of the bed, giving Dean a soft smile. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

 

Crawling into the bed next to him, Dean smiled.  _ “I’m  _ the lucky one. Now stick out your tongue.”

 

Cas couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re still my pet.”

 

“And you’re still my master, but the thing is… in  _ any  _ healthy relationship, even a Dom/sub one, we need to  _ both  _ take care of each other.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas had been staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom for several minutes now, contemplating his own desires and wishes, while Dean was reading a book next to him. It had been weeks since they had moved in together, Dean’s wrist had finally healed and Cas couldn’t be happier with their relationship. He had everything he wanted, but there was something nagging at the back of his mind. Something he wanted to share, but he had no idea how to bring it up, or if it was really something he felt ready to do.

 

Dean let out a groan and tossed the book on the nightstand. “That's about all the terrible writing I can handle.”

 

Cas chuckled. “Then why are you reading it?” He leaned forward slightly to catch the title, but couldn’t quite make it out. “Whatever it is you’re reading.”

 

“Wanted to see what the fuss was about…” he commented as he picked the book up again to show Cas. ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’.

 

Cas quirked his brow. “Seriously?”

 

Dean shrugged. “Hey! Figured since I'm part of the scene now… but honestly? If I'd read this before I messaged you, I wouldn't have even wanted to try it.”

 

Cas intertwined his fingers and stretched his arms over his head. "Why? Is it about an abusive D/s relationship? Or just really badly written porn?"

 

“Both, actually. Like he tricks her into signing a contract that basically gives him complete control over her. And haven't read a  _ single  _ aftercare scene…”

 

Cas gave him a thoughtful look. “Does it  _ at least  _ convey the message that it isn’t a healthy relationship and the girl gets out of it?”

 

Dean shook his head. “No, it pretty much romanticizes an abusive relationship.”

 

“You might feel better if you just throw it out of the window. But I would prefer it if you  _ open  _ the window first… Or use the trash can, because unlike in, ‘silver lining’, I don’t have a backyard. You could hit someone in the head with it.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m rambling, sorry.”

 

Dean grinned at him. “I like when you ramble.”

 

“Yeah? Why is that?” Cas pulled his legs closer, sitting up crossed legged, trying to stretch the muscles in his back.

 

“It’s cute, you’re cute.” Dean said simply, eyes raking over his form appreciatively.

 

Cas gave him a side glance as he clasped his hands in front of his chest. “Are you eyeing me while I do my yoga exercises?”

 

Dean nodded, eyes fixated on Cas’s exposed stomach. “Not my fault you’re sexy as hell…”

 

Even after weeks there were still chants of voices in his mind singing, “Dean thinks I’m sexy,” in a chorus of joy and Cas was just happy Dean didn’t know about that. He smiled at him and tried not to blush.

 

“I kind of love that I can make my Dom blush,” he teased.

 

Obviously he had failed to hide it. Cas bit his lower lip to hide his shy smile before he changed his position on the bed to face Dean. "Dean, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about..."

 

Dean quirked his brow, expression curious. “What’s on your mind?”

 

Cas took in a deep breath, trying to look at Dean, but he couldn't. Instead, he looked at his bare feet, rubbing his hand over his toes to massage them. "Um... there’s something I can’t get out of my mind... something I want to try, but I'm not sure if I'm ready and... I mean..." He took in another deep breath. "I want you... I'd like to try..." He shook his head in frustration.  _ Why was this so hard?  _

 

Without hesitation, Dean leaned over and pulled Cas against him, laying against the headboard, cuddled together. “Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here until…” Dean looked at his watchless wrist. “Well, until you get sick of me, or the robot uprising happens.”

 

Cas chuckled and pulled him closer, kissing the side of his face. "I debated whether or not I should even tell you, but I want you to know what's going on in my head. So if you see me sitting around brooding, you know what it's about... The fact that I have problems spelling it out makes me think I may not be ready for it, but on the other hand... I really want to try." 

 

He closed his eyes for a moment, steeling himself before finally saying, "I want you to fuck me... at least one time... I want to feel you."

 

Dean’s eyebrows shot upwards. “You sure? I mean… I’m totally down to have sex with you in any way, but…” He thought for a moment before a proverbial lightbulb went off in his head. “You know, if it really  _ is  _ something you want, but you’re struggling with it… We could make it a scene. You could command me to do it, that way you’re in complete control with what I do to you?”

 

Cas looked at Dean in stunned silence, before he breathed out and kissed Dean. “You’re brilliant, Dean.”

 

He chuckled in response and straightened an invisible tie. “Not  _ just  _ a pretty face…”

 

“I know.” Cas smiled, touching Dean’s cheek. “You’re perfect.”

 

Dean shook his head. “You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause you’re in love with me, for  _ some  _ fucking reason.”

 

Cas chuckled and pulled Dean down, pressing him into the mattress before he slid over him, diving in for a kiss. “For all the best reasons,” he mumbled against his lips before deepening the kiss.

 

A kiss that was interrupted by an incredibly loud and annoyed sounding mew from Claire, who was on the edge of the bed, staring at them expectantly. Dean laughed. “C’mere, jealous.” He patted his stomach and she padded over to him.

 

Cas let himself fall on his back against the bed and released a deep sigh. “I can’t compete with cute cat noises and fur.”

 

“Awww,  _ you  _ jealous now?” Dean teased before continuing, “Say the word, I’ll boot her out of our room…”

 

Cas chuckled and playfully covered Claire’s ears. “You didn’t hear that, baby. We love you, but Daddy wants to fuck your other Daddy.”

 

“Yup, she’s getting the boot,” Dean murmured as he moved to sit up, cradling her in his arm. He cooed at her, “You’re cute, but not cute enough for me to  _ not  _ get laid.”

 

Cas sat up on the bed, his eyes following Dean’s form to the door, or more precisely, the movement of the muscles in his back and ass. He licked his lips, suddenly feeling too warm in his own skin.

 

Dean gently closed the door and practically ran back to the bed, jumping on it and bouncing slightly as he knelt in front of Cas. “How d’ya want me? Collar? No collar? Should we call up Meg and see if she wants a show?”

 

Cas drew Dean into a soft, but heated kiss before he pulled him on top of him. Giving Dean a determined look as he leaned back. "I just want you," he breathed out.

 

As he straddled Cas’s hips, Dean cupped both sides of his face and explored his mouth, with a deft and assured tongue tapping in a teasing motion against his own. Dean was one hell of a kisser. He drew back, a little breathless. “So, uh… I was actually thinking… You can say no, but… I kinda…” Dean ducked his head, clearly unsure if he should continue.

 

Cas nudged Dean’s chin with his nose. “Tell me.”

 

“I thought it’d be fun if one of these days when we do a scene, we actually invite Meg  _ over  _ to watch live?” He quirked his brow, almost in anticipatory hesitation, as though he was expecting Cas to get pissed.

 

Cas shrugged. “Of course. I can ask her if you want. I bet she would like that.”

 

Dean grinned. “Cool. I wasn't sure what does and doesn't equate to cheating…”

 

“It’s only cheating if you sleep with someone else and don’t tell me about it beforehand.”

 

He fixed him with a calculating gaze for a moment. “So… if we invited her to  _ join?” _

 

Cas raised an eyebrow. “You mean like a threesome?”

 

Dean nodded. “I guess. Or if you set up a scene with me, you, and Inias… I could be down.”

 

That comment went straight to his cock, making his heart stumble at the mental image of Dean on all fours getting pounded by him and Inias. Cas grinned. "I can't speak for Meg, but I know Inias would be up for it. He jumps on any opportunity to team up with me."

 

“Fuck, why is that so hot?” Dean leaned in, grazing his teeth along Cas's pulse point as he murmured, “You pounding my ass, while Inias learns first hand how good I am at deepthroating.” 

 

“You’ve never met Inias, right?” Cas asked after a moment.

 

Dean shook his head. “Nah, you showed me his profile when I asked you who he was, though.”

 

He nodded, remembering again considering the conversation had been ages ago. He cupped Dean’s cheek. “You should be aware that if I team up with him, we will tease you pretty mercilessly. He tends to bring out the worst in me. And you should ask yourself if you can handle seeing him flirt with me, kiss me, or touch me, before you agree to this.”

 

Dean appeared contemplative for a moment, before his smile grew positively feral. “Call him.”

 

Cas chuckled. “Okay.” This was going to be so much fun. 


	13. Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any here: OMG WE DID IT! Our first DCBB fic :D! And man we had soooooo much fun writing it, you have no idea! You may have seen that this will be a series. We’re writing a sequel and a prequel to this story at the moment, because we fell in love with Dean and Cas’s love in this and we couldn’t just not do it.
> 
> Frankie here: EEE! Yes, so if you loved this universe as much as we did, keep your eyes peeled for the upcoming prequel and sequel! The prequel will begin when they met in high school, and the sequel will pick up shortly after where this story ended. OMG. 
> 
> Also, fun fact folks. This fic actually originally started out as a pick me up that Any was writing for me. I was in a funk, not really in the mood to write or do ANYTHING. So, the first couple of scenes she had written and showed me as a way to get me out of my funk. I then begged her if we could write it together, it eventually turned into this monster that we decided we wanted to share with you all as part of our DCBB. 
> 
> Any, I can’t even handle how much I adore you and love you. Seriously. Thank you.
> 
> Any here: You're welcome.
> 
> Any here: Lol, I always wanted to say the douche-y Jared line. But seriously I'm so happy you wrote this with me (She’s totally exaggerating on the begging part, as if I needed convincing, lol). I'm super proud of the story and I love how easy it is to write with you. It's like the stories are writing themselves. I love you and I can't wait for January when we finally meet in real life :)
> 
> Frankie: THAT’S RIGHT DUDES. I’m flying my happy ass to go spend a week with my schwibbel! I am soooooooooooooo fucking excited! Anyway, we really hope you enjoyed this. And HOLY RUSTED SMUT, BATMAN. I think we somehow managed to beat out In a Mirror, Darkly for amount of smut. LOL. Anyway, yes. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Any here: I know a lot of you guys out there like Top!Cas or Dom!Cas and you can totally thank Frankie for infecting me with that idea. I had so much fun writing Cas like that again :)
> 
> Enough blabla, write us and tell us what you think. And please leave our lovely artist a lot of love for her work on this!!!
> 
> Frankie: YES, TELL HER SHE’S AWESOME AND PINCH HER CHEEKS. I mean, hypothetically. Don’t actually try to find her and physically pinch her cheeks. That’s assault.
> 
> Any here: That wasn't awkward at all, Frankie. 
> 
> Frankie: Not even a little bit. :D

**Chapter 13**

 

The next Saturday off Cas had, they’d arranged for Inias to come over. Dean was weirdly excited, a little nervous, but mostly excited. He’d done some interesting things in his sexual past, but being fucked by two Doms was definitely a first. Hell, he’d even had a threesome before, when he was dating Gina and she felt like experimenting. But he knew, without even meeting the guy, this was going to be a whole different experience.

 

He’d spent the morning getting ready. After using an enema, cleaning himself thoroughly, and putting in the biggest buttplug they had, he threw on Cas’s favorite white lace panties, a pair of loose fitting jeans, and a plain white t-shirt. When he came out into the living room, Cas was sitting on the couch, reading his nook and holding a cup of coffee.

 

Dean looked around, noticing that Claire wasn’t anywhere in sight. “Where’s Clairebear?”

 

“She got kidnapped,” Cas murmured absentmindedly.

 

Dean rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. “Which one of our assclown friends took her?”

 

“Your brother.” Cas looked up and shrugged. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop him.”

 

“Damnit! You know he’s going to let Eileen dress her up in stupid clothes!”

 

At least Cas tried to look ashamed of himself. “I think she does that because she _actually_ wants to dress up something else and is trying to send Sam a message.”

 

He shrugged. “I guess I can’t be pissed. One of these days Sam will realize what she’s hinting at.” After a moment, he shuffled his feet, starting to feel a little nervous. “When’s Inias supposed to get here?”

 

Cas grinned. “Are you nervous, pet?” He pointed at Dean’s throat with a questioning eyebrow.

 

Dean nodded. “A little. And I, uh… I figured we should introduce me to him as your boyfriend first, before you introduce me as your sub…”

 

Cas nodded, still grinning. “Sure. Don’t be nervous though. Inias is a cool guy. Very laid back. You’ll like him.”

 

“I know, but… Well, if he doesn’t approve of me…” He kind of hated how insecure he felt. Dean knew Cas loved him, but his scene life, the friends and people he had known for years, on a level Dean was pretty inexperienced at… He couldn’t help but worry if one of Cas’s scene friends thought he was a bad sub, if that might affect their relationship.

 

Cas got up from the couch and wrapped his arms around him, kissing the tip of his nose. “You know why I’m in such a good mood? Not only because this will be great, but also because Inias will envy me so much after he gets to know you and what a beautiful, perfect sub you are. I know him. He’s gonna love you.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Well, too bad for him. I’m taken.”

 

Cas kissed his nose again. “I know.” Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean’s lip and growled, “You’re mine.”

 

He pressed a gentle kiss to Cas’s mouth and smiled. “So, you gonna tell me any part of what’s gonna happen today?”

 

“Why would I spoil the surprise?” Cas teased before he looked at his watch. “And anyway, he should be here any moment.”

 

As though the guy was waiting for Cas to say that, a knock came on the door. Dean let out a deep breath and nodded as Cas stepped away to answer. _Damn._ He was pretty fucking nervous. But a good kind of nervous. Dean flattened out his shirt and moved to lean against the back of the couch. If he sat down, he’d probably groan from the friction of the plug.

 

Cas opened the door and greeted Inias with an enthusiastic hug as he pulled him into the apartment with a big, happy smile on his face. “Good to see you, man. It’s already been too long.”

 

Inias returned his smile. “True. We should really meet up more often.” His gaze wandered over to Dean and he shot him an equally happy smile, his blue eyes bright with excitement.

 

Cas guided him inside, still smiling. “And this is my boyfriend, Dean. Dean meet Inias.”

 

Dean returned their smiles and extended his hand out. “Nice to finally put a face to a profile picture.”

 

Inias grabbed his hand to shake it, his grip stronger than his body type made him appear. He was thinner than Cas, kind of lanky. If the guy had been wearing a pair of glasses, Dean would peg him as a total nerd. His smile was incredibly charming though. “It’s a bad habit that we only take photos of body parts that don’t really tell you a lot about someone’s personality, right? There’s only so much well built abs can say about a person.”

 

“Yeah.” Dean lifted his shirt to reveal his stomach, patting it. “S’why I didn’t bother with them. Too much work.”

 

Inias licked his lips and looked over Dean’s revealed stomach. “Well I like what I see so far. Very much.” He gave Cas a grin. “You didn’t exaggerate, Cas. He’s _very_ attractive.”

 

“I know.” Cas grinned, before his grin turned into a smirk. “Jealous?”

 

“Definitely.” He faced Dean again. “Can’t wait to see more of you.”

 

Dean chuckled and smirked. “You know, I was gonna make a joke about both of you needing to stop objectifying me, but seeing as you’ll be using me as a fuck toy soon… Probably wouldn’t fly.”

 

Cas grabbed Dean’s ass and squeezed it, before he leaned over to whisper into his ear, “You summed that up perfectly. So...” He drew back and trailed his fingers down Dean’s chest. “How about we get this show on the road, save the chit chat for later?”

 

Dean nodded. “Let me grab my collar.”

 

He disappeared into the bedroom, taking a deep breath again as he hovered over the nightstand. The nerves were still there, but now there was this level of excitement over the prospect of what they were about to do. Dean didn’t know what to expect, but whatever happened, he was pretty sure he was going to enjoy it.

 

Grabbing the collar, he slipped it on and debated for a moment if he should strip. Then his sub brain kicked in and he chastised himself for thinking that. Cas hadn’t told him to strip, so he wasn’t going to.

 

When he came back out into the living room, Inias was in Cas’s personal space. He was leaning into him, a hand resting at Cas’s neck, whispering something in his ear. It was weird. He thought he’d be jealous, seeing Cas being intimate with someone else, but he wasn’t. Dean knew, without a doubt, that Cas loved him and him alone. So, instead of feeling jealous, it actually kind of turned him on.

 

Dean got into his standing position, hands behind his back as he looked up and asked, “Master?”

 

Cas looked at him for a moment, a pleased smile on his face. "Strip. Slowly. Show our guest your beautiful body."

 

Without missing a beat, he grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, slowly, carefully pulling it up. It was the full-on stripper way to take off a t-shirt, which he hoped was appreciated by Cas. He casually tossed it to Inias with a smirk. Dean then grasped the button of his jeans, unbuttoning them, before slowly pulling the zipper down.

 

Hooking his thumbs into the side of his jeans, he hesitated for a moment. Dean hoped the choice to put the panties on wouldn’t get him punished. He hadn’t asked beforehand and suddenly the thought of upsetting his Dom worried him. Dean let out a deep breath and slowly pulled his jeans down. It was too late to worry about that now.

 

As he stepped out of his jeans, he returned to his standing position, awaiting his next command.

 

He could hear the sharp intake of breath from Inias as he stepped closer to him, but since he wasn’t allowed to look up at Cas, he still had no idea about his Dom’s reaction. “Damn, Cas. He’s really sexy in these panties.”

 

He could feel Cas getting closer, stepping next to him, his voice low and void of any emotion as he said his next command, "Go into the inspection pose, so my friend can get a good look at you." Dean knew that tone of voice from some of their other scenes, so it was difficult to tell if Cas was actually displeased with him, or just in his Dom mode.

 

Dean complied, carefully dropping to his knees, crossing his ankle over the other as he braced his hands on their carpeted floor. This was both one of his favorite positions, as well as parts of a scene. When he literally was on display and had no idea what was going to come next.

 

He could feel a hand on his back, sliding down to his ass, as strong fingers spread his cheeks and pulled his panties to the side. Inias hummed appreciatively. “Cute freckles." One of them pushed against his plug. "And that looks like a big plug."

 

A strong hand cupped his balls and rubbed over his already hard dick over the fabric of his panties. “I’m really jealous now, Cas.”

 

Cas chuckled. “Good. Come on. I’ll comfort you.”

 

Dean could feel a palm on his back again. “Stand up, toy and go sit down on the chair I put in front of the couch.”

 

“Yes, Master,” he murmured as he pushed himself up. When he was finally standing, he was met with two sets of lust blown pupils. He had to refrain from grinning. Dean moved to the chair, but before sitting he asked, “Would you like me to face the couch or straddle the chair, sir?”

 

“Face the couch.” Cas smiled, playfully shoving Inias down on the couch before he smirked at him and left them both to go to their bedroom. “Be right back.”

 

Dean moved to sit in the chair that was facing the couch, now eye level with Inias. “Master didn't instruct me what to call you?”

 

Inias stood up again and walked over to Dean with a predatory grin. "Today I'm your master too, toy. Because today, we’re sharing you." He pushed his finger between Dean's lips. "Today, you're my toy, too."

 

“I understand, Master,” he murmured as he swirled his tongue around the digit.

 

Inias carded his fingers through Dean's hair. "Damn, you’ve got a slutty mouth. I'm glad Cas found you." He winked at Dean.

 

Dean grinned. “Wait until you see what else I can do with my mouth, Master.”

 

Cas walked into the room in that moment, shaking his head with a grin. "You couldn't wait for one minute?"

 

Inias shrugged. "Can you blame me? There should be a law against those lips."

 

Cas chuckled. "Where’s the fun in that?" Cas wrapped his hands around Dean’s wrists and quickly tied a rope around them as he pulled them behind him, now binding his arms to the backrest of the chair.

 

When he was done, he went around him and straight to Inias, grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him closer. "Hey, you."

 

Inias returned the smile, rubbing his thumb over Cas’s lower lip, before he started to unbutton Cas’s shirt. He leaned over, whispering something in his ear that made Cas smile. Cas’s hands fell to Inias’s belt buckle, opening it slowly. Inias leaned over to kiss Cas deeply. His boyfriend moaned into the kiss, practically devouring each other in front of Dean.

 

At first it was a little shocking, but watching his boyfriend, his Dom, the love of his goddamn life, get so immersed in kissing Inias; he couldn’t help but appreciate the sight. Castiel was fucking beautiful in the throes of passion, and seeing it as a spectator, but knowing that Cas was his? It was a fucking turn on, in a way he never would have imagined. Dean licked his lips as he watched the two of them paw at each other.

 

Both of them seemed to have forgotten him as they continued to undress each other. Inias licked over Cas's chest and nipples, before Cas pushed him over and onto the couch. Bracing his hand on the back of the couch as he leaned over him, Cas started to stroke Inias’s dick with his free hand.

 

Dean was breathing in ragged pants as he watched them. His dick straining against its lace prison. As he slightly adjusted his position on the chair, the plug rubbed against his prostate and he let out an indecent moan.

 

Cas turned on the couch and looked over at Dean, eyes shimmering with unadulterated lust. “I think our fuck toy needs a bit of attention. What do you think, Inias?”

 

Inias hummed against Cas’s shoulder. “In a moment. I want to enjoy the time I have your attention for a little longer.”

 

Cas turned to Inias with a smile. “You just can’t get enough of me.”

 

They kissed again, Cas moved to sit next to Inias and they both began stroking each other. Inias panted against Cas’s lips, “Can you blame me? You’re incredibly sexy, Cas.”

 

Dean suddenly felt a twinge of jealousy. Maybe it was because he felt a little left out. Maybe it was the easiness between Inias and Cas. Dean knew Cas loved him and he loved the guy more than he could even comprehend. Seeing his boyfriend be sexual with someone else wasn’t a problem. But being affectionate? That was sort of _his_ territory.

 

Cas chuckled against Inias’s lips. “You forget that I know you and I know what you want to see.”

 

Inias pulled back, carding his fingers through Cas’s hair. “Want me to start this time?”

 

“Sure. Be my guest,” Cas offered with a grin, before he leaned back against the couch to watch Inias walk up to Dean, untying him from the chair. “Come with me, toy. Time to service your master's beautiful cock.”

 

Dean moved to stand and asked, “Which Master am I servicing first?” Knowing full well that Inias was meaning Cas, but the petulant and slightly jealous part of him wanted to make Cas feel slightly jealous at Dean referring to them both as master, seeing as he belonged to Cas.

 

Inias guided him to the couch with a smile. "Get on your knees in front of Cas and show me what you can do."

 

With a nod, he moved to kneel between Cas’s legs, bracing his hands on his master’s thighs as he smiled up at him. “May I use my hands, or mouth only, sir?”

 

"Just your pretty mouth, toy." Cas carded his fingers lovingly through his hair, before he pushed him down towards his cock.

 

Dean took him in, relaxing his throat as he slid his mouth down the entire length of Cas’s cock. When his lips reached the base, Dean swallowed against the intrusion, eliciting a deep groan from Cas. He gave his Master a moment, waiting to see if he would fuck his mouth, or if he was expecting Dean to use his mouth entirely to work his cock.

 

Inias slid next to Cas on the couch, kissing him and letting his fingers wander over his chest before he twisted said fingers into Dean's hair and pushed him further down Cas's dick. "I can hold him down for you while you fuck his mouth," Inias murmured against Cas's cheek.

 

Cas nodded and Inias stood up from the couch, walking behind Dean and pressing his palm against the back of his head, before Cas started to slowly fuck into Dean's mouth.

 

Concentrating his breathing through his nose, he closed his eyes as Cas began a more brutal pace. The saliva under his trapped tongue began to seep from his lips. Dean was literally drooling over his boyfriend’s cock.

 

Dean could feel Inias's other hand on his hip, pulling him up on his knees to get to his ass. He could hear him opening the cap of the lube before he grabbed the plug, pushing it in and out of him a few times before he slowly pulled it out.

 

At that, Dean let out a strangled moan, that likely caused a nice reverberation against Cas’s dick. At least, the way he moaned made Dean think so.

 

Inias wasn't gentle the way Cas was when he opened him up. He immediately pushed two lubed up fingers into him and fingerfucked him, while he leaned forward and licked and kissed over his ass.

 

It didn’t hurt, the plug had done a decent job of keeping him open, but it was surprising. Cas was never rough with prep. Dean found he was pretty fucking excited at being well and truly manhandled. In that moment, he really looked forward to feeling Inias’s cock and how well he used it.

 

Unable to stop himself, Dean canted his ass, pushing himself further onto those insanely deft and precise fingers. He groaned around Cas’s cock again, his own dick leaking. Dean couldn’t fucking wait for whatever was to come.

 

“Cas, can you handle being the supporter in this? I think our fuck toy will relax better in your arms than mine. Plus, you're stronger than me. Not sure if I can hold him,” Inias conferred with Cas casually while he massaged Dean’s magic spot.

 

“Sure, if you wanna do all the work.” Cas chuckled lowly, soothingly rubbing his thumb over Dean's wrist, while the other hand pushed him down on his cock. “Can't wait to get my cock in his hot, tight hole. Are you almost finished?”

 

Inias hummed and pressed in a third finger, scissoring him open. “Patience, man. You’ve got a big dick.”

 

“You’re such a flirt, Inias.”

 

“Let's ask your little cock slut.” Inias pulled Dean off of Cas’s dick, leaning over him to ask, “Would you say your master has a big cock? And if yes, that you appreciate me preparing you for him thoroughly?”

 

Dean gasped at the sudden movement, a trail of saliva dribbling down his chin. His voice was rough as he answered, “Yes, Master. I do appreciate you preparing me.”

 

“See?” Inias smirked as he pushed his fingers in deeper, finger fucking him a little rougher now. “I bet he can't wait to feel you in his tight hole. Right, toy? Tell us what a cock slut you are.”

 

He groaned as he nodded. “I can't wait, Master. I want to feel your cock. I need it…”

 

“You think you could handle two cocks fucking you?” Cas asked, rubbing his thumb over Dean's lip. “Be honest, pet.”

 

 _Fuck._ While the thought was a little daunting, a part of him was kind of thrilled over the idea. Being used so thoroughly was pretty damn exciting. Inias’s cock wasn't as big as Cas’s, and they'd fucked with a toy alongside his boyfriend’s dick. Dean nodded and almost moaned his answer, “Yes, Master.”

 

“He’s such a good boy.” Inias patted the top of Dean’s head while Cas smeared the precome from his dick over Dean’s lips.

 

Cas sat up against the couch. “Let's move this to my bed. We’ll need the space.”

 

Inias pulled his fingers out of Dean and slapped his ass. “Get up, toy. Time for you to get filled properly. Just like you need it.”

 

Dean braced his hands on the couch and pushed himself to stand, legs a little shaky from a combination of being used and the way he'd been kneeling.

 

Suddenly Cas was at his side, easily lifting him bridal style as he carried Dean to their bedroom. In a rare moment of tenderness during a scene, Dean found himself pressing his face into the crook of Cas’s neck, appreciating the closeness. He whispered, “I love you.”

 

Cas slid his hand tenderly over his cheek, smiling down at him before he kissed his forehead. “Love you, too, baby.”

 

It was kind of amazing and intense when their real feelings for each other would bleed into their scenes. Usually when that happened, their orgasms tended to be all the more earth-shattering. When they reached the bedroom, Cas carefully deposited Dean on the bed.

 

Dean looked up at them, unsure if he should get into the inspection or examination position, so he patiently waited for further instruction.

 

Cas crawled over him and kissed him deeply, before his lips traveled down his body and he slowly started to strip Dean's underwear from him. He pulled Dean closer to the edge of the bed and spread his legs before he started sucking his dick.

 

Inias knelt next to Dean's face, rubbing his cock over Dean's lips. "Open up, toy."

 

With a soft moan from Cas’s ridiculously talented mouth, Dean slotted his mouth open, taking in Inias’s length. He wasn’t as long as Cas, but he was a little thicker. Suddenly, the full length of Inias’s dick was shoved into Dean’s mouth, to the hilt. Good thing he could deepthroat, otherwise he would have choked. Relaxing his throat, he let the man fuck into his mouth.

 

Cas worked his fingers into his ass, all three at once, which was unusually rough for him, but Dean could handle it with all the preparation Inias had done before. The fact that Cas licked and sucked at his cock while he was aiming for his prostate sure didn't hurt either.

 

When Inias gripped his hair, pretty tight, too, he yanked his face into the fucking, prompting Dean to clench his eyes shut. The roughness from both ends was pleasurable, but it was bordering on painful as they continued to try to take Dean apart.

 

Inias pulled out of him suddenly, carding his fingers tenderly through his hair. "You're doing so good, taking us so good. Cas is lucky to have you."

 

The other man slid from the bed and walked over, next to Cas, who reluctantly let go of Dean's cock before he looked up at Inias with a smirk. "Have fun."

 

Cas slowly removed his fingers before Inias lubed up Cas's dick, making a show of it as he stroked him with a smile. When he was done, Cas reached for Dean's hand. "Come here."

 

He pulled him up from the bed and into a passionate, but tender kiss, before he turned around and sat on the edge of bed. He pulled Dean onto his lap, his back pressed against Cas’s chest as his boyfriend lined up his cock and slowly pressed inside of him, letting out a deep moan. Cas lay back on the bed, pulling Dean down with him. His arms wrapped around his body, like a hug from behind. “Concentrate on breathing and relaxing, baby,” he murmured into his ear.

 

As Dean slowly sank further down on Cas’s length, he bracketed his legs around Cas’s over the edge of the bed. He felt insanely exposed, gripping onto his boyfriend’s hips to keep himself steady, grounded.

 

He felt even more exposed when Inias wrapped his hands around his ankles to pull his legs up and apart. "Damn that's a hot sight. Seeing your hole stretched around Cas's cock. Hold your legs like that for a moment, toy."

 

Inias let go of his ankles and lubed up his finger before he started to massage Dean's stretched rim with experienced fingers. It was both too much and not enough at the same time, he took a deep breath, trying to relax into Inias’s touch.

 

Cas moaned into his ear, panting when Inias carefully pushed a finger alongside Cas's cock.

 

Dean let out a deep breath, relaxing around the extra intrusion. He concentrated on the way Cas was almost panting. He kind of wished he could see his face. But it felt nice when Cas nuzzled his face against his cheek, tightening his hold around him, one of his hands tenderly caressing his chest, teasing his nipples. When Inias worked in a second finger, Cas started to rock into him, moaning softly into his ear.

 

Dean groaned outright, feeling impossibly full already. The thought of a second cock sliding into his hole was daunting now, but he really wanted this. He wanted this for Cas, too. Doing the scene with Inias was showing him a side he hadn’t seen before and Dean wanted to give Cas _everything._ “M–Master? May I mo–move?”

 

Inias answered instead of Cas, "The only thing you're allowed to do is lay there, breathe through it, and take it. This is your first time, it's in your best interest if you let me do this uninterrupted." Inias looked up. "You got him, right, Cas?"

 

He could feel Cas wrapping his arms around him tighter. "Yeah," he breathed out, kissing the shell of Dean’s ear. "You tell us if something hurts or if it’s too much," he mumbled before he nibbled on Dean's earlobe.

 

Dean nodded and breathed out, “I understand, Masters.”

 

"Such a good, little cock slut," Inias cooed before he touched Dean's leaking erection and stroked it, carefully stretching him wider with his other hand. "You like your needy, tight hole being filled?"

 

“Yes, Master. I want both of your cocks to fill my hole, please,” he pleaded, almost surprised by the neediness in his voice.

 

"So needy... We’ll fuck your hole, our cocks rubbing together inside of you. And then we'll fill you up, so deep. Your hole will be dripping with so much come."

 

Inias pushed a third finger inside of him, Cas gasped and rocked his dick deeper, the angle perfect for him to strike his prostate with every thrust.

 

Inias hummed. "And you'll take us so good. Because you're just our fuck toy to use. Can't wait to hear your needy moans."

 

Dean groaned out, willing himself to not arch into Cas’s slow fucking, with Inias stretching him wider than he thought possible. “Fuck. Masters, please…”

 

"Please what?" Cas growled into his ear, panting heavily.

 

“Please fill me already!” Dean cried out when Inias got a fourth finger in him.

 

"Inias, would you please give the little whore five hard slaps on his ass for his tone?" Cas growled as he grabbed Dean's wrists in a tight grip and held his arms over his chest.

 

"With pleasure." Inias pulled his fingers out of Dean and wrapped his hand around Dean's ankles to lift him up a bit, before he slapped Dean's right cheek, hard, five times in a row.

 

Dean cried out at the onslaught of pain, Inias was definitely rougher than Cas.

 

"Want to answer your master's question in a more polite tone now, pet?"

 

“Please, Master. May I have both of your cocks?”

 

“There we go.” Inias chuckled before he rubbed lube all over his cock. “And since you asked so nicely, you’ll get your wish now.”

 

Dean hissed as the head of Inias’s cock breached him, slowly, torturously slowly pushing in. He took in a shaky breath, trying to relax, trying to breathe through the burn. It was the only time Inias was sort of gentle with Dean, as he slowly, ever so slowly, pushed in deeper. Fuck, it really burned, a slightly unpleasant pressure. He really hadn’t taken into account Inias’s girth.

 

He still wanted to do this, but suddenly it was too much, a little too fast, despite how slowly Inias was pushing in. “Wa–wait, please…”

 

Inias stopped immediately, one hand cupping Dean's cheek, the other tenderly stroking over Dean's slowly softening erection. "Breathe through it. You're doing really good. I won't push in deeper until you say you're ready. Or if you need me to pull out I will, but I promise you, it’ll feel amazing.”

 

Cas caressed him tenderly, leaving kisses along the side of his face, his voice soothing, "I love you, baby. We've got you. We'll take care of you. Just breathe and try to relax, lean against me. I’ll hold you."

 

Dean took a few more deep breaths, clasping onto Cas’s wrists against his chest, just trying to relax. After a few minutes, both men staying completely still until Dean’s go ahead and he felt weirdly safe. This was an intense moment and to think there were Doms out there that didn’t listen to their subs. It was fucked up, among other things.

 

Finally, having relaxed enough, Dean nodded to Inias. “Okay, Master.”

 

Inias gave him a soft smile and kissed his forehead before he slowly pushed in deeper.

 

Cas moaned under him, Inias started panting and, after a few seconds, Dean knew what the other man had been talking about. The pressure on his prostate felt overwhelming when both of their cocks rubbed over it.

 

“Fuck,” Dean hissed at the onslaught of pleasure that hummed through him, making the pain weirdly satisfying. If it wasn’t for the pain, he probably would have came from the pressure on his prostate alone.

 

Inias stopped for a moment, playing with Dean's balls and erection, teasing the head as he smiled down at Dean. Damn, the guy had a charming smile. “You good?”

 

Dean nodded. “Yes, Master,” he gasped out when Inias swiped his thumb over the slit of his dick. He was overwhelmed with sensation. Pleasure, so much fucking pleasure, muted by the hints of pain. The urge to yank Inias forward into a kiss, to see what Cas was so smiley about, was incredibly intense in that moment.

 

Inias leaned back a bit to exchange a look and a smile with Cas, before he starting to rock into Dean, fucking him in tandem with Cas.

 

Dean was unable to stop the litany of unintelligible murmuring and swear words as his hole was stretched impossibly wide on two cocks. “Fuck… oh, fuck, fuck…” Occasionally being broken by his moans, that grew in volume as his two Doms slowly increased their pace.

 

"Oh, fuck, you two feel incredible," Inias groaned as Cas held onto Dean tighter, fucking into him harder. The position was probably strenuous on him, but Dean knew how strong his boyfriend was.

 

As he breathed through the fucking, he knew he could handle more. “Masters,” he gasped before he begged, “Harder, please…”

 

Inias smiled and picked up the pace of his thrusts. He let go of Dean's cock and pushed two fingers roughly inside Dean's mouth. "Make them wet, little cock whore."

 

One of Dean's legs rested on Inias’s shoulder, while Inias held up the other, pushing them further apart so he could fuck into him deeper.

 

He lavished the fingers in his mouth in saliva, moaning against the digits, giving porn stars a run for their money with the sounds that were escaping. Dean had never been so full, so fucking debauched. And he loved every single moment of it.

 

Inias stared at him with lust blown eyes, panting harshly before he leaned back and grabbed Dean's dick with his spit slick hand, stroking it at the same pace he was fucking into Dean.

 

Dean’s vision whited out as his neglected dick was finally given attention. He bucked up into the strokes, causing both of his Doms to hiss in pleasure at the movement. When he clenched around both of them, they both let out harmonic growls. Dean moaned outright, short nails digging into Cas’s forearm as his gripped onto him for purchase. The onslaught of so much pleasure, Dean wasn’t going to last.

 

"Fuck," Inias groaned and fucked him harder, matching Cas’s quickened pace. "I'm going to fill you up, little slut."

 

“Please, sir. Coat my insides,” he begged.

 

Inias groaned, his fingers tightened around Dean's ankle. "Cas?"

 

"I'm so fucking close," Cas groaned before he gasped. "I swear if you touch my balls one more time..."

 

Inias made a sound that was a mix between a chuckle and a moan, squeezing Dean's cock in just the right way before he slid his hand down to tease Dean's balls.

 

Dean cried out as his orgasm struck, his hips snapping at the sensation, causing his come to hit his own chin. He let out a deep moan, as the waves of pleasure shuddered through him, causing him to clench painfully tight around the two dicks.

 

Inias gasped, slamming deep into him as Cas groaned into Dean's ear and fucked him through his orgasm. He could feel his boyfriend tense up under him, coming with a gasp and his name on his lips.

 

Inias was the first to slowly pull out of him. Dean felt particularly fucked out as warm come dripped from his, likely gaping, hole. Inias carefully set Dean's legs down on the bed, bracing his hands on his knees. "Stay like this for a moment."

 

Dean nodded, he was pretty sure he was incapable of movement anyway, so it wasn’t a difficult request.

 

Inias left the room on wobbly legs and Cas began to pepper him with kisses. "You okay, baby?"

 

Feeling a little dazed at the intensity of the fucking _amazing_ sex he’d just had, he murmured, “Yeah…”

 

"Good," Cas breathed out, sounding relieved as he carefully turned them both on their sides.

 

Inias came back with a wet towel, cleaning Dean's legs tenderly as Cas slowly pulled out of him, too. He winced at the slight burn, his hole feeling incredibly stretched, wrecked, and pretty fucking sore. Dean trembled slightly.

 

Cas pulled Dean over so he could lay on his back, wrapping his arms around him as he continued to pepper his body with kisses. Inias crawled to his other side, pressing kisses to Dean's shoulder. Cas smiled at Dean, carding his fingers through his hair. "You were amazing, baby."

 

Inias nudged his face with his nose and when Dean turned to face him, he was rewarded with a soft kiss. "Such a good fuck toy."

 

Dean smiled, blinking a few times to mentally process everything. “Thank you, sir.”

 

Inias drew him into another kiss, this time with tongue. And _fuck_ the guy could kiss. As Dean drew back his gaze automatically wandered to Cas to see if that had been alright with him. Cas just smiled at him from where he was draped over his body, caressing his side and pressing open mouthed kisses over his stomach and chest.

 

At the seeming approval from his boyfriend, Dean groaned against Inias’s lips, his hand snaking its way to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. No wonder Cas seemed a little dopey after their kiss. He’d always thought he and Cas had kissing down, but kissing Inias made him realize they still had room to improve.

 

When he could feel Cas nibble on his earlobe he turned to him again, instantly being drawn into a deep kiss by his boyfriend.  It was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Being in the middle of two men, caressing and kissing him tenderly, worshipping him with their hands and lips. He felt weirdly secure and warm.

 

In that moment he was falling in love with his boyfriend all over again, and slightly falling in love with Inias. Dean sort of never wanted this intimacy to end. He drew back from Cas and pushed him towards Inias, a content smile on his face.

 

Both men grinned at each other, as if they were sharing a private joke before Cas licked into Inias’s mouth, making the other man groan. They chuckled against each other’s lips before they went back to kissing Dean again, taking their turns, with little breaks when they kissed each other. Dean felt tired and incredibly relaxed, closing his eyes for a moment.

 

He let out a contented sigh. At that point, Dean would probably let them do anything to him, because he was pretty sure he'd pass out anyway. The last thing he felt before his head hit the pillow and dream world came into view, was a soft blanket being wrapped around him.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

"I'm getting old," Cas groaned as he braced himself against the shower tiles, enjoying how Inias massaged and washed his back. "I should hit the gym more regularly."

 

Inias chuckled. “Don’t know how you’d need a gym with a sub like him.” He pressed a kiss to the back of Cas’s neck.

 

Cas hummed, enjoying Inias’s tender touches and kisses. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed teaming up with the guy. "Or especially with a sub like him." He grinned before he turned around, wrapping his arms loosely around Inias's waist. "Thanks for teaming up with me again."

 

“Thanks for asking. I figured with you finally getting what you want, this would end.” Inias hummed contentedly as he pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

 

Cas deepened the kiss for a moment, indulging his own needs, always having felt slightly addicted to Inias's lips. When he drew back he smiled. "As long as Dean’s okay with this..."

 

Inias nodded. “You lucked out, man. Not only is he hot as hell, but he’s a pretty fucking perfect sub, and a boyfriend who lets you continue all of this…” He pointed down at his own body, smirking at Cas.

 

Cas slid his palm down Inias’s chest to his stomach, licking his lips. “I know. What do you say we treat him to some nice food when he’s up again, maybe even a sponge bath?”

 

“He fucking deserves it.” Inias chuckled and swiped the pad of his thumb over Cas’s bottom lip and fixed him with a serious expression. “He lucked out, too.”

 

Cas raised his eyebrow, sounding a bit breathless. “You think?”

 

“Cas,” He breathed out, almost in amazement. “Any person would be lucky to have you love them. Seriously.”

 

Cas rubbed his thumb over Inias’s cheek, giving him a quick, shy smile. "Thank you." He pulled him closer to draw him into another soft kiss. "Man, at some point you have to tell me where you learned to kiss like that. Or even better, teach me."

 

Inias shook his head. “Can’t divulge that secret. Gotta have a reason for you to call me up, don’t I?”

 

“You know that’s not the only reason I call you up, right?” Cas murmured against Inias’s shoulder, letting his hands roam over his body before he kneaded his fingers into Inias’s ass.

 

He let out a deep groan before answering, “I should hope not.” Inias drew back and cupped Cas’s face in both of his hands. “You’re amazing.”

 

“You, too.” Cas gave him a playfully predatory smile. “Turn around.”

 

Inias quirked his brow. “I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with your sub.”

 

Cas nudged his nose against his cheek, letting his hands slide over Inias's ass again. "It’s all part of my evil plan to convert you. Before you know it, I will have your ass and you’ll be begging for it."

 

Inias barked out a laugh. “Not a chance, cupcake.”

 

"You don't know what you're missing, handsome. I could finger you until you come all over my shower wall, crying for my cock." Cas tilted his head, raising his eyebrow. "Still not interested? Alternatively I can offer a backrub if you turn around."

 

Inias groaned outright. “Well, that's just not fair. But alas, I will not let you have my ass, no matter how much you tease me.” He finally complied and turned around. “But I won't say no to a back rub.”

 

Cas chuckled, starting to massage the knots out of his friend's back. He loved the banter between them, always had from the start. If he had never met Dean, he could have imagined himself being with Inias. Although he had no idea how that would have worked out with them both prefering to top. "Damn, you should get a massage more often, my friend. Your back is full of knots."

 

“No one gives massages as good as you, so I just don’t bother…” He let out a soft moan, bending his head forward as he braced his hands against the wall of the shower.

 

Cas kneaded his neck with his palm before he slid his hand over to his shoulder, wrapping his other arm around Inias as he rested his chin on the guy’s other shoulder. He kissed his neck softly, mumbling, “Are you okay?”

 

Inias nodded as he held onto the arm wrapped around his torso. “More than okay.” He craned his neck to look Cas more fully in the face. “So, since you’re not doing the whole gross, societally expected monogamy thing; there’s a party in a few weeks for Doms to bring their subs. Some hoity toity rich guy is hosting, he’s got some huge place on the north side. Roman or something… Do you think you and Dean would be interested?”

 

Cas froze. _Roman._ "Dick Roman?" He asked breathlessly.

 

“I think so. Guy seemed like a Dick.” He chuckled.

 

Cas stumbled backwards and out of the shower, ignoring Inias’s worried calls. He quickly rubbed himself dry with a towel and pulled his t-shirt over his head, yanking up his sweats as he left for the kitchen. He felt a panic attack coming, and hated himself for still being so affected by that asshole. He darted through the living room, his chest feeling constricted, his eyes burning as he bit down on his lower lip.

 

He reached his kitchen, unsure what to do before he just sat down on the cool kitchen floor, drawing his knees to his body, leaning against the cupboard.

 

Inias came barreling into the kitchen shortly after, clad only in a towel around his waist, eyes widened in worry when his eyes landed on Cas. “Fuck.” He knelt down next to Cas, careful to not touch him. “Castiel, how many years have we known each other? What’s the number?”

 

Cas bit his lip as a tear fell from his eyes. "Nine years..."

 

“How many months is that?”

 

“A hundred and eight months.”

 

Inias nodded, now carefully placing his hand comfortingly over Cas’s. “And how many weeks?”

 

Cas looked up at him with a frown. “I have no fucking clue.”

 

Inias barked out a laugh, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You doin’ a little better?”

 

Cas nodded before he shook his head. “I don’t know.”

 

Without any hesitation, Inias slipped to sit next to Cas, pulling him closer, just holding him. He carded his fingers through Cas’s hair and softly started to sing, _“Don’t go changin’, to try and please me, you never let me down before...”_

 

Cas leaned into Inias, pressing his face against his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. He loved when Inias sang Billy Joel to him. He had a nice, soothing singing voice. Cas got immersed in listening to him until he felt like he could breathe again.

 

“Baby?” Dean was standing in the entryway, looking at Inias in confusion. “What happened?”

 

Cas tried to answer him, but the words got stuck in his throat.

 

Inias pressed a kiss to the crown of Cas’s head. “Something I said spurred him into a panic attack.”

 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and his tone got a little dangerous when he asked, “The fuck did you say?”

 

“Dean!” Cas breathed out. “He didn’t do anything wrong. He doesn’t know.”

 

There appeared to be a war waged in Dean’s expression, clearly upset, but not wanting to make Cas’s panic worse. He moved to kneel in front of Cas. “I’m sorry, baby. What did he say? So he knows not to say it again?”

 

“Dick Roman,” Cas gasped, feeling again like he couldn’t breathe.

 

Instantly Dean’s expression went from angry, to incredibly worried. He gently grasped Cas’s hand and held it.

 

Cas felt the way Inias tensed against him as he asked, “What happened, Cas?”

 

He closed his eyes, leaning his head against Inias’s shoulder while he pulled Dean closer. “Remember our conversation nine years ago when we got to know each other and you asked me why I don’t bottom? And I told you I didn’t wanna talk about it? Dick Roman is that reason.”

 

“The fuck did he do?” Inias growled, he could almost _feel_ the anger radiating off of him.

 

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek. “I’m right here. Whether you want to tell him or not, I’m right here.”

 

Cas took in a deep breath, looking at Dean for support as he intertwined their fingers. He hoped he didn’t hurt Dean because he couldn’t stop squeezing his hand. He turned around to face Inias for a moment before he looked down at the floor. He couldn’t look at him and say it. “He… um… we had some sort of relationship in the past and he…” Cas bit his lower lip for a moment, willing himself not to cry again as his heartbeat quickened and his throat constricted. “He…” He shook his head. He couldn’t say it.

 

Dean cupped Cas’s face. “Do you want me to tell Inias?”

 

Cas nodded tersely, holding his hand in front of his eyes as he rubbed his forehead.

 

With a gentle nod, he gently caressed Cas’s face as he turned to look at Inias. “Cas was his sub. He was controlling, abusive… The fucker ignored when he used his safe word.”

 

“What?” Inias’s voice was now the same dangerous growl Dean’s had been earlier.

 

Dean nodded and then looked down at Cas, his lip trembled slightly. Cas let his head fall against Dean’s shoulder. “Sorry I freaked out on you, Inias. The guy really fucked me up.”

 

Inias shook his head, pressing another kiss to the crown of Cas’s head. “And that’s what I’m going to do to him if I ever fucking meet the prick. Don’t you be sorry. I’m… Fuck, Cas. I’m so fucking sorry.”

 

“You better fucking call me for back-up on that shit,” Dean murmured as he tightened his grip around Cas.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

After Dean pulled the blanket over Cas to let him sleep for a bit, with a promise to be back after he cleaned up the kitchen, his heart swelled with love at the soft smile his boyfriend gave him. He pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

 

Inias leaned over from the other side of the bed and pressed a kiss to his other cheek. “I just need to make a couple of phone calls. I’ll be ten minutes at the most.”

 

After Inias left the room, Dean looked down at Cas and asked, “Do you need me to bring you anything?”

 

“A glass of water?” Cas asked softly before he rubbed his forehead. “And a couple Excedrin.” Before Dean could leave, Cas wrapped his fingers around his wrist, looking sheepish. “That was so not what I had planned for tonight.”

 

Dean shook his head and chuckled, feeling an overwhelming wash of affection for this man. “Baby, it’s fine. Inias is happy to be here, we don’t have to adhere to any kind of schedule. And you know I love you no matter what. You’re good, okay?”

 

Cas nodded thoughtfully. “So… do you like him?”

 

He grinned at Cas, unable to stop the chuckle. The fact of the matter was, he did genuinely like the guy. Inias was one hell of a lay, and on that note, one hell of a Dom; but on top of it he cared about Cas and that would always be a win in Dean’s book. “Yeah, baby. I do.”

 

Cas gave him a soft, relieved smile. “Good. That’s good.”

 

Dean leaned down and brushed his lips against Cas’s in a gentle kiss. “Let me get you that water and I’ll be right back. We can clean later, okay?”

 

“Okay… I love you,” Cas mumbled tiredly, his eyes already half closed.

 

“I love you, too. I love you my entire comic book collection.”

 

“I love you to the end of the universe and back, plus Ryan Reynolds,” Cas said with a soft grin.

 

“Damn. You win,” he teased. Dean kissed him one more time and moved to get up. Casting an appreciative look down at his boyfriend before quietly leaving their bedroom. On his way to the kitchen, he noticed Inias was standing out on their balcony. In December. In fucking boxer briefs.

 

Dean shook his head and laughed. He made his way to the patio and moved to slide it open, fully ready to give him all kinds of shit, when he stopped dead in his tracks.

 

Inias’s back was to him, having an angry sounding conversation. “Yeah, yeah. Put Zeke on the fucking phone…”

 

He was about to take his leave, not wanting to eavesdrop, when Inias barked out an irritated sounding,

 

“Zeke! Dick Roman ring any bells? Yeah, yeah. Blacklist him. _Now.”_ Inias let out an aggravated sigh before practically spitting, “Why the fuck else do we usually blacklist people? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Right the fuck now. Get that party canceled. Give his photo to all of security to fucking memorize. He’s not to fucking enter any of the clubs and if he shows up at any of the fucking events, security is within their right to beat the fuck out of him. You get me? Yeah, yeah. Get it done.”

 

Inias exhaled in frustration as he rifled his hand through his hair, cell now dangling at his side. When he turned around he was surprised to find himself face to face with Dean. “Oh, uh… How long have you been there?”

 

Dean stared at him kind of dumbly for a moment, not entirely sure what it was he just witnessed. “Did… Did you just?”

 

He let out an annoyed sigh. “Can’t go after the fucker legally, and since I can’t risk my job by murdering him, the least I can do is cut him off at the fucking nuts and try to make sure he never rapes another person.”

 

Without even realizing what he was doing, he yanked Inias forward and kissed him. Just a brief brushing of lips, but in that moment he knew Inias was as good as part of the family. His fierce protectiveness of Cas was all the proof he needed of that. Dean drew back and smiled at him.

 

Inias chucked his chin. “I’m gonna check on Cas.”

 

Dean nodded. “I’m just grabbing him some Excedrin. I’ll be in shortly.”

 

“Um… Dean wait.” Inias held him back with a hand on his shoulder. “I just wanted to tell you again, that I’m freakin’ happy that Cas finally has you.”

 

 _Damn._ Inias really was a pretty fucking awesome guy. He smiled. “I’m the luckiest fucker on the planet.”

 

Inias nodded, a soft smile on his lips before he looked down. “Yes, you are.”

 

 _Oh._ Dean was a little surprised at himself for not realizing it sooner. He’d seen that expression in his reflection often enough. He clapped his hand on Inias’s shoulder, a comforting and understanding gesture. “How long?”

 

For a moment it looked like Inias was about to deny Dean’s insinuation before he cleared his throat. “Look, Dean... He doesn’t know. And I swear I’m not going to do anything about it.”

 

“Whoa, whoa, man. I’m not accusing you. I’m not trying to mark my territory. I’ve been where you are, you know?”

 

Inias rubbed his hand over his mouth. “Sorry… I just… The only thing important to me is that he’s happy. He’s been in love with you since forever and I couldn’t be happier for the two of you.”

 

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath before giving him an understanding smile. “I get it. I do. He’s fucking easy to love and I’m not mad. I’m not going to tell him to stop being friends with you. Because, like I said. I’ve been there. Having Cas in your life, even if it’s not exactly what you want, it’s worth it.” He turned to look toward the bedroom and let out a wistful sigh. _“He’s_ worth it.”

 

Inias nodded. “Yeah… So, hey, before you know... _this_ stuff happened… We talked about maybe having a repeat scene sometime. But I definitely understand if you don’t want to do that now that you know… If he brings it up again, I can just change the subject.”

 

That was a fuckton of revelations in short amount of time. Finding out that Inias was some sort of BDSM scene Don that can cut people off, was in love with his boyfriend, and then the prospect of doing another scene with him? It was a lot to process. But as Dean regarded the man in front of him, his kindness, his strength. How much Cas cared for him, too? It was a no-brainer.

 

Dean smiled. “Can we spit-roast next time? The DP was fun, but I think that should be a special occasion type of thing…”

 

For a moment Inias was stunned to silence, before his lips curved up in a wide smile and he nodded. “Hell yeah.”

 

Dean chuckled and clapped his hand on Inias’s shoulder, moving towards the kitchen. “Let me get him a painkiller. There’s chocolate in the nightstand drawer, would you mind getting him to eat some?”

 

“On it.” Inias gave him one last smile before he headed towards the bedroom.

 

It had been one hell of a day. And despite some pretty intense emotional upheavals, he’d never felt more content in his life. Cas, the love of his goddamn life, and one of the most amazing humans he’d ever met, was also in love with him. They were living together. They had a cat. One hell of a fucking sex life. Dean had no idea what he’d done in a previous life to have lucked out so hard in this one. Maybe he prevented an apocalypse or something. Whatever it was, Dean really was the luckiest bastard in the universe.

 

After grabbing a couple of Excedrin and a glass of water, he made his way back to the bedroom. He stopped for a moment to admire a framed picture of him and Cas in the hallway. It was from their college years. Dean was being piggybacked by Cas, both of them caught mid-laugh in the picture. He smiled down at it. “I’m going to marry you.”

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

Cas was nervous about their scene. He hated himself for being nervous, constantly repeating in his mind that it was Dean. He trusted Dean. Dean would _never_ hurt him. Plus, Cas would be in complete control.

 

He was mostly nervous about having a panic attack again. He hated those, but Dean had stealthily (not really though because Cas had totally seen through Dean’s clever plan) tried to get him used to having Dean on top. Baby steps, just small things he had casually done, to get Cas comfortable with the thought. Like sitting on top of him during a steamy make out session, or getting behind him in the shower, rubbing his erection over his ass.

 

Dean waited naked for him in their bed, collar around his throat, smiling shyly as he handed him the leash that he had hooked up to his collar. Cas took it with a grateful smile, leaning over to kiss Dean. He felt his confidence coming back, with the familiar secure setting he had as a Dom.

 

“I want you to undress me, pet.”

 

Dean moved to kneel in front of him on the bed, almost at face level with Cas standing in front of him. He smiled sweetly and replied, “Yes, Master.” Carefully, gently, Dean started unbuttoning Cas’s shirt, making it a point to caress his shoulders as he pushed the fabric off.

 

He pressed a soft kiss to Cas’s throat as his hands found their way to his belt, a maddeningly slow pace as he unbuckled it and pulled it through the loops. Dean looked into his eyes as he then pushed his pants and boxers down to his ankles for Cas to step out of.

 

Now Dean’s eye level was at his groin, Dean swiped his tongue over his lips before he asked, “Would you like me to help you step out of them, Master?”

 

Cas nodded, feeling breathless with the view of Dean kneeling in front of him. He had no idea how Dean was able to make him fall in love with him over and over again.

 

He moved to slide off of the bed, now kneeling on the ground, as he gently grasped Cas’s left ankle and pulled his leg out of the pants and underwear, his right ankle was next. Dean stayed in front of him, bottle green eyes looking up at him through dark blonde lashes. “What’s my next command, Master?”

 

Cas carded his fingers through his hair and leaned over to kiss his forehead, before he lay down on the bed, putting some pillows behind his back until he felt comfortable. "Come here, pet." He tapped the mattress next his hip. "I want you to blow me while on all fours, so I can play with your ass while you do it."

 

Without hesitation Dean got back onto the bed and braced his hands on the edge of the mattress as he took Cas’s slowly hardening dick into his mouth.

 

Cas moaned and closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying Dean's lips and talented tongue, before he reached over to caress his ass, rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin. For a moment he thought about ditching his plan, but he knew that he was just being a chicken shit. He needed to do this for himself. He wanted to heal. Years of repressing what happened to him had clearly not worked and he needed to work through this. It was time that asshole lost his power over him.

 

He reached over to grab the lube on his nightstand, turning the purple bottle of Astroglide in his hand for a moment before he held it towards Dean. "Can you open me up while blowing me?"

 

Dean nodded, not once pulling off of his dick. With impressive grace, Dean managed to pull himself up a little, still expertly sucking, and gently taking the bottle. Popping the cap in his left hand, he poured a generous amount onto his right index and middle fingers, using his thumb to warm it up.

 

Cas was impressed with the level of skill Dean demonstrated as he gently grasped his hip with one hand, while slowly and gently he snaked his lubed digits between Cas’s cheeks. And ever so slowly, he teased Cas’s rim, smothering it with the lube.

 

Dean somehow managed to reach for the lube again with his free hand, bringing it to Cas’s ass, his dick now at the back of Dean’s throat as he poured more lube on his fingers. Then, ever so slowly, he slid his index finger past the tight ring of muscle. He kept his finger still, giving Cas time to get used to the intrusion.

 

Cas was surprised with himself. He thought he would start to panic by now, but the feeling of Dean's hot mouth around his cock and the tingly feeling around his rim from Dean's fingers cancelled out any negative thoughts.

 

The key to that was probably because he could _see_ Dean. He could see the love of his life, that he was doing this with him, and that seemed to make Cas feel secure enough to let it happen. Plus Dick had never been gentle with him. He shook his head trying to not think about that man before he gasped and slightly rocked his hips up, silently asking for more.

 

He wanted to do this with Dean. He wanted to connect with him in every way possible.

 

Understanding the silent request, Dean started circling his index finger in him, slowly and gently stretching him. When the second digit wormed its way alongside the index finger, Dean worked his throat over Cas’s cock as he crooked his fingers and tapped his prostate.

 

"Oh, fuck," Cas gasped out and panted, rocking his hips again to chase the sensation. He pulled slightly at Dean's shoulder. “Dean..." His next words came out in a shallow breath, "Kiss me."

 

Dean pulled off of his dick with a satisfyingly wet pop. He slowly slid up, capturing Cas’s lips in a gentle kiss as he tapped his prostate again.

 

Cas gasped again, grabbing Dean's neck to pull him closer and into a deep kiss. "Fuck, baby, that feels so good," he murmured against Dean's lips.

 

When Dean started scissoring his fingers, he slowly sunk the digits in deeper, diving in for another kiss as his free hand caressed his hip.

 

Cas pulled back slightly to look at Dean, breathing heavily. Now with Dean having his fingers so deep inside of him he started to feel nervous. "I love you, Dean."

 

“I love you, too, Cas. You’re amazing.” He snaked his free hand down to start stroking his cock, slowly twisting his fingers to stretch him further. “Can you take a third finger?”

 

Cas moaned with the pleasure Dean was evoking, feeling himself relaxing again with Dean's words and the way he made him feel. Loved and secure. He nodded. "Yes... I want you so much, Dean."

 

Dean smiled and slowly, maddeningly slowly, slipped a third digit in him. He crooked his fingers again, gently circling them to start massaging Cas’s prostate.

 

Cas felt like he was going mad with lust. He had no idea this would feel so overwhelmingly good. It didn't take long before he was writhing with uncontrolled lust. It was like he just couldn't get enough. "Dean... Dean, please."

 

“Yeah, baby. Tell me what you need…” He groaned as he kept up his gentle and persistent tapping at Cas’s magic spot.

 

Cas drew him into another kiss, pulling him on his leash and nearly completely over him. Dean chuckled against his lips as he nearly lost his balance just because Cas was feeling impatient. "I want you. I want you inside me. Please, Dean. Please, fuck me."

 

Dean nodded, a look of pure and utter adoration in his eyes as he smiled down at Cas. Dean slotted himself between Cas’s legs before leaning over to grab the lube. He caressed the inside of Cas’s thigh as he looked at him. “It might hurt less on your stomach, Master. But however you feel comfortable.”

 

Cas shook his head. He knew he wasn't ready for that. "I need to see. I need to know it's you."

 

“Okay, Master.” Dean gave him a reassuring smile and coated his hand with even more lubrication, letting out a soft moan as he stroked himself. Carefully, he leaned over Cas, lining himself up. “Tell me when to move forward, Master.”

 

Cas took in a deep breath, glad Dean had the idea of making this a scene . It felt incredibly reassuring to have complete control over Dean's movements. He gripped Dean's leash and tugged a little, "Come on, pet. Let me feel your beautiful cock."

 

Dean smiled. “Gladly, Master.” He gently pushed the head of his cock against Cas’s entrance. With as much care and gentleness as he prepared him, Dean slowly pushed in. He let out a shaky exhale as he chuckled. “Fuck, you’re so tight…”

 

Cas started to breathe harder, clenching around Dean's cock as he grabbed Dean's arms to cling onto. He tried to relax, but it wasn't easy.

 

As if he could sense his hesitance, his fear, Dean leaned down, capturing Cas’s lips in a chaste kiss. “You’re doing so good, baby. I love you, so fucking much.” Carefully, gently, Dean pushed in a little deeper. He was probably about halfway in.

 

"Stop," Cas breathed out, pressing his palm against Dean's shoulder as he tried to get his breathing under control.

 

Dean immediately stopped, gently carding his hand through Cas’s hair. “Do you need me to pull out, Master?”

 

Cas shook his head. "No, just give me a moment."

 

He hadn't expected this simple gesture to have so much impact on him. The fact that Dean just stopped because he had said so. He drew Dean in for another soft kiss, feeling his weight on him, in him... but it wasn't frightening anymore. It made him feel secure. He nodded against Dean's lips. "I'm ready."

 

Dean hummed and kissed him again as he slowly pushed in, further and further until he bottomed out. He let out a deep breath, keeping still as he panted against Cas’s lips.

 

It felt incredible. Dean was in him, filling him and just the thought of it brought Cas close to the edge of lust induced madness. A mixture between a whine and a moan fell from his lips, as he arched his body against Dean. He licked over Dean's upper lip before he bit down on the lower one, growling, "Fuck me, toy."

 

“Yes, Master,” Dean groaned out as he finally started moving. His thrusts were slow and assured, never breaking eye contact as he'd draw back about halfway, before rocking into him. “Fuck, Cas.”

 

Cas moaned, pulling him into a open mouthed kiss. "Your cock feels so good... in me... Dean... Yes, come on. Fuck me. Harder."

 

Without hesitation now, Dean started fucking into him at a faster pace, a little harder. His groans were delicious and knowing those grunts were because of him, because Dean was inside him, made it all the more amazing.

 

Suddenly Dean stopped, taking a breath and sitting back a little. “Master, may I adjust your hips?”

 

Cas wondered if he looked as dazed and flushed as he felt, nodding breathlessly. "Yes, of course. Just don't stop."

 

Dean smiled and lifted Cas’s hips a little higher, then set his brutal pace, when his cock was fully sheathed in him, it struck his prostate. Then with every thrust, Dean was hitting that bundle of nerves, his pace relentless as he groaned with each strike.

 

"Oh fuck, fuck," Cas gasped out, grabbing Dean's arms to hold onto him. He was sure that more words fell from his mouth over the onslaught of maddening pleasure, but they probably only consisted of him crying out Dean's name, pledging his love to him. He was sure he had died and went straight to Heaven, because this was too... _everything._

 

Dean wasn't even touching his cock and he felt on the verge of coming all over himself. Without asking, Dean grasped Cas’s cock, starting to stroke him in time with his thrusts, murmuring, “I fucking love you…”

 

Cas looked up at Dean, lips parted from the way he was moaning. "Dean..." he gasped out, voice breaking because he couldn't hold back any longer. Cas came all over Dean's hand, coating his own stomach and chest.

 

Dean’s thrusts became stuttered and broken as he shuddered, he was close. He leaned down, licking into Cas’s mouth as he moaned into their kiss, his hips stilling as he finally followed Cas down the rabbit hole of pleasure. His breathing was heavy as he braced himself a little over Cas, their foreheads pressed together. He managed a broken chuckle as he breathed, “Fuck, baby. That was amazing.”

 

"Uhum," Cas breathed out, before he smiled up at Dean. He did it. Dean had fucked him and it had felt amazing. He laughed. "Fucking incredible. I love you so much, baby. You're amazing."

 

That was met with a beaming smile. “No, Cas. _You’re_ the amazing one here.” Dean carefully shifted, pulling out of him, before collapsing alongside him. He half draped himself over Cas, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “How are you feeling?”

 

Cas exhaled deeply, trying to get his heartbeat and breathing to a normal rate. "Um... happy, incredible... like I could pull out trees, but also like I could sleep for a week." He chuckled before he added more quietly, "Relieved."

 

“I’m so fucking glad,” he murmured against Cas’s cheek. “Was it easier, making it a scene?”

 

"Yes, that was a brilliant idea... But if you ever want to have a repeat... I think it won't be necessary to make it a scene. I trust you, completely. I'm not afraid anymore." It felt incredible to say that out loud, like a weight had finally been lifted from his chest. For such a long time he believed he was broken, and now Dean had fixed him. Just like that.

 

Dean grinned. “You liked it that much?”

 

Cas grinned and looked away for a moment. "I had no idea it would feel so good."

 

“Get why I’m a bottom now, huh?” Dean chuckled, pulling Cas closer to him, pressing a flurry of light kisses over his face.

 

"Yeah, but don't get used to it. I'm still your Dom and you're still my sextoy. And next time I'll show you how fucking grateful I am that you just fucked my brains out."

 

Dean waggled his eyebrows. “That right? How will you reward me, Master?”

 

Cas teasingly rubbed his thumb over Dean's lower lip and smiled. "That's for me to know and you to find out."

 

“Not even a _little_ hint?” He feigned a pout.

 

He pulled Dean closer by his leash, so he landed on Cas’s chest. Cas leaned forward to whisper into his ear, “I’ve made some arrangements with two people you know.”

 

Dean grinned, his tone hopeful as he asked, “Meg and Inias?”

 

Cas just waggled his eyebrows at him, hoping that was answer enough.

 

“Best. Dom. Ever.” He practically lit up as he pressed another kiss to Cas’s cheek.

 

**…. :::: :::: ….**

 

"You're a horrible person, Dean. A _horrible_ boyfriend for not telling me where you’re dragging me. You know how curious I am and I'm dying inside." Cas scrunched up his nose against the blindfold, which was itching a bit. But the last time he tried to scratch his nose, Dean had slapped his hand away, telling him not to peek.

 

They were in the Impala and had been probably driving for twenty minutes as Cas tried - unsuccessfully - to guess where they were going. "We’re going to buy a helicopter and fly to remote location to have a date where we just eat ice cream?" he tried guessing again. At some point Dean would _have_ to yield.

 

Dean barked out a laugh. “Your guesses are getting more and more ridiculous. You’re worse than a kid at Christmas.”

 

"You’ve finally started to love Billy Joel and decided to go with me to a concert! No wait! You found an artist that’s going to paint a ridiculously huge portrait of us and Clairebear for our living room, but it's so huge you have to show it to me in a park! That’s it! Right?"

 

“Baby, I love you, but I will _never_ go to a Billy Joel concert. And stop guessing, you’re going to be seriously disappointed when I haven’t flown in Joel to sing a serenade to Clairebear.”

 

“Damn.” For a moment Cas pouted quietly, trying to stop fidgeting in his seat. “You found an extraterrestrial spacecraft with aliens that all look like Ryan Reynolds.” It was his last guess on the list, after that he was out of options. He needed a different tactic. “Do I get a hint, at least?”

 

In that moment he felt Dean grasp his hand. “Cas, if I found a planet of Ryan Reynolds’s, I would have fucked off to move to the planet. And nope. No hint.”

 

“You would leave me behind instead of sharing?” Cas feigned a hurt tone.

 

He felt Dean press a kiss to his hand. “Nah, I’d share. Love you too much not to. And now I know I can handle DP, the thought of getting fucked by two Ryans…” Dean made some sort of humming sound of pleasure.

 

“Oh, fuck, Dean,” Cas complained. “Don’t start! You’ll just make me horny. And I still don’t know where we’re going.”

 

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, you’re gonna want to save that for tonight. Try to not have a hard-on when we get to where we’re going.”

 

“Ominous. Okay… then don’t talk about sex. Because I thought of you all day yesterday, and I barely got to see you. Which means I’m highly susceptible to kinky fantasies right now.”

 

“Then I probably shouldn’t tell you about the new underwear I bought?” He could hear the leer in his boyfriend’s voice.

 

Cas adjusted himself as best as he could as Dean’s words went straight to his dick. “Subject change. I vote for a subject change:”

 

“Okay, baby. But only because I don’t want you to feel weird going where we’re going with your pants tented. How’s Inias?”

 

“Seriously? That’s your subject change?” Cas sighed deeply, wriggling in his seat. “Um, he’s good.”

 

“Awww, thinking of Inias gets you hard, too?” He chuckled and then Cas felt his cheek being pinched.

 

“Ouch,” he whined. Cas tried to pinch back, but it was impossible without being able to see anything. “You’re a horrible boyfriend. I think I already said that, but I feel the need to repeat it,” he growled. He wanted to accompany his growl with a glare in Dean’s direction, but again – difficult with the blindfold.

 

“Am I? ‘Cause I’m _pretty sure_ most boyfriends don’t let you fuck them in a public park on a fucking Saturday. Thank fuck Inias was on duty that day…” Dean chuckled again.

 

“Dean!” Cas chastised, voice a little breathy over the imagery that memory was conjuring. “Didn’t we agree to change the subject? I swear, I’ll take you in this car right now if you don’t stop.”

 

“Okay, okay. But… Just one more question. Did you _actually_ blow him in his patrol car when I went to grab us some sodas?”

 

“Maybe.” Cas smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. He so did, but if Dean had his secrets, so could he.

 

Dean chuckled again. “It’s funny you think that Inias didn’t tell me…”

 

 _Shit._ “If you already know, why’d you ask?”

 

“You know I’m not upset. In fact, I think it’s kinda hot. You blew a cop in his uniform, in his car, in the middle of the day. _Slut,”_ Dean teased.

 

“Uniforms are my weakness. You know that.”

 

“So, what would you do if Inias and I showed up to your office, in each other’s uniforms?”

 

“I would probably die. Or think I’ve died and gone to porn heaven.” His dick was rock hard now. _Great._

 

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop. Think of something unsexy, we’ll be there in about five minutes.”

 

Cas bit his lower lip for a moment before he asked, "This thing we have with Inias...  I know it wasn't planned and all. But you're okay with it, right? Because the second you feel uncomfortable with it, we’ll stop. Okay?"

 

Dean chuckled again. “I love you, baby. When you’re happy, I’m happy. And right now, I couldn’t be any happier. Okay?”

 

Cas smiled, nodding as he said, “Cool.” He took in a deep breath. “Okay, unsexy thoughts, unsexy thoughts… Donald Trump in swim trunks...”

 

“I caught Sam and your brother making out once.”

 

Cas made a strangled noise. “You’re kidding, right? Please tell me you’re kidding... And woah, that killed my boner.”

 

“I knew it. And no. Back when they were in college. They were drunk and stupid over spring break, crashing at my place. You remember? You were doing clinicals so I had to fucking babysit?”

 

“I don’t even know what to say… I’m sorry you had to see that.” Cas tried his hardest to _not_ conjure an image of his brother and Sam, who was _like_ a brother to him, making out. He repressed the urge to shudder with disgust.

 

“You should be. Not enough bleach for eyes in the world. The jackasses legit struck out at the bar and Gabe was telling Sam his hair made him the girl and basically tackled his face. Thankfully they passed out before it went further than that. And you’re welcome for that bit of blackmail you now have on Gabe. Been holding onto that for a fucking _long_ time.”

 

“Oh!” Cas rubbed his hands together. “I didn’t see it from _that_ perspective. Thanks, Dean. I take back the part about you being a horrible boyfriend. You’re actually pretty awesome… and sexy… and funny… and I love you.”

 

Dean barked out a laugh. The car started slowing down and finally came to a complete stop. “Okay, we’re here. I’m going to walk you now to where we’re going. You can’t touch the blindfold. It comes off when I take it off.”

 

“Okay… Master.” Cas chuckled. “Should I be afraid?”

 

Suddenly he felt the heat of Dean’s breath against his ear as he whispered, “I hope not.”

 

Cas smiled, hopefully at him. “I trust you, Dean. So don’t let me stumble over things, okay? And don’t let me run into a wall.”

 

That was met with an appreciative chuckle. “You trust me, but not enough to assume I wouldn’t let you… Nevermind, just for the cartoon comedic aspects, I totally would let you run into a wall. But I promise, I won’t.”

 

“Hence why I asked. I know you, Dean Winchester.”

 

“And I love you, Castiel Novak.”

 

Cas then heard the sound of the driver’s side door closing, before his door was opened. Dean gently grasped his hand and helped him out of the car. An arm was then at his back as he was guided forward. It was a little disorienting, but he trusted the man he loved to not let him fall or trip.

 

“Almost there, in like, a couple minutes…”

 

“You’re giving me a pool filled with sharks to get rid of all my enemies, like I’ve always wanted?”

 

“God, I fucking love you. No, I did _not_ get you a Bond villain pool. And _apparently_ I’m going to need to up my gift giving game.”

 

Cas laughed. “Well, a guy can hope. I have no clue what you have planned that involves a blindfold and doesn’t have anything to do with sex.”

 

“You’re such a Dom.” He chuckled again and suddenly they came to a stop. “We’re here.”

 

Dean carefully and slowly removed the blindfold.

 

Cas blinked a few times to focus on where he was. He knew they were outside from the sound of the traffic and when he looked up, he realized they were in front of the courthouse. And sitting on the steps behind Dean were Sam, Gabe, Eileen, Kali, Charlie, Gilda, Benny, Chuck, Bobby, John, Mary, Balthazar, and Inias. He looked at Dean in bemusement.

 

“What?” Cas gave Dean a questioning look. “I don’t…” His brain felt weirdly empty in that moment.

 

Dean smiled. “So, the thing is... I know I promised that when I proposed, it would be this huge ordeal. Rom-com level proposal. Doves, a flashmob, flying in an obscure band from the 80’s to play some terrible rock ballad. But the thing is, while I love rom-coms, you don’t. And I love you more than I love rom-coms. So, instead of embarrassing you or making you feel uncomfortable with flash and crazy, and to save us the drama of actually _planning_ a wedding. Figured we could go make our love official. On a random Tuesday. Surrounded by the few people we love.”

 

Cas blinked again, staring at Dean like he hadn’t just fulfilled the biggest wish in his life. “You want to marry me… right now?”

 

He smiled and nodded. “Whad'ya say? Would you…” Dean moved to one knee while grasping his hand and continued, “Castiel Novak. The love of my goddamn life. Will you marry me today? Without fanfare, without rings, and without a flashmob?”

 

Cas gasped when the realization hit him that this was actually happening. He nodded. "Um, yes. Yes, yes, _Hell_ yes!"

 

Dean jumped up and kissed him and suddenly they were surrounded by multiple squeals of delight and hands trying to pull them into hugs.

 

Sam was the first one to break up the madness by presenting two garment bags. The smirk on his face was pretty telling. When he handed Cas his, his smirk had turned into a full blown smile.

 

“It’s the tuxes, right?” Cas asked Dean with wide eyes. “Oh my…” He smiled at Dean, shaking his head slightly as he cooed, “Darling, you just have the _best_ taste.”

 

“Chose you, didn’t I?” Dean repeated, chuckling.

 

“I hope one of you takes lots of pictures!” He felt incredibly happy and excited, his cheeks were even starting to hurt he was smiling so much.

 

Gabe pulled out his expensive digital camera. “Ten steps ahead of you, Bro.”

 

Mary approached them, gently pushing both of them toward the entrance of the courthouse. “Come on, you two. Go get changed.”

 

Dean laughed and they all made it into the courthouse. Everyone stayed in the main lobby outside of the county clerk’s office while Cas and Dean found the men’s room.

 

Dean smiled cheekily as he held the door open for Cas. “After you, soon-to-be-husband.”

 

Cas grabbed Dean's wrist and pushed him through the door, pressing him against the wall and into a deep kiss. "I love you so much. Seriously. This is a million times better than a planet of Ryan Reynolds and a pool of sharks. You're the love of my life and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

 

“Good, ‘cause I would’ve been pissed if I put this on and you said no.” Dean smirked and pulled his t-shirt up and over his head. Dean was wearing a white corset.

 

Cas let out an unintelligible and breathless noise as he swallowed dryly. “Mmm, um. Oh, man.” He turned around quickly to get out of his clothes and into the orange menace to all eyesight.

 

He’d dressed too fast, because when he turned back, Dean was bent over, pulling his shoes out of the garment bag, ass cheeks on full display because he was wearing a lacy, white thong.

 

“Fuck…” He groaned, his fingers twitching in Dean’s direction. “I’m in Hell.” His voice sounded a bit squeaky, but it was to be expected when all of his blood flow suddenly dropped south.

 

Dean stood up, craning his neck to look back at Cas, a smirk firmly in place. He turned to face Cas, dressed in a corset, thong, stockings, and garters. Dean approached, crowding Cas up against the wall. He leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll, uh…” Dean cupped Cas’s erection over the horrific tuxedo pants and practically purred, “Grip you tight and raise you from perdition.”

 

Cas cleared his throat, trying to breathe. “Yeah, um, thanks for that.” The sarcasm got drowned by the aroused whimpers that escaped when Dean rubbed his thumb over his dick. “Can we have a real quick wedding so we can skip to the wedding night part?”

 

Dean let out an amused chuckle and before he could respond, the door to the bathroom opened. John Winchester called out, “Boys, what’s taking–” When the three of them made eye contact, the older man just shook his head. “Nope,” he said and promptly left.

 

Before he could say or do anything, Dean burst into laughter. Shaking his head in amusement. “That’ll teach him to barge in without knocking...”

 

Cas shook his head slightly. “I mean, is knocking going out of fashion and we didn’t get the memo?”

 

Dean shrugged. “Guess so? Although, in his defense... this _is_ a public restroom and we _didn’t_ lock the door.” Chuckling again, Dean grabbed his tuxedo and started pulling it on.

 

“Yeah, true. But he should know us by now.”

 

“Me especially. The poor bastard has seen way too much over the years.” As Dean started buttoning up his shirt, he gave Cas a small smile.

 

“At least you know he’ll always love you.”

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah. I’m a pretty lucky son. If we lived some fucked up, backwards place like Kansas, he’d have sent my ass to a conversion camp or some shit.”

 

Cas walked up to Dean and ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t believe we’re finally doing this. I’m so happy right now.”

 

“Not pissed about _not_ getting a white wedding or anything?” he teased as he clipped on his tie.

 

Cas shrugged and chucked Dean’s chin. “I don’t know. What you’re wearing underneath looked pretty white to me.”

 

“Bride’s supposed to wear white, right?” Dean gave him a cheesy grin.

 

“And you’re such a lovely bride.” Cas grinned before he pulled Dean into a deep kiss that left them both breathless. “Ready?”

 

Dean smiled. “Been waiting for this for over twenty years. I’m more than ready.” He took Cas’s hand and pulled it up to kiss his knuckles, one at a time. With his free hand, Dean opened the bathroom door and they walked to the clerk’s office, hand-in-hand.

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, guys! We love you and the boys that inspire us so! <3<3<3
> 
>  **Edited to add** : A tiny revision was made to this story. We originally wrote Gabe as the older brother, but for this fic's prequel, it has been changed to make him the younger brother. It just flowed better with their whole background. I believe I caught and changed any dialogue and narrative that contradicts that here.


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